He's got TWO! says Terence.
Try and think like a grown up, says Sweezus.
Terence tries.
Saint Roley has a Mia and a Savannah. That's not fair. But Saint Roley is Terence's parrot.
If my parrot owns two things, says Terence, they're really mine, right?
Yep, says Sweezus.
So I've got four things, says Terence.
Pretty much, says Sweezus.
Terence stands up in his seat.
This is weird. He can see the head of Saint Roley.
He taps it.
What? says Saint Roley.
How come you're up so high? asks Terence.
I'm standing on my toys, says Saint Roley. My Mia and my Savannah.
Which one is on the bottom? asks Terence.
Mia, says Saint Roley.
They're actually both mine, says Terence.
I don't think so, says Saint Roley.
Because you're my parrot, says Terence.
That's not what it says on my Parrot Passport, says Saint Roley.
Terence sits down, temporarily defeated.
Saint Roley continues standing.
There is a good reason Savannah is on top. She's a grey fluffy elephant, and her trunk sets Saint Roley off balance when she's on the bottom.
There is also a good reason why Saint Roley needs extra height at the moment.
Gaius is boning him up on the Far Eastern Curlew.
So, says Gaius. What do we know?
They have the longest beak ever, says Saint Roley.
What shape is it? asks Gaius.
Curving downwards, says Saint Roley.
And what is that like? asks Gaius.
Like their population numbers, says Saint Roley. Sad to say, but it's an apt image.
It is indeed, agrees Gaius.
Saint Roley will be a great asset, thinks Gaius. He sees the big picture.
Terence is sitting solidly, thinking.
Somebody else owns Saint Roley.
Probably a grown up. Everyone has to be owned by a grown up.
The flight attendant brings Sweezus his breakfast. Yogurt, scrambled egg, blueberry pancake, a croissant with butter and jam.
And then Arthur's breakfast.
Arthur wants his seat back.
Terence has to go back to the seat that he shares with Saint Roley.
Here, little dude, says Sweezus. Take my jam pack.
Red jam!
If Terence has to be owned by someone he hopes it is Sweezus.
The seat is crowded with cushiony toys, as well as Saint Roley.
Terence squeezes in with his Mia and his jam pack.
Saint Roley is practising a mournful cry: Cuuuurlew!
And Gaius is saying: Well done.
Thursday, December 7, 2017
Wednesday, December 6, 2017
The Dry Cleaned Impostor
The plane lands in Dubai.
This is awful, says Belle. Ninety minutes. A bit tight, don't you think?
We can do it, says Sweezus.
What's ninety minutes? says Gaius.
All the time we've got here, says Belle.
Excellent says Gaius. I dislike waiting in airports. What do you think, Terence?
Giraffe! says Terence.
We may not have time to visit Giraffe, says Belle.
......
Giraffe (an airport café).
Terence: And something for Mia.
Arthur: It's a toy.
Saint Roley: Mine isn't hungry.
Terence: Mine is too thin.
Arthur: Because you took out the blanket.
Saint Roley: I didn't. I kept mine in.
Arthur: Finish your red drinks.
Terence: I can't drink fast.
Arthur: I'll screw the lid on.
Terence: I'll do it.
........
A trail of red spots follows Terence, Arthur and Saint Roley to the boarding gate.
Terence hasn't properly screwed the lid on.
.......
There you are ! says Belle. You only just made it. Terence! What's happened to your Mia?
The blue manta ray fluffy toy Mia is red and wet at the bottom.
.....
Oop! says the boarding pass inspector. You can't bring that on.
Wah! says Terence.
But he can't bring it on.
.......
On board Emirates flight 414 from Dubai to Sydney.
Now Terence, says Belle, grow up and stop sulking. Would you like to sit next to Sweezus?
YAY! says Terence.
The flight attendant floats by in her red hat with the floating veil, floating.
Toy? says the flight attendant.
No thanks, says Sweezus.
