Something To Ask A Parrot

Gaius and Katherine pick up their bikes and cycle back to Minnie's.

Terence is in Katherine's basket.

Now I'll never have a parrot, says Terence.

Prawny wouldn't have made a good parrot, says Katherine. 

I know, says Terence. 

He couldn't fly, says Katherine.

Only float, says Terence.

Not even that, says Katherine. He sank to the bottom.

I know, says Terence. I should have saved him.

You weren't there, says Katherine. And you're not allowed in the water.

I know, says Terence.

His last days were nothing if not eventful, says Katherine. And that's thanks to you.

This cheers Terence up a little, but he would still like a parrot.

They arrive at Minnie's.

Minnie and Margaret are in the kitchen, cooking a pie.

Minnie is stirring something in a saucepan.

Margaret is rolling out dough.

Something smells good, says Gaius.

A beef pie, says Minnie. Should be ready in a hour.

Sit down, says Margaret. Tell us what happened.

Prawny was dead when we got there, says Terence.

Drowned, says Gaius. The frogs tried to save him.

Gaius filmed it, says Katherine. And the memorial poems that followed.

So we can always remember Prawny, says Terence.

Let's see, says Minnie. Stir this for me, Margaret.

I can't, my hands are all floury, says Margaret.

I'll do it, says Katherine. 

Gaius shows Minnie the video.

The bell frogs diving in, bringing up Prawny, the pre-picked grass pile, the new grass pile, the covering of Prawny, the poems.

Why was there a pre-cut grass pile? asks Minnie.

That will be edited out, says Gaius.

That still doesn't explain it, says Minnie.

I kicked Prawny back in, says Terence. So Gaius could film him being rescued.

So it's fake, says Minnie.

If you like, says Gaius. But at least we have a record.

Yes, says Terence. And Prawny wanted me to do it.

I thought Prawny was dead, says Minnie.

He always wanted to be rescued twice, says Terence. 

Oh, did he? says Minnie. 

She goes back to stirring the pie filling.

Shall I make a pot of tea? asks Katherine. 

Yes, do that, says Minnie.

Terence goes across to the window to see if the red spots are still there from this morning.

They are.

Outside, in Minnie's front garden, he sees a bird land in a tree.

It looks like the superb parrot who gave Prawny his wings.

Terence waves at the superb parrot.

The superb parrot doesn't see him waving.

Terence raps on the window. 

Rap! Rap!

The superb parrot flies down past the window, and lands on the mat at the front door.

It has something it wants to ask Terence.

Which is good.

Because Terence has something to ask the superb parrot.

Leaving Nearly Everything Out

Terence continues his poem in remembrance of Prawny:

His tail fell in the water/ So he had no tail/ There was a reward / If anyone could find it/ The reward took too long/ And Prawny got hot / So he jumped into the water and died/ He was Prawny the strong.

That's a lovely poem, Terence, says Katherine. I like Prawny the strong.

He wasn't that strong, says Terence.

So it was even nicer of you to say it, says Katherine. And it rhymes with too long.

Terence is pleased that she noticed, especially as he hadn't.

How come we're not in it AT ALL? asks the bell frog who didn't eat Prawny.

Yeah, says the neighbour.

You're doing your own poem, says Terence. Get talking.

We're not ready, says the neighbour.

You don't have to be ready, says Terence. Just start.

Is that what you do? asks the one who didn't eat Prawny.

Yes, says Terence. Once you start it just keeps coming out.

It's the starting that's hard, says the neighbour.

Say who's died, says Terence.

Yes, do that, says Gaius. Are you ready?

The bell frogs look at one another.

Who will begin?

I'll begin, says the one who didn't eat Prawny.

He begins:

Prawny has died/ He got hot waiting/ And dived/ Two bell frogs saw him and tried/ To save him but he was no longer alive/

The neighbour chimes in:

He was our friend/ He made us famous/

The one who didn't eat Prawny continues:

Famous he made us/ For we found the tail, twice/ Prawny allowed it/ Because he was nice. 

And lastly the neighbour:

He was our friend/ He made us famous/ The end.

Bravo! says Katherine.

Excellent! says Gaius.

You left nearly everything out, says Terence. 

So did you, says the one who didn't eat Prawny.

It doesn't matter, says Katherine. Prawny has had a good send off. 

Are we leaving him here? asks Terence.

I think so, says Gaius. Or ... would that be littering?

He'll decompose, says Katherine. I don't think leaving him here would be littering.

Okay, bye Prawny, says Terence.

He is ready to go.

Ahem, says the neighbour.

What about our reward prawn? says the one who didn't eat Prawny.

I almost forgot, says Gaius. Where is it?

Here, says Katherine, taking the plastic container out of her pocket.

She takes off the lid and places the defrosted reward prawn on the grass beside the dead Prawny.

Could you break it in half? asks the neighbour.  

Dead The Second Time

Plop! Prawny falls into the water.

Action, bell frogs, says Gaius.

Look! says the one who didn't eat Prawny. Prawny fell in!

