No Questions

Arthur, Gaius and Denis are now on the desk. 

Sweezus is on the floor having drowned.

Action! says Vello.

My benefactor has drowned! cries Denis! 

He leans forward as if to throw himself off the desk.

Don't do it! cries Gaius. It's reasonable to suppose that the harbour was made on purpose for the the Anabaptist to drown in

Do I argue with Dr Pangloss? asks Denis. 

No! says Vello. Fate intervenes. The ship splits in two.

We should have put two desks together, says David.

We'll do it next time, says Vello. Now, you all fall in. The sailor swims to shore and you two cling to a plank and float offstage in the same direction.

Am I wearing the beanie? asks Denis.

We'll decide that later, says Vello. 

Do we mime the plank? asks Gaius.

Mime the plank, says Vello.

The door of the office bursts open and Hedley runs in.

Hedley! says Terence. Guess what?

What? asks Hedley. 

I'm the hingeman, says Terence. 

What's the hingeman? asks Hedley.

A big strong mean guy who doesn't ask questions, says Terence.

Does that mean you don't have any lines? asks Hedley.

No QUESTIONS! says Terence.

Hedley's mother enters the office.

Hello, Hedley's mother, says Vello.

Hello, Vello, says Hedley's mother. Hedley is so excited. What part is he trying out for?

There is only one part not taken, says Vello. A girl of easy virtue. I'll understand if you don't want him to do it.

Hedley, says Hedley's mother. Do you mind playing a girl?

No, says Hedley.

A girl of easy virtue? adds Hedley's mother.

Whatever, says Hedley.

Does he have to demonstrate his easy virtue? asks Hedley's mother.

Not at all, says Vello. He just goes off with the drunken sailor. 

That's me, says Arthur. 

Oh hello, Arthur. says Hedley's mother. So you're the sailor. Is that a big part?

I'm thinking of making it bigger, says Arthur.

Oh are you? says Vello.

Hello Sweezus, says Hedley's mother, seeing him on the floor. Are you playing Candide again this year?

Nup. James the Anabaptist, says Sweezus. 

I'm playing Candide, says Denis. 

Hedley's mother looks doubtful. 

Isn't Denis too old?

Denis whips the finger-knitted beanie from his back pocket and puts it on.

It does make him look younger.