Hence The Gull

Captain Baudin brings out a tray of hot toddies.

He is wearing his sea captain's hat.

Your hat! says Gaius. That's why I didn't recognise you at once. 

I don't always wear it, says Baudin. 

Denis reaches out to take a hot toddy.

Not that one, says Captain Baudin. That's for Terence.

Denis takes another one, and sips it.

Gaius takes a third.

It tastes of mainly of lemon and honey.

Gaius coughs.

So does Denis.

Hot toddies are good for coughs, says Captain Baudin.

Will I cough? asks Terence.

We shall see, says Captain Baudin. Try this one. I made it specially.

Terence picks up his hot toddy and takes a big gulp.

Nothing happens.

He wishes it would.

A giant cough, louder than anyone else's. Or a giant fart, even better.

This is good, says Gaius. I hope you went light on the whisky.

Pas du tout, says Captain Baudin.

Denis makes a face that shows he knows what pas du tout means.

But is prepared to overlook any consequences.

He squints out to sea.

Is that Roo-kai flying towards them?

No it isn't. It's a gull, gliding on the wind gracefully.

He remembers that he has not heard back from Henriette.

What was she doing?

Something with a parachute. Dangerous. He ought to try and make contact.

Anyone care for another? asks Captain Baudin.

Me, says Terence. The first one's not working.

What were you expecting? asks Captain Baudin.

Coughing, says Terence.

That's the initial effect of the whisky, says Baudin. Which you didn't have. After that, it's supposed to stop coughing, not start it.

Useful, if the toxic bloom should arrive in Point Lowly, says Gaius. 

I'm keeping an eye out, says Captin Baudin. No toxic bloom yet.

Good news, says Gaius. Hear that, Denis?

But Denis is busy composing an email to Henriette:

I have just seen a gull, gliding. A lobster in a sea captain's hat made me a hot toddy. He lives in a light house. Hence the gull. I have not heard from you since you went skydiving. I try to imagine you landing.  Denis.

He thinks twice, three times, about watching her landing. 

She may not like him imagining her landing. 

No. 

He deletes the sentence about landing, before pressing send.

Hot Toddy

Do we know where Ageless will be? asks Denis.

Roo-kai will tell us, says Gaius.

And where will we be? asks Denis.

Wherever we are when he comes back to tell us, says Gaius.

They have just cycled past the turn-off to the Point Lowly Campground.

So, not there, says Denis. 

We may have to go back to the campground, says Gaius. But for now I suggest we keep going.

They cycle past the turn-off to the Point Lowly Marina.

But they have not seen or heard from Rookai.

So they keep going.

I see a lighthouse! says Terence.

Ah! says Gaius. That may be where Ageless is waiting.

They cycle towards the Point Lowly Lighthouse.

Arrive. Dismount. Lean their bikes against the curved white wall of the lighthouse.

Ageless! shouts Terence.

Who is it that wants him? rasps a French lobstery voice. 

We are his friends, says Denis. We want him.

I too am his friend, says the French lobstery voice.

The voice comes round to the front of the lighthouse.

It's Captain Nicolas Baudin.

Don't I know you? asks Gaius.

And don't I know you? says Captain Baudin.

Gaius Secundus. says Gaius. Natural historian.  I know several lobsters , but they all look the same.

I DO know you, says Captain Baudin. I am Captain Nicolas Baudin. We met on Kangaroo Island. You left me a parrot.

Baudin! says Gaius. Well met, my friend. Yes I remember that parrot.

Was it my parrot? asks Terence.

Yes it was, says Captain Baudin. It was called Baby-Glossy. I taught it some French.

Did I ask you to? asks Terence.

Un mot of French, laughs Baudin. I was supposed to be teaching it English. Is it still with you? I suppose it's no longer a baby.

It's no longer a parrot, says Terence. 

Mort? says Captain Baudin. 

No longer a mort, says Terence. If that means alive.

It means dead, says Denis. Let's not get caught up in verbal nonsense. Have you seen Ageless?

Yes, says Captain Baudin. I met him on the beach and we chatted. He was waiting for you to arrive.

We have arrived, says Gaius. 

I invited him to dinner, says Captain Baudin. So he should be here shortly.

Should we wait? asks Gaius.

Certainly, come inside, says Captain Baudin. I'll make some hot toddies.

Then Roo-kai won't see us, says Terence.

Sit out here on this bench, says Captain Baudin. I'll bring the hot toddies outside.

Do I get one? asks Terence.

Oh-ho! Non! says Captain Baudin. Maybe yes, without the whisky.

Gaius looks at Denis.

They are here to do science.

Do they want a hot toddy with whisky?

Denis looks like he does.

Okay fine. If it's hot the alcohol will evaporate anyway, won't it.

One Boring Emu

Gaius and Denis are cycling back from the shops with the shopping.

I look forward to trying the Trail Mix, says Gaius.

He says this because Denis has bought Trail Mix, something Gaius would not have considered, on his own.

It's nuts and seeds mainly, says Denis. And small chunks of dried friut. 

Very good, says Gaius. Let's hope the dried fruit's not dried apples.

What if it is? asks Denis.

We have apples, says Gaius.

It's probably raisins, says Denis. As I recall, some things were dark brown.

We shall see, says Gaius. I'm quite partial to raisins.

So am I, says Denis. Not so partial to dried apples.

Indeed, says Gaius. They dip them in something.

To stop them becoming discoloured, says Denis. But it alters the taste.

They have arrived at the beach next to the marina.

Terence and Roo-kai are waiting.

What did you buy? asks Terence.

Apples, cheese, Trail Mix, says Gaius. 

I was right, says Terence. Except for the muffin.

I guessed the cheese, says Roo-kai.

But you didn't guess Trail Mix, says Gaius.

We would have, says Terence. If we knew what it was.

A conversation ensues which shall remain unrecorded.

Suffice to say it covers ground previously covered

(regarding the nature of Trail Mix). 

Right, time to head to Point Lowly, says Gaius.

Which way? asks Denis.

That way, says Gaius pointing to the Point Lowly Road.

Meet you there, says Roo-kai. I'll let Ageless know that you're coming.

He flies off in the direction of Point Lowly.

Roo-kai had a bellyache, says Terence.

Did he ? says Gaius. I hope he didn't eat a dead mollusc.

He burped and got better when he said cheese, says Terence.

An interesting cure, says Denis. 

They set out for Point Lowly, Terence in Gaius's backpack.

The road passes through dense mallee, saltbush, salt pans and low coastal scrub.

Gaius spots a kite and an eagle.

Denis spots a few kangaroos.

Terence spots nothing.

Except for one boring emu.

O-ish-et?

Roo-kai has started searching for molluscs.

Leaving Terence, singing his song.

Terence has stood up to find out if his song is working.

He would know if it was.

The sea would be teeming with fish escaping the sharks who were obeying the song.

But it isn't.

Roo-kai returns with a mollusc.

O-ish-et? asks Roo-kai.

What? says Terence.

Roo-kai cracks open the mollusc and swallows its soft parts.

No fish yet? asks Roo-kai.

No, says Terence.

Burp! says Roo-kai.

Maybe you shouldn't have swallowed it, says Terence. 

It was tasty, says Roo-kai. But in a weird way.

Sit down and relax, says Terence.

Roo-kai sits down on the sand. and stares out to sea.

His tummy feels active.

Don't worry, says Terence. Parrots don't die.

Roo-kai could reply to this statement: Several of yours have. 

But he doesn't.

Terence looks back towards the steps.

I wonder if Gaius and Denis have finished the shopping, says Terence.

Buuuurp! replies Roo-kai.

Let's guess what they're buying, says Terence. I'll go first. Apples.

Cheese, says Roo-kai.

You're better! says Terence.

Yes, Rookai is feeling better. If you can speak of cheese without gagging, you must be.

Muffins, says Terence. 

His face falls. He shouldn't have said that. 

His last parrot was a muffin.

Wasn't your last parrot a muffin? asks Roo-kai.

