Holy Spitball

What did you find out? asks Terence.

Not much, says Prong. But we've now got a lookout.

What lookout? asks Terence.

There's this dove at the top of a tree, says Prong. And it's going to act as a lookout.

Did it look like a parrot? asks Terence.

Not much, says Prong.

Not all parrots look the same, says Terence. 

Have you heard of the Holy Spirit? asks Prong. 

THAT ONE! says Terence. 

Do you know it? asks Prong.

The biggest dibber-dobber on the palace, says Terence. 

It told me a secret, says Prong.

Tell me, says Terence.

The Virgin's got a baby Sylvanian bear in her bowl, says Prong.

We already know that, says Terence. Anything useful?

She's fond of it, says Prong.

Is she? asks Terence.

So we should bring a replacement, says Prong. 

Did Holy Spitball tell you that? asks Terence.

Mm-hm, admits Prong.

So he knows about the rescue, says Terence.

I guess so, says Prong.

You ruined it, says Terence. Now he's going to be watching, and warn her.

Sorry, says Prong.

A tear rolls from her eye to the tip of her beak, sparkling with illuminations.

It doesn't matter, says Terence. We can fix this.

Yes, says Prong. How?

Give him some false information, says Terence.

Okay, says Prong. What information?

Terence thinks.

Fly back up and tell him we're going to look for a replacement, says Terence.

How will that help? asks Prong.

Say two replacements, says Terence. And he can have one if he shuts up.

It that false information? asks Prong.

Yes, says Terence. Because we're only going to get one replacement.

Okay, says Prong.

She flies back up to the top of the cypress.

What did Supersmarty have to say? asks Holy Spitball.

Thanks for the advice about the replacement, says Prong. And we're getting two replacements and one's for you, as a thankyou for keeping our secret.

I say, that's kind, says Holy Spitball.

Okay good, says Prong. See you shortly.

Wait! says Holy Spitball. What are these replacements?

Um... more Sylvanian bears, probably, says Prong.

Don't get two exactly the same, says Holy Spitball.

Good thinking! says Prong.

I'm known for my good thinking, says Holy Spitball. 

Prong flies down to tell Terence the good news that everything will now be ALRIGHT!

A Venerable Lookout

Prong flaps slowly.

As she rises, she makes observations.

A turtle, a tortoise, a pelican, a cypress, with a dove at the top.

She lands on a cement branch.

Are you new? asks the dove from the top branch of the cypress.

Yes, new, answers Prong.

I've always been here, says the dove.

Oh really? says Prong. What about before they built this palace?

It isn't a palace, says the dove.

Supersmarty calls it a palace, says Prong.

Who the dickens is Supersmarty? asks the dove.

Someone you'd know if you'd been here forever, says Prong. 

No one on this building was ever called Supersmarty, says the dove.

It's his code name, says Prong.

Let me think, then, says the dove. Is it the turtle? He believes that he's wise.

No, says Prong. Please stop guessing.

Okay, says the dove. Tell me what you're here for.

I'm here on a mission, says Prong. 

Not to represent something? says the dove.

No. Do you represent something? asks Prong.

The Holy Spirit, says the dove.

You must be proud, says Prong.

I can't say I'm not, says the dove. What's your mission?

Can you keep a secret? asks Prong.

Try me, says the dove.

That's not a comforting answer, says Prong.

Okay, yes, says the dove. I can keep a secret. I'll tell you one if you like.

That means you can't keep a secret, says Prong.

I've never told anyone this, says the dove. You'd be the first. Then you tell me yours and we're done.

Deal, says Prong. What's yours?

See that baby down there in the bowl the Virgin is looking into? asks the dove.

Yes, says Prong. 

It's a Sylvanian bear, says the dove.  

We know, says Prong. 

Who's we? asks the dove.

Me and Supersmarty, says Prong. And my secret is that were planning a rescue.

I hope you've brought a replacement, says the dove.

No we haven't, says Prong.

My advice is to get one, says the dove. The Virgin's fond of that bear.

That's good advice, thank you, says Prong.

I'll act as your lookout, says the dove.

Thank you, says Prong.

Having the Holy Spirit as your lookout is an honour, says the dove.

Yes, thank you, thank you, says Prong.

She flies down to tell Terence they now have an ally, or... 

... she may have just ruined the mission.

The Pee Part

Arthur gets a phone call.

He stops riding his bike.

It's me, says Sweezus. Just checking if you're there yet.

Yes, says Arthur. We're here.

What are you doing? asks Sweezus.

Nothing much, says Arthur.