For the child, says the flight attendant. Perhaps a Savannah?
He wrecked the last one, says Sweezus. Got red sticky stuff all inside it.
Oh dear, says the flight attendant. Was it a Savannah?
It was a blue fluffy manta ray thing, says Sweezus.
A Mia! says the flight attendant. I'm with you. Guess what?
What? says Terence.
It's been dry cleaned, says the flight attendant. Here is your Mia,
She hands Terence a Mia.
Terence knows she is lying.
Because it's not thin.
But he is sitting next to Sweezus. Normally that wouldn't happen. Sweezus always sits next to Arthur. They talk about cycling and surfing and writing and how they can get money. But now it's just him.
Thank you, says Terence, accepting Mia, the dry cleaned impostor.
My pleasure, says she, smiling sweetly at Terence and Sweezus.
For the first time in his life Terence feels like a grown up. He has not made a fuss.
But it only lasts a few seconds, because guess what?
Saint Roley has got a Savannah.
This is awful, says Belle. Ninety minutes. A bit tight, don't you think?
We can do it, says Sweezus.
What's ninety minutes? says Gaius.
All the time we've got here, says Belle.
Excellent says Gaius. I dislike waiting in airports. What do you think, Terence?
Giraffe! says Terence.
We may not have time to visit Giraffe, says Belle.
......
Giraffe (an airport café).
Terence: And something for Mia.
Arthur: It's a toy.
Saint Roley: Mine isn't hungry.
Terence: Mine is too thin.
Arthur: Because you took out the blanket.
Saint Roley: I didn't. I kept mine in.
Arthur: Finish your red drinks.
Terence: I can't drink fast.
Arthur: I'll screw the lid on.
Terence: I'll do it.
........
A trail of red spots follows Terence, Arthur and Saint Roley to the boarding gate.
Terence hasn't properly screwed the lid on.
.......
There you are ! says Belle. You only just made it. Terence! What's happened to your Mia?
The blue manta ray fluffy toy Mia is red and wet at the bottom.
.....
Oop! says the boarding pass inspector. You can't bring that on.
Wah! says Terence.
But he can't bring it on.
.......
On board Emirates flight 414 from Dubai to Sydney.
Now Terence, says Belle, grow up and stop sulking. Would you like to sit next to Sweezus?
YAY! says Terence.
The flight attendant floats by in her red hat with the floating veil, floating.
Toy? says the flight attendant.
No thanks, says Sweezus.
For the child, says the flight attendant. Perhaps a Savannah?
He wrecked the last one, says Sweezus. Got red sticky stuff all inside it.
Oh dear, says the flight attendant. Was it a Savannah?
It was a blue fluffy manta ray thing, says Sweezus.
A Mia! says the flight attendant. I'm with you. Guess what?
What? says Terence.
It's been dry cleaned, says the flight attendant. Here is your Mia,
She hands Terence a Mia.
Terence knows she is lying.
Because it's not thin.
But he is sitting next to Sweezus. Normally that wouldn't happen. Sweezus always sits next to Arthur. They talk about cycling and surfing and writing and how they can get money. But now it's just him.
Thank you, says Terence, accepting Mia, the dry cleaned impostor.
My pleasure, says she, smiling sweetly at Terence and Sweezus.
For the first time in his life Terence feels like a grown up. He has not made a fuss.
But it only lasts a few seconds, because guess what?
Saint Roley has got a Savannah.
Tuesday, December 5, 2017
Four Eyes In Reality
Arthur shoves the bird puzzle in front of Sweezus. Points to the birds' double eyes.
Tell THEM, says Sweezus, waving backwards, eyes on his in flight movie.
(Carol is in bed with Therese. They are kissing, among other things, in soft focus).
Arthur gets up, with the puzzle. Edges past Sweezus and stands in the aisle beside Terence.
Spotted it? says Gaius.
The eyes, says Arthur. Two on the same side.
Let's see, says Belle. Ooh yes, that's kind of arty. Look, Terence.
