Quantum Patricks

It's easy to find Patrick's IGA.

It has Patrick's IGA on the front in large letters.

This will be it, says Gaius. It looks well-stocked and colourful.

They leave their bikes and the pullalong outside and go in.

Surfing-with-Whales heads straight for the counter.

Got any goggles and flippers?

Sorry, no, says the person behind the counter who could be, but may not be, Patrick.

Know where I could get them?

Er...um, hmm.... says may-not-be-Patrick.

So that's a no, says Surfing with Whales. What about clipboards?

Clipboards I can do, says may-not-be Patrick.

(To save words, let's call him not-Patrick).

We're a newsagency as well as an IGA , says not-Patrick.

Cool, says Surfing-with-Whales. I'll take two, one waterproof and one normal.

You going diving? asks not-Patrick.

When I get the goggles and flippers, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Terence come up to the counter.

Guess what?

What? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

Gaius is buying fish socks! says Terence.

The fish socks are very popular, says not-Patrick.

Am I getting a clipboard? asks Terence.

Yeah, they have clipboards , but not goggles and flippers, says Surfing-with-Whales.

My daughter has some she never uses, says not-Patrick. She might be persuaded to sell them.

What size feet does she have? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

Quite big ones, says not-Patrick. Wait here.

Not-Patrick goes out the back to look for his daughter's old goggles and flippers.

Which may indicate that he is in fact Patrick.

But to be on the safe side, let's continue to call him not-Patrick.

Gaius comes up to the counter with orange fish socks.

How do you like these? asks Gaius. 'Gone fishing' socks. Pity they're orange.

They'll be easy to find, says Surfing-with-Whales..

Not too loud? asks Gaius.

Not-Patrick returns with his daughter, who is carrying a plastic bag containing goggles and flippers.

She is not a large person, but her goggles and flippers are big.

How Do I Know?

Is it morning? asks Little Mystic.

Yes, says Terence. 

Did I go to sleep? asks Little Mystic.

Yes, says Terence.

So what's going to happen? says Little Mystic.

Everything, says Terence. We're buying goggles and flippers and a clipboard today. Maybe two clipboards.

Maybe? says Little Mystic.

Probably, says Terence. Wake up everybody!

Gaius wakes up, under his tree.

Arh-ugh! says Gaius, rubbing his shoulder. What time is it?

Morning, says Terence. 

So it is, says Gaius.

He shakes Surfing-with-Whales, who is still asleep under the blanket.

Whaa..? says Surfing-with-Whales. Morning already?

It is, says Gaius. I believe you're planning to buy goggles and flippers today.

And two clipboards, says Terence.

I think one would suffice, says Gaius.

Surfing-with-Whales stands up. 

What's for breakfast?

There's one apple, says Gaius. And a scrape of peanut butter in the bottom of the jar.

I feel like coffee and a muffin, says Surfing-with-Whales. I'm heading into Strahan. Who's coming?

We'll all go, says Gaius. Now that you've mentioned coffee and a muffin.

Let's go! says Terence. 

They grab their bikes, and with Terence and Little Mystic in the pullalong, head into Strahan.

They stop at the Coffee Shack, opposite the cruise departure terminal.

The Coffee Shack is full of salmon fishery workers, eating muffins.

Surfing-with-Whales orders a spinach and feta muffin, and a flat white.

Gaius orders the same for himself, plus a red drink for Terence.

They sit down near a table of salmon fishery workers.

Tourists? asks one of the salmon fishery workers.

No, says Gaius. Ecologists. Checking on numbers of maugean skates.

Good luck with that, says the salmon fishery worker.

Thank you, says Gaius. I don't suppose you've seen any recently?

The salmon fishery workers laugh, and keep eating their muffins.

Anyone know where I can buy goggles and flippers? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

And two clipboards, says Terence.

And socks, says Gaius, remembering he's short of a sock.

Try Patrick's IGA, says the salmon fishery worker. Anyhow, gotta go. Shift starts in fifteen minutes.

The salmon fishery workers get up and leave.

Helpful, says Gaius.

Never seen goggles and flippers in an IGA, says Surfing-with-Whales.

No, says Gaius. Perhaps he just meant us to ask there.

Makes sense, says Surfing-with-Whales. Okay let's go.

NOW everything's going to happen, says Terence.

I believe you, says Little Mystic. Do you think Patrick's IGA will sell socks?

How do I know? says Terence.

Crabs Go Oo-lay-o

Nightfall.

Gaius makes himself comfortable under a tree.

Surfing-with-Whales looks for his blanket.

Where could it be?

He looks into the pullalong.

And there is the blanket.

Little Mystic is curled up in the corner.

Move yourself, says Surfing-with-Whales. I need the blanket.

Okay, says Little Mystic. I don't mind shivering.

Sorry, says Surfing-with-Whales. But I do. 

Little Mystic moves off the blanket.

