Use Your Ears

It's a prawn, says the superb parrot. I don't eat them.

I wasn't giving him to you, says Terence. I said guess who this is?

I guessed, says the superb parrot.

Not all of it, says Terence.

Ha ha, laughs the superb parrot. I know what you mean.

Terence wonders what the superb parrot knows that he means.

Not all there, says the superb parrot.

I may not be all here, says Prawny, but I have an eye and a mouth hole.

The superb parrot peers at Prawny.

Which one is which? asks the superb parrot.

Use your ears, says Prawny.

Point taken, says the superb parrot. 

Can you fly? asks Terence.

Of course I can, says the superb parrot.

How would you like to teach Prawny? asks Terence.

There are other parts missing, says the superb parrot.

Wings, says Terence. I know.

Then why ask? asks the superb parrot.

He's smart, says Terence. He learned to play Cannot But Be.

Come along, says Minnie. The others will be wanting their lunch.

Okay, says Terence. Come on, Prawny.

Wait, says the superb parrot. You may leave him with me.

Will I get him back? asks Terence.

In good time, says the superb parrot.

It seems like a good offer, says Minnie.

Where do you live? asks the superb parrot.

Just down the road at number twenty seven, says Minnie. Two flower pots outside the front door.

What's in them? asks the superb parrot.

Nothing for you, says Minnie.

Do you want to go with the parrot? asks Terence.

Yes. Prawny wants to.

Minnie and Terence go back to number twenty seven without him.

Prawny expects that soon he'll be learning to fly.

The superb parrot expects that soon he'll know how to play Cannot But Be.

Two And Two Together

Why are you showing your parrot the prawns? asks Minnie.

I was showing him the ham, says Terence.

But the prawns are right next to it, says Minnie. He'll put two and two together.

No he won't, says Terence. He can't even touch them.

Putting two and two together doesn't mean that, says Minnie.

Can I help you? asks the deli assistant.

Two hundred grams of champagne ham, please, says Minnie.

Terence lowers Prawny.

Did you put two and two together? asks Terence.

One and one, says Prawny.

What were they? asks Terence.

One lot had heads, one lot didn't, says Prawny.

You should have just looked at the ham, says Terence.

I know, says Prawny.

Minnie now has her ham and moves on to the cheese section.

What kind of cheese do they like? asks Minnie.

How would I know? asks Terence.

Soft or hard? asks Minnie.

Hard, says Terence. Or soft, maybe.

She buys a large block of cheddar. And a small brie.

Some bread rolls, and a kilo of apples.

What about my drink? asks Terence.

Of course! says Minnie. Choose a drink from the fridge near the checkout.

Woo! They are all sports drinks. Terence chooses a red one.

Minnie pays for her shopping and they exit the Woolworths.

On the way back, Minnie explains putting two and two together.

Putting two and two together means making a conclusion from two bits of information, says Minnie.

Prawny had two bits, says Terence.

What were they? asks Minnie.

Some prawns had heads and some didn't, says Terence.

And what did he conclude? asks Minnie.

Ask him, says Terence.

Minnie asks Prawny.

Prawny doesn't like to say what he concluded in case it is wrong.

What I would have concluded, says Minnie, is that some people like prawns without heads and shells, for convenience, while others enjoy the process of shelling.

Do they? says Prawny.

Yes, but you needn't think about that, says Minnie, Let's keep looking for parrots.

A good suggestion.

And there is one now, poking its head out of a hole in a street tree.

Look, says Minnie. A superb parrot. They're quite common.

Yay! says Terence. We spotted one. Come down, parrot!

The superb parrot had been about to begin a late breakfast of eucalypt flowers, but comes down as requested.

Yes? says the parrot.

Guess who this is? says Terence, holding up Prawny.

Prawny is embarrassed, now he knows what a real parrot looks like.

Their Own Heads

It speaks! says Minnie.

I know, says Margaret. It began life as a potato spun prawn and has progressed from there. 

It could hardly have begun life as a potato spun prawn, says Minnie.

I see what you mean, says Margaret. Obviously it was a live prawn before that. 

And now it's a parrot, says Terence.

It doesn't look like a parrot, says Minnie.

It will when it learns how to fly, says Terence.

I see, says Minnie. And who's going to teach it?

Me, says Terence.

Well I'm off to the shops, says Minnie. Why don't you and your parrot come with me?

Okay, says Terence. Okay, Prawny?

Okay, says Prawny.

Make yourselves at home, says Minnie, to Margaret Gaius and Katherine. There's tea and coffee in the pantry, and milk in the fridge.

Thank you Minnie, says Margaret.

Minnie and Terence and Prawny go off. 

If we're lucky we might spot a real parrot, says Minnie. 

Hear that, Prawny? says Terence.

They walk along the footpath, looking up at the trees.

A magpie drops down from one of them.

Look Prawny, says Terence. A parrot.

That's a magpie, says Minnie.

Put me down, says Prawny.

Better not, says Minnie. It might eat him.

Yikes! says Terence.

His grip tightens on Prawny.

Bluh! coughs Prawny.

You need to be careful with your parrot, says Minnie.

I am, says Terence.