Yikes! Yes it was. And it ended up in the compost, with a hole in its face.

Terence will have to think fast or else Roo-kai will be correct and might die of eating the mollusc because it will be possible.

Wait. It was only a muffin. Not a real parrot. 

Which proves it.

That proves it, says Terence.

Roo-kai is happy enough to accept that it does.

O Come Sharks

We should buy some supplies before we set off for Point Lowly, says Gaius.

I've got mine already, says Terence. I've still got my can of Red Bull.

Good, says Gaius. That's one thing we won't need to purchase.

So I don't have to come shopping, says Terence.

What will you do instead? asks Gaius.

Sing to the sharks, says Terence.

What an idea, says Denis. 

It's a nice idea, says Roo-kai. Terence and I will spend time on the beach while you do your shopping.

Very well, says Gaius. We'll drop you there, on our way. 

Yay! says Terence. 

Gaius lifts Terence into his backpack

Gaius and Denis cycle to the nearest beach, which is close by the marina.

Gaius drops Terence off at the spot where Roo-kai is waiting.

You fly fast, says Terence.

I know, says Roo-kai. Let's go down to the beach.

Terence goes down the steps and runs over the sand to the water.

He sits down on a hard ripple of sand.

O come sharks O come, sings Terence. 

A woman with a small child who is walking past looks disapproving.

O come sharks ! sings her small child, who may be small, but is big enough to sing.

That song is inappropriate, says the woman. We don't wan't sharks to come, we want them to stay out of the way.

Stay out of the way, sings Terence.

Stay out  of the way, sings the small child.

That's better, says the woman. She walks away with her child, who does not hear the next part of Terence's song.

Until you round up some fishies, sings Terence. Then chase them in.

That is probably something like what the Barngarla people would have sung, says Roo-kai. Except not in English.

And not 'stay out of the way', says Terence. I only sang that because of the lady.

It was good you did though, says Roo-kai. She might have reported you for trying to attract sharks.

I got myself out of trouble, says Terence.

Which is always a good thing, says Roo-kai.

But her kid learned a stupid song, says Terence.

O come sharks stay out of the way.

Maybe she'll make the kid change the first part, says Roo-kai.

The best part, says Terence.

Yes it is, says Roo-kai.

Terence tries to think what the lady might make her kid change the first part to.

O go sharks?

O ho sharks?

O hey?

A Complex Philsophical Position

Of course, the answer is clear, says Gaius.

We'll get Ageless to ask for permission, says Denis.

What if he doesn't obtain it? asks Roo-kai. If I were a cuttlefish, would I entrust my eggs to a strange lobster?

Would you? asks Terence.

No, says Roo-kai. I wouldn't even entrust them to me.

Why? asks Terence.

He would eat them, says Denis. 

Roo-kai can't eat them, says Terence. He's the cuttlefish.

True, I did say that, says Roo-kai. I was attempting to put myself in the shoes of the cuttlefish while remaining in the shoes of myself.

A complex philosophical position, says Denis.

What are the shoes like? asks Terence.

They're not real shoes, says Roo-kai.

That's a more comfy position, says Terence.

We'll sort it out with Ageless when we get to Point Lowly, says Gaius. Meanwhile, are we finished here?

We haven't seen Singing To The Sharks, says Denis.

I'd like to see that, says Roo-kai.

They enter the Singing To The Sharks room.

Many years ago the Barngarla people, who are shark people, used to sing to the sharks.

This was to encourage the sharks to drive shoals of fish towards the shore, where the people could catch them.

But the language of the Barngarla people died out in the 1960s.

How fascinating, says Gaius. A linguist has offered to help them reconstruct the language.

I wonder how that's going, says Denis.

Great White Teacher speaks English, says Terence.

I doubt he's involved in this project, says Gaius.

The Barngarla had three words for Great White Shark, says Denis, reading further.

Sweezus has more than three words for Great White Teacher, says Terence.

I'm sure he does, says Gaius. Well, that was all very interesting. But now we should go.

Yes, it's time they were going.

Gaius, Denis and Terence climb down the ladder.

Old News

Terence is standing on the deck of the HMAS Whyalla, looking out to sea.

It's not very convincing, the sea.

Because there are trees, roads and buildings floating on it.

Not floating properly.

A bird is flying towards him.

He waves to the bird. The bird lands at his feet.

It's Roo-kai.

Roo-kai! says Terence. Guess what this is?

A Maritime Museum, says Roo-kai.

A ship, says Terence. But it's not in the sea. We had to climb up a ladder. And guess what else?

What? asks Roo-kai.

There's a model railway, says Terence.

In the ship? says Roo-kai.

Yes, says Terence. It's got five kinds of trains.

I didn't know there were five kinds of trains, says Roo-kai. How are they different?

I don't remember, says Terence. But one carries irons.

Iron ore? asks Rookai.

Or... something else, says Terence. 

I see, says Roo-kai. Where are Gaius and Denis?

Down inside the ship, says Terence. Reading some Flinters.

I have a message for them, says Roo-kai.

Let's go and give them the message, says Terence.

He heads down a few steps to a room that has tables, benches and hammocks.

Those are hammocks, says Terence. Want to try one?

No thanks, says Roo-kai. 

You might fall out, says Terence.

I wouldn't, says Roo-kai.

They continue through the ship until they reach the room where Gaius and Denis are perusing Flinders' Journals.

Are you still reading the Flinters? asks Terence.

Flinders, says Gaius. Matthew Flinders. His journals. Oh, hello Roo-kai.

Flinders' Journals, says Roo-kai. Let me see.

He looks at the date. 1814.

Old news.

I have a message from Ageless, says Roo-kai. He's waiting for you at Point Lowly.

Jumping Jupiter! says Gaius. How did he get there?

In a dingy rowed by Louis-Claude de Freycinet, says Roo-kai.

I might have known, says Gaius. 

He's already made contact with a giant cuttlefish who showed him where her eggs are, says Roo-kai.

Ah! says Gaius. Did you hear that, Denis?

Yes, says Denis. Do we expect Ageless to betray her? That doesn't seem ethical.

Indeed, we must think it through, says Gaius. After all our intentions are honourable, but this is a complication.

What are you talking about? asks Terence.

Whether it's right to take something from someone you know, as opposed to someone you don't know, says Denis.

Put that way, the answer seems clear.

Correct Deductions

Ageless drifts towards the dinghy.

Louis-Claude spots him.

There's Ageless now, says Louis-Claude.

Hello, Ageless, says Rookai. 

Ageless clambers aboard the dinghy.

Why are you here? asks Ageless.

I was always coming, says Roo-kai. But where are the others?

Still in Whyalla, says Ageless. I see you've met Louis-Claude.

I thought he was you for a moment, says Roo-kai.

He did, says Louis-Claude. That's why he landed on my dinghy.

Otherwise, I would have missed you, says Roo-kai. 

Yes, I've been underwater, says Ageless.

In your sunglasses, says Roo-kai.

What of it? says Ageless. 

Did you see the air bubble curtain? asks Roo-kai.

No, says Ageless, but I met a giant cuttlefish and she showed me where her eggs are.

Did you arrange anything? asks Roo-kai.

Not yet, says Ageless. I'm waiting for the others. They'll be coming this evening. 

We'd planned a short voyage, says Louis-Claude. I was rowing. We were chatting, and somehow we ended up here.

So! says Roo-kai.

So what? says Ageless.

Gaius and Denis don't know you're at Point Lowly, says Roo-kai.

Errr... no, says Ageless. 

I'll row us back, says Louis-Claude.

I could fly back and inform them, says Roo-kai. Will they be at the marina?

That's where Denis dropped me, says Ageless.

Then I'll save you a journey, says Roo-kai.

Not me, says Louis-Claude. I must return anyway.

Why not stay? says Ageless.

I have my reasons, says Louis-Claude.

Go then, says Ageless. I'll wait here at Point Lowly. I could do with a rest.

He drops over the side of the dinghy, and makes for the shore.

