Nothing Could Be More Irrelevant

You should keep that beanie on all the time, says Vello.

It makes you look younger, says David.

Like Ageless, says Terence.

Thanks, says Denis.

He returns the hat to his pocket.

Belle comes in with some macarons on a plate.

We'll take a short break now, says Vello. 

When is Hedley's scene? asks Hedley's mother.

Coming up next, says Vello. Straight after the earthquake.

Can Hedley and me do the earthquake? asks Terence.

How would you do it? asks Vello.

Roll some rocks, says Terence. And make the scenery fall over.

But how can Hedley do that and be a girl of easy virtue? asks Hedley's mother.

Easy, says Hedley. I'll wear pants.

I don't think girls of easy virtue wore pants in those days, says David.

Hedley's mother looks shocked.

He means trousers, says Vello. 

Or trousers, says David. 

Don't worry, Hedley, says Belle. I'll fix you up with a suitable costume. And anyway, no one will see you doing the earthquake.

Or me, says Terence.

Or you, says Belle.

Arthur has eaten most of the macarons while the earthquake and pants were being settled.

Any more macarons? asks Sweezus.

No, says Belle. 

Everyone looks at Arthur.

Just staying in character, says Arthur.

Your character doesn't eat all the macarons, says Vello. He looks for money in the wreckage, gets drunk, and then buys the favours of Hedley.

Can he turn out to be something of a poet? asks Arthur

No, he can't, snaps Vello.

It might be nicer if Hedley goes off with a poet, says Hedley's mother. 

The sailor is a rough sort, says Vello. 

Maybe I could turn out to be something of a poet? says Hedley.

Ha ha! laughs Terence. 

What's wrong with that? asks Hedley.

Nothing, says Arthur. I've got a poem you could use. 

What's it about? asks Hedley.

Cycling up a hill on a forty degree plus day, says Arthur.

Nothing could be more irrelevant, says Vello. I forbid it.

He forbids it.

So will Arthur give up?