They arrive at the Woolworths, and go in.

Now what shall I get them for lunch? wonders Minnie. 

They like apples, says Terence.

What else? asks Minnie. Something to put in a sandwich.

Nutella, says Terence.

Are you sure that's what they'd like? asks Minnie. It sounds like what you'd like.

They might like jam, says Terence.

I think I'll buy some nice ham and cheese, says Minnie.

She heads to the deli section.

Terence follows with Prawny.

What is ham? asks Prawny.

Pink stuff, says Terence. Want to see?

He lifts Prawny up so he can see all the smallgoods on offer.

Ham, salami, prosciutto, speck, bacon. ..... and next to these?

What are those curled up orange things Prawny is seeing?

Some of them look like himself.

But some have their own heads.

A Robber Would Look

Are we there yet? asks Terence.

Yes, says Margaret. This is Canberra. Now I just have to find Minnie's.

What's her address? asks Katherine

She moved recently, says Margaret. It's somewhere in Chifley.

You mean you don't know? says Katherine.

We're lost! says Terence.

Of course we're not lost, says Margaret. I'll phone her.

She pulls over, and calls Minnie's number.

Hello? says Minnie.

It's me, says Margaret. We're in Canberra. What's your address?

We? says Minnie.

I told you I was bringing two friends and a child, says Margaret.

Three friends! says Terence.

Three friends, says Margaret.

Did you? says Minnie. Oh...yes.

Yes, Minnie, says Margaret. Just give me your address and we'll come round and you'll meet them.

Minnie gives Margaret her address.

Thanks Minnie, says Margaret. 

Have you all had lunch? asks Minnie.

No we haven't, says Margaret.

Then I'd better pop out to the Woolies, says Minnie. What will they eat?

Anything, says Margaret. Although Gaius won't touch tomatoes and Terence should only have drinks.

Why is that?  asks Minnie.

You'll see, says Margaret. 

I'll leave the key under a flower pot near the front door, says Minnie. Go in and make yourselves at home if I'm not back from Woolies.

Thanks, dear, says Margaret.

Five minutes later they arrive at Minnie's.

This is it, says Margaret. She's left the key under a flower pot.

The firsr place a robber would look, says Katherine.

I know, says Margaret.

Can I get it? says Terence.

Yes, says Margaret. Look under that pot.

I'm a robber, says Terence, to the flower pot.

He lifts the pot and looks underneath it.

A worm wriggles out. 

A worm ate it, says Terence.

Worms don't eat keys, says Margaret. Try the other pot.

Terence tries the other pot.

No key.

Well! says Margaret. It seems Minnie is losing her marbles!

The front door opens.

I heard that! says Minnie. 

Back already? says Margaret.

I haven't gone yet, says Minnie.

Very wise of you not to leave a key under a flower pot, says Gaius.

You must be Gaius, says Minnie. Margaret's boyfriend.

Not at all, says Gaius. Simply a colleague.

And I'm Katherine, says Katherine. And this is Terence.

What a sweet little cherub! says Minnie.

Where? asks Terence. 

You, says Margaret. 

I'm the frog guy, says Terence. And this is my parrot.

He thrusts Prawny at Minnie.

A prawn! says Minnie.

Cannot but be, says Prawny.

He Is Not Sideways

Margaret heads down the Hume Highway, towards Canberra.

Katherine gazes out of the window, at trees.

Gaius, in the back seat,  peruses his notes on the green and golden bell frog.

Terence is whispering to Prawny.

Because Prawny has whispered to Terence that he's feeling scared.

Nothing bad will happen, whispers Terence.

Except I'll get drier and drier, whispers Prawny.

So drink water, whispers Terence.

What are you two whispering about? asks Gaius.

Prawny wants a drink of water, says Terence.

Gaius doesn't have any water.

I have water, says Katherine. He can have some of mine.

She hands Gaius a bottle of springwater.

Easier said than done, says Gaius. 

Tip some into your hand, says Katherine.

Hold these notes Terence, says Gaius.

He gives Terence his notes.

Then he unscrews the lid from the bottle of springwater, and tips some into his hand.

With his other hand he lifts Prawny up to the water.

Swuurp-ahh! says Prawny, sucking up a small amount of water.

Can you finish it? asks Gaius.

No, says Prawny. I don't want to vomit.

Curses, says Gaius. Now what do I do?

What's the matter, Gaius? asks Margaret.

I have a handful of water, says Gaius.

For goodness sake, says Margaret. Just suck it up.

Gaius is obliged to suck up the water, which tastes vaguely of prawn.

He dries his hand on his chinos.

Notes please, Terence, says Gaius.

Wait, says Terence. I want to look at the bell frog I coloured.

The bell frog is on the first page.

Look Prawny, says Terence. 

I saw it before, says Prawny. 

Yes but this is a lesson, says Terence.

Okay, what's the lesson? asks Prawny.

Close your eyes, says Terence. 

I've only got one eye, says Prawny. This other one's my mouth hole

Close the eye hole, says Terence. Now what does the green and golden bell frog looks like?

Green and golden, says Prawny.

I gave you a clue, says Terence.

