Staring At You

 Katherine pulls up in Murray Bridge.

We'll stop here for a coffee, says Katherine.

And Gaius can look for his pencil, says Margaret.

After the coffee, says Gaius. Terence, remind me.

Remember to look for your pencil, says Terence.

After, says Gaius.

After, says Terence.

He is trying to stay out of trouble.

Gaius helps him out of the car.

They look for a café. 

Terence is finding it difficult to walk in his florin costume.

Katherine notices.

Perhaps you should take it off and leave it in the car, says Katherine.

Yes, people are staring at you, says Margaret.

Terence had not noticed that people were staring at him. 

He does now.

I'm keeping it on, says Terence.

A mother with a toddler comes towards them.

The toddler looks scared.

Hello kid, says Terence.

Uch-huh! goes the toddler.

Don't be scared, Tilly, says the mother. It's a child in an easter egg costume.

FLORIN! says Terence.

Tilly hides behind her mother.

Excuse us, says Margaret.

And us, says the mother. Come on, Tilly.

Tilly and her mother continue along Bridge Street to the shops.

Margaret has spotted a café. They go in.

Katherine orders three coffees and a red drink.

They have lovely cakes, says Katherine. Shall we share one?

Yes let's, says Margaret.

Gaius wonders if this includes him.

In any case, let them choose the cake.

He finds a seat and sits down with Terence.

Although Terence, of course, can't sit down, but must stand on his chair.

Aren't you tired of constantly standing? asks Gaius.

No, says Terence. Do I look like an Easter egg?

No, says Gaius. Easter eggs are not round.

Yes they are, says Terence.

Not with a flat front and back like a florin, says Gaius. 

Why did that lady think I was an Easter egg? asks Terence.

She probably didn't, says Gaius. She may have been trying to calm her young child with something familiar.

Because maybe they've got a dog that looks like an Easter egg, says Terence.

Gaius considers the wisdom of continuing with this line of thought.

He is relieved to see Katherine and Margaret approaching the table with cakes.

Died Out No Doubt

Are you all right in the back there? asks Katherine.

Yes! says Terence. 

You, Gaius? asks Katherine. 

I am, says Gaius. But I've realised my notes are in my backpack in the boot. When will we be stopping?

I can stop right now if you like, says Katherine.

No, don't do that, says Gaius. It will be good for me to simply relax and make light conversation.

Yes says Terence. And we can play Cannot But Be.

Not yet, says Gaius.

Okay, says Terence.

They are now at the Tollgate.

So it's frogs, Gaius, says Katherine.

The green and golden bell frog, says Gaius. 

In Canberra? says Katherine.

Yes, says Margaret. They disappeared from Canberra in the 1980s.

Where did they go? asks Terence.

Died out, no doubt, says Margaret.

Died out no doubt, repeats Terence. 

He likes it. It sounds like a poem.

They are being reintroduced, with certain protections, says Gaius.

How fascinating, says Katherine. 

Small salty ponds and warm hotspots, says Margaret.

Gaius is surprised that she knows.

Warm hotspots, says Terence.

You are being very attentive, Terence, says Katherine.

I know, says Terence. It's because I can't sit down.

You'll be happy soon, says Margaret. When we get beyond Mount Barker you'll have a great view of the geological features.

Yay! says Terence. What are they?

Rocky granite outcrops, says Margaret. 

I do love a rocky outcrop, says Katherine. Especially amongst rolling hills. When the grasses are dying.

I didn't know you were a romantic, says Margaret.

My Scottish background, says Katherine.

They pass through Mount Barker.

What about you, Gaius? says Margaret. Are you a romantic?

Gaius has a feeling that Margaret has steered the conversation this way on purpose. Geology, rocky outcrops etcetera. And Katherine has colluded with rolling hills, dying grasses.

What will he reply?

Errm.... begins Gaius.

What's a roomantic? asks Terence.

Ha ha! laughs Katherine A roomantic is an antic one might get up to in a room.

Very funny Katherine! says Margaret.

What's an antic? asks Terence.

A comical action, says Gaius. Such as your florin dance.

You danced in that florin costume? asks Katherine.

Yes, like this, says Terence. He jigs up and down.

But it's hard to reproduce the antic in a limited space, next to a stiff older person. 

A Bus Is More Sensible

Early next morning.

The doorbell rings.

Gaius opens. It's Terence and Belle.

We're here! says Terence. I brought my costume!

He wanted to wear it, says Belle. But I hear that you're travelling by car.

Are we? says Gaius. A bus would be more sensible.

