Wonky Fish-Blob

I'm going to start drawing the lettuce, says Terence.

Won't it be wonky? asks Little Mystic.

Lettuces are supposed to be wonky, says Terence.

That one looks round, says Little Mystic.

Only because of the bag, says Terence. When lettuces are out of their bag, they look wonky.

Little Mystic believes him. 

Want me to hold the clipboard? asks Little Mystic.

Yes, says Terence.

Terence starts drawing the lettuce.

Okay back there? asks Gaius.

I'm drawing the lettuce, says Terence.

The lettuce? says Gaius. Is this for the sign?

Yes, says Terence. When that girl comes looking for our campsite she'll see the lettuce.

And she'll know where we are, says Gaius.

He glances over his shoulder into the pullalong to see Terence's drawing.

Kerbump!

He goes over a bump in the road.

Wah! cries Terence. My lettuce is ruined!

Are you using the waterproof marker? asks Gaius.

I was, says Terence. 

Vinegar will fix it, says Gaius.

Yay! says Terence.

They arrive at the campsite, near the water.

Let's see it, says Gaius. 

The lettuce looks like a lettuce on one side, but a fish on the other.

How about I just write WE ARE HERE on it, says Gaius. And an arrow.

I was going to draw crossbones, says Terence.

That might confuse things says Gaius.

What are crossbones? asks Little Mystic.

Crossed bones, says Gaius. 

He make a cross with his fingers. 

You go ahead, says Gaius. I'll tear up the lettuce.

Why? asks Terence.

We're going to have it for lunch, says Gaius. With the vinegar, or what remains of the vinegar after Surfing-with-Whales has used it to disinfect his flippers.

Eat the lettuce? says Terence.

What did you think it was for? asks Gaius.

I didn't, says Terence. Lucky I've done this drawing.

Indeed, says Gaius, lifting the lettuce out of the pullalong.

After which, he lifts Terence out, and then Little Mystic.

He goes off to look for something to use as a bowl.

I'll just finish my drawing, says Terence. Then we'll put it next to the road.

He draws crossbones over the lettuce.

What about the words? asks Little Mystic.

I'll make one of the bones look like an arrow, says Terence. We don't any need words.

He makes one of the bones look like an arrow, which is easy.

They take the clipboard to a leatherwood tree near the road. Terence props the clipboard up against the tree.

Then they go back to the campsite.

Surfing-with-Whale arrives at the tree.

He has taken his time because his back tyre feels spongy.

He sees the sign, on the waterproof clipboard.

Oh yeah. A wonky fish-blob.

And an arrow that points the wrong way.

Can't Draw Smells!

Surfing-with-Whales comes out of Patrick's IGA with a waterproof marker.

She made me pay for it, says Surfing-with-Whales.

What did you expect? asks Gaius.

Can I have it? asks Terence.

Yeah, but don't draw a skull and crossbones, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Thought better of it? asks Gaius.

Felicia reckons it'd scare off the crabs, says Surfing-with-Whales.

It's meant to! says Terence.

If the crabs disappear, the maugean skates will go elsewhere, says Gaius.

Where? asks Terence.

That's what we won't know, says Gaius.

Maybe we don't need the waterproof clipboard, says Surfing-with-Whales. Felicia says she knows the spot where they released some baby skates a few months ago.

Excellent! says Gaius.

Bumhole! says Terence.

What's a bumhole? asks Little Mystic.

A hole in your bum! says Terence. I said it because I'm not allowed to draw a skull and crossbones.

Felicia comes out of the IGA.

I finish my shift at midday, says Felicia. After that I could show you the spot.

Ripper! says Surfing-with-Whales.

Thank you, Felicia, says Gaius. Shall we meet you back here ?

Where's your camp? asks Felicia.

Not far down the road, says Gaius, pointing.

Close to the water, says Surfing-with-Whales.

I'll find you, says Felicia.

She goes back inside.

What if she can't find us? asks Terence.

Why don't you make a sign? says Gaius. You could draw something distinctive on the waterproof clipboard, and prop it against a tree at the side of the road.

I can't draw smells! says Terence.

Distinctive means something to show that it's us, says Gaius. I'm sure you'll come up with some relevant pictures.

Yeah, says Surfing-with-Whales. Let's get going. Don't start drawing till we get back to camp. 

Gaius lifts Terence and Little Mystic into the pullalong with the clipboards and the lettuce and vinegar.

Surfing-with-Whales throws in the goggles and flippers, and they get going.

Why can't we start? asks Little Mystic.

The drawings would be wonky, says Terence. But we can start thinking.

Terence and Little Mystic look around the pullalong for inspiration.

How about that lettuce? asks Little Mystic. Felicia knows Gaius bought it.

Terence is about to say no, not the lettuce, when he has a brilliant idea.

A lettuce and crossbones!

Scare Them Off

Can I carry my clipboard? asks Terence.

Certainly, says Gaius. 

Can I draw on it? asks Terence.

Not yet, says Gaius. It's to record important information. Numbers only.

