Worse, Without It

 Margaret has gone to sleep in her bed in the middle.

Katherine has got into the bed on the end.

Gaius is sitting on his bed near the window.

When are you going to bed? asks Terence.

When the ladies are asleep, says Gaius.

They ARE asleep, says Terence.

What will you do? asks Gaius.

Colouring, says Terence. 

Would you like to do it by the window? asks Gaius. I could move the table.

Yes, says Terence. I like being near the window.

Gaius moves the table across to the window. 

A small table, but it squeaks on the tiles.

Margaret is roused from her sleep by the squeaking.

What was that? wonders Margaret

Then: Where am I ? 

Then: Oh yes, in a motel room with Katherine and Gaius.

Perhaps that noise was Gaius getting up to go to the toilet. 

In his underwear. 

Or worse. Without it.

Dare I look?

No that would mean turning over.

She looks across at Katherine whose eyes are wide open.

She'll have seen something.

Margret tries to go back to sleep. 

You've woken Margaret, says Katherine.

Curses, says Gaius. It was the table. Sorry Margaret.

That is perfectly all right, says Margaret.

Should she turn over? It's now or never.

Ah! Gaius is still in his day clothes.

I'm just setting Terence up for the night, says Gaius. He plans to colour the bell frog by the window.

Quietly, I hope, says Katherine.

So do I, says Terence. Can you hear this?

He starts on the eye.

No, says Katherine.

Nor me, says Margaret.

Are you going to bed now, Gaius? asks Katherine. 

I'm not getting into it, says Gaius. It may be too hot, and I don't want to dirty the sheets.

Don't tell me you're going to sleep in your clothes, says Katherine.

Nothing wrong with that, says Gaius. I'll take my clogs off, and cover my feet with a towel.

Both Margaret and Katherine have their own thoughts about this.

They soon fall asleep though, being tired.

Gaius turns the light out and lies down on his bed. 

All is quiet.

Terence finishes the eye, by the light of the moon coming in through the window.

Now what? This will be a long night.

Now She Doesn't

They return to room ten, and its three single beds.

It's been a long day, says Margaret. I think I'll turn in right away.

Me too, says Katherine. But first, we should choose which bed we're having.

Which one are you having Gaius? asks Margaret.

Whichever one's left, says Gaius.

Have the one next to the window, says Terence. 

Very well, says Gaius. 

I'll take the one in the middle, says Margaret.

Next to him! says Terence. 

I could take it, says Katherine.

It matters little to me, says Gaius. I sleep soundly.

Margaret goes off to the bathroom, with her toothbrush and pyjamas.

Katherine sits on the bed near the door, awaiting her turn.

Gaius takes the black pen out of his pocket and strokes the tip with his finger.

Is it working? asks Terence.

No, says Gaius. I need something like a wedge of lemon.

You're in luck, Gaius, says Katherine.

She hands him a wedge of lemon.

Where did that come from? asks Gaius.

Your surf and turf, says Katherine. I thought, as we were leaving the restaurant, that it might fix the pen.

Most ingenious, Katherine, says Gaius. 

He pokes the tip of the black pen into the wedge of lemon.

And tries it again on his finger.

Let's see! says Terence.

Gaius shows him the squiggle he has drawn with the pen.

Yippee! cries Terence.

Margaret comes out of the bathroom, smelling nice.

Gaius has fixed the pen, says Katherine.

Well done, says Margaret.

Katherine had the presence of mind to save a wedge of lemon, says Gaius.

Did she? says Margaret. I didn't see lemon wedges on our dinner.

It was on GAIUS'S! says Terence.

Margaret raises her eyebrows.

Katherine picks up her pyjamas and heads to the bathroom.

Well night-night, says Margaret, getting into her bed in the middle.

Good night Margaret, says Gaius. I hope I don't disturb you when I get into bed.

I shall be fast asleep, says Margaret.

So you won't see him in his pyjamas, says Terence.

She wouldn't anyway, says Gaius. I didn't bring pyjamas.

Yikes, says Terence. Are you going to sleep in your undies?

No, says Gaius.

He doesn't want Margaret to think he plans to sleep in his undies.

And now she doesn't.

The Dud Pen

Terence returns to the table.

I nearly got a black pen, says Terence.

What do you mean nearly? asks Katherine.

They kept it, says Terence.

Those people you were talking to? asks Katherine.

Yes them, says Terence. Look what they did to my prawn.

Katherine peers at Terence's potato spun prawn.

It has eyes! says Katherine. Look, Margaret.

Margaret looks at the eyes. So does Gaius.

Did you ask them to do it? asks Gaius.

No, says Terence. I asked them if they had a black pen.

It will probably have ruined their pen, says Gaius.

Perhaps you should go across and apologise, says Katherine.