Louis-Claude turns the dinghy and starts rowing back to Whyalla.

Roo-kai flies back to the marina, where no one is waiting. 

Where could they be?

He scans the local streets, and Hummock Hill.

No one except a few locals.

He sees a ship raised above ground two kilometres inland. The Maritime Museum.

And deduces (correctly) that's where they will be. 

It Is Written

Louis-Claude has rowed Ageless all the way to Point Lowly.

Alors! says Louis-Claude. 

What is it? asks Ageless, aroused from a most pleasant torpor.

We have arrived at Point Lowly, says Louis-Claude. 

Then I may as well look around, says Ageless. Get my bearings. 

I should row you back to the marina, says Louis-Claude.

Plenty of time, says Ageless. Shall I drop over the side here?

All right, says Louis-Claude. I'll take a breather.

Ageless drops over the side of the dinghy.

A giant cuttlefish swims up from behind.

Hello stranger, says the giant cuttlefish.

Hello beautiful, says Ageless.

Come for the fun? asks the giant cuttlefish.

Maybe later, says Ageless. Right now I'm just looking.

I could show you around, says the giant cuttlefish. I'm not busy.

Don't you have eggs to lay? asks Ageless.

Already done it, says the giant cuttlefish. Want to see them?

Don't they all look the same? asks Ageless.

Yes they all look the same, says the giant cuttlefish. That's eggs for you. 

May as well take a look, says Ageless. I'm Lobster Guy, by the way.

Sepia apama, says the giant cuttlefish.

Aren't you all sepia apama? asks Ageless.

What's wrong with that? asks the giant cuttlefish.

It was years ago now, says Ageless, but I used to  know one called the Twitcher.

The Twitcher? asks the giant cuttlefish. Not THE Twitcher?

Probably, says Ageless. He nearly died, but was rescued and then went to Kas to meet his beloved where he did die or so we suspected.

We cuttlefish don't live long, says the giant cuttlefish.

So I've heard says Ageless. You die before your eggs hatch. So how come you've heard of the Twitcher?

It is written, says the giant cuttlefish.

Ageless is impressed wih this answer.

They have arrived at a reef.

Here we are, says the giant cuttlefish. These are my eggs, or .... maybe these are. 

She indicates several clutches of eggs, close to one another.

Exquisite, says Ageless. Thank you. Well I must go up now, my friend awaits, in his dinghy.

Will you come back, Lobster Guy? asks the giant cuttlefish.

I'll be sure to, says Ageless.

He rises to the surface, and looks around. 

Where is Louis-Claude?

There he is, some way off, talking to a bird that has landed on the bow of his dinghy.

The bird has black and white feathers, and thin orange legs, and could be Roo-kai. 

It's not so unlikely.

What Egg?

Louis-Claude de Freycinet likes the idea of the egg box, with its circular door.

How many cuttlefish eggs do you expect to fit in it? he asks Ageless.

A dozen or so, says Ageless.

A good number, says Louis-Claude. What will you do if the cuttlefish see you?

Do you think they will care? asks Ageless.

Probably not, says Louis-Claude. I've heard they die before their eggs hatch.

But you've raised an important question, says Ageless. 

Which is? says Louis-Claude.

Should I act in secret or out in the open? says Ageless.

You tend to stand out in those sunglasses, says Louis-Claude.

I plan to wear them as goggles, underwater, says aGeless.

He pulls the sunglasses down, to sit over his eyes.

He has not tried this before.

Arrg! He is blinded.

Perhaps not, says Ageless. I can't see a thing through these lenses.

It's not the lenses, says Louis-Claude. Your eyes are on stalks, and the sunglasses have bent them.

Ageless raises the sunglasses and settles them back on the top of his head.

Clik! He can see again.

It matters not, says Ageless. I'll come up with a story to explain what I'm doing.

Louis-Claude stops rowing.

Imagine I'm a cuttlefish, says Louis-Claude. I've come up behind you as you're stealing an egg.

All right, says Ageless. This will be good practice.

He mimes stealing an egg.

What are you doing, Monsieur Lobster Guy? asks Louis-Claude. 

How do you know my name? asks Ageless, feigning surprise.

I don't, says Louis-Claude. You just look like a Lobster Guy, wearing sunglasses underwater.

They're my goggles, says Ageless, but I can't wear them as goggles because they bend my eye stalks.

You should try adjusting your strap, says Louis-Claude.

We are straying off topic, says Ageless.

Pardon, says Louis-Claude. Tell me, what are you planning to do with that egg?

What egg? asks Ageless, miming dropping the egg surreptitiously into an egg box.

Trés bien, says Louis-Claude. And then I swim off, thinking I must have imagined it.

Success!

Ageless nods, leans back in the dinghy and relaxes.

Louis-Claude keeps on rowing.

Exactement!

Denis arrives at the lookout.

What time are we picking up Ageless? asks Gaius.

He didn't specify, says Denis.

That could be a problem, says Gaius.

He's not likely to go anywhere, says Denis.

What if he goes for a sail? asks Terence.

As he could well do, says Gaius.

What's this about? asks Denis. Is Ageless a sailor?

No, says Gaius. But a lot of his friends are old sea captains.

You should have told me, says Denis. I would have made sure we agreed on a time.

What do you think of the view? asks Gaius.

Spectacular, says Denis.

It's better through the blue frame, says Terence.

Denis looks at the view through the blue frame.

It's no different, says Denis. Why put a frame here?

Good question, says Gaius. 

Denis keeps looking.  

A small dingy makes its way out of the marina, turns right and disappears under the circular jetty.

Denis wonders if Ageless is in it.

Who'd like to visit the Maritime Museum? asks Gaius. 

Not me, says Terence. Museums are boring.

You'd like this one, says Gaius. It's inside a ship, the HMAS Whyalla, and 2 metres up off the ground.

Yikes! says Terence. Why isn't it in the water?

They moved it inland to turn it into a museum, says Gaius. To enter, you have to climb up a ladder.

Okay, says Terence. I want to go.

Coming Denis? asks Gaius.

Coming, says Denis. 

He has just seen the dingy emerge on the far side of the jetty and keep going.

And although he can't see him, Ageless is in it.

Louis-Claude de Freycinet is rowing.

You're a strong rower, says Ageless.

C'est rien! I could row you all the way to Point Lowly, if necessary, says Louis-Claude.

No need for that, says Ageless, leaning back and relaxing.

His sunglasses tip backwards, but don't fall off, thanks to the strap.

Why do you wear your sunglasses that way? asks Louis-Claude.

Long story, says Ageless. I was promised a red hat. 

I wondered where your red hat was, says Louis-Claude.

Lost, says Ageless. So my colleagues clubbed together and bought me these sunglasses.

I like the red frames, says Louis-Claude.

Terence calls me Lobster Guy, says Ageless. You remember Terence?

How could I forget Terence, says Louis-Claude. Lobster Guy, eh? That's a good one.

I'm adopting it as my alias, says Ageless.

In case of what? asks Louis-Claude.

Getting into trouble, sys Ageless. My mission is dangerous.

Louis-Claude stops rowing.

Tell me more, says Louis-Claude.

I shouldn't, says Ageless.

Out here there are no walls with ears, says Louis-Claude.

Only because there are no walls, says Ageless.

Exactement! says Louis-Claude.

Ageless relents.

He starts by describing the egg box.

Refuse the Sardine

Now to climb Hummock Hill, says Gaius. There'll be a good view from there.

But I didn't get anything, says Terence.

You didn't ask for anything, says Gaius. 

Would you like a red drink? says Denis. I'll buy you a can.

Yes! says Terence.

Denis goes across to the counter and buys a can of Red Bull.

Have I had this before? asks Terence.

Yes, but you spilled it, says Gaius. 

This time I'll be careful, says Terence.

They leave the café, unlock the bikes and head for Hummock Hill.

It is easy to spot, because it looks like a hummock.

Terence is in Gaius's back pack with the can of Red Bull unopened.

