Every Tree Ever Invented

Nothing on top of the skateboard. Just black.

The dragons are underneath the skateboard.

When he first realised this, Terence was disappointed.

It's not like he does skateboard tricks.

If he could do tricks, people would see under the skateboard when he did one.

And they'd see the dragons.

But anyway, he could learn to do tricks.

Maybe Baby Pin Penguin knows some.

All right back there? asks Gaius. 

No, says Terence. Are we there yet?

Not far, says Gaius. How are you liking the scenery?

What scenery? asks Terence.

Look to your right, says Gaius. The ocean.

Terence looks to the right.

Woop, says Terence. The ocean.

And left, says Gaius. The Tasmanian trees.

Terence looks at the Tasmanian trees.

They look like every tree ever invented.

Penguin is ten minutes away, says Gaius. We'd be there already, if I didn't have to pull you behind me.

Surfing-with-Whales doesn't have to, says Terence. Is he there yet?

Probably, says Gaius. 

He is.

Surfing-with-Whales has reached Penguin.

It's a long time since he last passed through here.

With Gaius and Arthur and Terence and Stew and Ying.

He tries to remember the location of Baby Bin Penguin.

On the esplanade somewhere.

He slows down.

There's a penguin bin outside a café. 

He stops at the bin penguin.

Hey! says Surfing-with-Whales to the bin penguin. Remember me? 

Not really, says the bin penguin. 

Remember Terence? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

Terence! says the bin penguin. That rings a bell. Why don't you ask my wife. She's that bin over there.

Surfing-with-Whales crosses the road to the second bin penguin.

Did I hear you mention Terence? asks the second bin penguin.

Yeah, says Surfing-with-Whales. Remember him?

Yes of course. He was good friends with my son, replies the second bin penguin.

Terence is coming, says Surfing-with-Whales. And he wants to catch up. Where's your son?

Fifty metres west, in front of the playground, says the second bin penguin. Oh, he'll be so excited!

Thanks, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Got any rubbish? asks the second bin penguin.

But Surfing-with-Whales is already cycling away.

He stops beside Baby Bin Penguin.

Guess who's coming? says Surfing-with-Whales.

Another boring old person with rubbish, says Baby Bin Penguin

No, a cool surprise, says Surfing-with-Whales. 

Should he warn Baby Bin Penguin that Terence is stuck to a skateboard and looks a bit different?

Happy Travels Except For Me

Gaius pays for two weeks hire of two vintage mountain bikes, and a pullalong, plus a deposit. 

The skateboard is free.

Damo attaches the pullalong to Gaius's bike.

Surfing-with-Whales lifts Terence and his skateboard into it.

How's that? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

I can't see, says Terence. Why does my skateboard have to be in front of my face?

Because you're stuck to it, temporarily, says Gaius. 

What if I sit on it? asks Terence.

You'd be sitting on your hand, says Damo.

I wouldn't care, says Terence.

And you'd be on an angle, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Why? asks Terence.

We'll show you, says Surfing-with-Whales.

He lifts Terence while Damo tries to slide the skateboard under Terence's bottom.

His leg's in the way, says Damo. 

That's one way to put it.

Terence hand is now between his legs, and the skate board is at an angle, due to the length of the pullalong

Continue? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

NO! cries Terence. 

Right, says Gaius. I think Terence has realised that he must sit with the skateboard upright in front of his face until we can lay our hands on some vinegar.

Cool, says Surfing-with-Whales.

He and Damo return Terence to his original position.

Okay guys, says Damo. Happy travels!

Except for me, says Terence.

Many thanks, Damo! says Gaius.

He and Surfing-with-Whales wheel their bikes and the pullalong out through the door.

They head to Coles.

Gaius leaves the others outside and goes in.

He comes out with some vinegar, and a large bag of apples.

Lunch, says Gaius. We'll have it in Penguin. And also deal with Terence's situation.

Penguin! says Terence. Is that where Baby Bin Penguin lives?

It is, says Gaius. I thought you might like to stop there.