I? says Gaius.

You've finished your dinner, says Katherine. Margaret and I are still struggling.

All right, says Gaius. 

He stands up and walks over to Gerald and the woman.

I've just come to thank you for drawing eyes on our young friend's potato spun prawn, says Gaius. Did it ruin your pen?

We don't think so, says Gerald.

Meaning you havn't tested the pen? asks Gaius. 

No, we haven't, says the woman. Perhaps we should, Gerald.

She takes it out of her handbag.

How shall I test it? asks the woman.

On this paper napkin, says Gerald.

She tries to write something with the pen on the paper napkin.

And fails.

Try spitting on it, says Gerald.

No, Gerald! says the woman. That's disgusting. I'll just have to throw it away.

In that case I must apologise, says Gaius.

Not at all, says the woman. It's all Gerald's fault, really.

Yes it is, says Gerald. Think nothing of it.

May I have the pen, if you're throwing it away? asks Gaius. If I get it working, I'll return it. Are you staying at the motel?

Yes, we are says the woman. That's very kind of you.

I have my own reasons, says Gaius. If I do get it working, young Terence can use it to blacken the eyes of a green and golden bell frog he's colouring.

O how charming! says the woman. I hope you do get it working.

Thank you, says Gaius. I'll let you know in the morning.

He takes the dud pen back to the table, to tell Terence the news.

A Prawn's Life

Is this for the little one? asks the server.

Yes, says Margaret.

The server places a plate before Terence.

On the plate is his potato spun prawn.

Gaius, Margaret and Katherine eye it sideways.

Where's the prawn? asks Terence.

Wrapped inside the strings of potato, says Katherine. There, see its tail?

Where's its head? asks Terence.

It's probably been cut off, says Gaius. I wonder how they do the potato?

They use a potato curler, says Katherine. Then wrap it round and round the prawn and deep fry it.

Hello little prawn, says Terence, I'm not going to eat you. 

The little prawn has had enough things go wrong in its life to appreciate this concession, if that were possible.

After dinner I'll show you my frog picture, says Terence.

It won't be able to see it, says Katherine. No eyes.

Not to mention it's been deep fried, says Margaret. 

The two spaghetti bolognaises arrive at this moment.

Which shuts up the two ladies.

The surf and turf''s coming, says the server.

She goes away and comes back with Gaius's dinner.

A steak with three prawns arranged on it.

This is not what I expected, says Gaius, when the server has left.

What did you expect? asks Margaret.

Perhaps a steak stuffed with crayfish, says Gaius.

Are you going to eat them? asks Terence.

Yes, says Gaius. I am.

Boo! says Terence. They could have been best friends with my prawn.

Gaius gobbles the prawns and then starts on his steak.

See that? says Terence. He ate your best friends.

But no, his prawn did not see. 

Terence watches the grownups eat their dinner.

How long will they take? 

Can I get down? asks Terence. 

What for? asks Gaius.

To look around, says Terence.

I suppose so, says Gaius.

Terence grabs his potato spun prawn and gets down from the table.

The potato spun prawn is still warm.

Terence walks across to the next table where two people are dining.

Hello, little boy, says the woman. 

Have you got a black pen? asks Terence.

I do, says the woman. I keep one in my handbag. Why? Do you need it?

Yes, says Terence. For two things.

What are they? asks the woman.

Eyes, says Terence.

He probably wants to draw eyes on his potato spun prawn, says the man.

What makes you think that, Gerald? asks the woman.

He's not eating it, says Gerald.

Is that why you want it? asks the woman.

No, says Terence. I mean yes, that's why I want it.

Your prawn's greasy, says the woman. It'll ruin my pen.

Only the outside is greasy, says Terence.

He's right, says Gerald. I believe it could be done cleanly.

Oh, all right, says the woman. Will you let Gerald do it?

Yay! says Terence, giving Gerald the prawn.

Gerald takes the pen from the woman, and inserts the tip into the top of the potato spun prawn.

He draws two beady eyes on the place where the prawn was beheaded.

Potato Spun Prawn

Six o'clock, in Narrandera..

Margaret pulls up at the Gateway Motor Inn.

They get out of the car and enter Reception.

Welcome! says the person in Reception. Do you have a booking?

Yes, says Margaret. For a triple.

I see there are four of you, says the person in Reception. Are you wanting an upgrade?

Are there three single beds? asks Gaius.

Yes, says Reception.

Then no, says Gaius. Three beds will suffice. This boy doesn't sleep.

Reception looks hard at the boy, who is Terence.

What does he do then? asks Reception.

I look out of the window, says Terence. 

Fine, says Reception, as long as you don't disturb the other guests.

If I'm bored I'll finish my frog, says Terence,

What's this about a frog? asks Reception.