Margaret organised it, says Belle. Isn't she here yet?

Not yet, says Gaius.

But then.

 Katherine's car pulls up in front of his house.

Margaret and Katherine get out.

Terence runs towards them.

Can I wear my costume in the car? asks Terence.

No dear, says Katherine. 

Bumhole! says Terence.

And I don't want to hear you say bumhole again, says Katherine.

Okay, says Terence. But can I bring it?

What? Oh the costume! says Katherine. Yes, if it fits in the boot

Here it is, says Belle. 

Margaret has opened the boot.

Can it be folded? asks Margaret.

NO! says Terence.

Is there room for my back pack? asks Gaius.

Stop fussing, says Katherine.

I wasn't fussing, says Gaius. I was unaware we'd be travelling by car, or even that Katherine was coming.

I am coming, says Katherine. After all it's my car.

It seems I have little choice in the matter, says Gaius. 

And me, says Terence. 

He is wriggling into his costume.

Climb in, says Belle. See if you can sit down.

Terence climbs in, with some help from behind.

But he cannot sit down.

I'll have to stand up, says Terence.

You can't stand up all the way to Canberra, says Margaret. 

I can, says Terence.

Let him try, says Katherine. He has strong legs, and he doesn't need a seat belt.

If you say so, says Margaret. Ready Gaius?

Gaius squeezes his backpack into the boot, between two suitcases, wedged behind a large esky.

Margaret shuts the boot.

Too late, Gaius wonders if he's remembered a pencil.

He climbs in beside Terence.

This is good, says Terence.

Yes, says Gaius.

Ready? says Katherine. Murray Bridge here we come.

Bye, everyone! calls Belle. Have fun!

We will, reply Katherine and Margaret.

Me too! shouts Terence.

The edge of the florin costume digs into Gaius.

Gaius affects a stoic expression.

Gracious Curses

What was that noise? asks Minnie.

Nothing, says Margaret. Now I'm going to call Gaius and tell him we're staying at your place.

When will you be arriving? asks Minnie.

Soon, says Margaret. I'll let you know.

Bye, then, says Minnie.

Bye, Minnie says Margaret.

Margaret calls Gaius who is at home packing.

Gaius, says Margaret, it's all right with Minnie.

What is? asks Gaius.

Staying at her house, says Margaret. Terence is welcome as well.

I've been thinking, says Gaius. I don't want to put your sister to any trouble.

You're not getting out of it, says Margaret. It's already arranged. Now when were you thinking of leaving?

As soon as possible, says Gaius.

Leave it to me, says Margaret. I'll be at your place first thing in the morning.

Curses! says Gaius

What's that? says Margaret.

Gracious! says Gaius.

It sounded more like curses, says Margaret.

A crackly line, says Gaius.

Bye, then, says Margaret.

Yay! says Terence. We're going!

That's lovely, says Belle. We'd better take you home so that you can get ready.

I am ready, says Terence. I only need my costume.

The florin costume? says Belle.

I want to show it to Minnie, says Terence.

It might be hard to pack, says Belle.

I can wear it, says Terence.

Okay, says Belle. I'd better ask Margaret how you'll be travelling.

Margaret is on her phone trying to book flights to Canberra.

But the flights are all full.

She calls a friend from the Geological Society.

The friend is not happy. It's late.

Furthermore she does not want to go on a field trip to Canberra.

And she doesn't like frogs.

Not to mention the cost of the petrol.

So Margaret calls Katherine.

Margaret! says Katherine. Where are you?

In the artists' bar, says Margaret. Trying to tee up a ride to Canberra first thing in the morning. I'm going with Gaius and Terence.

What fun! says Katherine.

Yes, says Margaret. Gaius seems really keen

Does he? says Katherine. Has he said so?

Of course he's said so, says Margaret. 

I'm at a loose end, says Katherine. We could drive there together in my car. Go thirds in the petrol. I can do some sightseeing.

Perfect! says Margaret.

It would seem so.

Perhaps less so to Gaius.

He Blows It

Say hello to my sister Minnie, says Margaret.

Without blowing? says Terence.

Just say it, says Margaret.

Hello Minnie, says Terence.

Hello Terence, says Minnie. I hear Margaret wants to bring you to Canberra.

Yes, says Terence. 

Tell me about yourself, says Minnie.

I used to live on a palace, says Terence.

People don't live ON palaces, they live IN them, says Minnie.

Some people do, says Terence. And they come and go.

I suppose they do, says Minnie. And why are you in the artists' bar with Margaret? Were you in the play?

Yes, says Terence, I was a florin. I had to wear a costume.