What? says Terence.
The birds have two eyes showing on the same side of their beak, says Belle.
So what? says Terence.
So WHAT? says Saint Roley. It's wrong. Do you know what that means?
It means, says Arthur, that if they were real birds they'd have four eyes.
Four eyes, says Saint Roley. Now do you see?
But it's just a puzzle, says Belle And that's not even the question.
What's not the question? says Arthur.
What's wrong with this picture? says Belle.
I just told you, says Arthur.
Ha ha, says Terence. He just told you.
I mean the task is, to find four birds the same as the ones in the bird book, says Belle.
No one told me, says Arthur. That should be easy.
True, says Gaius. That is the task. Terence, can you do it?
No, says Terence.
It's an insult, says Saint Roley.
Then I'll do it, says Gaius.
He doesn't like to see a puzzle unfinished.
A black bird with a yellow beak, a red bird with an orange beak, a blue bird with a pink beak and an orange parrot with a red wing. Their doubles are easily spotted.
Gaius completes it in seconds.
Arthur has gone back to his seat, squeezing past Sweezus.
(Carol is speaking to the lawyers, in the presence of her husband. Giving up the rights to her child, rather than continue to fight a damaging custody battle. We are better than that, says Carol, ).
You should watch this, says Sweezus.
Whats it about? asks Arthur.
Women bonking, says Sweezus.
This puts Arthur off.
Tell THEM, says Sweezus, waving backwards, eyes on his in flight movie.
(Carol is in bed with Therese. They are kissing, among other things, in soft focus).
Arthur gets up, with the puzzle. Edges past Sweezus and stands in the aisle beside Terence.
Spotted it? says Gaius.
The eyes, says Arthur. Two on the same side.
Let's see, says Belle. Ooh yes, that's kind of arty. Look, Terence.
What? says Terence.
The birds have two eyes showing on the same side of their beak, says Belle.
So what? says Terence.
So WHAT? says Saint Roley. It's wrong. Do you know what that means?
It means, says Arthur, that if they were real birds they'd have four eyes.
Four eyes, says Saint Roley. Now do you see?
But it's just a puzzle, says Belle And that's not even the question.
What's not the question? says Arthur.
What's wrong with this picture? says Belle.
I just told you, says Arthur.
Ha ha, says Terence. He just told you.
I mean the task is, to find four birds the same as the ones in the bird book, says Belle.
No one told me, says Arthur. That should be easy.
True, says Gaius. That is the task. Terence, can you do it?
No, says Terence.
It's an insult, says Saint Roley.
Then I'll do it, says Gaius.
He doesn't like to see a puzzle unfinished.
A black bird with a yellow beak, a red bird with an orange beak, a blue bird with a pink beak and an orange parrot with a red wing. Their doubles are easily spotted.
Gaius completes it in seconds.
Arthur has gone back to his seat, squeezing past Sweezus.
(Carol is speaking to the lawyers, in the presence of her husband. Giving up the rights to her child, rather than continue to fight a damaging custody battle. We are better than that, says Carol, ).
You should watch this, says Sweezus.
Whats it about? asks Arthur.
Women bonking, says Sweezus.
This puts Arthur off.
Monday, December 4, 2017
What's Wrong With These Birds?
Lunch service is over. Three more hours to Dubai.
Sweezus is watching an in flight movie.
Arthur composes a poem in his head.
Delirium and slow rhythms under the streaking of daylight.....
Gaius wakes up and feels peckish.
Here, have some of these, says Belle. Lunch came and went while you were sleeping.
She hands him a kids' pack of alphabet biscuits, and some Cheez Dippers.
Thank you, says Gaius. Is this what you had?
No it's Terence's, says Belle. I had the chicken in yogurt sauce with red peppers..
Gaius looks regretful, as he opens the pack of Cheez Dippers.
Complimentary drinks? asks the flight attendant. Red or white wine, beer, juice, tea or coffee?