It's an illustration, says Katherine. Would you happen to have a black pen we could borrow?

We no longer use pens in Reception, says Reception.

But surely you have your own personal pen, says Margaret.

It's a blue one, says Reception. So, sorry. Is there anything else I can help you with before I give you the door card?

Where can we get dinner? asks Katherine.

We have our own restaurant, the Lazy Lizard, very popular with the locals, says Reception. Shall I book you in?

Please do, says Katherine.

Reception books them in to the Lazy Lizard and gives Margaret the door card.

Room ten, says Reception.

They head off to Room ten.

Dump their things. 

And make their way to the Lazy Lizard, where they are shown to a table.

Margaret, Katherine and Gaius look at the menu.

Potato spun prawns, says Gaius. What can they be?

Can I have one? asks Terence.

No, says Katherine. Red drink only.

I won't eat it, says Terence.

All right, says Katherine. At least we'll see what it is.

As for me, says Margaret I'll have the spaghetti bolognaise.

Me too, says Katherine.

Gaius feels he should have something different. 

Surf and turf. What could that be?

Margaret goes up to the counter to order.

Returns with three beers and a red drink.

Am I getting a potato spun prawn? asks Terence.

Yes, says Margaret. 

Terence tries to imagine what it might be.

In Warty Blotches

The frog's eye isn't ruined, says Gaius. 

But I don't have a black, says Terence.

Use my pencil, says Gaius. And press hard. But not too hard or you'll go though the paper.

Just keep going over it and over it, says Katherine.

Terence takes Gaius's pencil.

He darkens the frog's eye.

He can still see the yellow line underneath it.

He does some more shading.

How does it look? asks Gaius.

Good, says Terence. See?

Gaius looks at the dark grey eye with a trace of yellow running through it.

That's better, says Gaius. 

Let me see, says Katherine.

Terence hands the frog illustration to Katherine in the front seat.

Hmm, says Katherine. What you really need is a black pen.

I knew it, says Terence. 

We'll get one in Narrandera, says Katherine.

The shops will be closed, says Margaret.

At the motel, says Katherine. They're bound to have one.

Yay! says Terence. Hear that Froggy? Your black eye is coming. 

Meanwhile you may as well colour the rest of its body, says Gaius.

I'll start on the blotches, says Terence.

He hands Gaius the lead pencil and takes a brown one from his box of coloureds.

Are the blotches supposed to be blotchy? asks Terence.

There's an intelligent question, says Katherine. Are they?

The upper blotches are generally smooth and shiny, says Gaius. The lower blotches are warty.

Woo! says Terence. Two kinds of blotches.

Do the warty ones first, says Katherine. 

Why? asks Terence.

It won't matter if Margaret hits a rock or another dead possum, says Katherine.

I'm doing my best, mutters Margaret.

I didn't mean that, says Katherine. But a few bumps won't affect warty blotches.

It might make them better, says Terence.

We'll see, says Margaret. Have you started?

Yes, says Terence. 

He is soon covering the lower parts of the green and golden bell frog in warty blotches.

All the time hoping Margaret will hit a dead possum.

And Margaret is hoping the same.

So Much For Black

Next stop Narrandera, says Margaret.

Mint? asks Katherine.

Yes please, says Margaret.

The smell of mints permeates to the back seat, where Gaius is annotating his notes with his pencil.

And Terence is colouring the green and golden bell frog.

He wants to get it right.

Which parts are green? asks Terence.

Those parts, says Gaius. And the blotches are brown or golden bronze.

I've only got two browns, says Terence.

But you have two yellows, says Gaius. You could add yellow to one of the browns, to produce a golden tint.

Okay, says Terence. 

And use the other yellow for the strip down its side, says Gaius.

Terence decides to do the strip first, with the other yellow.

Because it's narrow.

Can we drive slowly? asks Terence.

No, says Margaret. We have a schedule. Narrandera by six o'clock. So we're not going slower.

Okay, says Terence. Can you tell me when it's going to be smooth?

It is smooth, says Margaret. 

How long is it smooth for? asks Terence.

Hard to say, says Margaret. 

Are you colouring something small? asks Katherine.

Long and skinny, says Terence.

Why don't you leave it till last? says Katherine. 

She doesn't know much about colouring. You don't leave a long skinny thing until last.

Terence decides to go for it.

He lifts the other yellow pencil out of the box.

He begins to colour the strip from behind the eye of the green and golden bell frog to its lower body.

Carefully. 

Bump.

What was that? asks Katherine.

A rock, says Margaret. Or a  dead possum.

Or a RUIN! says Terence.

His yellow has gone over the line of the strip and into the frog's eye.

What colour are their eyes? asks Terence.

Black, says Gaius.

So much for that.