We're arriving at six, says Sweezus. And we'll head straight there. What's Terence up to?

He's walking around, says Arthur.

Walking around? says Sweezus.

Just around the outside of the cathedral, says Arthur. He'll be okay. He used to live here, remember.

Yeah I know, says Sweezus. Is Prong with him?

Yes, says Arthur. And I've told them to use the first code word.

Blob? says Sweezus. How come?

They couldn't deal with Peony, says Arthur. The pee part.

Shit yeah, the pee part, says Sweezus. Okay as long as we know. What are you doing? 

Just a quick visit to Las Ramblas, says Arthur. 

Is that a good idea? asks Sweezus.

I'll soon know, says Arthur. See you at six. A bientot!

He continues to Las Ramblas.

Meanwhile Terence and Prong have remained at the Nativity facade.

Looking upwards.

Shall I fly up and check out the Blob? asks Prong.

Yes. The Blob mught be sleeping, says Terence.

Shall I wake it up? asks Prong.

No, find out what the Virgin is doing, says Terence.

She'll be holding it, says Prong. 

See what she's looking at, says Terence.

She'll be looking at the Blob, says Prong.

She might be looking at the tip of her nose, says Terence. Like she used to.

Okay, says Prong . Wait here. I'll be back soon.

Copy that, Flyingsmarty, says Terence.

Prong is pleased Terence remembers her code name. 

What was his?

Oh yes. Supersmarty.

Flyingsmarty commences her mission.

Pees On a Knee

The earlier train is about to arrive at Barcelona station.

Arthur waits in the bike space with Terence and Prong.

Will it be night time? asks Terence.

When? asks Arthur.

When we get there, says Terence.

It's night time right now, says Arthur. 

The train stops. 

Follow me, says Arthur.

He wheels the bike off the train.

Are we going straight there? asks Terence.

Yes, says Arthur. On the metro. Look for line 2.

Line 2 goes directly to the Sagrada Familia.

They look for line 2.

There it is. They get on, with the bike.

When we get there, says Arthur, I'll head off for a while.

Me too, says Terence.

No, you stay where I leave you, says Arthur. So I know where you are.

That's not fair, says Terence.

All right, says Arthur. You can walk around the outside of the cathedral.

What cathedral? asks Terence.

Your old palace, says Arthur.

And do what? asks Terence.

Make observations, says Arthur. 

Woo! says Terence. Observations of Blob?

There's a new code word for Blob, says Arthur. Better use it. 

What is it? asks Terence.

Peony, says Arthur. 

Ha ha, laughs Terence. Pee on E. 

It's a flower, says Arthur. 

A pee flower, says Terence. It pees on an E.

Pees on a knee! gurgles Prong.

Maybe you two shouldn't use it, says Arthur. Best stick with Blob. 

Okay, says Terence.

We get off here, says Arthur.

They get off at the Sagrada Familia stop.

And head for the Sagrada Familia.

At night it is enhanced by illuminations.

It looks different, says Terence. Which is my side?

This side, says Prong.  I've been here before, remember.

So have I, says Terence. A really long time ago.

I'll head off now, and meet you back here in the morning, says Arthur.

What if we're not here? asks Terence.

You'll be here, says Arthur. 

Not if we're lost, says Terence.

Ask someone to show you the Nativity facade, says Arthur. That's what this side is.

Got it! says Prong.

Arthur goes off on his bike in the direction of Las Ramblas. 

Havng done all he can to ensure that nothing goes wrong.

Brown Flower Entity

Okay, Arthur's fine with it, says Sweezus. Peony it is.

Excellent, says Sartre. I shall use it in my next blog post.

Without revealing the connection to the Blob, says Sweezus.

Certainly, without revealing that, says Sartre. 

He starts typing. And stops.

What colour is a peony? asks Sartre.

Brown, says Sweezus.

A brown flower? asks Sartre. Are you joking?

The flower? says Sweezus. I thought you were trying out the code word.

Good to know it works, says Sartre. But I did mean the flower.

Pink, says Sweezus. At least the Minecraft ones are. 

Let me see them, says Sartre.

Sweezus shows him the goat pen with the peonies planted outside.

Very pretty, says Sartre. And what do the goats eat?

Grass, says Sweezus. 

Sartre wonders what will happen when the grass is all eaten, but does not pursue it.

He returns to his task:

I am still on the train, We have linked up with our compatriots on the earlier train. We have agreed on two code words. The second is a code word for the first. The first is a codeword for the entity we seek. I see no harm in revealing the second codeword, which is PEONY. An ingenious codeword which also refers to the flowers my companion has planted close to his goat pen in the vain hope that the goats will not eat them. But then what do I know of Minecraft? 

