Rightly Confused

Ageless reurns to where Terence is waiting, with Faith.

Did you find them? asks Terence.

I found them, says Ageless. 

Were they alive? asks Terence.

No, says Ageless. 

So you found them too late, says Faith.

Too late,says Ageless. 

They hadn't learned how to hunt, says Faith. That's peculiar.

They were peculiar, says Ageless. 

He looks at Terence to see how he's taken the news.

Terence is looking at the sky.

Now Terence is turning away from the sea, and plodding back to the campsite,

He's taken it hard, says Faith. Couldn't you have pretended?

I have pretended, says Ageless. 

So they haven't died, says Faith. 

Not yet, says Ageless. But they're not coming back.

Terence has arrived at the campsite.

The botomists have died, says Terence. 

Did Ageless say so? asks Gaius.

Yes, says Terence. He found them too late.

I'm surprised, says Gaius. Did he bring back the bodies?

No, says Terence.

What's happened? asks Louis de Freycinet.

The botanists died, says Gaius. Ageless found them but didn't bring back the bodies.

Alors! says Louis de Freycinet. They deserve a good burial. I'm about to depart but if I see them floating I'll propel them shorewards.

They won't be floating, says Gaius. They'll have sunk to the bottom.

If the waters are clear, I may spot them, says de Freycinet. If so I'll send you the coordinates.

Thank you, says Gaius. 

Terence is looking up at the sky again.

And guess what? Here comes Roo-kai.

They DIED! says Terence.

Roo-kai looks at everyone. 

Gaius has not died. Nor has Denis. And de Freycinet looks like he's getting ready to leave, but not in that way.

Who died? asks Roo-Kai.

The botomists, says Terence.

They must have died in the last few minutes, because I've just seen them, says Roo-kai.

What were they doing? asks Terence.

Sneaking up on a blue swimmer, says Roo-kai.

Maybe it killed them, says Terence.

Who told you they died? asks Roo-kai.

Ageless, says Terence.

How long ago? asks Roo-kai.

Just now, says Terence. But before you got here.

Which means...? prompts Roo-kai.

What DOES it mean? 

Terence is ( perhaps rightly) confused.

Deadly Rivals

Terence stares into the water.

It is clear. There are no botanists there.

Never mind, says Faith. It may be for the best. 

Not for me, says Terence.

Cuttlefish aren't cut out to be botanists, says Faith. 

They're underwater botomists, says Terence. 

But they weren't eating, says Faith. I wonder if they've figured out how to hunt yet.

What if they haven't? asks Terence.

Then they'll die, says Faith. 

Ageless appears behind them.

Seen them? asks Ageless.

No! says Terence. And now they might die.

Want me to go and make sure? asks Ageless.

Yes! says Terence. I mean no.

You mean yes, says Ageless. If they haven't died yet, I'll teach them how to do killing.

Good for you, says Faith. 

Ageless makes his way into the water.

What about your sunnies? asks Faith.

Ageless adjusts his sunglasses to be more like goggles, using the strap.

Clik. Now he can't see anything. But he looks good.

He swims away in the direction of.... anywhere.

He still can't see a thing.

He stops to adjust his sunnies. 

That's better.

Where is he?

The water looks murky.

Jean-Botanist swims by.

Ageless! says Jean-Botanist. Guess what?

You sound like Terence, says Ageless.

How is Terence? asks Jean-Botanist. 

He's waiting for you, says Ageless. 

Perhaps you could give him a message, says Jean-Botanist.

What message? asks Ageless.

We plan to live the rest of our lives as hunters, says Jean-Botanist. We're not coming back.

Not even for the Nachoos? asks Ageless.

Not even for them, says Jean-Botanist.

Carl-Botanist appears in the gloom.

Did you tell him? asks Carl-Botanist.

I told him, says Jean-Botanist.

Fine, says Ageless. Do you know how to hunt though?

Sure we do, says Carl-Botanist. We caught a leatherjacket just now.

And shared it, says Jean-Botanist.

Cuttlefish don't normally cooperate, says Ageless. Just saying.

Meaning what? asks Carl-Botanist.

Meaning you're doing it wrong, says Ageless. There'll come a time when you'll be deadly rivals. Then what?

We will never be deadly rivals, says Carl-Botanist.

Wait till a curvaceous rainbow-tinted beauty catches your eye, says Ageless.

Ha! scoff the botanists.

All right, says Ageless. I'll go and tell Terence you've died.

Why? asks Jean-Botanist. 

Then he'll forget you, says Ageless. 

He won't forget us, says Jean-Botanist.

Won't he? says Ageless.

The botanists look rattled.

Ageless readjusts his goggles and swims away from them.

Serves them right.

Her Beautiful Hands

Back at the campground, Faith is helping Denis come up with a message.

How about this? says Faith. She said she was doing nothing. So you make something up.

About what I think she was doing? asks Denis. 

Yes, says Faith. So she knows you've been thinking of her.

Which I have, says Denis.

There you go then, says Faith. What might she have been doing?

Getting her nails done? says Denis.

