A Series Of Fortunate Events

Prong doesn't know what a handbag should look like.

Hand...bag. She breaks the word down.

A bag full of hands? 

But there's a glass leaf in this one. In a small box.

She sneaks past the humans, who are still talking.

What's for dessert? asks Gaius.

A pavlova, says Minnie. Topped with strawberries, passionfruit and cream.

Do you need any help with it? asks Margaret.

Yes, Marg, says Minnie. Perhaps you could whip up the cream.

Okay Min, says Margaret.

She stands up and goes to fridge.

Prong is watching.

Waak! This human is going to whip up some cream.

Margaret takes a carton from the fridge, a whizzer from a drawer and a bowl from a cupboard..

She tips the contents of the carton into the bowl and starts whizzing the cream with the whizzer.

WHIZZWHIZZWHIZZWHIZZZZZZZZ.

What a horrible noise.

Urgh! says Margaret. I'm all splattered.

Shall I find you a cloth? asks Gaius. 

There'll be tissues in my handbag, says Margaret.

Aha! A handbag.

Prong follows Gaius to a handbag that has been left on a chair.

Is this it? asks Gaius. 

No, that's Katherine's, says Margaret. Mine's over there.

Prong now knows the location of Katherine's handbag.

She knows the glass leaf is inside.

But time has been ticking.

Terence and Katherine have come back inside.

Terence looks for Prong, to tell her he's calling off the mission, because Katherine knows what it is, so the mission is pointless.

He spies Prong.

It's in here! says Prong. I was just about to get it. 

Don't do it, says Terence. I'm calling it off.

Does that mean I've failed? asks Prong.

Not at all, says Katherine. It's perfect timing. You found its location, but didn't rummage about in my handbag.

So I've got the job? asks Prong.

I didn't get the glass leaf, says Terence. So not yet. 

Nonsense, says Katherine. I'll take it out myself, so Prong can complete her mission.

That's cheating, says Terence.

Or a series of fortunate events, says Katherine. 

Yes No Meaning Yes

Are you staying outside? asks Prong.

Yes, says Terence. I'll wait here while you find the glass leaf.

Okay, I'm going in, says Prong.

Don't let them see you, says Terence.

What if they do? asks Prong.

Make up a story, says Terence. They'll probably believe it.

Here goes, says Prong.

She sneaks into the house and hides behind Minnie's curtains.

She listens.

Terence is taking a long time, says one of the humans.

I'll go and check on him, says another.

Margaret stands up and goes to the front door.

All right, Terence?

Yes, says Terence. I'm just waiting for something.

What? asks Margaret. If your parrot hasn't come yet it's a safe bet she's not coming.

I'll wait five more minutes, says Terence.

Prong hears him say five more minutes.

Waak! That's not long.

And she still doesn't even know which human is Katherine.

Margaret goes back to the table. 

No parrot, says Margaret. But he wants to wait five more minutes.

Funny kid, says Katherine. I might go and wait with him.

That's kind of you Katherine, says Minnie. I'll hold off on dessert.

Prong now knows which human is Katherine. 

The one who is going to wait outside with Terence. 

A small complication.

Katherine goes outside.

Why did you come out here? asks Terence.

I thought I'd wait with you for five minutes, says Katherine. Any sign of the parrot?

Yes... no, says Terence.

Katherine knows Terence's answers.

I think that's a yes, says Katherine. Where is she?

Inside, says Terence. Having a try-out.

How thrilling, says Katherine. What have you asked her to do?

Get me something, says Terence.

Anything? asks Katherine.

No, says Terence. Something. And don't ask more questions or you'll ruin it.

Is it something of mine? asks Katherine.

But Terence is not going to answer.

Something of Gaius's? asks Katherine.

No, says Terence.

My glass leaf? says Katherine.

Bumhole! says Terence.

No need for that language, says Katherine. 

But you ruined it, says Terence.

Call off the try-out, says Katherine. I don't want a parrot rummaging about in my handbag.

Prong has been listening.

She knows which human is Katherine, and where the glass leaf is.

In Katherine's handbag.

Now she must find the handbag before Terence calls off the whole thing.

I Like Spying

It isn't a possum outside

It's a parrot. 

Are you Prong? asks Terence.

Are you Terence? asks Prong.

Yes, says Terence. Come in.

I might not, says Prong. I just want to ask a few questions.

Did your dad send you ? asks Terence. 

He didn't SEND me, says Prong.

Okay, says Terence. If you were my parrot, could I send you?

No, says Prong. Unless I decided to go.

Where? asks Terence.

Where you wanted to send me, says Prong.

What if you didn't? asks Terence.

