One Horse Leafy

How many have you counted? asks Fritzy.

One, says Terence. The one that I stepped on. 

You should wash your foot, says Whitey.

I'm not allowed in the water, says Terence.

Yeah, he's the thermometer guy, says Fritzy. 

Without a thermometer, says Whitey.

I told you, it's coming, says Terence.

On a bike, says Fritzy.

Is it a double thermometer? asks Whitey.

Why ask the kid that? asks Fritzy.

How else does it pedal,? asks Whitey.

There's no such thing as a double thermometer, says Terence. 

I was kidding, says Whitey. 

There might be, says Fritzy. Just that you've never seen one.

What would you do with it? asks Whitey.

Dunno, says Fritzy.

I know! says Terence. 

Tell us, says Fritzy.

Take two temperatures, says Terence.

Yeah but whose? asks Whitey.

The top of the sea and the bottom of the sea, says Terence. At the same time. 

Hey! says Whitey. This kid knows his science.

I'm in a team, says Terence.

He pokes at the curly thing with his foot.

Aw, says Whitey. You found a dead leafy.

I know, says Terence. A dead leafy horse.

Sea dragon, says Fritzy.

We call them a horse, says Terence.

Are you counting them too? asks Whitey.

Yes, says Terence. One dead fish, one dead horse leafy.

Know what I heard? asks Fritzy.

What? asks Whitey.

I heard they're finding dead cockles at Goolwa, says Fritzy. And the same dirty froth.

That's heaps bad, says Whitey.

Lucky we've got science guy, says Fritzy.

Thermometer guy, says Terence. 

Thermometer Guy

Don't move, says Arthur.

Do I have to keep bending down? asks Terence.

No, but don't go anywhere, says Arthur. I'm heading out for that wave.

You're supposed to watch me, says Terence.

I'll be watching, says Arthur. And you can watch me.

Okay, says Terence.

But he is not going to watch Arthur.

He bends down again to look at the curly thing he was looking at before Arthur told him not to move.

What are you? asks Terence.

The curly thing doesn't answer.

Terence looks up.

Arthur is paddling towards the fast growing wave.

The wave builds towards him.

Sweezus returns with his board.

Okay little buddy?

Yes, says Terence. Arthur's watching me from out there.

Yeah? says Sweezus. And what would he do if something happened?

Like what? asks Terence.

Never mind, says Sweezus. I'm back now.

Arthur has missed the wave, and is now paddling out to the next one.

But the two surfers they met in the car park have caught it.

They drag their boards into the shallows.

Hey! says Fritzy.

Whitey coughs.

Did Arthur leave the TicTacs? asks Sweezus.

No, says Terence.

Going out? asks Fritzy.

Yeah, when my friend comes in, says Sweezus. That's him out there.

I'm whacked, says Whitey.

Me too, says Fritzy. 

Must be the algae, says Sweezus. You guys going?

Nah we might wait a bit and then go back in, says Fritzy.

Sweezus sees a big wave coming, way out there. 

Will Arthur catch it? 

No, Arthur is bobbing up and down.

Could he be coughing?

He might be in trouble, says Sweezus

He's probably just coughing, says Whitey. Like we all are.

Yeah, but he's also got a fever, says Sweezus. 

And a pus-chool, says Terence.

Shit, man, says Fritzy. You better get out there. We'll keep an eye on the kid.

Thanks, says Sweezus, chucking his bodyboard into the shallows.

I'm not a kid, says Terence. I'm the thermometer guy, remember?

Where's your thermometer? asks Fritzy.

Coming on a bicycle, says Terence. So I'm counting dead fish.

Curly Moment In Space And Time

Sweezus and Terence have made their way down to the beach.

They are scanning the water for Arthur.

I see him, says Sweezus. He's down that way.

They head that way. 

Terence steps on a dead fish.

Yerk! says Terence.

Better you than me, says Sweezus.

Yes, says Terence. You're bigger.

That's not why, says Sweezus.

Look, that's my footprint! says Terence. 

Leave it, says Sweezus. Come on, Arthur's coming in.

Arthur has caught a middle sized wave and glides in on his bodyboard.

He rolls to a stop and stands up in the poisonous froth.

We brought you some TicTacs, says Terence.

In case you were coughing, says Sweezus. 

I wasn't, says Arthur, but thanks. He takes a TicTac.

Lemon, says Arthur.

That's all there was, says Sweezus. What's it like out there?

Some guys are coughing, says Arthur.

Maybe they'd like a TicTac, says Sweezus.

Ask them when they come in, says Arthur.

Can I look for dead fish? asks Terence.

What for? asks Sweezus.

Science, says Terence.

Sweezus is impressed. Sure you can, little buddy. But just count, don't touch 

Terence wanders off to look for dead fish and count them.

I might go up to the car and get my board, says Sweezus. Keep an eye on Terence. 

Okay, says Arthur. And leave me the TicTacs.

Okay, says Sweezus.

He goes. 

