Distractions

 Ageless and Terence go back to the artists' bar.

You can't go in there, says the bouncer.

I was already in there, says Terence. 

I don't think so, says the bouncer.

And so was Ageless, says Terence.

The bouncer looks at Ageless.

Show us your pass, says the bouncer.

I don't have one, says Ageless. 

No pass, no entry, says the bouncer.

We were in a show, says Terence.

So you should have got passes, says the bouncer.

Mine's in there, says Terence.

I've got nowhere to put one, says Ageless.

What about that beanie? asks the bouncer.

This beanie? says Ageless.

He pokes Terence. 

The poke means: I'll distract him while you run inside.

But will Terence know this?

Ouch! says Terence. You poked me.

He would have been signalling you to run inside while I was distracted, says the bouncer.

Curses! says Ageless. 

I know all the tricks, says the bouncer.

Belle comes to the entrance, having realised that Terence was missing.

Ah, there you are Terence! And Ageless! We were wondering where you'd got to.

You know these characters? says the bouncer.

Of course I do, says Belle. This is Ageless lobster who played Candide in our play.

And who am I? prompts Terence.

And this is Terence who was in it as well, says Belle.

He's underage, says the bouncer.

He actually isn't, says Belle. 

I'm two thousand years old, says Terence.

No you aren't, says Belle. But you're as old as the Sagrada Famiglia.

I know, says Terence.

And his pass is inside, says Belle. I can get it.

Okay, what about the lobster? says the bouncer.

He can't wear a lanyard, says Belle. No neck.

That's true, thinks the bouncer. No neck, no lanyard, no pass. I'll take her word that he's an artist. And the kid's as old as whatever that thing was she mentioned.

Also the queue of artists waiting to get into the artists' bar has grown longer.

So he lets them go in.

No Need For The Other Guy

And what's Terence's idea?

It's to go back to the tree and get feedback.

From anyone but the person who said they loved Hedley.

He sneaks out of the artists' bar while no one is looking.

Outside the artists' bar he sees Ageless, trying to get in.

Terence! says Ageless.

What? asks Terence.

Were you in there? asks Ageless.

Yes, says Terence. But I had an idea.

How about helping me get in, before you go off and do it, says Ageless.

No, I have to hurry, says Terence.

I'll come with you, says Ageless. Where are you going?

Follow me, says Terence.

Ageless follows Terence back to the tree.

There are only two queue members there now.

And one is the one who loved Hedley.

Too late, says Terence.

What for? asks Ageless.

Feedback, says Terence. 

It's not too late, says Ageless.

Ageless sidles up to the two queue members.

The one who loved Hedley is pouring seeds into a torn piece of paper, held by the other.

I may as well have all of them, says the other.

But there may be a latecomer, says the one who loved Hedley.

Hello, says Ageless. Remember me?

A latecomer! What did I tell you? says the one who loved Hedley.

That's not a latecomer, says the other. That's the lobster Candide.

And me, says Terence.

Yes, you played the florin, says the the other queue member.

Yes! says Terence. Did you love me?

I did, says the other. You did that dance. And you had yellow socks on. And when you turned round we could see the potatoes.

I know, says Terence. AND I was the hingeman.

With the mechanical grabber, says Ageless. 

I thought so, because of the socks, says the other. That role would have been quite demanding.

True, says the one who loved Hedley. It was all in the timing.

Yes, it was, says Ageless. He did a good job. And what did you think about me?

You were great. They didn't need the other guy, says the one who loved Hedley.

What excellent feedback.

Well, thanks for the feedback, says Ageless. We're off to the artists' bar now.

I'm going to help him get in, says Terence.

Ageless is annoyed, but gets over it quickly.

They Should Have Loved Me

Under the tree is a table, and a small plastic chair.

Belle places the bowl of seeds on the table.

Where's the teaspoon? asks Belle.

Terence took it with him when he went to look for Gaius, says Margaret.

So it's lost, says Belle. Never mind, Terence.  Put the paper towels on the table.

Terence does that.

Now do we get our free seeds? asks a dwindled queue member.

Yes, says Belle. Can we leave you in charge?

Me? says the queue member.

Yes, says Belle. 

How am I supposed to give out the seeds without a teaspoon? asks the queue member.

Make small cones with the papers, and tip the seeds in, says Belle.

Then twist the top, says Margaret.

Yes, then twist the top, says Belle.

Yes, says Terence.

Shall I wait here? asks Margaret.