Ageless is in Denis's back pack.

All right back there? asks Denis.

Actually no, says Ageless. I need a dip in the sea.

Drop him at the marina, says Gaius. We'll pick him up later.

All right, says Denis, taking a turn towards the marina.

Gaius continues pedalling up Hummock Hill.

Are we there yet? asks Terence.

Almost, says Gaius. And I see something you'll like.

What? asks Terence.

A viewing frame, says Gaius. 

He stops at the viewing frame.

It is a large blue painted frame, through which you can see Whyalla's Unique Jetty.

Gaius lifts Terence onto the lower edge of the frame.

See the jetty? says Gaius. 

I see boats, says Terence.

That's the marina, says Gaius. Can you see Ageless?

No but I bet he can see me, says Terence, lifting both arms and waving.

But in fact, Ageless can't.

He has met an old lobster friend down at the marina.

Ageless! cries Louis-Claude de Freycinet. What brings you here?

Bonjour, capitaine! says Ageless. I might ask you the same.

I have a soft spot for Whyalla, says Louis-Claude de Freycinet. I have long admired the scenery.

To each his own, says Ageless. As for me, I'm on my way to Point Lowly.

I wouldn't go there at this time of year, says Louis-Claude. The cuttlefish take over.

That's why I'm going, says Ageless.

They've erected an air bubble curtain, says Louis-Claude.

I'll get around it, says Ageless.

Is that your intention? asks Louis-Claude.

I'm working with Gaius, says Ageless. He has his own agenda. And I'll be using an alias.

You intrigue me, says Louis-Claude. Come aboard and tell me more about it.  

You have a boat here? asks Ageless.

Just a dinghy, says Louis-Claude, but it serves my purpose.

He leads Ageless to his dinghy, the Casuarina.

Named for old times, says Louis-Claude. 

They scramble aboard.

Sardine? asks Louis-Claude.

No thanks I've just eaten two waffles, says Ageless. 

Everything All at Once

They wheel their bikes down to the foreshore.

They find a café, lock up their bikes, and go inside.

Waffles! says Denis. 

He has seen someone eating waffles.

Waffles dripping with syrup, and oozing fresh cream.

What say we order waffles? asks Denis.

Gaius would not normally order waffles, but it has been a long journey. 

And coffee, says Gaius. 

Okay says Denis. Waffles and coffee.

You're paying for my coffee, says Gaius.

I haven't forgotten, says Denis.

He goes off to the counter

What about the magic workshop? asks Terence.

Stanley said it might be next week, says Gaius.

MIGHT, says Terence. It might be today.

There are posters over there in the corner, says Gaius. There could be one about the magic workshop.

I'll go and see, says Terence.

He heads to the corner.

Go with him, Ageless, says Gaius.

I was hoping for a waffle, says Ageless.

The waffles wil be here when you return, says Gaius.

If you say so, says Ageless.

He hitches his sunglasses further back on his head, and makes his way to the corner.

It this it? asks Terence.

Magic and Mayhem, reads Ageless. 

What's mayhem? asks Terence.

Chaos, says Ageless.

Wow! says Terence. What's chaos?

Everything all at once, says Ageless.

How is that magic? asks Terence.

It's not, says Ageless. It says Magic AND Mayhem. 

Wow! says Terence. When is it?

In ten days time, says Ageless.

Boo! says Terence. We'll be in Point Lowly.

It's not far away, says Ageless. You might make it to the magic workshop if you play your cards right.

Terence doesn't know how to play cards. 

And he thinks Gaius probably doesn't. But Denis might.

Let's go back and tell them, says Terence.

They return to the table just as the waffles are arriving.

Two plates, each with a stack of three waffles. 

Where's mine? asks Ageless.

You may have my top waffle, says Gaius. Go first.

Ageless takes the top waffle, and eats it.

Did you find the relevant poster? asks Gaius.

No, says Terence. But I need to learn how to play cards.

It was something I said, says Ageless, reaching for a second waffle.

Cards? says Gaius. There'll be no time for cards.We'll be climbing Hummock Hill and then visiting the Maritime Museum.

Yes, says Denis. But in the evening we'll be camping. We could teach Terence how to play cards.

I suppose so, says Gaius. Do we have any?

No, says Denis. But we could theoretically. By the way, did you know Ageless has eaten two of your waffles?

Oops! says Ageless. 

Never mind, says Gaius. Three waffles is an over-indulgence. Two perhaps less so. But one is the ideal number.

Quite right, says Denis. May I offer you my last waffle?

He doesn't want it, says Terence. Didn't you listen?

Gaius, who would have liked a second waffle, now has to think twice.

I Will Say It's Black

The Stateliner bus draws closer to Whyalla.

We should be there soon, says Gaius.

I look forward to arriving, says Denis. I assume it's a city.

Indeed, says Gaius. With plenty to see.

Shall we spend some time there before cycling to Point Lowly? asks Denis.

We have the whole afternoon, says Gaius.

It's already two thirty, says Denis. 

True, says Gaius, but we'll have enough time to enjoy Whyalla.

Denis looks out of the window. 

He thinks he can see Whyalla. Low grey buildings, a tower, an oval, and hills in the distance.

That will be Whyalla, says Gaius. 

I thought so, says Denis. 

Four minutes later, Stanley pulls up in Whyalla.

Terence runs forward.

Are we there yet?

Yes, says Gaius. Tell Ageless we're going to get off.

Terence runs back to tell Ageless.

We have to get off!

I know, says Ageless, just give me a minute.

He has been communing with Kobo.

clik-clik,,, I must get off the bus now my sweetness,,,,

mm m which means you're in whyalla.

clik-clik,,, think of me clambering down from the high bus step

mm m how will you do it without losing your sunglasses?

clik-clik,,, I now have a strap,,, you would like it

mm m describe your strap

clik-clik,,, later my creamball, it seems we're in a hurry

o mm

clik-clik,,, well I will say it's black

Ageless drops onto the floor of the bus.

Good dropping! says Terence. 

Ageless makes his way forward.

Terence jumps off the bus.

Ageless drops after him.

Well done, says Gaius. 

Stanley gets off the bus and opens the side panels, to take out the luggage.

Two bikes, present and correct, says Stanley. Enjoy your stay in Whyalla. 

Thank you, says Gaius. We're only here till this evening, then we're off to Point Lowly.

Ah yes, says Stanley. The cuttlefish. You do know you can't...?

Yes we do know, says Gaius. That's why we've brought Ageless.

Lobster Guy, says Terence.

Any suggestions as to how we could spend the afternoon? asks Denis. 

Oh there's plenty to do in Whyalla, says Stanley. You're spoiled for choice really. You could climb Hummock Hill and look at the view. Walk out on the circular jetty. Then there's the Maritime Museum and I think I heard something about a magic workshop, but that may be next week.

I want to go to the magic workshop, says Terence. 

It may be next week says Gaius. 

He wishes Stanley hadn't mentioned the magic workshop.

Now they'll never hear the end of it.

Blue Bee Bottle Bus

Terence is sitting at the back of the bus with Ageless.

This has been a long journey.

Are we....begins Terence.

No, says Ageless. We're not there yet. And why ask me?

Because you can see out of the window, says Terence.

So can you, says Ageless.

But I'm not looking, says Terence.

Look, says Ageless. 

I don't know what Whyalla looks like, says Terence.

Not like this, says Ageless. 

Terence looks out of the window to see what Whyalla doesn't look like.

Long and brown and flat with low bushes, no trees, and a straight railway line close to the road.

Is Whyalla the opposite? asks Terence.

In a way, says Ageless. There are buildings, and a port. Some things are the same.

Terence hopes that he doesn't mean the long brownness.

Want to play Cannot But Be? asks Terence.

No, says Ageless. I just want to relax.

You can play and relax at the same time, says Terence. What about I Spy?

Okay, says Ageless. You go first.

I spy something that's brown, says Terence.

Everything, says Ageless.

Correct, says Terence. Now it's your turn.