Gaius is determined to get something for his money. He asks for a beer.
Aah, that's better. And Belle has found a packet of raisins in the kids' snack box.
He looks over at Terence and Saint Roley who are sharing a puzzle.
Enjoying the flight boys? asks Gaius.
We're doing a puzzle, says Terence.
Bird spotting, says Saint Roley.
You should be good at that, says Gaius.
I thought so, says Saint Roley. But these birds are rubbish.
What's the problem? asks Gaius. Show me.
NO! says Terence. It's not for grown ups.
It's for bird spotters, says Saint Roley.
Indeed, says Gaius. And I'm a bird spotter. Show me the puzzle.
Terence shows him the puzzle.
I see, says Gaius. This is your bird book, in the corner, with four birds illustrated. And this is the jungle, full of many different birds, four of which are the same as the ones in the bird book.
Terence looks bored. He's figured out that much.
Gaius opens the alphabet biscuits.
They're OURS, says Terence.
You didn't want them, says Belle. You only wanted tomato juice, remember?
Okay, says Terence.
There is something wrong with these birds, says Gaius, the bird spotter.
We know, says Saint Roley.
Gaius taps Sweezus on the shoulder.
Sweezus looks over his seat. What is it?
What's wrong with these birds? It's a puzzle.
Sweezus is in the middle of an engrossing movie about female relationships. His mind is elsewhere.
He grabs the puzzle and shoves it at Arthur.
What's wrong with these birds?
Arthur welcomes the interruption. His poem is finished.
The birds are depicted in profile. Beak to one side. You might expect one eye to be visible. But no, you see two.
Sweezus is watching an in flight movie.
Arthur composes a poem in his head.
Delirium and slow rhythms under the streaking of daylight.....
Gaius wakes up and feels peckish.
Here, have some of these, says Belle. Lunch came and went while you were sleeping.
She hands him a kids' pack of alphabet biscuits, and some Cheez Dippers.
Thank you, says Gaius. Is this what you had?
No it's Terence's, says Belle. I had the chicken in yogurt sauce with red peppers..
Gaius looks regretful, as he opens the pack of Cheez Dippers.
Complimentary drinks? asks the flight attendant. Red or white wine, beer, juice, tea or coffee?
Gaius is determined to get something for his money. He asks for a beer.
Aah, that's better. And Belle has found a packet of raisins in the kids' snack box.
He looks over at Terence and Saint Roley who are sharing a puzzle.
Enjoying the flight boys? asks Gaius.
We're doing a puzzle, says Terence.
Bird spotting, says Saint Roley.
You should be good at that, says Gaius.
I thought so, says Saint Roley. But these birds are rubbish.
What's the problem? asks Gaius. Show me.
NO! says Terence. It's not for grown ups.
It's for bird spotters, says Saint Roley.
Indeed, says Gaius. And I'm a bird spotter. Show me the puzzle.
Terence shows him the puzzle.
I see, says Gaius. This is your bird book, in the corner, with four birds illustrated. And this is the jungle, full of many different birds, four of which are the same as the ones in the bird book.
Terence looks bored. He's figured out that much.
Gaius opens the alphabet biscuits.
They're OURS, says Terence.
You didn't want them, says Belle. You only wanted tomato juice, remember?
Okay, says Terence.
There is something wrong with these birds, says Gaius, the bird spotter.
We know, says Saint Roley.
Gaius taps Sweezus on the shoulder.
Sweezus looks over his seat. What is it?
What's wrong with these birds? It's a puzzle.
Sweezus is in the middle of an engrossing movie about female relationships. His mind is elsewhere.
He grabs the puzzle and shoves it at Arthur.
What's wrong with these birds?
Arthur welcomes the interruption. His poem is finished.
The birds are depicted in profile. Beak to one side. You might expect one eye to be visible. But no, you see two.
Sunday, December 3, 2017
Mia One Mia Too
Charles de Gaulle airport.