No, says Belle. Come to the artists' bar with me and Terence. You deserve a free beer.

What about the bowl? asks Margaret.

We'll leave it here on the table, says the queue member. Great show, by the way.

Thank you, says Belle.

I loved the girl of easy virtue, says the queue member.

That was HEDLEY! says Terence.

Come on, says Belle.

She and Margaret and Terence head off to the artists' bar.

The others are on their third beer.

Margaret! says Gaius. Have you come for your umbrellas?

Yes, says Margaret. And I didn't appreciate being left behind with the seeds.

A security guard came and told her to move, says Belle. Where's that drink I left with you, Sweezie?

Drank it, says Sweezus. I'll get you another.

Well, Margaret, did you receive any feedback? asks Vello.

Someone said they loved the girl of easy virtue, says Margaret.

Boo! says Terence. They should have loved me.

I'm sure they loved you as well, says Belle.

I don't think they loved ME, says Denis.

Too old, says Vello. We'll get Sweezus to play Candide next year.

Maybe they didn't know it was me, says Terence.

They knew, says Belle. If we'd stayed, I bet someone would have said so.

Sweezus comes back with a fresh beer for Belle and one for Margaret.

Terence gets nothing.

Except an idea.

Go To The Tree

Terence is looking for Arthur.

He walks towards the food stalls.

There is Arthur coming towards him, eating a bao bun.

I'm coming to look for you, says Terence.

You found me, says Arthur.

You were meant to be finding paper towels, says Terence.

I had to buy something first, says Arthur. 

He shows Terence a wad of paper towels.

That's not enough, says Terence.

They can be torn into smaller pieces, says Arthur. That can be your job.

Yay! says Terence. Give them to me.

Arthur gives Terence the wad of paper towels.

Terence runs back to the Piglet exit.

Arthur decides he is no longer needed and heads to the artists' bar.

Vello, Denis, Sweezus and Belle are already there.

What took you so long, bro? asks Sweezus.

Had to find some paper towels for Margaret, says Arthur.

Don't tell me she's wiping the seats! says Vello. 

No, says Arthur. She wrapping the free seeds so they don't stick to people's hands.

What a fuss pot, says Vello. Has she finished?

Don't know, says Arthur. I gave Terence the towels to take back to Margaret.

You let him go back on his own! says Belle.

He came to find me on his own, says Arthur.

I'm going to make sure he got there, says Belle. Hold my beer.

She gives it to Sweezus, and goes.

He'll be all right, says Arthur.

Yeah he will, says Sweezus. He's got perfect balance.

I don't see how perfect balance gives you sense of direction, says Denis.

I do, says Vello.

Denis rethinks his statement.

In sense, it does, says Denis. 

Yeah, says Sweezus. 

Belle will find him, says Vello.

Belle is passing the food stalls when she bumps into Gaius, holding several umbrellas.

I'm looking for Terence, says Belle.

He went that way, says Gaius, pointing towards the Piglet.

How come you've got all those umbrellas? asks Belle.

People got tired of waiting for seeds and left with the umbrellas, says Gaius.

Poor Margaret, says Belle.

She heads for the Piglet exit.

The queue has dwindled.

Terence is sitting on the ground tearing paper towels into smaller paper towels.

A security guard has arrived and is talking to Margaret.

What's happening? asks Belle.

This security guard is telling me to move on, says Margaret.

Where are the seeds? asks Belle.

Here, says Terence.

Right, says Belle. Bring them, and the papers, we're leaving. 

Okay, says Terence.

Come on Margaret. Gaius has your umbrellas, says Belle.

What about us? ask the dwindled queue members.

Go to that tree over there, says Belle.

The dwindled queue members have little choice but to go to the tree.

Godsend Or Not

Why doesn't she go?

Terence looks up at the person.

It's Margaret, in a rain hat.

I'll stand here and collect the umbrellas, says Margaret.

That means I can go, says Arthur.

Yes, go and get something for people to carry their free seeds in, says Margaret. 

Like what? asks Arthur.

Paper towels, says Margaret. Or something like that.

Arthur goes off, to look for paper towels or something like that.

Umbrellas here, please! says Margaret, in a loud voice.

Free seeds! says Terence.

You should've left them in the packet, says a person from Bunnings.

Why? asks Terence.

That's how to transport seeds, says the person from Bunnings.

There wouldn't have been enough, says Margaret. Anyone can see that. If you wait here, Arthur will return with some paper towels.

The queue is not moving, because Arthur has not come back yet.