Yippee! says Terence. I love Baby Bin Penguin!

How come? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

He knows heaps of penguin jokes, says Terence.

I know a few myself, says Surfing-with-Whales.

He gets on his vintage mountain bike and starts off towards Penguin.

Gaius follows, pulling Terence and the skateboard behind him..

Terence stares at the skateboard in front of his face.

This all started because he wanted to see what the top of it looked like.

At least now he knows.

Dragons Underneath

Surfing-with Whales squeezes the glue onto Terence's claw.

He hands it to Terence.

Terence presses the claw into the space on his hand.

Hold it in place for ten seconds, says Surfing-with-Whales.

How long is ten seconds? asks Terence.

We'll tell you, says Gaius.

Terence looks around Damo's office.

That must be Damo's skateboard, propped up next to his seat.

It's a cool skateboard with dragons on it. And that's just underneath. 

Five seconds, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Terence wonders what's on the top side of the skateboard.

If he turned it, he'd see.

He reaches out to turn the skateboard, just a little.

Terence! says Gaius. Your ten seconds isn't up yet!

Too late. Terence remembers.

He was supposed to press down on his claw till ten seconds was up.

The claw has slipped sideways out of position but, bumhole! there's worse!

The glue must have dripped into the palm of his hand.

Because his hand is now stuck to the skateboard,

Two seconds! says Surfing-with-Whales. Quick! Take your hand off!

I'm not taking my hand off, says Terence.

Off the skateboard, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Gaius foresees trouble. Terence's hand stuck to Damo's skateboard. The paintwork ruined. Damo wanting compensation. 

But Damo is laughing.

It's not funny, says Terence. I'm stuck to this skateboard.

Don't tell me you didn't do it on purpose, says Damo.

Okay, says Terence.

Did you do it on purpose? asks Gaius.

I can't tell you, says Terence. 

You can tell me, says Gaius. Damo didn't mean that you couldn't.

No, says Terence. It was an accident. Now what?

You can have it, kid, says Damo. I'm getting a new one. 

Yay! says Terence. Except not yay, because I can't even use it.

Not until we unstick you, says Gaius. What a nuisance.

What dissolves super glue? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

WD-40, says Damo. I've got some. Wait, what's the kid made of?

Cement, says Gaius.

Ooh, says Damo. Might be risky.

Wah! cries Terence.

We'll try vinegar, says Gaius. 

You got any? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

No, says Gaius. 

Me either, says Damo.

Looks like Terence will have to stay stuck for a while.

You Have Ten Seconds

Six am.

The Spirit of Tasmania docks in Devonport.

Gaius, Surfing with-Whales and Terence wait at the ramp to get off.

The queue starts to move.

...

Now to look for a hardware store, says Gaius. Then a bicycle hire shop.

You guys get the glue, says Surfing-with-Whales. I'll find a bike shop.

That will save time, says Gaius. Send me the address, and we'll meet there. Don't sign anything until I arrive.

As if, says Surfing-with-Whales, getting his phone out. 

He searches for  'bike hire in Devonport'.

Gaius and Terence head off to find glue.

Ah! says Gaius. A Coles Supermarket. They'll have it.

They enter the Coles, and look for the glue section

Here we are says Gaius. Supa Glue, Fix n' Go. Only three dollars.

Yay! says Terence. 

They go to the checkout where Gaius pays for the glue.

Can we do it now? asks Terence.

I suppose so, says Gaius. Where is your claw?

Wah! says Terence. It's in Surfing-with-Whales's pocket!

Never mind, says Gaius. We'll be meeting him soon.

He checks his phone. Surfing-with-Whales has sent him an address.

It's not far away.

Here he is! says Surfing-with-Whales. This is Gaius.

Hi Gaius, says the bike hire guy. I'm Damo. 

He's got these cool vintage mountain bikes for hire, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Let's see them, says Gaius. Yes, very nice. What's the weekly hire rate"

Seventy eight dollars a week, says Damo. What about the little guy?

I'm having a scooter, says Terence.

Damo laughs.