Goodness, says Minnie. Was it round?

Yes, says Terence. And it had a front and a back that were different.

What was on the front? asks Minnie.

A flower de lee, says Terence. And on the back, two potatoes.

I should like to see them, says Minnie. 

I'll bring my costume, says Terence. I can wear it to sneak up on frogs.

Frogs! says Minnie. There are no frogs at my house.

That's okay, says Terence. We're going to find some.

Margaret didn't mention frogs, says Minnie. 

Only me, says Terence.

Yes, only you, says Minnie. I shall be happy to meet you. You seem like a nice little boy.

So do you, says Terence.

Thank you! laughs Minnie. Don't forget your costume!

Okay, says Terence.

Yay! He didn't blow it with Minnie.

But she was so friendly, she probably wouldn't have minded.

He's tempted to see.

He blows loudly, down the phone.

Phphrrrrt!

And hands the phone back to Margaret.

Don't Blow It

It's a bit late to call Minnie.

But Margaret calls her anyway.

Margaret? says Minnie. What's the matter?

Nothing's the matter, says Margaret. 

Then why are you calling so late, and what's all that fracas?

Fracas? says Margaret. I'm in the artists' bar at the Fringe.

I don't believe you, says Minnie. 

I've been helping out with a production of Candide, says Margaret.

Isn't that a musical? asks Minnie. You hate musicals.

This wasn't a musical version, says Margaret, it was an excerpt. And I lent them our geological society umbrellas and handed out seeds.

That doesn't sound like the Candide I remember, says Minnie.

You are behind the times, says Margaret. But that's not what I rang for.

Good, says Minnie. What then?

I'm planning on coming for a visit, and bringing a gentleman friend, says Margaret. 

A gentleman friend? says Minnie. Who is it?

It's Gaius, says Margaret. I may have mentioned him, a few years ago.

The natural historian? says Minnie. 

That's him, says Margaret. What do you say?

Good for you, says Minnie. Better late than never. What shall I give him for breakfast?

I don't think he's fussy, says Margaret.

Yes but .... says Minnie.

I'll ask him, and let you know, says Margaret. Oh, and would you mind if I also brought a young lad called Terence?

That's me! shouts Terence.

How young is this lad? asks Minnie. 

Not as young as he looks, says Margaret. And he won't be any trouble.

Was that his voice I heard? asks Minnie.

Yes, says Margaret.

Let me speak to him, says Minnie.

All right, says Margaret.

She hands Terence the phone.

Don't blow it, says Margaret.

Which is not an expression he knows

Shitty Fungus

Henriette, Gaius and Denis drink their hot chocolate.

Gaius looks thoughtful.

What are you thinking? Henriette.

I prefer not to stay with Margaret and her sister, says Gaius.

So tell them, says Denis.

Margaret thinks I'm keen, says Gaius.

How do you know? asks Henriette.

I was talking to Arthur, but she thought I was talking to her, says Gaius.

Just now? asks Denis. How did that happen?

Arthur must have handed his phone to her as I was talking, says Gaius.

How awful, says Henriette. Looks like you're stuck with the sisters.

Look on the bright side, says Denis.

Which is, says Gaius. 

A comfortable bed free of charge, says Denis. Probably a hot breakfast before you set out. The three of you, looking for frogs. Margaret being an expert, and a good chance her sister is too. And even if she isn't, she'll have local knowledge.

Yes, that's all very  well, says Gaius. But I prefer camping, and I'm well-informed about frogs.

Of course you are, says Henriette. Perhaps you should tell them.

Hum, says Gaius.

He should tell them. But how?

.....

In the artists' bar, Margaret gives Arthur his phone.

Thanks, says Arthur. 

We're going to Canberra, says Margaret.

We? says Arthur.

Gaius and I, says Margaret.

Oh are you? says Belle. How lovely. 

Am I going? asks Terence.

Do you want to go? asks Belle. 

Yes, says Terence, I know all about frogs.

Is that so? says Margaret. 

Yes, says Terence. They have different tattoos. And get shitty fungus.

Shitty fungus? says Margaret. I suppose you mean chytrid fungus.

I suppose I mean shitty fungus, says Terence. 

Ha ha, laughs Vello. Terence knows what he means.

He does NOT, says Margaret. And he won't get on well with my sister.

Yes I will, says Terence. She'll love me.

Not if you're rude, says Margaret.

Does that mean I'm coming?  asks Terence. 

Everyone waits for the answer. 

I'll need to ask Minnie, says Margaret.

Minnie. That must be her sister.