Okay, don't give me a clue, says Prawny.

What else does it look like? asks Terence.

Warty, says Prawny. And with one beady eye.

That's because it's sideways, says Terence. 

Yes, says Gaius. This is a side view. They have, in fact, two beady eyes.

Okay, says Prawny. I get it.

But he is not happy, because he's not sideways, and has only one eye.

It's a useful thing you're doing, Terence, says Gaius. Prawny can help us spot frogs.

He may even attract them, says Margaret. 

Prawny cheers up, not having understood what she is implying.

Lasting Longer

That was delicious, says Katherine.

As was mine, says Gaius.

Mine too, says Margaret. Everyone finished?

No, says Terence. Prawny hasn't finished his milkshake.

I can't fit any more in, says Prawny.

Prawny is very small, says Katherine.

At least now he's hydrated, says Margaret.

Yes, that's a good thing, says Katherine. He'll last longer.

Okay, I'll have the rest of it, says Terence. So I can last longer.

You don't need to worry about lasting longer, says Gaius.

So why does Prawny? asks Terence.

Prawny is different, says Gaius. You're made of cement.

And Prawny has been cooked, says Margaret. It's surprising he's here at all really.

I don't like where this talk is going, says Prawny.

Me either, says Terence.

I'm not surprised, says Katherine. I shouldn't have said anything.

Never mind. Seize the day, says Gaius.

Let's do that, says Margaret. I'll drive the last stretch to Canberra. 

Does Minnie know when we're arriving? asks Katherine.

I suppose I should phone her, says Margaret.

She phones Minnie.

Minnie does not answer.

I'll text her, says Margaret.

She texts her sister: WE SHOULD BE ARRIVING AT 12. 

Done, says Margaret.

They get into Katherine's car.

And head for the Hume Highway.

How long is this going to be? asks Terence.

Two hours fifty minutes, says Margaret.

I feel sick, says Prawny.

Prawny feels sick, says Terence.

Is he going to vomit? asks Katherine.

Yes, says Terence.

What's vomit? asks Prawny.

When the milkshake comes back out, says Terence.

It's coming! says Prawny.

Have you got anything for him to be sick in? asks Katherine.

No, says Gaius. I only have my notes.

Any blank pages? asks Katherine.

They're notes, says Gaius. There are no blank pages.

Too late now anyway.

Bluh!

Prawny has brought up a miniscule amout of strawberry milkshake.

That was hardly anything, says Terence.

Where did it go? asks Katherine.

Down his front, says Terence.

Does that mean I'm still hydrated? asks Prawny.

Does it? asks Terence.

Not exactly, says Gaius.

Prawny does not like the sound of this answer.

Cannot But Breakfast

Are we stopping for breakfast in Wagga? asks Katherine.

That's the plan, says Margaret.

Are we there yet? asks Terence.

Almost, says Katherine. We're five minutes away.

Keep playing, says Terence.

Cannot but Breakfast, says the prawn.

That's an ANSWER, says Terence.

I know, says the prawn.

First there has to be question, says Terence.

There's a challenge, says Gaius.

Where? asks Terence.

To come up with a question, says Gaius. 

Too late, says Terence. I already know the answer.

It's an intellectual challenge, says Margaret. 

Harder than a game, says Katherine.

Okay, says Terence. What was the answer again? 

Cannot But Breakfast, says the prawn. And I'm sorry I stuffed up the game.

What if...? begins Terence.

He hesitates.

Are you stuck? asks the prawn.

No, says Terence, just thinking.

Everyone is quiet while Terence thinks of a question to which the answer is Cannot But Breakfast.

Thought of one yet? asks Margaret. We're nearly in Wagga.

Yes, says Terence. And it's long.

Out with it, says Gaius.

What if you got up early to drive to Wagga, and you hadn't had breakfast? asks Terence.

If you asked that, I'd guess it straight away, says the prawn.

Why? asks Terence.

Because breakfast is in it, says the prawn. And breakfast starts with B.

You shouldn't have asked such an easy answer, says Terence.

Katherine pulls up outside the Bayleaf Café in Wagga.

Cannot But Breakfast, says Katherine.

Everyone gets out of the car.

They go in, sit down at a table, and look at the breakfast menu.

Double Bacon and Egg Roll, Corn and Zucchini Fritters, Avo on Toast, Pancakes, French Toast with Seasonal Berries, Cheesy Omelet, Mushroom Madness.

Mmm, says Katherine. I'm thinking I'll have Avo on Toast.

Very trendy, says Margaret. I'll have the French Toast with seasonal berries.

Gaius toys with the idea of Mushroom Madness.

But settles for a Cheesy Omelet.

What can we have? asks Terence.

We? says Gaius. 

Me and my parrot, says Terence.

So your prawn is promoted to parrot? says Katherine.

Yes, says Terence. Because it's good at Cannot But Be.

This calls for a celebration, says Gaius. What would you like?

What would you like, Prawny? asks Terence.

A Double Bacon and Egg Roll, says Prawny.

Woo! says Terence. It wouldn't fit in your mouth hole.

Prawny looks disappointed.

In the end, Terence and Prawny agree on a strawberry milkshake.