Thought you were going to Macquarie Harbour, says Damo.

We are, says Gaius. He's not having a scooter.

I could give you a basket to fix to the front, says Damo. Or one of those pull-alongs. Slow you down though.

I'm not going in a basket, says Terence. And what about my claw?

Yeah, says Surfing-with-Whales. Did you guys get the glue?

We did, says Gaius. Only three dollars!

What's happening? asks Damo.

We need to stick his claw back on, says Surfing-with-Whales, taking it out of his pocker.

To his credit, Damo does not ask any questions.

Wanna sit in my office and do it? asks Damo.

Thanks, mate, says Surfing-with-Whales.

They follow Damo into the office and sit Terence down on a chair.

Surfing-with-Whales twists the lid off the glue.

Hold the claw, Terence, says Surfing-with-Whales. When I squeeze glue on the end, you position it. If you get it wrong you have ten seconds to change it before it dries hard.

Ten seconds. Sounds good.

Plenty of time to make everything perfect.

Farky Dream

At five thirty, Gaius wakes up.

Something or someone has poked him.

What time is it? asks Gaius.

Time to wake up, says Terence.

Five thirty, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Why am I facing your feet? Have you...... no, it's me, says Gaius. I recall now.

Yeah, says Surfing-with-Whales. You didn't look all that comfy.

Maybe not, says Gaius, but at least I'm rested. 

We stayed awake, says Terence. We were talking.

Hmm, says Gaius. Not, by any chance, about Farky?

It was about Farky, says Surfing-with-Whales. 

Farky, says Gaius. That explains it!

What? asks Terence.

I had a dream about Farky, says Gaius. 

Where was he? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

Swimming, says Gaius. Next to some sharks.

Did he escape? asks Terence.

I don't know, says Gaius. I was woken before anything happened.

Can you go back to sleep again? asks Terence.

It doesn't work that way, says Gaius. I'm awake now, and we'll be docking in Devonport shortly. 

He heads off to join the queue for the rest rooms.

Maybe Farky got eaten by sharks, says Terence.

Nah, says Surfing-with-Whales. Farky had those omniscient teeth. He wouldn't've gone swimming.

You don't know, says Terence.

I know that much, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Gaius returns. 

Now what? asks Terence.

Check we have everything, says Gaius. 

My claw! says Terence.

Check, says Surfing-with-Whales.

My back pack, says Gaius. Check.

And my backpack, says Surfing-with-Whales. Check.

My red snake, says Terence. Check.

Have you still got that? asks Gaius. I suggest you get rid of it.

Can't, says Terence. It's stuck inside my pocket.

We'll prise it out later, says Gaius. Let us proceed to the exit ramp and be among the first off.

Cool, says Surfing-with-Whales. It's good when you don't have a vehicle.

It is indeed, says Gaius. But the first thing we must do in Devonport is... 

Buy glue, says Terence.

Yes, says Gaius, buy glue, of course. And the second thing is hire two sturdy bicycles.

Don't I get one? asks Terence.

No, says Gaius. For a very good reason. 

What about a scooter? asks Terence.

How would that work? asks Gaius.

How? Terence is surprised he doesn't know.

The All Nighter

Gaius is sleeping on his recliner.

Every so often, he groans and rolls over.

What's wrong with Gaius? asks Terence.

Nothing, says Surfing-with-Whales. It's his recliner, not following the curve of his ....shit! 

That doesn't make sense, says Terence. 

Game over! says Surfing-with-Whales. 

Did you lose? asks Terence.

Yeah, I lost concentration, says Surfing-with-Whales. The aim is to be the last man standing.

On what? asks Terence.

Doesn't matter on what, says Surfing-with-Whales. I died, that's what matters.

Start a new game, says Terence.

I might try Fortnitemares, says Surfing-with-Whales, clicking through.

That looks good, says Terence. 

Yeah, says Surfing with Whales. It's new. And scary! You up for it?

Me? says Terence.

You'll be watching me play it, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Sure, says Terence. 