I spy something starting with B, says Ageless.

That's not a colour, says Terence.

Blue is, says Ageless.

Now you've told me! says Terence.

But it's not the right answer, says Ageless.

You're cheating, says Terence. You can't have two goes.

I'm not having two goes, says Ageless. You just haven't got it. 

Bee? says Terence.

Yes, B,  says Ageless.

 I got it! says Terence.

That's not the answer, says Ageless. That's the question.

Are we playing Cannot But Be? asks Terence.

I'm not, says Ageless. What else starts with B?

Bumhole, says Terence.

It has to be something I can see, says Ageless.

Bottle, says Terence.

Where is the bottle? asks Ageless.

Terence realises that he can't see a bottle. So Ageless probably can't see a bottle.

Give me a clue, says Terence.

 We're in it, says Ageless.

In the clue? says Terence. 

That IS the clue, says Ageless. We're not IN it.

I give up, says Terence.

BUS! says Ageless.

You said we weren't in it, says Terence.

I said we were, says Ageless.

Yes he did say that, before he said the opposite.

Terence always knew Ageless was tricky.

His Bad Side

What time do we arrive in Whyalla? asks Denis.

About two thirty, says Gaius.

And then what? asks Denis.

Cycle out to Point Lowly, says Gaius. 

Are there hotels there? asks Denis.

I doubt it, says Gaius. But the weather is warming. 

You mean we'll be camping? says Denis.

I usually camp, says Gaius. It's cheaper. And more in tune with nature.

There is that, agrees Denis.

He is now not looking forward to arriving in Whyalla as much as he had been.

He checks his emails to see if Henriette has replied.

She has:

I don't believe you about the lobster. And yes I enjoyed the Brisbane Festival thanks for not asking. I'm now about to go skydiving. Send me a photo of this lobster, IF YOU CAN. 

Denis is glad that he has a photo of Ageless on his phone.

He sends it to Henriette, with his reply:

This is Ageless lobster, a back view. He is wearing a strap to hold his sunglasses on, and cover his crack. I have bought a similar strap as I like the logo. Skydiving? Happy landings.

He presses send. And five minutes later receives a reply:

Thanks for the photo of the back of the lobster. I acknowledge his existence. Does he know you can still see his crack? Thanks for the good wishes x

Phew! says Denis aloud.

What is it? asks Gaius.

I nearly blew it with Henriette, says Denis. I suspect she thinks I think that it's all about me.

With good reason? asks Gaius.

I must have given that impression, says Denis. I forgot to ask if she enjoyed the Brisbane Festival. 

It's never too late, says Gaius.

It may be. She's going skydiving, says Denis.

You must remember to ask her if she enjoyed it, says Gaius.

Yes I must, says Denis. At least I was able to prove to her that Ageless existed.

How did you do that? asks Gaius. 

Sent her a photo, says Denis. One I took when he wanted to see how the strap looked from the back.

May I see it? asks Gaius.

Denis shows him the photo.

You can still see the crack, says Gaius.

That's what she said, says Denis. But Ageless didn't notice.

Good, says Gaius. It seems he is willing to work for us. We don't want to get on his bad side.

His bad side? asks Denis.

They both look again at the photo.

Plausible Goggles

Gaius is finishing his sandwich, when Denis and Ageless come back.

I see you found a sunglasses strap, says Gaius.

I bought two, says Denis. 

A bargain, says Ageless.

A good bargain, says Denis. One strap for ten, two for fifteen.

So there'll be a spare if I lose one, says Ageless.

It's not for you, says Denis. I thought I could use it.

My mistake, says Ageless. But we'll look like we're twins.

I doubt that, says Denis. So Gaius, you owe me five dollars, for half Ageless's strap.

Three dollars seventy-five, I should have thought, says Gaius. Half of seven fifty.

You're good at adding, says Terence.

That was dividing, says Gaius. But yes, I am. Especially when it comes to spending money.

Ageless's strap cost ten dollars, says Denis. Mine cost five dollars extra. That was my thinking.

Denis is REALLY good at adding, says Terence.

And taking advantage, says Gaius.

Come on Gaius, says Denis. What say we go halves in the lot?

What? says Gaius. Then I'd owe you seven dollars fifty!

But the second strap would be half yours, says Denis.

Who says I want it? asks Gaius. Oh all right. 

He takes a ten dollar note out of his wallet.

Thanks, says Denis. But I don't have any change.

Owe me a coffee, says Gaius. 

A coffee! says Denis. Now you're the one taking advantage.....

Beep-beep!

Stanley is beeping the horn of the Stateliner.

Time to get back on the bus.

They exit the Reddy Express, and climb back on board.

Even Ageless, who can now keep his sunglasses in place with the strap, should not have a problem.

But he does.

Let me help you, says Gaius. It's quite a big step.

Thank you, says Ageless. 

Are you planning to wear the sunglasses underwater? asks Gaius. 

Yes, says Ageless. And if a cuttlefish makes a commernt I'll say that they're my goggles.

What a plausible answer, says Gaius.

The Tightness Of SIN

I'm going to look for a strap, says Ageless.

I'll go with you, says Denis. I've finished my pie.

Sunglasses are usually near the counter, says Gaius.

I know that, says Denis.

Ageless heads for the sunglasses stand.

Denis follows.

See any straps? asks Ageless. 

How about this black one? says Denis, unhooking a strap.

I was thinking of a thin one, says Ageless.

There aren't any thin ones, says Denis. And a wide one is better.

Ageless doesn't ask Denis why a wide one is better. 

He knows what he would say.

Let me try it, says Ageless.

Give me your sunglasses, says Denis.

Ageless takes off his sunglasses and gives them to Denis.

Denis fits the ends of the strap to the sunglasses, and returns them to Ageless.

Ageless puts them on.

How do I look? asks Ageless.

There is a mirror on the sunglasses stand. 

I'll lift you, says Denis.

He lifts Ageless up to the mirror.

Put me down! says Ageless. 

The Reddy Express assistant leans over the counter.

What are you doing with that lobster? asks the Reddy Express assistant.

He wants to see how he looks with the strap, says Denis.

Ageless is still up at counter level, because Denis has not put him down.

You'll have to pay for that strap, says the Reddy Express assistant.

This gentleman will be paying, says Ageless. But only if I decide that I want them. And right now I can't see the back.

It doesn't matter about the back, says the Reddy Express assistant.

It does to him, says Denis. He needs it to cover a crack.

So why not take a photo, says the Reddy Express assistant.

Excellent idea, says Ageless. 

Denis puts Ageless down and takes out his phone.

Ageless turns around.

Denis snaps his back view and shows the photo to Ageless.

What's that on the strap? asks Ageless. 

The brand name, says the Reddy Express assistant.

SIN? says Ageless. Since when is that a brand name?

They're from the Gold Coast, says the Reddy Express assistant.

Ageless is sold. The straps are from the Gold Coast. The brand name is SIN. That's two plusses already. And they feel nice and tight round the back.

How much? asks Denis.

Ten dollars, says the Reddy Express assistant. Or two for fifteen.

We'll take two, says Denis. 

New Crack

Thud. Crack.

Ageless hits the ground.

All right down there? calls Stanley.

It was further down than I expected, says Ageless.

Kid ran off, says Stanley. I should've warned you.

He should have warned me, says Ageless. 

Anything broken? asks Stanley. Sunglasses stay on?

The sunglasses have fallen forward on an angle.

Ageless takes them off. No cracks in the sunglasses.

This is good news and bad news. 

Because we all heard a crack.

He replaces the sunglasses on top of his head and heads to the Reddy Express.

Terence is standing at the entrance.

Sorry, says Terence. I stopped bending too early.

You did, says Ageless. But I got down from the bus without incident. 

Your sunglasses didn't even fall off, says Terence.

They tipped forward, says Ageless. I'm considering a strap.

To hold them on? asks Terence.

In extreme situations, says Ageless. By the way, would you do me a favour?

Okay, says Terence.

Check me for cracks, says Ageless.

