My Blue Eyes

Arthur is posing for a photo, for the new flier.

It's a close up.

Whirr-click.

That should do it, says Sweezus.

Do what exactly? says Arthur.

Get us out of a jam, says Sweezus. And be a let out in case we get sued.

My blue eyes, says Arthur. I get it. But what jam?

Money jam, says Sweezus. We're just breaking even.

You're kidding, says Arthur.

He isn't, says Belle. It's the cost of renting a space in the WOMAD.

Arthur is thinking. He's the golden boy now, and he likes it. Why not use his talents to increase their funds?

Cancel the space, says Arthur. Get a refund.

I don't know if we can, says Belle.

Say it's infested, says Arthur.

What with? asks Belle.

Wasps, says Arthur.

Good one. That's sorted.

Say we do that, says Belle. Where do we perform this evening?

In the Botanic Gardens, says Arthur.

Our corner's roped off, says Belle.

Unrope it, says Arthur. But not till the last minute.

Sweezus wonders if he ought to run this by Vello, but decides against it.

Until the last minute.

.......

Evening.

A large crowd forms a queue in Plane Tree Drive.

The WOMAD corner looks deserted.

But the Botanic Gardens corner is subtly lit up.

Change of venue, says Elodie, loudly. Enter this way. Mind the candles.

Geez! says someone, stumbling over a dirt pile.

And the dirt piles, says Elodie. Sit where you like.

How come we're over here? asks a woman. This place was roped off, I remember.

Yes it was, says her friend. It was in the newspaper.

From this we can guess they are old.

........

Eight o'clock.

Vello emerges from behind the original Swiss cotton curtain.

Good evening friends! A few matters before we get started. Some of the profits from tonight's performance will go to the rehabilitation of this corner. Here is a tin. Please feel free to add any contribution that you feel inspired to make. The garden gods will thank you.

He places, at the side of the sink hole, a tin.

He goes back behind the curtain.

The tin waits, a hopeful symbol.

Scene one.

Nobby is pushed out from behind the curtain, festooned with oranges.

Candide: (sigh) Every day seems the same.

Cunégonde: That is not true in a garden.

Candide: You are right. Sometimes the unexpected happens.

Cunégonde: Like a wasp infestation.

Nobby: Or a stink bug invasion!

Stink bug: Poo Poo!

Laughter from the audience. The stink bug is already a favourite.

The candles go out, suddenly.

Nobby is lowered into the sink hole by dark figures.

Candide, Cunégonde and the stink bug follow.

The candles are relit, by dark figures.

Paquette ( peering into the sink hole): There go our oranges!

Brother Giroflée (peering also): And our pistachios! Call the old lady!

Old lady: I'm coming! What's up?

Paquette: 'What's down?', you should be asking.

Martin: Our garden is ruined. I knew our good fortune wouldn't last.

Doctor Pangloss: But look! Here is a tin. Perhaps it's full of money!

He picks up the tin and looks in.

Doctor Pangloss: Not full of money. But I'm optimistic.

He walks around with the tin.

A few audience members toss coins in. It's fun.

And in such a good cause.

The old lady gets her phone out, from a pocket in her wide skirt, and calls Costa.

On hearing his name, the audience becomes excited.

Costa! Costa!

More coins hit the tin.