The Kindness of Strangers

Please calm down, Mr...umm..., began Dr Suzanne Miller.

Ageless, said Ageless.

Mr Ageless, she continued. What a lovely name for a lobster. Its significance is certainly not lost on me. Now, Mr Ageless, I'm very sorry to have to tell you that trilobites are not currently on display here in the museum.

Not on display! spluttered Ageless. Why not?

Ask Santos, said Dr Suzanne Miller. They sponsor the Fossils Gallery. However, we may have one or two trilobites in the Museum Shop.

In the shop! repeated Ageless. Don't tell me you expect me to BUY one!

No, no, Mr Ageless, said Dr Suzanne Miller placatingly. In view of the inconvenience you've suffered...

Indeed! said Ageless. Inconvenience with knobs on!

Tang and Dragon d'Or began to snigger. Their teacher silenced them with the most severe of looks.

In view of that, said Dr Suzanne Miller, I think it only fair that we should take you to the Museum Shop and allow you to choose a trilobite to take home with you.

How kind, said Ageless, with a triumphant look at Tang and Dragon d'Or. And maybe THEY should pay for it.

No, no, said Dr Suzanne Miller. They were just being boys.

Well, said Ageless. I would like to whack them with a ruler.

Everyone looked horrified.

Only joking, said Ageless.

Tang and Dragon d'Or went back to join their classmates, with their teacher. Mr Lee and Dr Suzanne Miller walked Ageless over to the Museum Shop.

No one spoke. It was awkward. Ageless thought perhaps he ought to start a conversation.

Do you ever wonder what would have happened if Hitler had won the war? he asked his companions.

We would all be speaking German, said Dr Suzanne Miller.

Ageless was astonished. It had never crossed his mind that THAT might be the answer.

Hypnosis in the Fossil Gallery

Excuse me sir! called the information officer. Excuse me!

Ageless turned around at the bottom of the stairs.

Yes? said Ageless.

No backpacks in the museum, said the information officer officiously.

Ageless was annoyed. How was he to steal anything without his backpack? He had little choice, however, because the information officer had followed him to the stairs.

Thank you sir, she said, pulling at his backpack.

Eowwwh! said Ageless. That hurt!

Sorry sir, said the information officer. Is there anything I can help you with at all?

How do I get to Level Three? asked Ageless. I'm interested in looking at the trilobites.

The information officer looked blank.

Trilobites? she said. Are they some sort of fossils?

Of course they are, said Ageless. What sort of information officer are you? Perhaps you could inform me whether or not there's a lift?

Through there, said the information officer, pointing. There's a lift at the end of the Aboriginal Cultures Gallery.

Thank you, said Ageless, glad he didn't have to climb up all those stairs.

He came out of the lift on Level Three and blinked. It was rather dark. Then he saw in front of him a door leading to the Santos Fossils Exhibition. He went in. A group of schoolchildren was sitting on the floor listening to a man tell them about the fossils.

He gazed around the room. Where were the trilobites? He could see ammonites and belemnites, opalised snail shells and fossilised dinosaur bones, but there wasn't a single trilobite to be seen!

They must be somewhere else, he thought.

He was about to wander into the next gallery when he was roughly seized from behind.

Hey guys! A lobster! said a schoolboy's voice. Who wants to see me hypnotise a lobster?