Emirates flight E72 to Dubai has boarded.
Now Terence, says Belle, this will be a long flight. Seven hours forty minutes. Can you sit quietly?
Yes, says Terence. Do you want to know why?
Why? asks Belle.
Because I've got NO ONE TO TALK TO, says Terence. No Baldy.
You're not the only one, says Saint Roley. I've got no brother.
Toy? asks the flight attendant, stopping by with a toy box.
Thank you, says Belle. Look, Terence. Look, Saint Roley. An alligator, a bear, an elephant or a manta ray?
The manta ray is called Mia, says the flight attendant, picking one up.
She hopes Terence will choose a Mia. She has an excess of Mias.
Mia, says Terence.
Mia too, says Saint Roley.
We don't normally give toys to birds, says the flight attendant. But today, you are lucky.
Terence and Baldy both receive fluffy blue manta rays.
Have you looked at the lunch menu? asks the flight attendant. You might want to put in your order.
Sweezus and Arthur are already looking. They've missed breakfast.
They order braised beef with rosemary.
Gaius has fallen asleep. Blame the fish glue.
I'll order for Gaius, says Belle. We'll both have the chicken.
The flight attendant writes it all down.
I'll bring the the children an activity pack and a snack box, she says as she swishes away with the toy box to find the next child.
Terence examines his Mia. She has a back pocket. If you stick your hand in, there's a folded up blanket inside.
He pulls out the blanket. Now his Mia looks thin.
I've got my own parrot passport, says Saint Roley, to his Mia.
Saint Roley's Mia has travelled widely (back and forth in the toy box) and knows that he isn't a parrot.
But you meet all sorts on the way to Dubai.
.....
Lunch time. The lunches are edging their way slowly up the plane.
Sweezus and Arthur get their lunches first.
An appetiser of Moroccan chickpea salad with feta, followed by slow braised beef and mashed potatoes, with a triple chocolate delice for dessert.
Belle gets her chicken in yogurt sauce with broccoli and red peppers. Terence and Saint Roley have snack boxes, pencils and puzzles. But they don't eat the snacks.
Gaius sleeps on, dreaming of tiny pieces of china.
Belle doesn't like to wake him.
The staff are trained not to wake anyone who is sleeping.
So Gaius misses out on his lunch.
Emirates flight E72 to Dubai has boarded.
Now Terence, says Belle, this will be a long flight. Seven hours forty minutes. Can you sit quietly?
Yes, says Terence. Do you want to know why?
Why? asks Belle.
Because I've got NO ONE TO TALK TO, says Terence. No Baldy.
You're not the only one, says Saint Roley. I've got no brother.
Toy? asks the flight attendant, stopping by with a toy box.
Thank you, says Belle. Look, Terence. Look, Saint Roley. An alligator, a bear, an elephant or a manta ray?
The manta ray is called Mia, says the flight attendant, picking one up.
She hopes Terence will choose a Mia. She has an excess of Mias.
Mia, says Terence.
Mia too, says Saint Roley.
We don't normally give toys to birds, says the flight attendant. But today, you are lucky.
Terence and Baldy both receive fluffy blue manta rays.
Have you looked at the lunch menu? asks the flight attendant. You might want to put in your order.
Sweezus and Arthur are already looking. They've missed breakfast.
They order braised beef with rosemary.
Gaius has fallen asleep. Blame the fish glue.
I'll order for Gaius, says Belle. We'll both have the chicken.
The flight attendant writes it all down.
I'll bring the the children an activity pack and a snack box, she says as she swishes away with the toy box to find the next child.
Terence examines his Mia. She has a back pocket. If you stick your hand in, there's a folded up blanket inside.
He pulls out the blanket. Now his Mia looks thin.
I've got my own parrot passport, says Saint Roley, to his Mia.
Saint Roley's Mia has travelled widely (back and forth in the toy box) and knows that he isn't a parrot.
But you meet all sorts on the way to Dubai.
