Not Everyone is Loved by Dogs

Sweezus and Farky were walking to the zoo, beside a main road. A car went by, driven by a young woman. Across the top of the windscreen were the words JESUS LOVES YOU.

I hate that, said Sweezus.

Do you? said Farquhar. Why?

Because, said Sweezus, it implies I love everyone who looks at the windscreen, which I don't. In particular that young woman driving the car.

She's looking at it from behind, observed Farky.

Good, said Sweezus. I hope she realises what that means.

You're a hard man, said Farky, I think it's a very nice sentiment.

How would you like it if it said FARKY LOVES YOU? asked Sweezus.

I'd be astonished if it said that, said Farky.

Why? asked Sweezus.

Because nobody believes dogs love everyone, replied Farky.

Some people do, said Sweezus.

Well, I would like it if it was on the windscreen of a person who believed it, said Farky.

They walked on in silence for a while.

Are we there yet? asked Farky.

Yes, we are, said Sweezus, walking up to the Zoo ticket office. Good morning. Two please!

I'm sorry, you can't bring that dog in here, said the ticket seller.

Sweezus and Farky

Just then Jesus popped his head around the door.

Hello everyone, said Jesus. Does anyone want to help me with an assignment?

What? A creative writing assignment? asked The VeloDrone. No thanks.

I'm really busy today, said Belle et Bonne.

Hello, I don't believe we've met, said Le Bon David.

It's Jesus, said Belle et Bonne. Jesus, meet Uncle David.

Hello, said Jesus. I've heard all about you.

And I've heard all about you, said Le Bon David. You're doing a creative writing course, and you're making a name for yourself on Twitter as Sweezus.

Jesus looked embarrassed.

No, no, said Le Bon David, don't be embarrassed. We all have to start somewhere.
What is your assignment, Sweezus?

I have to go to the Zoo, said Jesus, and write a story about the animals.

Woo hoo! said Farquhar, pricking up his ears. Animals! I'll go with you. I'll help you write your assignment. It'll be good practice for our collaboration.

Hum, said The VeloDrone. Our contributors don't usually need to practice.

Well, Sweezus does, said Farquhar. He is neither a philosopher, nor a writer.

Alright, said Sweezus. No need to rub it in. Coming Farky?

Yes! said Farky. Sweezus and Farky on assignment at the Zoo. See you later, everyone!

Chocolate Wang Wang

We're not just getting Wang Wang
at the Adelaide Zoo

We're soon to take delivery
of his partner Funi too

She requires her own imported
English climbing Tree

Girl Pandas don't like Boy Pandas
all that much you see

Now why this Panda Exercise
no longer seems so Wise is

That we are in the Middle
of a big Financial Crisis

Already Certain People dressed
in Panda Suits have started

Trying to get the General Public
and its Money parted

And Haighs, who made the Murray Cod
and Chocolate Easter Bilby

Have come up with a Giant Chocolate Panda
or soon Will Be.