Trains Have Ears

Sartre and Sweezus are still in the bar carriage, drinking beer.

Which may be unwise.

Trains have ears.

Or so Sartre is telling Sweezus.

I know, says Sweezus. but it's not like we're talking about the rescue.

Or who we're to rescue, says Sartre.

Or what with, says Sweezus.

Ears prick up.

Not the train's ears, but the ears of a couple nearby.

They have watched the Tour de France on  tv and recognised Sweezus.

Excusez-moi, says the man. 

No worries, says Sweezus. 

Aren't you the captain of Team Condor? asks the man.

Yeah, says Sweezus. How did you know?

We saw you on the tv, says the man. 

And you too, says the woman, looking directly at Sartre.

I was not in it, says Sartre.

Yes you were, says the woman. In Team Philosophe.

That was not me, says Sartre.

Pardon, says the woman. You look like one of those guys.

Which one? asks Sartre.

If it wasn't you, it doesn't matter, says the woman.

I was in Team Existentialiste years ago, says Sartre. Perhaps you know me from then?

Team Existentialiste? says the man. Are you.... Jean Paul Sartre?

I am, says Sartre. 

Do you still ride a bike? asks the woman.

Rarely, says Sartre. But I'm taking a bike to Barcelona.

We both are, says Sweezus. 

To rescue someone? asks the man.

I think it's meant to be a secret, says the woman.

So they were listening!

I shall be blogging it, says Sartre. In fact I've already begun. You can follow me, if you wish to.

Super! says the woman. What's it called?

There'll  be a link in Velosophy, says Sweezus. 

Yes but what's it called? asks the woman.

Existence precedes Essence, says Sartre. 

Maybe you should call it Rescue In Barcelona, suggests the man.

Or The Secret Mission, says the woman.

Or The Imposter, says Sweezus. How about that?

Sartre looks at him, severely.

Not you , says Sweezus. The bear.

The man and woman look at one another.

Quoi? Are they planning to rescue a bear?

Busted Eating A Crisp On The Phone

Sweezus and Sartre are in the bar carriage. 

Eating crisps, drinking beer.

Sartre gets a phone call.

Alors? says Sartre.

Have you begun blogging? asks Simone.

Oui, mon amour, answers Sartre.

I don't see it anywhere, says Simone. What's it called?

I'll send you a link, says Sartre.

He fumbles with his phone.

Is that Simone? asks Sweezus. 

It is, says Sartre. She wants to read what I've written.

Yeah, good plan, says Sweezus. See what she thinks of the title.

She won't like it, says Sartre, but she'll like the first paragraph.

About you paying for the bike spaces, says Sweezus.

Perhaps not that part, says Sartre.

Got it, ma chérie? asks Sartre.

Got it, says Simone. Existence precedes Essence. Are you sure?

Of course I'm sure, says Sartre.

It's your decision, says Simone. But aren't you planning to rescue a bear?

I'm not supposed to mention it yet, says Sartre.

I understand that, mon petit, says Simone. But what has essence got to do with it?

My essence has everything to do with it, says Sartre. The action of rescuing , indeed the series of actions leading up to the rescue, and the rescue itself, constitute what I make of myself.

It's not all about you, says Simone.

I know that, ma chou, says Sartre. Have you read any further? You'll see that I mention the young man who is travelling with me. 

Sweezus, yes, I know, says Simone. But I see you have paid for his bike space.

A courtesy, says Sartre. He is giving me useful advice.

Is he looking over your shoulder? asks Simone. You won't like that.

He has been playing Minecraft, says Sartre. He is making a pen for his goats.

That should keep him occupied, says Simone. What's that sound? Like crunching.

We're in the bar carriage, says Sartre. I am eating a crisp.

Don't eat too many, says Simone. You know how salty they are.

I know, says Sartre. And I do appreciate your opinion.

I know that, my love, says Simone.

The call ends.

What did she think? asks Sweezus.

Many things, says Sartre. 

Like what? asks Sweezus.

She doesn't like the title, she thinks I think everything's all about me. I pointed out that you have equal billing and she pointed out that I'd paid for your bike space.

She's a sharp one, says Sweezus.

She is, says Sartre.

I'll get the next round, says Sweezus. More crisps?

D'accord, says Sartre.

You Become What You Do

The very fast train is now moving fast.

Sartre is still typing.

How's it going? asks Sweezus.

Very well, says Sartre. 

Don't make the posts too long, says Sweezus.

I shall stop when I choose, says Sartre.