He shows Sweezus. After all it wouldn't do to publish something too revealing at this early stage.

Sweezus reads it.

Compatriots? says Sweezus.

I'm French, Arthur is French, says Sartre, and Terence is, in a sense, Spanish.

What about me? asks Sweezus. I'm not French or Spanish.

We are all Europeans, says Sartre.

Not exactly, says Sweezus. But fuck it.

If my post is somewhat misleading, so much the better, says Sartre. Any other objections?

The goats won't eat the flowers unless I say so, says Sweezus.

But is that an objection? asks Sartre.

Not really, says Sweezus. 

Sartre presses 'Publish'.

Off it goes.

Not Beaver

The Blob is the code name for you know who, says Terence.

Arthur likes the new code name.

I'll tell the other guys, says Arthur.

He sends Sweezus a text message.

Code name 4 Sylv. bear = Blob.

Sweezus, travelling in the later train, receives the text message.

WTF? mutters Sweezus.

What's up? asks Sartre. Have your goats escaped from your goat pen?

No way, says Sweezus. I fixed the hole with wire netting. This is from Arthur.

You just spoke to him, says Sartre. What now?

He's given me a code word, says Sweezus/

For the operation? asks Sartre. What is it?

For the... ( Sweezus checks that no one is listening)... entity we're going to rescue.

What a fine idea, says Sartre. What is it?

Sweezus shows him the message.

Blob? says Sartre.

Terence probably made it up, says Sweezus.

I can't use Blob in my blog, says Sartre. It's too childish.

You can't use it anyway, says Sweezus. 

Why not? asks Sartre. No one will know what it refers to.

All your readers'll be listening out for it, says Sweezus. Including the ones in Barcelona.

Do you think I'll have readers in Barcelona? asks Sartre.

That's how the internet works, says Sweezus.

Sartre tries to think of a way to overcome this.

Aha! says Sartre. 

What? asks Sweezus.

I'll use a code name for the code name, says Sartre.

Yeah, go for it, says Sweezus.  A code name like what?

Simone, says Sartre. No... better not use her name. How about Beaver?

I've heard you call her that, says Sweezus. 

You're quite right, says Sartre. What do you suggest then?

How about Peony? says Sweezus.

Where did that come from? asks Sartre.

 I'm planting peonies around my goat pen, says Sweezus.

Won't the goats eat them? asks Sartre.

Is it a good code name or what? asks Sweezus. 

It is, no one will guess it refers to a Blob, says Sartre. Should we tell Arthur?

I'll text him back, says Sweezus. 

He texts Arthur:

Peony = code name 4 Blob.

Arthur gets it. 

And responds with a giant thumbs up.

The Substitute Blob

Where's Arthur? asks Terence.

We don't know, says Prong.

How come you don't know? asks Terence.

Because he doesn't know, says Prong.

Arthur? says Terence.

This man, says Prong.

Me, says the man sitting next to Prong. I don't know. But he did get a phone call.

Who from? asks Terence.

I don't know, says the man. He stood up straight away and walked off.

He probably didn't want you to overhear any secrets, says Prong.

What secrets? asks Terence.

More secrets like the secrets I overheard last time, says the man. About the rope and the net. 

And the Blob, says Terence.

What Blob? asks Prong, looking sharply at Terence.

I just invented a code name, says Terence.

Oh yes, says Prong. The Blob in the bonnet.

Don't tell me it's a baby! says the man.

We won't, says Terence.

Because it isn't, says Prong.

I was going to say, if it's a baby you're planning to kidnap, I ought to report it, says the man.

Why would we want to kidnap a baby? asks Terence.

Perhaps you are to be the substitute baby, says the man. 

Blob, says Terence.

The substitute Blob, says the man. The gang kidnaps the Blob and leaves you in its place. 

Me? says Terence. 

He had not thought of that. 

That isn't the plan, says Prong. Come on Terence, let's find Arthur.

Your gang leader, says the man.

Yikes ! This man knows too much.

Prong whirrs off, followed by Terence.

Soon they bump into Arthur, coming back.

Guess what? says Terence. 

What? asks Arthur.

The ticket inspector captured Prong, says Terence. 

And she got away, says Arthur.

And now he's off duty, says Terence.

Great, says Arthur. So I'll go and sit down.

Don't sit next to that man again, says Terence. He knows what the Blob is!

Why don't I know what the Blob is? says Arthur.

All the passengers nearby are listening.

Waiting to hear what the Blob is.