To the rescue! says the neighbour.

They both dive in.

This is good! says Terence.

The bell frogs swim down towards Prawny, who has sunk to the bottom.

They grab one end each and swim up.

They break the surface.

They drag Prawny onto the grass.

Should we pump him? asks the neighbour.

We should, says the one who didn't eat Prawny.

They take turns pumping Prawny, but this time no water comes out.

He seems to have died, says the neighbour. 

Yes, says the one who didn't eat Prawny. We should cover him with grass.

We should, says the neighbour. And here is a pile of grass stalks stacked up and ready.

Won't that look somewhat strange? asks Katherine. A pile of grass ready.

Yes! says Terence. It'll look like they knew what would happen.

Fine, says the neighbour. We'll pick new grass stalks.

And Gaius will have to edit the video, says Katherine.

Perhaps, says Gaius. 

Don't you know how? asks Katherine.

I'm sure I can learn, says Gaius. 

The bell frogs are picking new grass stalks to cover dead Prawny.

They have done it. 

They cover him up.

Now, says Terence. Someone should say a poem about Prawny.

It should be you, says Katherine. 

Okay, says Terence. A prawn has died/ He was going to be a parrot/ He even had wings/ Everything went well until the black hole/ His tail came off in it/

Stop! says the one who didn't eat Prawny. Do we get a mention?

How? asks Terence.

Finding his tail, says the one who didn't eat Prawny.

Twice, says the neighbour.

And rescuing him, says the one who didn't eat Prawny. 

Twice, says the neighbour.

Once, says Terence. He was dead the second time.

I assume he was also dead the first time, says Gaius.

He was, says the neighbour.

Anyway, says Terence. My poem's not finished. But I'm trying to leave you two out.

Perhaps the bell frogs could compose their own poem for Prawny, says Katherine.

Yes. This suits them fine.

In A Way Free

Where's Prawny? asks Terence.

Under this grass, says the one who didn't eat Prawny.

Come out Prawny! says Terence. You're free.

He is, in a way, free, says the neighbour. That's a nice way to put it.

Prawny has not come out from under the grass stalks.

Terence steps forward.

Prawny! says Terence.

We may as well tell you, says the one who didn't eat Prawny. Prawny has died.

Bumhole! says Terence.

He looks at Katherine.

It doesn't matter, says Katherine.

That is somewhat cruel, Katherine, says Gaius.

I meant the word bumhole, says Katherine. Not the fact Prawny has died.

Katherine said I wasn't allowed to say it, says Terence.

And you haven't until now, says Gaius.

Now SHE'S said it, says Terence.

That is different, says Gaius. Katherine was quoting.

So was I, says Terence.

No, you weren't quoting, says Katherine. But you were expressing understandable sorrow.

At last! says the one who didn't eat Prawny. Would you like to know how he died?

Of course we would, says Gaius.

He felt hot, says the neighbour. And he dived in, and sank to the bottom.

I suppose you tried to rescue him, says Katherine.

A slight hesitation.

then...

Yes, says the neighbour.

But we were too late, says the one who didn't eat Prawny. So we pulled him out anyway, and covered him with grass.

Terence moves a few grass stalks.

Yes, it is Prawny.

No chance now of becoming a parrot.

We wondered if you'd make a video of us rescuing Prawny, says the neighbour.

Retrieving Prawny, you mean, says Gaius.

Well, yes, says the one who didn't eat Prawny.

You'd have to drop Prawny back in, says Terence. 

We know, says the neighbour. That's why we're asking politely.

It should be up to Terence, says Katherine. It's his prawn.

Okay, says Terence. Prawny will like it.

Would have liked it, says Gaius.

When? asks Terence.

When he was living, says Gaius. On second thoughts maybe he wouldn't.

But he would NOW, says Terence.

Very well, says Gaius, taking out his phone. Who's going to throw Prawny back into the water?

Me, says Terence. But I'm not throwing. That's how everything went wrong in the first place.

What then? asks Gaius.

Terence flicks  more grass off Prawny, and rolls him to the edge of the pond with his foot.

Only Parts

Gaius and Margaret have had two cups of tea.

The frozen prawn has partly defrosted.

Can we go now? asks Terence.

Yes, says Gaius.

I'd like to come with you, says Katherine.

So would I, says Minnie. But I need to buy things for dinner. What would everyone like?

Tomato sauce, says Terence. And a red smoothie.

For me, anything without tomatoes, says Gaius.

Anything at all, says Katherine.

You, Margaret? asks Minnie.

Baked beans, says Margaret.

For goodness sake, says Minnie. We can do better than that. Why don't you come shopping with me?

Yes, why don't you, says Gaius.

All right, says Margaret.

Are we going now? asks Terence.

Yes, says Gaius, heading for the front door.

Don't forget the reward prawn, says Katherine.

Would you like something to put it in? asks Minnie.

More time is wasted, while Minnie looks for a small plastic container.

And more time, while she looks for a lid.

At last Gaius, Terence and Katherine are ready to go to Mawson Ponds.