You'd have to go by yourelf, says Prong.

What did you want to ask me? asks Terence.

At last, says Prong. I thought you'd never stop asking questions.

I've stopped, says Terence. 

What's the job? asks Prong. 

The job is being my parrot, says Terence. Flying back to get things. Maybe spying.

I like spying, says Prong.

Do you want to have a try-out? asks Terence.

Okay, says Prong. Do I get paid for the try-out?

No, says Terence. You already had a protein ball. 

So that's what it was, says Prong.

This is your task, says Terence. Go inside and find Katherine's glass leaf and bring it to me.

I never heard of a glass leaf, says Prong. 

It's for  the fallen, says Terence. So don't drop it. It stays in the box.

How am I meant to carry a box? asks Prong.

It's a small box, says Terence.

And where is Katherine? aks Prong.

Inside eating beef pie, says Terence.

Prong looks into the house. She can smell the beef pie.

There are four humans at the table, eating and talking.

One of them must be Katherine, whose glass leaf Prong must find, and bring to Terence in its box without dropping it.

Sounds problematic. 

But Prong is up for the challenge.

 

It Might Be A Possum

Terence goes back inside. 

I don't think she's coming, says Terence.

She may turn up in the morning, says Minnie. Would you like some beef pie?

I'm not allowed, says Terence. 

Of course, sorry, says Minnie. What will you have then?

A red drink, says Terence. And tomato sauce on a plate.

The others are already eating the beef pie, at the kitchen table.

Excellent pie, says Gaius. 

Delicious, says Katherine.

Ages since I've made one, says Minnie.

Minnie sets a plate of tomato sauce before Terence, the sauce in the shape of a heart.

Thank you, says Terence. Is it a parrot?

No it's a heart, says Minnie.

Can it be a parrot? asks Terence.

Just eat it, says Margaret. Someone give him a spoon.

Minnie gives Terence a spoon.

He uses it to draw parrot legs on the heart.

And a beak like a prong.

What are the plans for tomorrow? asks Minnie. 

I'd like to visit the National Gallery, says Katherine. 

You'll love it, says Minnie. Shall I come too?

Yes, do, says Katherine.

Gaius and I are going to edit the frog video, says Margaret.

We can do that tonight, says Gaius. Tomorrow I should like to return to Mawson Ponds. It occurs to me that I only made contact with two bell frogs. There must surely be others.

I'm waiting here for my parrot, says Terence. 

Scraatch scraatch! 

Do I hear a scratching sound? asks Minnie.

Terence runs to the front door.

Look out through the window! says Minnie. It might be a possum.

This is a good idea.

It might be a possum.

Terence looks out through the window.

There is something small moving behind one of the flower pots.

It could still be a possum.

Terence can see bits sticking out.

The bits appear, twitch and retreat behind the flower pot.

Do possums twitch? asks Terence.

No, says Gaius. 

And Gaius would know.

So it can't be a possum.

Terence opens the door.

Red Feathery Trousers

Terence goes back inside.

Minnie is placing the beef pie into the oven.

Forty minutes, says Minnie.

Guess what? asks Terence.

Tell us, says Katherine. 

I might be getting a parrot, says Terence.

The one who just left? asks Gaius. 

No, a girl one, says Terence. A girl one called Prong.

She will be duller, says Gaius.

Gaius! says Katherine.

In colouring, says Gaius. The female superb parrot is a duller green than the male, with red thighs and pink patches on the tail feathers.

Red thighs! says Minnie. Sounds alarming.

It does, says Katherine. Who knew parrots had thighs?

Chickens do, says Margaret.

Must be tiny, says Katherine.

What are thighs? asks Terence.

These, says Katherine, patting hers.

They are tiny, says Gaius.

Thank you Gaius, says Katherine.

I didn't mean yours, Katherine, says Gaius. But if Terence does get a female parrot, we shall see for ourselves.

We shouldn't all stare at them, says Margaret.

No we shouldn't, says Minnie. Are they red all over?

No, just at the top, says Gaius. Like little red feathery trousers.

Terence is not sure he wants a girl parrot with little red feathery trousers.

When will she be coming? asks Katherine.

When her dad tells her to come, says Terence. When he sees her.

And he's sure that she'll come? asks Minnie.

No, he isn't but I am, says Terence.

Perhaps we should make sure she knows that she's welcome, says Minnie. Let's leave a protein ball on the front step near the flower pots.

Yes! says Terence.

Minnie goes to the pantry and returns with a protein ball, covered in seeds.

This might have made Terence sad, remembering Prawny trying a seed once and almost bouncing.

But he's forgotten all that.

He takes the protein ball and places it outside near a flower pot.