I'll get Terence, says Surfing-with-Whales.

He calls Terence. 

What? asks Terence.

Little Mystic is cold, says Surfing-with-Whales, and I've taken the blanket.

That's MEAN, says Terence. You should take him as well.

I don't want to roll over on him, says Surfing-with-Whales. Why don't you keep him company.

Okay, says Terence.

Surfing-with-Whales lifts Terence into the pullalong and heads off with the blanket, to find a good tree. 

I'm here, says Terence.

Sing to me, says Little Mystic.

Terence is flattered. He is not often asked.

Okay, says Terence. Close your eyes and I'll sing you a song of what's going to happen.

I'd like that, says Little Mystic. Then I'll know what's going to happen.

You might not, says Terence.

Why not? asks Little Mystic. 

You might fall asleep, says Terence.

I won't, says Little Mystic.

Terence starts singing his song about what's going to happen:

in the morning, we will go

to buy a clipboard

oo-lay-o

I'll draw a skull and crossbones

on the clipboard

oo-lay-o

Surfing-with-Whales will dive with the clipboard and show

it to crabs

oo-lay-o

and the crabs will go 

oo-lay o

we don't know

and we've lost our brother, where did he go?

oo-lay-o

and Surfing-with-Whales will say

that is something I know

oo-lay-o

if you show me the skates, where they go,

I will show you your brother 

in a sock full of cabbage 

oo-lay-o....

Terence stops singing.

Then what? asks Little Mystic.

I thought you'd be sleeping by now, says Terence.

It's too thrilling, says Little Mystic.

Not Killing Anything

I see you've removed the poultice, says Gaius.

Er, yeah, says Surfing-with-Whales.

It fell off in the water, says Terence.

And my sock? asks Gaius.

That too, says Surfing-with-Whales. I could go back and look for it.

It's getting too dark, says Gaius. 

In the morning, says Surfing-with-Whales. 

Do crabs eat socks? asks Terence.

I doubt it, says Gaius. But they might be attracted by cabbage inside the sock.

Then what? asks Terence.

Gaius is pleased that Terence is asking these questions. 

Demonstrating an interest in crustacean behaviour.

The crab may crawl inside the sock, says Gaius. To get to the cabbage.

Would it eat the cabbage? asks Terence.

Crabs do eat plant material, says Gaius. 

What if it couldn't get out of the sock? asks Terence.

A good question, says Gaius. And when Surfing-with-Whales finds my sock, we shall find out the answer.

He looks across at Surfing-with-Whales to see if he's listening. 

But he isn't. He's looking at his phone, which is ringing.

Ring ring. He answers.

It's Sweezus.

Hey! says Sweezus. How's it going?

Great, says Surfing-with-Whales. 

Still in Tassie? asks Sweezus.

Yeah, says Surfing-with-Whales. We're in Strahan.

So you won't be back next Saturday for the Tour Down Under, says Sweezus.

No way bro, says Surfing-With Whales. Pity.

No worries, says Sweezus. How's Terence? 

I'll put him on, says Surfing-with-Whales.

He hands Terence the phone.

Hey, little buddy, says Sweezus, Keeping out of trouble?

Guess what? says Terence. It was Christmas and I didn't get a present not even a squirt gun, but I'm getting a clipboard and I have to draw a skull and crossbones on it.

What for? asks Sweezus. 

To show the crabs what we're looking for, says Terence.

I thought it was some kind of skate, says Sweezus.

It is, says Terence. 

And why do the crabs need to see it? asks Sweezus

So they think we want to kill them, says Terence.

What's this? asks Gaius. Were not killing anything.

What did Gaius say? asks Sweezus.

We're not killing anything, says Terence. But the crab might get stuck in his sock.

Why is... begins Sweezus, but thinks better of it.

Yeah well good luck little buddy. And stay out of the water.

I will , says Terence.

Sweezus is glad that he called. 

Wouldn't want Surfing-with-Whales and Gaius turning up at the last minute expecting a place in Team Condor.

And it's good things are going okay in Tassie.

Along with the usual stuff.

Flippering Past

Why do you want a clipboard? asks Gaius.

To prove things, says Terence.

Such as? asks Gaius.

Surfing-with-Whales saw two skates, then he said he didn't, says Terence.

Maybe that means he didn't, says Gaius.

BUT, says Terence, I'd have written it down on my clipboard.

Indeed, says Gaius. However I don't have a clipboasrd. If I had one, I'd have used it as a surface to cut up the cabbage.

Lucky me, says Terence.

Why so? asks Gaius.

That would've ruined my clipboard, says Terence.

Surfing-with-Whales and Roo-kai have come back to the camp site.

What did you think of the water? asks Gaius.

I reckon I'll need goggles and flippers, says Surfing-with-Whales. And a waterproof clipboard.

You too? says Gaius. 