Terence checks Ageless for cracks.

You've got cracks everywhere, says Terence.

Those are normal cracks, says Ageless. We lobsters need them for movement.

Why don't I have cracks? asks Terence.

You're probably covered in fine cracks, says Ageless.

Check me, says Terence.

No, this is about me, says Ageless. Do you see any new cracks in my carapace?

Terence looks again.

That might be a new one, says Terence. 

He touches the crack.

Is it a big one? asks Ageless. 

No, a little one , says Terence. And it's right at the back. No one will see it.

Everyone will see it, says Ageless. And I'm not due to moult for some time.

Let's ask Gaius, says Terence. He's eating a sandwich.

They go over to where Gaius is eating a sandwich and Denis a hot pie. 

Ageless had an accident, says Terence.

Minor, says Ageless. But I have a new crack.

Denis stifles a laugh and makes a mental note to tell Henriette.

Gaius looks at the crack.

I could smear it with fish glue, says Gaius. 

Pass, says Ageless. That stuff stinks.

Not once it's dry, says Gaius.

Forget it, says Ageless. I'll just look for a strap.

A strap, says Gaius. There's an idea. 

For the sunglasses, says Ageless.

Ah, says Gaius. But it would be dual-purpose.

He visualises an adjustable strap, attached to the sunglasses, and stretched tight around Ageless's body to close up the crack.

A Long Exit

The Stateliner pulls up outside the Reddy Express in Port Augusta.

Lunch break! says Stanley. You've got half an hour.

I'll see if Ageless is coming, says Terence.

He runs to the back of the bus.

Are you coming? asks Terence.

Yes, says Ageless. I could do with stretching my legs.

Can you do it horizontal? asks Terence,

The only thing I can't do horizontal, says Ageless, is get down off the this seat, so it's good that you're here.

Okay, says Terence. I'll hold the sunglasses.

No, says Ageless. I'm keeping them on.

So what do you want me to do? asks Terence. 

Bend over, says Ageless.

Terence bends over.

Ageless lowers himself on to Terence's back, 

The sunglasses tilt a bit, but don't fall off.

Kneel, says Ageless. 

I don't know how, says Terence.

I thought you fell off a cathedral, says Agelesss. 

So what? says Terence.

You must have seen people kneeling, says Ageless.

Only the tops of their heads and the backs of their feet, says Terence.

Forget it says Ageless. I'll make it from here.

He grasps Terence's gecko shorts and manoeuvres himself backwards over the curve of Terence's bottom and onto the floor of the bus.

The sunglasses remain in situ.

These are excellent sunglasses, says Ageless.

Come on! says Terence. We've only got half an hour.

They hurry to the front of the bus.

Stanley is still sitting in the driver's seat, ticking a form.

Want a hand getting off? asks Stanley.

No.... yes! says Terence. Ageless does.

No I don't, says Ageless. We have perfected this, Terence. You get off first.

Terence jumps off with his perfect balance.

Stanley watches as Ageless looks over the edge of the step to where Terence is waiting, bent over.

Is it the sunglasses you're worried about? asks Stanley.

Just cautious, says Ageless.

You know you can get adjustable straps for them? says Stanley.

Uncool, says Ageless.

Better that than lose them, says Stanley. You know how many sunglasses I've found on this bus this week?

How many? asks Ageless.

At least seven, says Stanley.

Without straps? says Ageless.

All without straps, says Stanley. Think about it. They might even have some in the Reddy Express. I don't think they cost much.

Ageless steps down from the bus, assuming Terence is still bending over to receive him.

But the strap conversation having gone on too long, Terence isn't

Pick It Up Bingo

The sunglasses will stay on, says Ageless. 

I knew it, says Terence.

All I have to do is remain horizontal, says Ageless.

You've forgotten something, says Terence.

What's that? asks Ageless.

Swimming, says Terence. 

Swimming is horizontal, says Ageless.

Collecting cuttlefish eggs, says Terence.

Collecting cuttlefish eggs is horizontal, says Ageless.

Dropping one, says Terence.

Even that, says Ageless. I float gently down, feel about on the sea floor, connect with an egg, pick it up and bingo.

What if it wasn't an egg? asks Terence.

What else would it be? asks Ageless.

Terence thinks. It would be something. Maybe treasure.

A Spanish doubloon, says Terence.

Then I'd be in luck, says Ageless. I'd take it to the Museum.

Would you get money? asks Terence.

It IS money, says Ageless .

 A reward, says Terence.

I'd be on the news, says Ageless. Lobster Guy, who found a Spanish doubloon off Point Lowly.

How did it get there? asks Terence.

This is your story, says Ageless. You tell me.

A pirate dropped it, says Terence. 

Ageless starts singing a pirate song.

Yo ho ho, hee hee hee, a pirate life for me......

Over and over.

Terence makes his way back to Gaius and Denis.

Denis is writng an email to Henriette. 

Gaius is reading a scholarly article on air bubble curtains.

Gaius looks up.

Has Ageless worked out how to keep his sunglasses on underwater? asks Gaius.

He says he'll stay horizontal, says Terence. And he'll pick up the eggs horizontal.  And if he drops one he'll float down horizontal and pick up a Spanish doubloon.

Are you sure he said that? asks Gaius.

He sang the last part, says Terence. 

Denis adds these funny details to his email to Henriette:

Our Lobster Guy now wears sunglasses, pushed up on the top of his head, obliging him to stay horizontal in water. He seems to think that when he drops a cuttlefish egg he'll find a Spanish doubloon. This he told us while singing.

He presses send, happy with his effort.

Unverified as it is.

A Message So Early

Ageless seemed pleased enough with the sunglasses, says Denis.

He did, says Gaius. 

Pity they keep falling off, says Denis.

I hope he's not thinking of wearing them underwater, says Gaius.

Why would he? asks Denis. Who wears sunglasses underwater?

Lobster Guy, says Terence.

You seems to know a lot about Lobster Guy, says Gaius. 

Lobster Guy wears sunglasses all the time, says Terence. 

Then he'll need to stop them falling off underwater, says Gaius.

The string bag! says Denis. Over his head, and pulled tight behind the sunglasses

It might work, says Gaius. Perhaps we should suggest it.

No! says Terence. Lobster Guy doesn't need a string bag. He'll find a better way.

Perhaps you're right, says Gaius. We'll leave it to Lobster Guy.

Lobster Guy has remained at the back on the bus, relaxing.

If only Kobo could see him.

He decides to make contact.

clik-clik....

Kobo is startled to get a message from Ageless so early.

mmm? replies Kobo.

clik-clik,,, i wish you could see me, my sweetness

mmm you found it, the hat?

clik-clik,,, no i was given a gift in lieu

mmm what was it, socks?

clik-clik,,, no, sunglasses with  red frames, would you like me to show you?

mmm of course i would but how?

clik-clik,,, close your eyes and imagine me relaxing

mmm you are always relaxing, what next?

clik-clik,,, imagine my head with sunglasses pushed up in a cool sort of way

mmm a cool sort of way. 

clik-clik,,, lobster guy lies before you

mmm is lobster guy sitting next to you or what?

clik-clik,,, no, lobster guy is me my beloved 

mmm mmm

This is going quite well. 

But Terence interrupts it.

He has come to tell Lobster Guy about the string bag plan, and how he was against it.

Guess what? says Terence. Denis wanted to put a string bag over your head so your sunglasses would stay on.

Lobster Guy hopes Kobo didn't hear that.

Always Horizontal

Denis and Gaius go halves in the sunglasses.

Now it's time to return to the bus.

Terence gets on first, and runs to the back of the bus to tell Ageless.

Guess what? asks Terence.

I'm not getting a hat, says Ageless. 

No, says Terence.

I'm no worse off, says Ageless.

But you're getting something, says Terence. And I found them.

Them? says Ageless. Is it socks?

Ha ha, laughs Terence. YOU can't wear socks.

Red socks, says Ageless. 

It's not socks, says Terence.