Just saying, says Sweezus. Short and simple is best.

I shall stop now, says Sartre. Did you bring any snacks?

No, says Sweezus. Bringing snacks isn't part of my essence.

You WERE reading it! says Sartre. 

Yeah sorry, says Sweezus. I'll play Minecraft or something.

He takes out his own ipad.

You seem to have a wrong idea about essence, says Sartre. It's not about snacks.

There's a bar carriage, says Sweezus. We could head up there.

We should clear this up first, says Sartre.

No need to, says Sweezus. I get it. 

Tell me what you think it is that you get, says Sartre.

Okay, says Sweezus. You reckon you become what you do.

That's succinct, says Sartre.

Maybe I should write one, says Sweezus.

No no, says Sartre. One blog will suffice. And it should be mine.

Sweezus starts playing Minecraft. He conjures up goats.

They leap over towers and crash into bridges. . 

Perhaps he should build something for them.

He remembers Sartre's philosophy. You are what you do.

Does that mean he's a goat guy?

No, that was his version of Sartre's philosophy. 

But he should build them something.

He starts collecting wooden pallets and bricks..

Maybe Sartre is looking over his shoulder.

See, I'm a building type guy.

But when he looks up Sartre is typing again.

Sartre stops. 

Having said he wouldn't continue, he has continued. 

Punctuation, says Sartre.

Minecraft, says Sweezus. Building a pen for my goats.

Do they now have a better understanding of each other's essence?

Bar carriage? suggests Sartre.

Yeah, let's go, says Sweezus.

Existence And Essence

Sweezus and Sartre are at the Gare de Lyon, about to board a fast train to Barcelona.

Sartre has paid for the tickets, including two bike spaces, at ten euros each.

They park the bikes in the bike space, and go to their seats.

Sartre receives a phone call from Simone.

Quoi, ma cherie?

Jean Paul, are you on board already?

Yes I am, waiting to depart.

Look out of the window, mon petit!

He looks out of the window, and sees Simone walking along the platform. 

She spots him.

He gets up and goes to the door.

You have forgotten your ipad, says Simone. How would you have blogged your adventure without it?

Merci bien, cherie, says Sartre, taking the ipad.

Bon voyage, says Simone.

Sartre returns to his seat.

What did she want? asks Sweezus.

It seems I forgot this, says Sartre.

Great! says Sweezus. Good on her for bringing it.

Yes, says Sartre. Shall I commence blogging at once?

Why not? says Sweezus. But don't reveal what we're planning.

I shall keep that a secret, says Sartre. I plan to philosophise mainly.

Yeah, go ahead then, says Sweezus. 

Sartre opens the ipad, and stares at the screen.

He starts typing: Existence precedes Essence.

Is that the title? asks Sweezus.

I hope you're not going to watch over my shoulder, says Sartre.

Shit no, says Sweezus. But I need to post a link to your blog for our readers.

Wait till I've finished, says Sartre. But how do you like the title?

Makes you think, says Sweezus. 

Thank you, says Sartre.

But.... says Sweezus.

But what? asks Sartre.

Remember to mention the bikes, says Sweezus.

We're on a train! says Sartre. 

With our bikes in the bike space, says Sweezus. Our readers need to know that or else they'll turn off.

I see, says Sartre. I shall keep that in mind.

He continues typing.

What do I mean by this title? Let me explain. I am on a fast train to Barcelona. A man, existing, but I could be anyone. The young man beside me for instance. He too exists. And he may have a plan of action which will determine his essence. The same goes for me. But I must not reveal my plan of action. Suffice to say, I have paid ten euros for a bike space. And an additional ten euros for his bike space as well.

Sweezus, unable to help himself, has been reading what Sartre has written.

He's not sure he likes what the financial revelation reveals of his essence.

The Thing Will Be Wanting To Come

 Flyingsmarty catches up with Supermarty.

They are level with the empty seat, where Arthur had been sitting.

That's where Arthur was sitting, says Prong.

You must be Terence, says the man who was sitting next to Arthur before Arthur moved on.

Must I? says Terence.

I assume so, says the man. You're with this drone parrot, and you're too young for a phone.

I'm not too young, says Terence. But where's Arthur?

Moved on, says the man. But you can sit here if you like.

Don't do it! warns Prong.

He might come looking for you, says the man, and this is the first place he'll look.

No it isn't, says Prong. It's the second place.

What's the first place? asks Terence.

Where you were when he left you, says Prong. Next to the kid.