.....
Lunch time. The lunches are edging their way slowly up the plane.
Sweezus and Arthur get their lunches first.
An appetiser of Moroccan chickpea salad with feta, followed by slow braised beef and mashed potatoes, with a triple chocolate delice for dessert.
Belle gets her chicken in yogurt sauce with broccoli and red peppers. Terence and Saint Roley have snack boxes, pencils and puzzles. But they don't eat the snacks.
Gaius sleeps on, dreaming of tiny pieces of china.
Belle doesn't like to wake him.
The staff are trained not to wake anyone who is sleeping.
So Gaius misses out on his lunch.
Saturday, December 2, 2017
Okay. Have It!
Gaius and Terence have stayed up all night, mending the poodle with fish glue.
It's like a jigsaw.
The flower pattern on the shoulder is helpful, says Gaius. The body is coming along nicely
Terence kisses the head.
That's sweet, Terence, says Belle.
She checks the time on her phone.
Yikes! We need to get going! Wake up, Sweezie! Arthur!
They wake up. They were only half asleep anyway, thanks to the fish glue.
Saint Roley is fluttering about. Where's my parrot passport?
I've got it, says Belle. Now, who wants to pop down and say goodbye to Baldy?
Ah, says Gaius. Whoever's going, would they mind retrieving my beetle blood sample tissue? I was planning to show it to Simone, and I took it out of my back pack but she would keep on talking so I put it down on the coffee table, but failed to remember to pick it up as I was leaving.
Gaius! says Belle. It's a bloody tissue. How will that look to Simone! I'll go. Coming Terence?
Yes, says Terence. And I'm bringing my head.
I'll come too, says Saint Roley.
Belle knocks on the door of number 27. Simone opens.
Belle! says Simone. Come in. Baldy! Terence is here!
Baldy comes running. And stops.
Terence is holding the smiling head of the poodle. It must be a present.
Baldy holds out his arms for the present.
He's not dead, says Terence. He's getting mended.
I don't mind. I'll just have the head, says Baldy. You're my BEST cousin. You knew I didn't mean it.
Mean what? asks Terence.
That I didn't want it because it would make me sad, says Baldy. I do want it. It will remind me of our mission.
Well, says Terence, we really only came here to get Gaius's tissue.
Simone is getting Belle a glass of fresh orange juice.
Belle is looking around the room for Gaius's tissue.
How about you boys? says Simone. I have some cranberry cordial somewhere.
Terence and Baldy are negotiating poodle parts, and not listening.
Yes, says Belle. That's what they would like.
Saint Roley has spied a crumpled tissue under the coffee table.
He dives under, and draws it out with his beak.
Belle sees it, and is about to pick it up when Simone grabs it.
Oh how disgusting. says Simone. I'll get rid of it.
She runs to the bathroom and flushes the tissue down the toilet.
So much for that. Perhaps it was Gaius's tissue. Perhaps it wasn't. Belle doesn't feel like pursuing it now.
All right, says Terence. You can have the body. I'll have the head.
I want the head, says Baldy. It's always smiling.
At me, says Terence. He turns the head slightly.
Say goodbye boys, says Belle. You may not see one another for ages.
We haven't finished our drinks, says Terence.
Hurry, says Belle. We're catching the metro to the airport.
That will take forever, says Simone. Take the shuttle.
No kidding, says Belle. There's a shuttle?
Yes, from the Mistral direct to the airport, says Simone.
Great, says Belle. I'll check it out. Okay boys. This it it.
Goodbye cousin who I thought was the best cousin ever, but he wasn't, says Baldy.
OKAY! says Terence. Have it!
So Baldy gets the poodle head to help him remember that Terence was the best cousin ever.
It's like a jigsaw.
The flower pattern on the shoulder is helpful, says Gaius. The body is coming along nicely
Terence kisses the head.
That's sweet, Terence, says Belle.
She checks the time on her phone.