He watches as Surfing-with-Whales's avatar dodges exploding pumpkins and encounters a challenge called Tricycle Scare.

Ha ha! laughs Terence. A three-wheeler! That's lame.

Bugger! says Surfing with-Whales. Defeated again. 

Sorry, says Terence.

Doesn't matter, says Surfing-with-Whales. Maybe we should try and get some shut-eye.

You promised! says Terence.

Promised what? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

To do an all nighter, says Terence. Like me.

Yeah so I did, says Surfing-with-Whales. Okay.

He makes room for Terence on the recliner.

It's not quite wide enough, but Terence doesn't mind.

Ouch! says Surfing-with-Whales. What's that sticking into my leg?

My claw, says Terence. I put it in my pocket.

Take it out, says Surfing-with-Whales. It can go in my pocket.

What if you lose it? asks Terence.

I won't lose it, says Surfing-with-Whales. I'm a careful type of person.

Terence takes the claw out of his pocket, and hands it to Surfing-with-Whales, who shoves it into his pocket.

Now what? asks Terence.

Let's talk, says Surfing-with-Whales. 

What about? asks Terence.

Whatever, says Surfing-with-Whales. Your claw, for example. How'd you get it?

My blood brother, says Terence.

Where is he now? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

I don't know, says Terence.

That's like me and Farky, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Farky was Sweezus's dog, says Terence.

Yeah but he left him with me, says Surfing-with-Whales. 

Where is he now? asks Terence.

I don't know, says Surfing-with-Whales.

So Terence and Surfing-with-Whales have something in common.

External Things

Gaius returns from the rest room.

Surfing-with-Whales is lying back in his recliner, playing Fortnite Battle Royale.

Terence is watching.

Gaius sits down on his recliner and fiddles with the knob.

Terence, says Gaius. Can you help me with this?

Sure, says Terence. 

Sit here and pull this knob backwards, says Gaius. Meanwhile I'll go behind the seat and bear down.

Terence sits on the seat and leans sideways to pull on the knob.

This is like a video game, says Terence. Now what?

Gaius tries to force the back down.

Crunk! The back collapses and the recliner is now horizontal. 

Excellent! says Gaius. Good work Terence.

Terence gets off and Gaius gets on.

Gaius lies back. Hum. It's not quite horizontal. If anything, his head is lower than his shoulders. Yes, he can see what's behind him. This won't do.

We might need to crank it up a little, says Gaius.

What for? asks Terence.

My head is too low, says Gaius. Blood will rush to it while I'm sleeping.

Is that bad? asks Terence.

Not good for thinking, says Gaius. I'll ask Surfing-with-Whales to help.

What is it? asks Surfing-with-Whales, looking up from his Battle Royale. 

I need help adjusting this recliner, says Gaius.

What the problem? asks Surfing-with-Whales. It looks pretty flat.

Not strictly flat, says Gaius. My head is below my shoulders when I lie down.

Lie the other way round, says Surfing-with-Whales. With your head where your feet are.

I shouldn't have to, says Gaius.

Yeah, says Surfing-with-Whales. You could ask for a cushion.

Ask who? grumbles Gaius.

Staff, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Never mind, says Gaius. I'll just try reversing.

He lies with his head where his feet were. 

It's not bad.

This will do, says Gaius. Now I'll try and get some sleep, since we'll be waking up early.

How early? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

About five thirty am, says Gaius. We arrive in Devonport at six.

I might pull an all nighter, says Surfing-with-Whales.

I don't recommend it, says Gaius. 

What is it? asks Terence.

When you stay awake all night, says Surfing-with-Whales.

I always do that, says Terence.

Cool, says Surfing-with-Whales. You can stay up with me.

Gaius rolls over on his recliner, leaving them to it.

There is an inconvenient curve in the recliner, which would be fine if he were lying the other way....but he isn't....however, one should deal with these things like a stoic....what was it Marcus Aurelius said....external things are not the problem....of course he probably never had to deal with a faulty mechanism on a Spirit of Tasmania recliner.... 

With this wry thought, Gaius drifts off.