Inside, the beef pie is heating, delightful scents wafting into the garden.

Delightful to some. Not to parrots.

Terence closes the door. 

The sky darkens. 

And Prong does not come.

A Parrot Called Prong

Can I go outside? asks Terence.

What for? asks Gaius.

To talk to the parrot, says Terence.

Is it the one from this morning? asks Minnie.

Yes, says Terence.

Let him in, says Minnie.

Terence opens the front door and the superb parrot flies in.

Hello all, says the parrot. How's Prawny doing?

Badly, says Terence.

Could he use another lesson? asks the parrot.

No, says Terence. 

Tell the parrot what happened, says Katherine.

What's that smell? asks the parrot.

Beef pie filling, says Minnie. With plenty of onion.

Disgusting, says the parrot. I might go back outside.

Prawny drowned, says Terence.

That shouldn't have happened, says the parrot.

He was being a hostage and he got too hot waiting, says Terence.

And jumped into the water and drowned, says Gaius.

No prawn should drown, says the parrot. 

He lost his tail, says Terence.  

That would not have helped, says the parrot. Were there bell frogs nearby?

Yes, says Gaius. Two of them. They tried to be helpful.

I bet, says the parrot. Well, I'm off now. Goodbye.

See him out will you Terence? says Minnie.

Okay, says Terence.

Terence and the parrot go out to the front of the house.

Don't go yet, says Terence. I want to ask you  something.

What? asks the parrot.

Something important, says Terence.

WHAT? asks the parrot. I'm quite busy.

Where is your eldest? asks Terence.

Prong? says the parrot. How should I know?

Would he like a job? asks Terence.

She, says the parrot. 

Would she? asks Terence.

How did you know I have an eldest? asks the parrot.

You gave Prawny two of her feathers, says Terence.

So I did, says the parrot. Much good they did him.

He liked them, says Terence.

I guess that's something, says the parrot. 

Ask her, says Terence.

If I see her, says the parrot.

Thanks, says Terence.

The superb parrot flies off, leaving Terence optimistic.

Yes! He's getting a parrot called Prong.

Something To Ask A Parrot

Gaius and Katherine pick up their bikes and cycle back to Minnie's.

Terence is in Katherine's basket.

Now I'll never have a parrot, says Terence.

Prawny wouldn't have made a good parrot, says Katherine. 

I know, says Terence. 

He couldn't fly, says Katherine.

Only float, says Terence.

Not even that, says Katherine. He sank to the bottom.

I know, says Terence. I should have saved him.

You weren't there, says Katherine. And you're not allowed in the water.

I know, says Terence.

His last days were nothing if not eventful, says Katherine. And that's thanks to you.

This cheers Terence up a little, but he would still like a parrot.

They arrive at Minnie's.

Minnie and Margaret are in the kitchen, cooking a pie.

Minnie is stirring something in a saucepan.

Margaret is rolling out dough.

Something smells good, says Gaius.

A beef pie, says Minnie. Should be ready in a hour.

Sit down, says Margaret. Tell us what happened.

Prawny was dead when we got there, says Terence.

Drowned, says Gaius. The frogs tried to save him.

Gaius filmed it, says Katherine. And the memorial poems that followed.

So we can always remember Prawny, says Terence.

Let's see, says Minnie. Stir this for me, Margaret.

I can't, my hands are all floury, says Margaret.

I'll do it, says Katherine. 

Gaius shows Minnie the video.

The bell frogs diving in, bringing up Prawny, the pre-picked grass pile, the new grass pile, the covering of Prawny, the poems.

Why was there a pre-cut grass pile? asks Minnie.

That will be edited out, says Gaius.

That still doesn't explain it, says Minnie.

I kicked Prawny back in, says Terence. So Gaius could film him being rescued.

So it's fake, says Minnie.

If you like, says Gaius. But at least we have a record.

Yes, says Terence. And Prawny wanted me to do it.

I thought Prawny was dead, says Minnie.

He always wanted to be rescued twice, says Terence. 

Oh, did he? says Minnie. 

She goes back to stirring the pie filling.

Shall I make a pot of tea? asks Katherine. 

Yes, do that, says Minnie.

Terence goes across to the window to see if the red spots are still there from this morning.

They are.

Outside, in Minnie's front garden, he sees a bird land in a tree.

It looks like the superb parrot who gave Prawny his wings.

Terence waves at the superb parrot.

The superb parrot doesn't see him waving.

Terence raps on the window. 

Rap! Rap!

The superb parrot flies down past the window, and lands on the mat at the front door.

It has something it wants to ask Terence.

Which is good.

Because Terence has something to ask the superb parrot.