When I see any bottom-dwelling crabs, says Surfing-with-Whales. I'll show them the clipboard.

Instead of talking, says Roo-kai.

Bottom-dwelling crabs won't make head nor tail of your clipboard, says Gaius.

Yeah, but I was thinking of a picture, says Surfing-with-Whales. So they know what I'm looking for.

Put yourself in their place, says Gaius.

He's going to, says Terence.

I mean, see it their way, says Gaius. Someone comes goggling and flippering past with a picture of a maugean skate, their number one predator. Are they likely to point you in the right direction?

Good point, says Surfing-with-Whales.

He tries to put himself in the bottom-dwellers' position.

Probably depends what they think I'm gonna do when I find one.

I know! says Terence. A skull and cross bones! I'll do the drawing! 

Awesome, says Surfing-with-Whales. We'll head into Strahan tomorrow and buy everything. That's if Gaius agrees.

I don't need to agree, says Gaius. This is your hare-brained scheme.

Okay, but I thought... begins Surfing-with-Whales.

Think again, says Gaius.

Second Mollusc

Roo-kai spots a second mollusc.

The second mollusc has not spotted him.

Good afternoon, mollusc, says Roo-kai.

Blurt! says the mollusc.

A quick question, says Roo-kai.

Then you'll eat me! says the mollusc.

I may not, says Roo-kai.

What is it? asks the mollusc.

Any maugean skates around here? asks Roo-kai.

Too shallow, says the mollusc. You need to ask a bottom-dwelling crab.

How do I contact a bottom-dwelling crab? asks Roo-kai.

Don't ask me, says the mollusc.

If you don't know, says Roo-kai. I may as well eat you.

I knew it! says the mollusc.

Roo-kai eats the mollusc, but feels a bit bad.

He sees Surfing-with-Whales walking back to the campsite with Terence.

He joins them.

Guess what? says Terence. Surfing-with-Whales is getting goggles and flippers!

Great, says Roo-kai. Where from?

There must be a sports shop in Strahan, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Yes, there must, says Roo-kai. Want me to find out?

Nah, says Surfing-with-Whales. I'll take a look in the morning.

Okay, says Roo-kai.

Your supposed to help ME, says Terence.

What do you want? asks Roo-kai.

A clipboard, says Terence. 

Gaius might have one, says Roo-kai.

Terence runs ahead to ask Gaius if he has a clipboard.

Roo-kai looks at Surfing-with-Whales.

I try to be helpful, says Roo-kai.

I know, says Surfing-with-Whales. 

I asked a mollusc if it'd seen any skates, says Roo-kai.

What did it say? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

Ask a bottom-dwelling crab, says Roo-kai.

And did you? asks Sufing-with-Whales.

I'm a shorebird, says Roo-kai.

Yeah, but it's a good suggestion, says Surfing-with-Whales.

You might do it yourself when you get your goggles and flippers, says Roo-kai.

Can't ask anything with my mouth shut, says Surfing-with-Whales.

You could write the question on a waterproof clipboard, says Roo-kai.

D'you reckon bottom-dwellers can read? asks Surfing-with-Whales. 

Worth a try, says Roo-kai. 

Sure is, says Surfing-with-Whales. 

Best keep it short, though, says Roo-kai. 

Ask A Mollusc

Apple? asks Gaius.

Not after that cabbage, says Surfing-with-Whales. I might walk down to the water.

So your ankle feels better? asks Gaius.

Yeah, a lot better, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Cabbage at both ends, says Gaius. 

Surfing-with-Whales ignores him.

He stands up and walks down to the water.

He'll be fine to go diving tomorrow.

He imagines himself going in, wearing goggles, and flippers.

It occurs to him that he hasn't brought goggles or flippers.

Okay. He'll have to ask Gaius to fork out for goggles and flippers.

He continues to imagine himself going in.

Terence has followed him.

Are you going in now? asks Terence.

Not yet, says Surfing-with-Whales. I need goggles and flippers.

And me, says Terence.

What will you do? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

Stand here and wait till you come out and give me a number, says Terence. Then I 'll write down the number.

Wanna practise? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

Yes! says Terence.

Surfing-with-Whales walks into the water up to his waist and ducks under the water.

He stands up and raises two fingers.

Two! says Terence.

Surfing wirh-Whales squelches out.

Shit, says Surfing with-Whales. Lost my poultice. And Gaius's sock. He won't be happy.

Yes he will ! says Terence. You saw two skates already.

He starts to run back to tell Gaius that Surfing-with-Whales has seen two skates already.

Stop! says Surfing-with-Whales. No I didn't. That was a practice.

It still counts, says Terence.

Only if I'd actually seen them, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Boo! says Terence. You lied.

Roo-kai is nearby searching for molluscs.

He finds one.

He prongs it, shakes it and swallows.

It occurs to him that the mollusc might have known if there were skates in the area.

Too late now.

But he'll ask the next mollusc.