That Kind Of Parent

Meanwhile Prong has flown up to see if Holy Spitball has got enough string.

Didn't expect to see you back, says Holy Spitball.

Just checking, says Prong. How's the string?

Now that you're here, says Holy Spitball, I could use some advice.

On constructing a swing? asks Prong.

Never thought of a swing, says Holy Spitball.

I imagined a swing for your bear, says Prong. And his happy existence.

Not what I imagined, says Holy Spitball.

A climbing rope, with knots? asks Prong.

How would that work? asks Holy Spitball.

You'd tie it to higher branch, says Prong. And he could climb up the rope to it.

Then what? asks Holy Spitball. Slide back down again and get rope burns?

That's what the knots would be for, says Prong. To slow him down. But also to help him climb up in the first place.

I'm not planning to be that kind of parent, says Holy Spitball.

Don't tell me you're planning to tie him up so he can't ever go anywhere, says Prong.

It's so he doesn't fall out of the cypress, says Holy Spitball. 

Has he fallen out before? asks Prong.

I haven't had him that long, says Holy Spitball. He's just wedged, at the moment.

Prong looks across at the normal bear wedged in a fork of the tree.

His little legs are sticking up. His head pokes out between them.

I wouldn't tie him in that position, says Holy Spitball. He'd be upright.

Let me think, says Prong. Why don't you give him a tail?

A string tail, says Holy Spitball. What good would that do? He isn't a monkey.

Of course not, says Prong. And he wouldn't be able to work his tail like a monkey, but what if you made it a loop?

There's an idea, says Holy Spitball. 

He could wear it round his middle, says Prong. 

And lasso the branches, says Holy Spitball. 

And swing, and climb, says Prong.

What a helpful idea, says Holy Spitball. There's only one problem.

What is it? asks Prong.

I'm a dove, you're a parrot, says Holy Spitball. We can't make loops with string.

He is right, Prong realises.

But there is always an answer.

I'll take the string down and get someone to do it, says Prong.

Not Terence, says Holy Spitball. 

No, not him, says Prong.