What made you think of that? asks Faith.

Her small hands, says Denis.

Hmm, says Faith. 

Does she wear nail polish? asks Faith.

I don't remember, says Denis.

Yet you remember her hands, says Faith. Perhaps that's a starting point.

It might be, agrees Denis.

He is just composing the first words to Henriette in his head when Terence arrives, panting.

Are they back yet? asks Terence.

I thought you were with them, says Faith.

Not them! The botomists! says Terence.

If they are, they'll be somewhere down there in the water, says Faith.

Can I go and look? asks Terence.

I'll come with you, says Faith.

She and Terence go down to the sea, to look for the botanists.

Denis stays behind, typing words into his phone.

Dear Henriette, Naturally I am not convinced you're doing nothing. Do you wear nail polish?

He deletes the last sentence. It won't do. 

Dear Henriette, I can't forget your beautiful hands which remind me of the small hands of my dear Sophie. 

No! that won't do either.

Gaius, Ageless and Louis de Freycinet loom into his field of vision.

He stops composing.

We're back, says Gaius. Where's Terence?

Gone with Faith to see if the botanists have returned, says Denis.

Writing to Henriette? asks Gaius.

Trying, says Denis.

What's the problem? asks Louis de Freycinet.

Our correspondence has faltered, says Denis.

Courage! says de Freycinet.

Good advice, says Gaius. Why not just continue in a natural way. What do you have so far?

Her beautiful hands, says Denis. But I'm not sure how to bring them into the narrative. 

I dream of your beautiful hands, madame, and I beg you to use them to our mutual satisfaction, suggests de Freycinet.

Dare I say that? asks Denis.

I wouldn't, says Gaius.

But Denis is tempted

Tame In Comparison

How far is it? asks Terence.

You know how far it is, says Gaius. 

No I don't, says Terence.

You walked to the lighthouse with me, says Gaius. Now we're walking back. It's the same distance.

But where are we in it? asks Terence.

About half way, says Gaius.

And getting longer, says Terence.

Shorter, says Gaius. 

What shall we talk about? asks Terence.

Ask Ageless, says Gaius.

Okay, says Terence. Come on, Ageless.

What? asks Ageless. 

Talk, says Terence.

I don't feel like talking, says Ageless.

What's up? asks de Freycinet.

Your Rose, says Ageless. She nursed you.

She did, says de Freycinet.

My Kobo couldn't nurse me, says Ageless. Although she's my beloved.

Why not? asks de Freycinet.

No arms, says Ageless. 

There are other ways, says de Freycinet.

Clik clik, agrees Ageless.

Boring, says Terence.

What about you Gaius, asks de Freycinet. Do you have a ladyfriend?

No, no, says Gaius.

He does, says Terence.

And who might that be? asks Gaius.

Margaret, says Terence.

I haven't seen Margaret for years, says Gaius.

Years? asks de Freycinet.

Let me see, says Gaius. The last time was when we borrowed her electric drill to help with constructing some scenery.

Did you return it? asks de Freycinet.

She would have taken it back, says Gaius. She came along, to interfere in what we were doing.

Was I there? asks Terence.

Yes you were there, says Gaius. It was that production of Candide where you and Hedley were drawn over the mountains in a basket, with ropes and pulleys.

 I remember! says Terence. And a ladder!

Fascinating, says de Freycinet. My life is tame in comparison.

Look! says Gaius. There's the campground. Terence, you may run ahead now.

Terence runs ahead, thinking about Hedley and the basket and the ladder, which was a blue ladder.

Ageless, Gaius and de Freycinet continue walking at a reasonable pace.

And no longer talking.

Only Captains Do That

Everyone looks at Ageless.

What? says Ageless.

Lobster Guy will intervene? says Baudin.

How will he intervene? asks de Freycinet.

What does intervene mean? asks Terence.

Stick his oar in, says Baudin.

Terence is none the wiser, but thinks that he is.

I'm sure there'll be no need for that, says Gaius. 

So am I, says Ageless. I simply meant that I'm willing.

Can we go back to the campground and see if they're back yet? asks Terence.

Yes, says Gaius. Will you walk with us, Louis?

I will, says de Freycinet.

Can we walk fast? asks Terence.

At a reasonable pace, says Gaius.

They thank Baudin for the sardines and say farewell.

Come again anytime, says Baudin.

Gaius, Ageless and de Freycinet walk along the trail together.

Terence runs ahead for a while, then stops, for them to catch up.

Why are you doing that, Terence? asks Gaius.

To make you go faster, says Terence.

It's not working, says Ageless.

Stay with us, says Gaius. I know you like talking.

I already talked, says Terence.

Then listen, says Gaius. Louis has been telling us of his adventures.

Okay, says Terence. What adventures?

It was really my wife Rose's adventure, says de Freycinet.

Indeed, says Gaius. She must have been brave.

She loved me, says de Freycinet.

Did she save you from tigers? asks Terence.

No, says de Freycinet. She dressed as a man and came with me on the Uranie.

Woop, says Terence.