Yikes! We need to get going! Wake up, Sweezie! Arthur!
They wake up. They were only half asleep anyway, thanks to the fish glue.
Saint Roley is fluttering about. Where's my parrot passport?
I've got it, says Belle. Now, who wants to pop down and say goodbye to Baldy?
Ah, says Gaius. Whoever's going, would they mind retrieving my beetle blood sample tissue? I was planning to show it to Simone, and I took it out of my back pack but she would keep on talking so I put it down on the coffee table, but failed to remember to pick it up as I was leaving.
Gaius! says Belle. It's a bloody tissue. How will that look to Simone! I'll go. Coming Terence?
Yes, says Terence. And I'm bringing my head.
I'll come too, says Saint Roley.
Belle knocks on the door of number 27. Simone opens.
Belle! says Simone. Come in. Baldy! Terence is here!
Baldy comes running. And stops.
Terence is holding the smiling head of the poodle. It must be a present.
Baldy holds out his arms for the present.
He's not dead, says Terence. He's getting mended.
I don't mind. I'll just have the head, says Baldy. You're my BEST cousin. You knew I didn't mean it.
Mean what? asks Terence.
That I didn't want it because it would make me sad, says Baldy. I do want it. It will remind me of our mission.
Well, says Terence, we really only came here to get Gaius's tissue.
Simone is getting Belle a glass of fresh orange juice.
Belle is looking around the room for Gaius's tissue.
How about you boys? says Simone. I have some cranberry cordial somewhere.
Terence and Baldy are negotiating poodle parts, and not listening.
Yes, says Belle. That's what they would like.
Saint Roley has spied a crumpled tissue under the coffee table.
He dives under, and draws it out with his beak.
Belle sees it, and is about to pick it up when Simone grabs it.
Oh how disgusting. says Simone. I'll get rid of it.
She runs to the bathroom and flushes the tissue down the toilet.
So much for that. Perhaps it was Gaius's tissue. Perhaps it wasn't. Belle doesn't feel like pursuing it now.
All right, says Terence. You can have the body. I'll have the head.
I want the head, says Baldy. It's always smiling.
At me, says Terence. He turns the head slightly.
Say goodbye boys, says Belle. You may not see one another for ages.
We haven't finished our drinks, says Terence.
Hurry, says Belle. We're catching the metro to the airport.
That will take forever, says Simone. Take the shuttle.
No kidding, says Belle. There's a shuttle?
Yes, from the Mistral direct to the airport, says Simone.
Great, says Belle. I'll check it out. Okay boys. This it it.
Goodbye cousin who I thought was the best cousin ever, but he wasn't, says Baldy.
OKAY! says Terence. Have it!
So Baldy gets the poodle head to help him remember that Terence was the best cousin ever.
Friday, December 1, 2017
The Smiling Head
Crash!
Belle wakes up.
Sweezus turns the light on.
It's the poodle, says Arthur. It's broken.
Who the hell put it there? mutters Sweezus.
I did, says Belle. Terence didn't like it in the corner. And watch where you're treading!
Terence has been watching in horror.
My poodle! cries Terence. It's DEAD.
It's not dead, says Belle. It's in pieces. We'll pick them all up and see if we can stick them back together.
Yeah, says Sweezus. Anyone got any glue?
Gaius always has bull glue, says Arthur. Or fish glue. The Romans used it.
Yeah, I know, says Sweezus. And it stinks.
I don't want my poodle to stink, says Terence.
What's up? says Saint Roley. What will stink?
NOTHING! says Terence. I don't want this to have happened!
The head of the poodle lies on the carpet, still smiling upwards and sideways, although upwards and sideways are not the same as they were.
The head of the poodle also doesn't want this to have happened.
But it isn't an option.
Where is Gaius? asks Sweezus.
Room 27, says Belle. If you're going, remind him we have to leave really early to catch the metro to Charles de Gaulle airport.
I'll go, says Arthur.
He goes.