Arthur sees a wave building up in the distance, his mouth full of TicTacs.

Terence bends down to look at something curly.

It's a moment

in space 

and in time.

Things That Are Better Than Nothing

They arrive at the Waitpinga Beach car park.

Several surf vans are already there.

Told you, says Sweezus. It takes more than poisonous froth and sore throats to put surfers off.

Did you bring anything? asks Arthur.

Couple of body boards, says Sweezus. It was all I could fit in Katherine's boot.

Better than nothing, says Arthur. Let's go.

Can't leave Terence, says Sweezus. But you go.

He pops the boot open.

Arthur gets out.

Takes a body board and heads down the track to the beach.

Can I sit in the front now? asks Terence.

Sure, says Sweezus. Squeeze through.

Terence squeezes half way through to the front seat and stops.

What is it? asks Sweezus.

Just checking for pus-chools, says Terence.

He would've told us if it burst, says Sweezus. And he'd have had to stop and squeeze out the glass splinter.

Okay, says Terence, coming through.

Look at all those guys out there, says Sweezus.

Can't, says Terence. I'm too low.

I'll grab the towel, says Sweezus.

I was sitting on the suitcase, says Terence.

Geez, were you? says Sweezus. Kant's suitcase. Did you scratch it?

No, says Terence.

I hope not, says Sweezus. 

A new surf van pulls up beside them.

Two surfers get out.

Hey, says Sweezus. What's the story?

The surfers both start to cough.

That sounds nasty, says Sweezus. 

Be okay when we get out there, says one of the surfers. Hey, are you that guy...?

Sweezus, says Sweezus. 

And I'm that guy Terence, says Terence.

Cool, says the surfer. I'm Fritzy and he's Whitey.

G'day! says Whitey. See you guys out there.

Not me, says Terence. I'm the thermometer guy.

No kidding, says Whitey.

He and Fritzy grab their boards and head down the track, coughing.

Hope Arthur's not coughing, says Sweezus.

We should go down and see, says Terence.

Yeah, okay, says Sweezus. I wonder if Katherine keeps cough lollies in her glove box.

He opens the glove box.

A half full box of yellow Tic Tacs falls out.

Yellow.

But better than nothing.

Never Get Anything

Are we there yet? asks Terence.

About half way, says Sweezus.

Which half? asks Terence.

That's a really dumb question, says Sweezus.

I've got nothing to do, says Terence. 

You shouldn't have left Gloopy on the bus, says Arthur.

I know, says Terence.

Cheer up, says Sweezus. When we get to Waitpinga there'll be heaps to do.

Like what? asks Terence.

Remember the thermometer? says Arthur.

Where is it? asks Terence.

Gaius has got it, says Arthur.

I'm allowed to use it, says Terence. If I sink to the bottom.

I don't reckon Gaius would've said that, says Sweezus.

He said it was a good idea, says Terence.

Did he? says Sweezus.

But what can I do NOW? asks Terence.

Look at the scenery, says Sweezus.

I'm too low, says Terence.

Sit on my stuff, says Sweezus.

His stuff is under a towel next to Terence.

Beside it is a small suitcase.

The suitcase is flat, the towel stuff is lumpy.

So Terence sits on the suitcase.

Now he can see.

Boring trees and dead bushes.

I spy something brown, says Terence.

Everything, says Arthur.

Correct, says Terence. Your turn.

I spy something yellow, says Arthur

The sun, says Terence.

No, says Arthur.

The road sign, says Sweezus.

No, says Arthur.

We give up, says Terence.

The pustule on the back of my leg, says Arthur.

Good one, bro, says Sweezus. Except no one can see it.

Do you want to? asks Arthur.

No way, says Sweezus. And be careful. Don't pop it or Katherine will crack a fruity.

What's a pus-chool? asks Terence.

A pimple filled with sticky yellow pus, says Sweezus.

It'll probably pop by itself, says Arthur. There's glass in it.

Yikes! says Terence.

Don't worry little buddy, you won't get one, says Sweezus.

Because I never get anything, says Terence.

 

Forget The Rational Mind

Terence chooses the car.

He sits in the back seat and Arthur sits in the front, next to Sweezus.

They head off to Waitpinga.

Leaving Gaius in Victor Harbor with Kant.

Shall we set off at once? asks Gaius. 

Err, yes, let us set off at once, says Kant.

I heard you say you had never ridden a bicycle, says Gaius.

I did say that, says Kant.

But you think it should be easy, says Gaius.

I do, says Kant.

Well, says Gaius. Confidence is everything. You go in front and I'll follow.

Just for the first bit, says Kant. 

Yes just for the first bit, says Gaius. After that, we'll ride in tandem.

And get to know one other, says Kant.

Certainly, says Gaius. I have heard of you, of course.

And I you, says Kant.

He grasps the handlebars of Arthur's hired bike, and lifts one leg over the cross bar.

Foot on pedal, says Gaius. And push off!

Kant follows the instructions. Foot on pedal, push off.

With the other pedal, says Gaius, when nothing happens.