He is looking at the food stalls. Yiros, gozléme, burgers, bao buns, dumplings, noodles... all have paper towels on the counter. 

He orders two bao buns.

Now he must wait.

Back at the Piglet, Margaret has divided the queue into two separate lines.

One for returning umbrellas, one for free seeds.

The umbrella queue should now move forward.

But doesn't.

If we go now we won't get our free seeds, says one of the people with a borrowed Geological Society umbrella.

You can rejoin the queue, says Margaret.

But then I won't have an umbrella, says the person.

It's not raining, says Margaret.

But it might, says the person.

A bit of rain won't hurt you, says Margaret.

Then why does the Geological Society have umbrellas? asks the person.

Terence, says Margaret, go and see if Arthur is coming.

Okay, says Terence.

He goes, taking the teaspoon.

Gaius comes to the exit to see what's causing the holdup.

Oh, hello Margaret, says Gaius. Where are Arthur and Terence?

Athur went to get paper towels and I sent Terence to find him, says Margaret.

It's unwise to send Terence to find anyone, says Gaius. And why paper towels?

For these seeds, says Margaret. Look, this is what happens when they're poured into your hand from a teaspoon.

She shows him her hand. Wet seeds are stuck to the palm.

We know that, says the Bunnings person. That's why we dont sell them that way.

Well, you know best, at Bunnings,  says Margaret. But these are free seeds.

Indeed, says Gaius, it seems we must all be patient.

Either that or give up. 

Which some people have.

The queue has grown shorter.

I'm missing some umbrellas, says Margaret.

I shall go and find them, says Gaius. They'll be easy to spot.

Thank you Gaius. You're a godsend, says Margaret.

Gaius goes off to look for people with Geological Society umbrellas, godsend or not.

She Does Not Go

Now, if there are no more questions.... says Vello.

I've got a question for Candide, calls an audience member.

Denis hobbles forward.

What is your question? asks Denis.

How did you injure your ankle? asks the audience member.

I fell off the desk during rehearsals, says Denis.

Aren't you too old to play Candide? asks the audience member.

Hence the red knitted beanie, says Denis.

Young people don't go round in red knitted beanies, says the audience member.

I beg to differ, says Denis.

And they don't fall of desks and injure their ankles, says the audience member.

Crash! 

Terence has just fallen off one of the desks at the back of the stage.

And it wasn't his fault. Gaius has misjudged the length of the mechanical grabber in attempting to restrain him.

Wah! cries Terence.

There, you see, says Denis. A young person is just as likely to fall off a desk as an older one.

Wah! cries Terence, again.

Terence, says Vello, will you help our sailor to give out the seeds?

Sniff! sniffs Terence.

But yes, he wants to. 

Please remain seated while the sailor and Terence go to the exit, says Vello. And may your seeds flourish in your respective gardens, and remind you of what is important.

The audience claps in their seats.

Arthur and Terence have already made their way to the exit.

The audience members form a queue.

The seeds have been tipped into a bowl.

Terence has been given a teaspoon.

What are we supposed to carry our seeds in? asks the first person.

Up to you, says Arthur. 

Terence dips his teaspoon into the bowl.

The first person holds out their hand.

Terence tips the contents of the teaspoon into it.

Thank you dear, says the first person.

But she does not go.

The Irony Of Balance

What do the potatoes represent? 

What does represent mean? 

Vello suspects Terence doesn't know.

Do the potatoes STAND for something? prompts Vello.

Potatoes can't stand, says Terence. They roll over.

Can you explain why they're on the back of the florin? asks Vello.

Yes, says Terence.

Go on then, says Vello.

But Terence has thought of something funny.

He cracks a big smile.

What's so funny? asks the original questionner.

Potatoes don't have perfect balance, says Terence.

So what? says the questionner.

I do, says Terence.

And? says the questionner.

I got it from Saint Maclou and Saint Méen, says Terence. 

Who are they when they're at home? asks the questionner.

Two saints, says Terence. 

Have they got anything to do with potatoes? asks the questionner.

YES! says Terence. 

And what might that be? asks the questionner.

They eat them all the time, says Terence. 

This is not the answer the questionner had expected.

Perhaps something more mystical.

Show us your perfect balance! calls another audience member.

He's got grips on the bottom of his socks! calls another audience member.

Show's over, says Vello. Please thank Terence for sharing his story.

Loud clapping. 

Terence takes off his yellow socks and looks for something high to balance on.

Gaius looks for the mechanical grabber.