It was illegal for women to join naval expeditions, says de Freycinet.

Did she get into trouble? asks Terence. 

Not from me, says de Freycinet. I was the captain. And once we had sailed it was too late for the navy to do anything about it. What times we had. There was even a shipwreck.

A romantic tale, says Gaius. 

Yes, sighs de Freycinet. My dear Rose. And later, she nursed me when I was dying of cholera.

That's devotion, says Gaius.

Did she die of cholera? asks Ageless.

I don't know, says de Freycinet. I had already turned into a lobster.

Did she turn into a lobster? asks Terence.

No, says de Freycinet. Only sea captains do that.

Intervention

 De Freycinet has landed the dinghy, with the aid of his friends.

Come in and rest your old claws, says Baudin.

Thank you, I will, says de Freycinet.

Baudin, de Freycinet and Ageless climb up the rocks to the lighthouse.

Baudin opens a can of sardines. 

Meanwhile Gaius and Terence are walking along the trail to the lighthouse.

And, says Terence, there were millions and millions of of parrots.

On the palace? asks Gaius.

Yes, says Terence. 

Hundreds, surely, says Gaius. 

Maybe not THAT many, says Terence.

Did you make friends with them? asks Gaius.

No, says Terence. They were friends with Saint Joseph. They sat on his things.

Annoying, says Gaius. 

That's not what he said, says Terence.

They have now arrived at the front door of the lighthouse.

Gaius knocks on the door.

Baudin opens.

Come in! says Baudin. De Freycinet's here. He's brought back my dinghy.

We know, says Gaius. We thought we'd walk back with him.

Very kind, says Baudin. I had offered to row him.

Stupid, whispers Terence.

I heard that, says Baudin. It's not stupid. It's good manners.

Do I smell sardines? asks Gaius.

Yes, says Baudin. I've just opened a can. Are you hungry?

I would welcome a sardine or two, says Gaius.

They all go inside.

Any news of the botanists? asks Baudin.

They've gone hunting for their dinner, says Gaius. They hadn't eaten a thing since they hatched.

Without their Nachoos, says Terence. And they might never come back.

They'll come back for their Nachoos, says Baudin.

Terence looks hopeful. 

Then less hopeful. 

How does he know?

Good sailors don't abandon their vessels, says Baudin.

Ha ha! laughs de Freycinet. Sometimes they do.

Terence looks at Ageless, who is eating the final sardine.

What? asks Ageless. 

Do you think they'll come back? asks Terence.

They'll be weighing up their options, says Ageless.

True, says Gaius. Was that the last sardine?

I'll open another can, says Baudin.

What does that mean? asks Terence.

I'll need to do some more shopping, says Baudin.

I meant weighing up their options, says Terence.

Choosing the best course of action, says Ageless. 

What if...? begins Terence.

Lobster Guy will intervene, says Ageless.

Never Nothing

Jean-Botanist and Carl-Botanist divide and share the stunned leatherjacket.

Chomp chomp. This is good!

They know how to survive now.

We don't have to do botany, says Jean-Botanist. We could live like this forever.

As hunters, says Carl-Botanist.

They think about it, for a while.

....

So what's everyone else doing?

Louis de Freycinet is approaching the lighthouse in Baudin's dinghy.

Baudin is watching through an upper window.

Ageless is downstairs, having a nap.

Baudin sees Louis and runs downstairs to tell Ageless that Louis is coming.

Ageless has been dreaming of Kobo. 

Pulling her along a dark beach in a plum box. 

De Freycinet's here with my dinghy! says Captain Baudin. Help me guide him in past the rocks.

Ageless is awake in an instant.

They head down to the rocks.

......

Can we go now? asks Terence.

I suppose so, says Gaius. But we must tell Denis first.

They walk back to Faith's tent where Denis is eating the last of the blueberries.

And discussing what Denis should do.

Her last reply was definitive, says Denis. Nothing.

Not necessarily, says Faith. She may have genuinely been doing nothing.

It gives me nothing to go on, says Denis. Our correspondence is based on exchange of information.

What was she doing before she was doing nothing? asks Faith.

Getting a tattoo, says Denis. Before that, skydiving.

She sounds like an interesting person, says Faith. 

Guess what! says Terence, arriving.

What? asks Faith. Did you let the cuttlefish go?

Yes, says Terence, and we saw Louis de Face-net, and he stopped and swapped dinghies, and now...

...we're thinkng of walking to the lighthouse to accompany him on his way back, says Gaius.

But surely Baudin will row him back here to pick up his dinghy? says Denis.

If he's stupid, says Terence.

If he does the right thing, says Denis.

It's a short walk, says Gaius. If they're planning on rowing, Terence and I will walk back on our own.

Yes! says Terence. Then everyone will have someone to talk to.

Right, says Gaius. Let's go, Terence.

He and Terence start walking towards Lighthouse Drive.

They walk along Lighthouse Drive for a while.

I used to live on a palace, says Terence.

I know that, says Gaius. I was there when you fell.

This is nice. It's not hard to find something to talk about.