Gaius leads the way on Minnie's bike.

Katherine cycles behind him on Minnie's second bike, the one Margaret used.

Terence is in the front basket.

This is fun, says Katherine. We're going to pay the ransom for a hostage.

Prawny wanted to be a hostage, says Terence.

That was brave of Prawny, says Katherine.

Yes, says Terence. Prawny is good. When he got his tail back the first time there was no video, and the frogs wanted one so they could be famous, so Prawny threw his tail back in. 

Meaning the video is fake, says Katherine.

No, says Terence. They really found it.

But it wasn't lost, says Katherine.

It could have been, says Terence. 

But it didn't need to have been, says Katherine.

When? asks Terence.

Fortunately, Katherine does not need to answer, because they are there.

Here we are, says Gaius. Leave the bikes, and we'll walk to the sauna.

Prawny will be happy! says Terence. 

So will the frogs, says Gaius.

But alas! the two bell frogs look anything but happy.

More like lugubrious.

A heap of grass stalks lies between them

covering something

 of which

can be seen 

only parts.

Beyond Impatient

It's a beautiful glass leaf, says Margaret.

And each one is different, says Katherine.

Yes, says Minnie. Katherine paid quite a bit for it.

I did, says Katherine. I must take care not to drop it.

You said it was for the fallen, says Terence. 

Indeed, says Gaius. There is something off with the concept.

I thought you once served as a soldier, says Katherine.

Long ago, says Gaius. In Germania. As a military tribune.

Woo! says Terence. Did you have a horse?

No, says Gaius.

I bet you did, says Terence. 

I didn't, says Gaius. Now, to more important things. Minnie do you by any chance keep frozen prawns in your freezer?

I may have a few, says Minnie. Are you thinking of replacing Prawny? Where is he?

Prawny remained at Mawson Ponds as a hostage, says Margaret.

Goodness me! says Minnie. 

What has happened? asks Katherine.

A long story, says Gaius. Prawny lost his tail in one of the brick holes that serve as a frog sauna. The tail fell into the pond and was retrieved by two bell frogs.

Gaius made a video, says Terence. 

Would you like to see it? asks Gaius.

Yes, says Katherine. 

Gaius takes out his phone and shows Katherine and Minnie the video.

What sweet frogs, says Minnie. I do like their speeches.

The video doesn't explain why Prawny remained as a hostage, says Katherine.

Ah, says Gaius. Terence promised them a reward.

Not another prawn surely! says Katherine.

Yes and no, says Gaius. 

They wanted to eat Prawny then they didn't, says Terence. Then Margaret went to buy a reward prawn. But a damselfly ate it. And now we need a new one.

In other words, another of your increasingly complex interventions, says Katherine.

Unusual things do tend to happen, says Gaius. But this can be easily sorted.

I'll see if I do have a prawn, says Minnie. I may well have. I like them with noodles.

She opens her freezer, and yes! There are several frozen prawns in a packet.

We just need one, says Terence. Now we can give the frogs their reward and get Prawny back.

Excellent, says Gaius. We'll go there at once,

Have a cup of tea first, says Minnie. 

Thank you, says Gaius.

So they stop for a cup of tea first.

Terence imagines Prawny becoming impatient.

But Prawny, as we know, is beyond that.

For The Fallen

That was good, says the neighbour, having swallowed his damselfly.

I know, says the one that didn't eat Prawny. 

And appropriate, too, says the neighbour.

I suppose so, says the one who didn't eat Prawny. Damselflies were to be our reward.

But the humans couldn't catch them, says the neighbour. Then Prawny stayed with us and helped us to catch them.

But only because he was dead, says the one who didn't eat Prawny.

A sad complication, says the neighbour.

What will happen when the humans come back? asks the one who didn't eat Prawny.

They'll bring us a cooked prawn, says the neighbour.

As a reward for retrieving Prawny's tail, says the one who didn't eat him.

So what's the problem, asks the neighbour. We did that.

Twice, says the one who didn't eat Prawny.

So we'll still deserve the cooked prawn, says the neighbour.

But we'll have to explain the dead Prawny, says the one who didn't eat him.

Let's cover him with something, says the neighbour. So it looks like we're sorry.

Good plan, says the one who didn't eat Prawny. Pebbles or grass?

They decide on grass, and set about picking.

.......

Meanwhile Gaius, Margaret and Terence have arrived back at Minnie's.

Minnie and Katherine are there, drinking tea.

Back already? says Minnie.

How was the War Memorial? asks Margaret.

Same as ever, says Minnie. 

Did you enjoy it, Katherine? asks Margaret.

The gift shop was nice, says Katherine. Poppies on everything. Tea towels, coffee mugs. And look what I bought.

She shows them a small  box.

What's in it? asks Terence.

A glass leaf, says Katherine. Take the lid off. Be careful.

I'm always careful, says Terence.

A leaf, says Margaret. Does it represent something?

For the fallen, says Katherine.

Is it intended to be amusing? asks Gaius.

The women look at him crossly.

No it's not.