You can start drawing on mine, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Yay! says Terence. Little Mystic can help me.

I can't draw, says Little Mystic.

You can hold the clipboard while I draw the skull and crossbones, says Terence.

Okay, says Little Mystic. Are we starting right now?

Yes, says Terence. Who's got a pencil?

A pencil's no good, says Surfing-with-Whales. You need a waterproof marker.

You'd better go back into the IGA and buy one, says Gaius.

Surfing-with-Whales goes back in.

Forgotten something? asks Felicia.

I'm going to need a waterproof marker, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Over there, on aisle four, says Felicia.

Surfing-with-Whales goes to aisle four and picks up a waterproof marker.

He takes it back to the counter.

Six ninety five, says Felicia.

How about including it in the price of the waterproof clipboard? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

Your friend paid for that, says Felicia.

So do it for him, says Surfing-with-Whales. He's on an important mission.

What mission? asks Felicia.

Counting maugean skates, says Surfing-with-Whales. They're endangered.

I know, says Felicia. They recently released some baby ones not far from here.

Yeah? says Surfing-with-Whales. Mind showing us where?

Maybe, says Felicia. Is the mission to check up on the babies, or just to do a random check on skate numbers in Macquarie Harbour?

Dunno, says Surfing-with-Whales. I'm just the diver. 

But you need a waterproof clipboard to record the numbers, says Felicia.

No, Terence is doing that, says Surfing-with-Whales.

That little kid? says Felicia. He doesnt look like he ought to be allowed in the water.

He isn't, says Surfing-with-Whales. He's going to draw a skull and crossbones on my waterproof clipboard so that..... 

Go on, says Felicia. You'll be using my goggles, so I'm kind of interested.

Okay, to show the bottom-dwelling-crabs our intentions, says Surfing-with-Whales. The crabs are what skates feed on.

A skull and crossbones will just scare them off, says Felicia.

Surfing-with-Whales thinks about this. 

Felicia is right.

What The Ex Boyfriend Had

This is my daughter, Felicia, says Patrick. 

Who's buying my old goggles and flippers? asks Felicia.

Me, says Surfing-with-Whales. But I'll try 'em on first.

He adjusts the goggle straps, and tries on the goggles.

All good, except for one thing.

I'll give them a clean, if you buy them, says Felicia.

Okay, let me try on the flippers, says Surfing-with-Whales.

She hands him the flippers.

They should fit you better than me, says Felicia.

Too big were they? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

They were my boyfriend's, says Felicia. 

How come you're selling them? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

We broke up, says Felicia.

Did he have toe fungus? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

Not that I noticed, says Felicia. Why are you asking?

His feet were inside these flippers, says Surfing-with-Whales.

So were mine, says Felicia. And so were dad's once or twice.

Maybe I won't buy the flippers, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Make up your mind, says Gaius. Time's a-wasting. But I should point out that vinegar is an effective disinfectant.

Okay, says Surfing-with-Whales. How much do you want for the goggles and flippers?

Twenty dollars, says Felicia.

That's not including the vinegar, says Patrick. Vinegar's over there on aisle two. 

I'll get the vinegar, says Gaius. And a lettuce, while I'm about it.

He heads to aisle two, picks up a bottle of vinegar and returns via the fruit and veg department with a bagged iceberg lettuce.

I'll take these and the fish socks, says Gaius. Plus two clipboards. My colleague will pay for the goggles and flippers.

Can you lend me a twenty? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

Sorry, no cash, says Gaius.

I want cash, says Felicia. 

So Surfing with Whales is obliged to use his mum's credit card to get a cash advance to pay Felicia for her ex boyfriend's goggles and flippers.

But basically, everyone's got what they wanted.

Quantum Patricks

It's easy to find Patrick's IGA.

It has Patrick's IGA on the front in large letters.

This will be it, says Gaius. It looks well-stocked and colourful.

They leave their bikes and the pullalong outside and go in.

Surfing-with-Whales heads straight for the counter.

Got any goggles and flippers?

Sorry, no, says the person behind the counter who could be, but may not be, Patrick.

Know where I could get them?

Er...um, hmm.... says may-not-be-Patrick.

So that's a no, says Surfing with Whales. What about clipboards?

Clipboards I can do, says may-not-be Patrick.

(To save words, let's call him not-Patrick).

We're a newsagency as well as an IGA , says not-Patrick.

Cool, says Surfing-with-Whales. I'll take two, one waterproof and one normal.

You going diving? asks not-Patrick.

When I get the goggles and flippers, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Terence comes up to the counter.

Guess what?

What? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

Gaius is buying fish socks! says Terence.

The fish socks are very popular, says not-Patrick.

Am I getting a clipboard? asks Terence.

Yeah, they have clipboards , but not goggles and flippers, says Surfing-with-Whales.

My daughter has some she never uses, says not-Patrick. She might be persuaded to sell them.

What size feet does she have? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

Quite big ones, says not-Patrick. Wait here.

Not-Patrick goes out the back to look for his daughter's old goggles and flippers.

Which may indicate that he is in fact Patrick.

