Genius And Watchi

Look, Arthur, says Terence. A watchi.

Arthur opens his eyes, and looks.

So does Reedy, at the other end of the sofa.

It's not a watchi, says Reedy, it's a Tamagotchi. My sister had one.

What are the buttons for? asks Arthur. He presses one.

DON'T, says Terence. My egg's hatching.

It's hatched, says Reedy. See, that's your baby. Those are it's eyes.

What do I do now? asks Terence.

Feed it and keep it happy, says Reedy. And pick up it's droppings.

I'm not doing that, says Terence. 

Then it dies, says Reedy.

Good, says Terence. 

Dinner! calls Carol. Come and sit down.

Arthur and Reedy get up and go to the table.

Terence sits on the sofa, with his baby. It hasn't dropped droppings. Not yet.

Beep! says the baby Tamagotchi.

What does that mean? asks Terence.

Louisa is busy explaining the ingredients of a bowl of  beetroot, carrot, kale and cranberry salad to Gaius, so she doesn't hear the question.

Reedy is helping himself to turkey and gravy. Nor does he.

Beep! Beep! goes the baby Tamagotchi. 

Terence presses a button. 

A milk bottle appears. The baby looks glum.

Drink it, says Terence.

NO! snaps the baby.

Why? asks Terence.

Why not? says the baby.

Why not what? asks Terence.

You should have asked me why not, says the baby. Not why.

What's wrong with why? asks Terence. 

Because you wanted to know why I won't drink the milk, says the baby. Why is for asking why I will drink it.

I don't think you're a real baby, says Terence.

Good deduction, says the baby. You're nearly as clever as me,

Babies aren't clever says Terence. 

Digital ones are, says the baby. If you feed me and give me activities and keep the discipline meter at 100 percent I'll grow into a Tamatchi and then a Mametchi. A Mametchi is the smartest Tamagotchi.

Woop, says Terence. If you don't do droppings I might think about it.

Deal, says the baby. But you'll have to hack into me.

How? asks Terence.

Open me and disable the droppings function, says the baby.

Okay, says Terence. I'll get one of them to help me. Hey!

What, little buddy? asks Sweezus, spearing a roasted potato.

Help me open this watchi and disable the droppings function, says Terence.

Holy cow! says Sweezus. What are you, a genius?

Terence looks proud.