Gaius and Denis come up with their present.

We've bought you a present, says Gaius. Next best thing to a hat. 

Better, says Denis. 

What is it? asks Ageless. 

Gaius gives him the red-framed sunglasses.

Ageless had not been expecting red-framed sunglasses.

Thoughts go through his head.

Clik-clik....are they better than a hat? a hat stays on once you get your head into it, on the other hand I did lose mine somehow but sunglasses slip down all the time, I'll have to remain horizontal... clik-clik...  come on Ageless, you're always horizontal, and you'll look cool to the cuttlefish....

Try them on! says Terence.

Ageless accepts the sunglasses from Gaius and places them over his head.

How do I look? asks Ageless.

Not like that, says Gaius. You're supposed to look through them.

I meant what do I look like? asks Ageless.

Lobster Guy, says Terence.

A fortuitous answer,

Ageless is taken with the idea of himself as Lobster Guy.

Lobster Guy will show those cuttlefish how to be stylish.

He adjusts the sunglasses slightly and leans back, relaxing.

Oops. The sunglasses need adjusting again.

Everyone in their seats! shouts Stanley.

Next stop, lunch break in Port Augusta!

Vroom! The Stateliner vrooms out of Port Wakefield.

Cool Sunnies

The bus pulls up next to the 24/7 in Port Wakefield.

Fifteen minutes, says Stanley.

Gaius and Denis get out.

Come on Ageless, says Terence.

I'll wait here on the bus, says Ageless.

But you're getting a hat, says Terence.

I'll be here to receive it, says Ageless.

Okay, says Terence. See you later!

He runs to the front of the bus.

Need help getting off? asks Stanley.

No, says Terence. I have perfect balance.

Half your luck, says Stanley. 

Terence jumps off, and runs into the 24/7.

Gaius and Denis are ordering coffee and buns.

What about the hat? asks Terence.

Coffee first, says Gaius. Would you like a red drink?

Yes, says Terence. Then can I look for a new hat for Ageless?

Certainly, says Gaius. 

He orders a Ribena for Terence.

Only red drinks, says Denis. Why is that? 

It's to do with him falling off a cathedral in Barcelona, says Gaius. 

That doesn't explain it, says Denis.

I suppose not, says Gaius. But he does seem to tolerate red drinks with no trouble.

Fair enough, says Denis.

He must tell Henriette. In fact he must reply soon. But he feels like a fool for not knowing about the air bubble curtain....

Terence has spotted a stand displaying beanies and sunglasses.

He goes over.

Bumhole! No red hats.

But there are cool sunglasses with red frames.

Ageless could wear them on top of his head if he wanted.

He runs back to Gaius.

Here's your drink, says Gaius. Did you see a good hat?

No, says Terence, only red sunglasses.

Sunglasses, says Gaius. I wonder.... What are your thoughts, Denis?

Denis Diderot would normally question a lobster's need for sunglasses. And furthermore, would have asked how the lobster could wear them. But Henriette would be amused at the absurdity, and perhaps forget the air bubble curtain....

Let's buy them, says Denis.

They finish their coffee and buns, and head across to the display stand.

The red-framed sunglasses are priced at sixty five dollars. 

Which is more than a hat.

Beyond Recognition

Gaius returns to his seat next to Denis.

Ageless has spoken of an air bubble curtain, says Gaius. They're installing one at Point Lowly.

Snap! says Denis. Henriette has also referred to this curtain.

You received a reply? says Gaius. That's progress.

Yes, says Denis. But I was not expecting her to know more than me about our project.

Nor was I expecting Ageless to know more than me, says Gaius.

What else did he tell you? asks Denis. 

The curtain measures 200 metres by 100 metres, says Gaius. And it will only be turned on as necessary. 

Necessary? asks Denis.

When the bloom is detected nearby, says Gaius. The bubbles prevent the algae passing through.

Very clever, says Denis. If that is what happens.

Indeed, says Gaius. I suppose we shall see. It's fortunate we have Ageless. 

Yes, he's proved useful already, says Denis.

Not only that, says Gaius. Visitors are banned from the reefs at Point Lowly, but he won't be.

So he'll be doing all the investigating, says Denis. Will he do it? He seems somewhat lazy.

With a bit of persuasion, says Gaius. It would help if we actively looked for his hat.

I've been thinking about his hat, says Denis. Was it a red knitted one?

Yes, says Gaius. Somewhat worse for wear after numerous travels.

Denis pulls the string bag out of his pocket.

Could this be it? asks Denis.

Gaius looks. Perhaps it could be. 

Full of holes, and stretched beyond recognition.

But red, without question.

I wonder, says Gaius. But surely he would have recognised it when he was in it.

Perhaps he was embarrassed, says Denis.

But he asked Terence to look for it, says Gaius.

Maybe to get rid of him, says Denis.

I'm listening, says Terence.

We were only surmising, says Gaius. 

We'll be arriving in Port Wakefield in five minutes, announces Stanley. There'll be a short break for refreshments.

We could buy Ageless a new hat, says Denis.

There's a thought, says Gaius.

Terence runs back to tell Ageless what he'll be getting....

....and does not hear Gaius adding, but we won't say anything if we don't see a good one.

Air Bubble Curtain

Terence shows Ageless the piece of paper.

It's a miki-mo-TOY, says Terence.

Ai, says Ageless. I know all about that.

It's not much different, says Terence.

You were pronouncing it wrong, says Ageless. And I'll tell you something else which may be useful.

What? asks Terence.

You won't need the egg box, says Ageless. 

How do you know? asks Terence.

I keep up to date with these things, says Ageless. As a lobster, I have a vested interest.

Okay, why? asks Terence. 

Because they're installing an air bubble curtain, says Ageless. 

Terence imagines an air bubble curtain. 

Like a magical show.

Does Gaius not know? asks Ageless. 

I'm going to ask him, says Terence.

He runs back to ask Gaius if he knows about the air bubble curtain.

Back again? says Gaius.

Ageless says I won't need the egg box! says Terence. 

And why is that? asks Gaius.

Because there's going to be an air bubble curtain, says Terence.

That sounds fanciful, says Gaius. What is it, and what does it do?

Ageless knows, says Terence. His vest has an interest.

Ageless does not wear a vest, says Gaius. Only a hat. Has he found it?

No, says Terence. He's relaxing.

I should talk to him, says Gaius.

He gets up from his seat and walks back to where Ageless is relaxing.

Air bubble curtain? says Gaius.

You didn't know? replies Ageless. It's the latest strategy. They've probably installed it by now.

And how do you know this? asks Gaius.

I hang out in the State Library, says Ageless. I read the online papers.

Enlighten me, says Gaius.

While Ageless enlightens Gaius about the air bubble curtain, Denis is reading a reply from Henriette.

A muffin, Denis? What were you thinking? A lobster makes a great deal more sense. But you do realise that there may be no need for an egg box? This air bubble curtain may well stop the algal bloom by creating a buffer zone between it and the eggs. But you'll already know that. In other news, I'm now in Brisbane. There's a festival on. I'm going to Gatsby At The Green Light tonight. Looking forward...

Merde! says Denis.

I know what that means, says Terence. 

No Such Thing

Ageless soon tires of looking.

He returns to his seat and relaxes.

Why did you stop looking? asks Terence.

Plenty of time, says Ageless. 

Shall I keep looking? asks Terence.

Take a break, says Ageless. Sit with me and tell me more about this mission.

Okay, says Terence. I'm the egg box guy. Want to see my egg box?

I've seen it, says Ageless. What's it for?

For cuttlefish eggs, says Terence. 

Are we planning to steal them? asks Ageless. 

No. Save them from the mikimoto, says Terence.

There's no such thing as a mikimoto, says Ageless.

Yes there is, says Terence.

Take it from me, says Ageless. There isn't.

I'm going to ask Gaius, says Terence.

He jumps down from his seat and goes up to Gaius who is busy amending his notes.

What is it, Terence? asks Gaius.