But to be on the safe side, let's continue to call him not-Patrick.

Gaius comes up to the counter with orange fish socks.

How do you like these? asks Gaius. 'Gone fishing' socks. Pity they're orange.

They'll be easy to find, says Surfing-with-Whales..

Not too loud? asks Gaius.

Not-Patrick returns with his daughter, who is carrying a plastic bag containing goggles and flippers.

She is not a large person, but her goggles and flippers are big.

How Do I Know?

Is it morning? asks Little Mystic.

Yes, says Terence. 

Did I go to sleep? asks Little Mystic.

Yes, says Terence.

So what's going to happen? says Little Mystic.

Everything, says Terence. We're buying goggles and flippers and a clipboard today. Maybe two clipboards.

Maybe? says Little Mystic.

Probably, says Terence. Wake up everybody!

Gaius wakes up, under his tree.

Arh-ugh! says Gaius, rubbing his shoulder. What time is it?

Morning, says Terence. 

So it is, says Gaius.

He shakes Surfing-with-Whales, who is still asleep under the blanket.

Whaa..? says Surfing-with-Whales. Morning already?

It is, says Gaius. I believe you're planning to buy goggles and flippers today.

And two clipboards, says Terence.

I think one would suffice, says Gaius.

Surfing-with-Whales stands up. 

What's for breakfast?

There's one apple, says Gaius. And a scrape of peanut butter in the bottom of the jar.

I feel like coffee and a muffin, says Surfing-with-Whales. I'm heading into Strahan. Who's coming?

We'll all go, says Gaius. Now that you've mentioned coffee and a muffin.

Let's go! says Terence. 

They grab their bikes, and with Terence and Little Mystic in the pullalong, head into Strahan.

They stop at the Coffee Shack, opposite the cruise departure terminal.

The Coffee Shack is full of salmon fishery workers, eating muffins.

Surfing-with-Whales orders a spinach and feta muffin, and a flat white.

Gaius orders the same for himself, plus a red drink for Terence.

They sit down near a table of salmon fishery workers.

Tourists? asks one of the salmon fishery workers.

No, says Gaius. Ecologists. Checking on numbers of maugean skates.

Good luck with that, says the salmon fishery worker.

Thank you, says Gaius. I don't suppose you've seen any recently?

The salmon fishery workers laugh, and keep eating their muffins.

Anyone know where I can buy goggles and flippers? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

And two clipboards, says Terence.

And socks, says Gaius, remembering he's short of a sock.

Try Patrick's IGA, says the salmon fishery worker. Anyhow, gotta go. Shift starts in fifteen minutes.

The salmon fishery workers get up and leave.

Helpful, says Gaius.

Never seen goggles and flippers in an IGA, says Surfing-with-Whales.

No, says Gaius. Perhaps he just meant us to ask there.

Makes sense, says Surfing-with-Whales. Okay let's go.

NOW everything's going to happen, says Terence.

I believe you, says Little Mystic. Do you think Patrick's IGA will sell socks?

How do I know? says Terence.

Crabs Go Oo-lay-o

Nightfall.

Gaius makes himself comfortable under a tree.

Surfing-with-Whales looks for his blanket.

Where could it be?

He looks into the pullalong.

And there is the blanket.

Little Mystic is curled up in the corner.

Move yourself, says Surfing-with-Whales. I need the blanket.

Okay, says Little Mystic. I don't mind shivering.

Sorry, says Surfing-with-Whales. But I do. 

Little Mystic moves off the blanket.

I'll get Terence, says Surfing-with-Whales.

He calls Terence. 

What? asks Terence.

Little Mystic is cold, says Surfing-with-Whales, and I've taken the blanket.

That's MEAN, says Terence. You should take him as well.

I don't want to roll over on him, says Surfing-with-Whales. Why don't you keep him company.

Okay, says Terence.

Surfing-with-Whales lifts Terence into the pullalong and heads off with the blanket, to find a good tree. 

I'm here, says Terence.

Sing to me, says Little Mystic.

Terence is flattered. He is not often asked.

Okay, says Terence. Close your eyes and I'll sing you a song of what's going to happen.

I'd like that, says Little Mystic. Then I'll know what's going to happen.

You might not, says Terence.

Why not? asks Little Mystic. 

You might fall asleep, says Terence.

I won't, says Little Mystic.

Terence starts singing his song about what's going to happen:

in the morning, we will go

to buy a clipboard

oo-lay-o

I'll draw a skull and crossbones

on the clipboard

oo-lay-o

Surfing-with-Whales will dive with the clipboard and show

it to crabs

oo-lay-o

and the crabs will go 

oo-lay o

we don't know

and we've lost our brother, where did he go?

oo-lay-o

and Surfing-with-Whales will say

that is something I know

oo-lay-o

if you show me the skates, where they go,

I will show you your brother 

in a sock full of cabbage 

oo-lay-o....

Terence stops singing.

Then what? asks Little Mystic.

I thought you'd be sleeping by now, says Terence.

It's too thrilling, says Little Mystic.