Back that way, says the man, indicating the direction that Terence has come from.

Yes, says Terence.

Then he'll pass by here first, says the man. And you can attract his attention.

This sounds like a good plan to Terence.

He already knows how he'll attract Arthur's attention.

By pinching his leg. It will be funny.

He sits down next to the man.

I hear you're going to Barcelona? says the man.

Yes, says Terence. On a mission.

Secret mission, says Prong.

Yes, a secret mission, says Terence. 

I know something about it, says the man. 

Like what? asks Terence. 

You're taking a rope and a net, says the man.

But what for? asks Terence.

So your drone parrot can fly up and steal something from the Virgin on the Sagrada Familia, says the man.

What something? asks Terence. 

That I don't know, says the man.

I'm not going to steal anything, says Prong.

No she isn't, says Terence. The thing will be wanting to come.

Yes, wanting to come, says Prong. The rope and the net are just for its safety.

I see, says the man. So it's a sentient being.

What does that mean? asks Terence.

Alive, says the man. I guess it won't be a crime.

Unless I break something, says Prong.

Like a sticking out thing, says Terence. There used to be lots of those.

I'm sure you'll be careful, says the man.

Prong's always careful, says Terence.

Flyingsmarty is always careful, says Prong.

Is Flyingsmarty your code name? asks the man.

Prong isn't sure that she should have revealed it.

Unsmarty and Supersmarty

I'm moving, says Terence, getting out of his seat.

See you, says the kid with the ipad.

I'm not coming back, says Terence. I'm going to find a new seat on the train.

What about your stuff? asks the kid with the ipad.

I don't have any stuff, says Terence.

Except the spy parrot, says the kid with the ipad.

She's coming too, says Terence.

Am I? asks Prong. What if Arthur comes looking?

I'll bump into him, says Terence.

What if you've sat down already? asks Prong.

I'll reach out and pinch his leg, says Terence. 

He imagines doing it and Arthur reacting.

Merde! Oh, there you are Terence!

What if you're not in an aisle seat? asks Prong.

Your spy parrot is smarter than you are, says the kid with the ipad.

But not smarter than you are, says Terence. 

Thanks, says the kid with the ipad.

I meant it in a bad way, says Terence.

But you said I'm smarter than both of you, says the kid with the ipad.

Tricked you, says Terence. 

How? asks the kid with the ipad.

Because you believed me, says Terence.

Shall I go and tell Arthur you're moving ? asks Prong.

No I'll go, says Terence. You wait here with Unsmarty.

Who? asks Prong.

He means me, says the kid with the ipad. Don't call me Unsmarty again.

It's your code name, says Terence. In case I come back.

This changes everything.

What's your code name? asks the kid with the ipad.

Supersmarty, says Terence.

The kid commits the two code names to memory.

Terence marches off down the train.

Want to know my code name, before I follow Supersmarty? asks Prong.

Yes, says the kid. 

Now Prong has to think of a code name.

Flyingsmarty, says Prong.

Copy that, says Unsmarty.

Flyingsmarty flies off down the train.

Trick Thing

Prong has droned back to Terence to tell him who's coming.

Is it soldiers? asks Terence.

No, says Prong, it's Sweezus and a friend.

Which friend? asks Terence.

Arthur didn't say, says Prong. I think he thinks he'd better not say too much.

Yes, says Terence. He shouldn't.

Come on, says the kid with the ipad.

Come on what? asks Terence.

You guys are really bad spies, says the kid. You say things that people sitting next to you can hear.

Maybe they're trick things, says Terence.

Huh, says the kid. 

He doesn't believe they are trick things.

He returns to his game.

It's not a real bear, says Terence.

What isn't? asks the kid.

The one we're going to rescue, says Terence. Or not rescue.

Yes, or not rescue, says Prong. But it might be.

What? says the kid.

A real bear, says Prong. Or a baby.

Yes a hairy baby, says Terence.

But we've said enough, says Prong. 

Does Arthur want me to move yet? asks Terence.

Not yet, says Prong. But he might be about to change seats himself. 

How come? asks Terence.

Because the man sitting next to him heard him talking to Sweezus on the phone, says Prong.

So what? asks Terence.

Sweezus must have said he was bringing a rope and a net, says Prong.

Could you hear him? asks Terence.

No I couldn't, but Arthur said A rope and a net? What for? and the man heard him.

Yikes! says Terence.

Maybe it was a trick thing, says the kid with the ipad.

Maybe it was.

But this kid is annoying.