Sweezus picks up pieces of poodle, and shoves them into a long cardboard tube.
Only the smiling head is too large to fit.
Terence sits on the floor and cradles the smiling head of his poodle.
Arthur knocks on the door of room 27.
No answer. He knocks louder.
What is it? says Simone, opening the door. Oh it's you! Gaius and I were just having a quiet drink and discussing the concept of authenticity. Well, I was.
I've come for some fish glue, says Arthur. Or bull.
Come in then, says Simone. Gaius! Arthur is here for some glue!
Arthur! says Gaius. Am I needed elsewhere?
No.... says Arthur. Terence's poodle is broken. We just need your glue.
That ugly poodle! says Simone. From the Flea Market? Why do you bother to fix it?
I wouldn't says Arthur.
Nor would I, says Simone. It was not authentic.
Even if it was, says Arthur, it's not now.
That may be, says Gaius, but no doubt Terence's feelings are authentic. I shall come at once, if Simone will excuse me.
But I was so looking forward to learning more about Australian shorebirds, says Simone.
Unfortunately we must cut short our evening, says Gaius. Thank you for your kindness and conversation, and your pleasant red wine. Good night, Simone.
Good night, Gaius, says Simone.
She contemplates Arthur. Should she perhaps offer......?
Good night, says Arthur.
The door shuts on Simone.
Phew! says Gaius. Shades of Margaret! Thanks, Arthur.
Belle wakes up.
Sweezus turns the light on.
It's the poodle, says Arthur. It's broken.
Who the hell put it there? mutters Sweezus.
I did, says Belle. Terence didn't like it in the corner. And watch where you're treading!
Terence has been watching in horror.
My poodle! cries Terence. It's DEAD.
It's not dead, says Belle. It's in pieces. We'll pick them all up and see if we can stick them back together.
Yeah, says Sweezus. Anyone got any glue?
Gaius always has bull glue, says Arthur. Or fish glue. The Romans used it.
Yeah, I know, says Sweezus. And it stinks.
I don't want my poodle to stink, says Terence.
What's up? says Saint Roley. What will stink?
NOTHING! says Terence. I don't want this to have happened!
The head of the poodle lies on the carpet, still smiling upwards and sideways, although upwards and sideways are not the same as they were.
The head of the poodle also doesn't want this to have happened.
But it isn't an option.
Where is Gaius? asks Sweezus.
Room 27, says Belle. If you're going, remind him we have to leave really early to catch the metro to Charles de Gaulle airport.
I'll go, says Arthur.
He goes.
Sweezus picks up pieces of poodle, and shoves them into a long cardboard tube.
Only the smiling head is too large to fit.
Terence sits on the floor and cradles the smiling head of his poodle.
Arthur knocks on the door of room 27.
No answer. He knocks louder.
What is it? says Simone, opening the door. Oh it's you! Gaius and I were just having a quiet drink and discussing the concept of authenticity. Well, I was.
I've come for some fish glue, says Arthur. Or bull.
Come in then, says Simone. Gaius! Arthur is here for some glue!
Arthur! says Gaius. Am I needed elsewhere?
No.... says Arthur. Terence's poodle is broken. We just need your glue.
That ugly poodle! says Simone. From the Flea Market? Why do you bother to fix it?
I wouldn't says Arthur.
Nor would I, says Simone. It was not authentic.
Even if it was, says Arthur, it's not now.
That may be, says Gaius, but no doubt Terence's feelings are authentic. I shall come at once, if Simone will excuse me.
But I was so looking forward to learning more about Australian shorebirds, says Simone.
Unfortunately we must cut short our evening, says Gaius. Thank you for your kindness and conversation, and your pleasant red wine. Good night, Simone.
Good night, Gaius, says Simone.
She contemplates Arthur. Should she perhaps offer......?
Good night, says Arthur.
The door shuts on Simone.
Phew! says Gaius. Shades of Margaret! Thanks, Arthur.
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