Many Different Kinds

Sweezus knocked on the door of the Camus family's apartment.

Sweezus! cried the twins. Come and play penguins!

Not now, said Sweezus. I'm starving. What's for breakfast?

Mini-Wheats, said Francine. The children don't much like them.

Oh, said Sweezus. Shall I help myself?

Please do, said Francine. I'll get the coffee.

Camus was at the table eating toast and strawberry jam.

Sweezus, he said, contemplatively. Why does your name seem so familiar?

Are you on Twitter? asked Sweezus. Perhaps you follow me.

Twitter? said Camus. I think not. I have no interest in the social media.

Don't knock it till you try it, said Sweezus. It helps me with my writing. I've just completed a creative writing course. My teacher encouraged me to tweet.

What do you tweet about? asked Camus.

The night sky, said Sweezus. It's really cool. No one else is doing it. One of my followers wrote and told me I ought to be a writter.

A writter? said Camus. What's a writter?

I assumed they meant a writer, said Sweezus. And they couldn't spell.

That's good, said Camus. It means you're making progress, when you start to get some feedback.

That's what I think, said Sweezus, but I just don't seem able to write this article for Marie and Belle et Bonne. A bicycle story I can do, but it's the philosophical aspect that's holding me up.

Aha, said Camus. Just write about what you know.

Yeah, exactly, said Sweezus. And philosophy isn't my thing.

There are many different kinds of philosophy, said Camus. Existentialism, absurdism, determinism, nihilism, naturalism, stoicism.......

You're kidding me! said Sweezus. Wow!

Absurdism and the Weather

Later that evening, over Kentucky Fried Chicken in the Camus family apartment, they quizzed Camus on his philosophy.

What did you mean by life's absurdities? asked Sweezus.

I used the term quite loosely, said Camus, taking another helping of mashed potato and gravy from a cardboard bowl. I say this really is disgusting.

Have some chips then, Albert, said Francine. If you don't mind that the twins have covered them in sauce.

Thanks, said Camus. Now where was I? Yes, I am a proponent of Absurdism. By that I mean to say that life itself is meaningless. Or rather that the human mind cannot comprehend it.

Awesome, said Sweezus. I sometimes think that too, when the weather's bad.

Absurdism has nothing to do with the weather, said Camus.

I think you'll find it does, said Sweezus. What do you think Gaius?

The weather? said Gaius. What on earth are you talking about? And what is Absurdism but a load of modern nonsense? My philosophy is a simple one, but indisputable. All excess is bad. For example, having chips AND mashed potato at dinner.

That was unavoidable, said Francine. The cardboard mashed potato comes free with the Kentucky Fried Chicken.

That's no excuse, said Gaius. Why then did you order chips?

It really isn't your affair, said Francine. But the children like them.

Just then the children came running up to Sweezus.

Come and play Fairy Penguins, Uncle Sweezus! cried Catherine.

Yes, come and play! said Jean.

Alright, said Sweezus, standing up and waddling off behind them.

A Coincidence

That Samuel Beckett was a strange man, said Belle et Bonne, the following day. Did you notice, papa, that he didn't have a limp.

That's Samuel Beckett for you, said The VeloDrone, comfortably. Sometimes he limps, and sometimes he doesn't. It's something to do with existentialism, or absurdism. Or is it post modernism? I'm never quite sure of the difference.

It's something to do with not telling the truth, said Belle et Bonne, disapprovingly. I'm not looking forward to his story.

But you told him you were, observed her papa.

Belle et Bonne ignored this remark.

I don't know why you chose him to be the next contributor, she said. My friend Simone will be sending us her story soon.

Simone de Beauvoir! said the VeloDrone. That was months ago now. How long must we wait for this woman?

I don't know papa, but she'll surely write soon. I'll just check the inbox again....oh look, here's something from her, let me see......

You look alarmed my dear, said The VeloDrone.

Oh no! She's fallen off her bicycle and broken a tooth, papa!

Dear me! What happened?

She says she was riding along a country lane, when she turned a corner and crashed headlong into a man with a stiff leg, and crutches!