Oh, of course, says Kant. The rational mind sometimes....

Forget the rational mind, says Gaius. Launch yourself forward , and try to keep upright.

Kant launches himself forward. Hurrah! 

He moves forward, and keeps upright. 

Are you behind me? shouts Kant, not willing to turn round and look.

I am! says Gaius. Well done. You're a natural.

He catches up with Kant.

They are now heading out of Victor Harbor.

We should soon see the Waitpinga turnoff, says Gaius.

I hear it is scenic, says Kant.

Scenic? says Gaius. I suppose so, but that's not why we're going.

I thought it was, says Kant. So why are we going?

To examine the algal bloom that is killing the fish and causing rashes and sore throats in the surfers, says Gaius.

Kant is alarmed.

I see you are alarmed, says Gaius. Didn't Sweezus tell you?

No he didn't, says Kant.

The scallywag, says Gaius. He probably wanted an excuse to come down here and go surfing with Arthur.

In the algal bloom? asks Kant. That sounds risky. And he seems such a sensible young man.

We shall see, says Gaius. I wouldn't put it past the two of them to have planned it. 

I must remember to keep well away from the water, says Kant.

I shall be venturing into it, says Gaius. But only far enough to take temperature readings.

Aha, says Kant. So your theory is that the algal bloom is due to warming waters?

Yes, says Gaius. I see you have a scientific mind.

A philosophical mind, says Kant. 

Like my friends, Vello and David, says Gaius.

No, not like them, says Kant. We agree on sensation, but disagree on perception and what comes after.

It takes all kinds, says Gaius.

But we can't all be right, says Kant.

Indeed, says Gaius. I for example have had to admit that some of my medical remedies have proved ineffective. But I stand by the cabbage.

The cabbage? asks Kant.

As a poultice, says Gaius. In fact I would have suggested a cabbage poultice to Arthur, but I knew what he'd say.

I tend to stay away from doctors, says Kant. 

Gaius nods in agreement. 

How pleasant is this conversation!

Particularly without Terence to keep interrupting.

 

What Can I Hope?

Terence runs out of the police station.

He sees the back of someone who looks like Sweezus. 

Hey! cries Terence.

Sweezus turns and walks back.

Hey little buddy! says Sweezus. How come...?

We got arrested! says Terence.

No way! says Sweezus. Where are...?

Gaius and Arthur wheel their bikes out of the station.

Look! says Terence. Sweezus is here.

What are you doing in Victor Harbor? asks Gaius.

Stopped off to show Immanuel what it looks like, says Sweezus. He's gone for a walk.

Are you on bicycles? asks Gaius.

Borrowed Katherine's car, says Sweezus. But hey, Terence says you got arrested.

Not really, says Gaius. A case of lost property, that's all.

I lost Gloopy, says Terence. 

Where? asks Sweezus. 

On the bus, says Terence.

You might not get him back, says Sweezus. But at least he was dead.

At least? says Terence.

I just meant he won't be upset, says Sweezus.

It was his last adventure, says Terence. Getting left on a bus.

Yeah, says Sweezus. It happens. But hey what's the time? Shit! I'm supposed to be meeting Kant in two minutes.

Where? asks Gaius. 

Other end of the street, says Sweezus. Near the Causeway.

Want to borrow my bike? asks Arthur.

It's the first thing he has said.

Holy guacamole! says Sweezus. You don't look too good.

He has a fever, says Gaius. And one of his cuts is infected.

Man! says Sweezus. Yeah, I'll take the bike. Meet me down there.

He takes Arthur's bike and speeds off to meet Kant.

But Kant is not where he left him.

Where is he?  The man whose life runs like clockwork.

He is halfway across the Causeway, hurrying back.

Asking himself his favourite three questions. What can I know? What can I do? What can I hope?

Well he knows he can't hope to get back by four o'clock, that is certain. 

He is three minutes late.

Apologies, says Kant.

No worries, says Sweezus.  Did you get to the island?

No, says Kant. I did not. I see you have acquired a bicycle.

Yeah it's my friend's bike, says Sweezus. He's got a fever.

Dear me, says Kant. Is it this new influenza?

Nah, says Sweezus. One of the cuts in his leg got infected. 

Should he be riding a bike? asks Kant.

Yeah, nah, says Sweezus. I was thinking if you rode his bike to Waitpinga I could give him a lift in the car.

Ride there on my own? asks Kant.

No, with Gaius, says Sweezus. He's got a bike too. Here they come now.

Gaius and Arthur arrive, with Terence in the bicycle basket. 

Kant looks at Arthur. 

I have never ridden a bicycle before, says Kant, but it must be quite easy. Sweezus has asked me to give up my place in the car and ride your bike to Waitpinga.

What a kind offer, says Gaius. That will give Arthur some time to recover.

Arthur looks suitably grateful.

What about me? asks Terence.

You can go in the car or the basket, says Sweezus. I'd choose the basket, you'll see more.

I'd choose the car, says Gaius.