Ageless says there's no such thing as a mikimoto, says Terence. 

Mikimotoi, says Gaius. Karenia mikimotoi. He'll have heard of that surely.

Toy, says Terence. Miki-mo-toy.

Shall I write it on a piece of paper? asks Gaius.

Okay, says Terence.

Any luck finding the hat? asks Denis, looking up from his email.

Not yet, says Terence. We're taking a break. 

I'm writing to Henriette, says Denis. 

Woop, says Terence. Is she your girfriend?

Not at this stage, says Denis. 

Did you decide how to respond to her question 'On what?' asks Gaius.

How about this? asks Denis, reading the draft of his email: 

On your interest in the following. I am on a Stateliner bus, on my way to Point Lowly, with Gaius, Terence and a lobster. The lobster is replacing the muffin, whom we had planned to be taking. The muffin itself was in the process of learning to fly. I had designed paper wings for it, and attached them to the muffin with toothpicks. Unfortunately, the muffin fell from a table and had to be discarded. So we are lucky to have the lobster. Venturing underwater, he will locate and gather the cuttlefish eggs which we will keep in an egg box. Shall I continue?

No, says Gaius. I've got the gist.

The question is for her, says Denis.

I see, says Gaius. She'll no doubt be intrigued.

Good! says Denis, pressing send immediately.

Take this to Ageless, says Gaius, giving Terence a piece of paper with Karenia mikimotoi written on it.

Okay, says Terence.

He runs back to Ageless with this good piece of spelling.

Lobsters That Size

Next morning, Denis and Gaius set off for the bus station, on their bikes.

Terence is in Gaius's backpack.

Ageless lobster is in a string bag, dangling from Denis's handlebars.

They arrive at the bus station. 

The bus to Whyalla leaves in ten minutes.

I hope we can take our bikes on board without dismantling them, says Gaius.

He asks the driver.

Bikes are classed as Excess Luggage, says the driver.

Meaning? asks Gaius. 

You'll have to pay extra, says the driver.

Very well, says Gaius. How much will two bikes cost?

Thirty dollars each, assembled, says the driver. Twenty dollars each, disassembled.

Curses, says Gaius. We don't have enough time.

I see you've brought a fancy lunch, says the driver, spotting Ageless lobster in the string bag. 

Not at all, says Gaius.

O yes, says the driver. Lobsters that size cost over a hundred dollars. Tell you what, the bikes travel free if you give me a share of the lobster.

I should report you for corruption, says Gaius.

Only kidding, says the driver. Hello, Ageless! Where's your red hat?

Couldn't find it, says Ageless. Hello, Stanley.

Ahoy, matey! says Stanley. 

Very good, says Gaius. Where does that leave us?

I'll shove the bikes in free of charge, says Stanley. Ageless is an old acquaintance.

He shoves the bikes in and closes the hatches.

Denis and Gaius climb onto the bus. Terence is still in the backpack.

Are we there yet? asks the backpack.

What's in that backpack? asks Stanley.

Me, says Terence, popping up. I'm in the backpack.

Right, says Stanley. Travelling as what?

A statue of an infant, says Gaius. Of course, he's no ordinary statue.  

I can see that, says Stanley. Okay, time to depart. First stop, Port Wakefield for refreshments.

How long to Port Wakefield? asks Denis.

An hour and a half, says Stanley.

Time enough for me to write that email, says Denis.

And me to refresh my cuttlefish notes, says Gaius.

And me to do what? asks Terence.

Help me look for my hat, says Ageless.

It won't be on the bus, says Terence. We just got here.

Any hat, says Ageless.

It's something to do.

They start looking.

Red Hat Volunteer

So Terence got his claw back, says Kobo.

Yes, good as new, says Ageless lobster.

What's that smell? asks Kobo.

Denis has burnt the potatoes, says Ageless.

Why is he here? asks Kobo.

He's going to Point Lowly with Gaius, says Ageless.

When? asks Kobo.

Tomorrow morning, says Ageless.

You should go with them, says Kobo.

Trying to get rid of me, beloved? asks Ageless.

That would be a bonus, says Kobo. But you could be a help.

What do you mean by that, dearest? asks Ageless.

You can venture underwater, says Kobo. You can provide on-the-spot intelligence. Like a journalist in a war zone.

Ageless imagines himself in that role. Posting despatches.

You have convinced me, beloved, says Ageless. I'll volunteer for the role.

Don't forget your red hat, says Kobo.

Gaius comes in from hanging out the washing.

What's that smell? asks Gaius. 

I burned the potatoes, says Denis. 

Already? says Gaius. 

Didn't use enough water, says Denis.

Can they be saved? asks Gaius.

I suppose so, says Denis. I'll scrape them out of the pan, and cut off the worst bits. 

I'll look for some butter, says Gaius. 

He is now near the fridge. Ageless calls out to him.

I will be coming!

What? asks Gaius. 

With you to Point Lowly, says Ageless. In the role of intelligence officer.

Excellent, says Gaius. Are you happy to travel in my back pack? 

I prefer a string bag, says Ageless. 

A string bag? hisses Kobo. People will think you're his lunch!

Why would they? asks Ageless. 

I foresee it happening, says Kobo.

I do have a string bag somewhere, says Gaius. I'll go and look for it. 

You'd better look for your hat, says Kobo.

Good thinking, says Ageless. With a red knitted hat on, no one will mistake me for Gaius's lunch.

Where's this butter? shouts Denis.

Fridge! shouts Gaius.

He comes back with a string bag, just as Denis is opening the fridge and not finding the butter.

Never mind, says Gaius. I must have used it all up before going to Paris. There's some cooking oil in the pantry, we could fry them.

So Denis fries the parboiled and half burnt potatoes.

They turn out quite nice.

Comfort Of Sorts

This was a bad idea.

But you can't blame the muffin, whose seedy eyes had become misaligned.

The muffin falls off the table.

And crumbles.

Now it's really ruined, says Terence.

I should have stopped it, says Denis. Sorry.

Terence picks up the pieces of muffin.

The crumbs, the paper wings, the toothpicks and the passionfuit seed eyes.

This was his beak, says Terence.

So it was, says Gaius. What shall we do with it?

Bin it, says Denis. Where is your bin?

I don't want it to go in the bin! says Terence.

The compost bin, says Gaius. With the compostables, where it will break down and become one with the peelings.

One what? asks Terence.

One with the earth, eventually, says Gaius. A passionfruit vine may spring from its eyes in good time.

There's a fine thought, says Denis.

And trees will grow out of the toothpicks, says Terence.

Less likely, says Gaius.

And butterflies from the wings, says Terence.

Impossible, says Gaius.

Keep the wings, says Roo-kai. They'll remind you of the muffin.

Okay, says Terence. He pulls the toothpicks out of the wings.

At least I've got you, my real parrot, says Terence.

Yes, says Roo-kai. But you tried hard with the muffin.

I might keep the toothpicks as well, says Terence.

So only the crumbs and the passionfruit seeds end up in the compost bin in Gaius's kitchen.

There they lie.

All alone. 

Because Gaius hasn't peeled anything since he got back from Paris.

Now, says Gaius, we must plan our itinerary. 

Do we fly to Whyalla? asks Denis.

No, says Gaius. We'll catch a Stateliner to Whyalla, and we'll take our bikes, so we can cycle to Point Lowly.

He takes out his phone, and starts checking the Stateliner timetable.

Tomorrow morning at 8.25, says Gaius. I'll make an online booking.

He taps for a while.

Done, says Gaius. Who's for an apple?

Me, says Denis. I'm famished,

Gaius looks into his pantry.

No apples, just a box of potatoes, some of which have sprouted.

Better go shopping, says Gaius. 

I'd be happy with potatoes, says Denis. Boiled and mashed with butter. I'll start them. Where's your peeler?

Drawer, says Gaius. While you do that, I'll hang out the washing.

So Denis starts peeling.

Soon the crumbs and eyes of the muffin are joined by peelings and sprouts of potato. 

A comfort of sorts.