Steve All The Way

Everything keeps working out well.

Belle and Surfing-with-Whales have arrived at the airport on time.

Belle has brought the curly whiskers, in a sandwich zip-top.

Gaius has helped Prong fix the whiskers onto her beak.

They have shown customs the parrot passport.

Prong has been placed in a cage.

They have boarded the plane.

Can I have the cage? asks Terence.

It will have to go under the seat when we take off, says Gaius.

Which is my seat? asks Terence.

You don't get one, says Gaius. You're described as an artifact.

What does that mean? asks Terence.

You're part of my hand luggage, says Gaius. I didn't think you would mind. 

So where can I sit? asks Terence.

Under the seat in front of me, next to Prong's cage, says Gaius. You can come out when we're up in the air.

Can I go and see where Belle's sitting? asks Terence.

All right, says Gaius. Then come straight back to me.

Terence walks down the aisle of the plane looking for Belle.

Many heads turn.

Look at that! says a passenger. Does he remind you of someone?

Yes! says their fellow passenger. Perhaps he was in a movie.

No. I'm an artifart, says Terence.

The passengers laugh.

Terence finds Belle in an aisle seat.

What are you doing here? asks Belle.

I haven't got a seat, says Terence.

That won't do, says Belle. No one's sitting next to Surfing-with-Whales yet. If no one turns up, you can sit next to him.

Yeah you can, says Surfing-with-Whales. You can help me play Minecraft. You can be Steve.

Yay! says Terence. What do I look like?

Blue shirt, brown hair, says Surfing-with-Whales.

I have to go back now, says Terence. See you later.

No worries, says Surfing-with-Whales.

Terence goes back to Gaius, and wriggles under the seat next to Prong's cage.

I might be playing Minecraft, says Terence.

Good for you, mutters Prong.

The Air China plane takes off.

No one has claimed the seat next to Surfing-with-Whales.

So Terence gets to be Steve all the way to Shanghai. And then again from Shanghai to Barcelona.

He is happy.

Although his parrot is not.

Not Smugglers

At five to six, Gaius wakes up.

You woke up! says Terence. We were supposed to wake you.

Well, now you won't need to, says Gaius.

We cleaned your bike, says Terence.

And we scared off the spiders, says Prong.

Excellent! says Gaius. Now I'll just pump up my tyres, eat an apple, buy a ticket to Barcelona and then we'll go and see Belle.

He goes outside and pumps up his tyres. 

He hopes they stay up.

He eats a a shrivelled apple that has been in the fruit bowl since the day he left for Canberra. 

Intense flavour, this apple, says Gaius. Will you eat the seeds, Prong?

Yes I will, thanks says Prong.

What do I get? asks Terence.

Belle will have something, says Gaius. 

He sits at the table, takes out his phone and buys a ticket to Barcelona.

It is expensive. The flight takes 22 hours with one stop in Shanghai.

He checks his bike tyres. Good. They've stayed up.

Ready Terence? asks Gaius.

Yes he is ready. So is Prong. 

Gaius cycles to the Velosophy office in the city, with Terence and Prong in his backpack.

Belle is the only one there.

Gaius! says Belle. And Terence! And this must be Prong!

Right on all counts, says Gaius.

Here's Prong's passport, says Belle. It's lucky about the whiskers.

She'll be a spy parrot, says Terence.

Why is it lucky about the whiskers? asks Gaius.

No one will accuse you of smuggling a native species out of the country, says Belle.

I hadn't thought of that, says Gaius. 

We're smugglers! says Terence.

No you're not, says Belle. With those curly whiskers, Prong's an exotic.

To all appearances, says Gaius. 

Where are the whiskers? asks Belle.

Curses! says Gaius. In Katherine's handbag!

You'd better get them before you fly out, says Belle. When are you leaving?

This evening, says Gaius. On Air China.

It sounds like we're on the same flight, says Belle. 

How fortuitous, says Gaius. Are Vello and David on it too?

They're already in Barcelona, says Belle. I stayed behind to wait for Surfing-with-Whales and make sure he gets there in time for the race.

I see, says Gaius. Where is he?

Picking up his new wheels, says Belle.

Have you got any red drinks? asks Terence.

Of course I have, says Belle.

She finds him a Ribena.

Gaius calls Katherine, about the curly whiskers in her handbag.

I'll bring them to the office, says Katherine. Wait there.

But I have things to do, says Gaius. Wash my kit, and flatpack my bike. Perhaps you could leave the whiskers with Belle. We're on the same flight to Barcelona.

All right, says Katherine. Good luck, Gaius! 

Thank you, Katherine, says Gaius. 

But he does not think he will need it. 

Everything has worked out so well.

A Bike Full Of Spiders

Katherine has dropped Gaius at his place and gone home to hers.

Gaius makes his way in the dark to his back garden shed.

His bike is covered in spider webs. 

And the tyres have gone flat.

He'll have to deal with those things in the morning.

He wheels his bike to the back door.

He goes inside and looks at the clock. Four am.

It IS morning.

But too early to go and see Belle.

I'll sleep for two hours, says Gaius. Wake me at six am, Terence.

Okay, says Terence. 

Gaius goes to bed

Terence and Prong look at the bicycle through the back window.

Let's clean it, says Terence.

What with? asks Prong.

Anything, says Terence.

He goes outside. Prong follows.

There is a box of old rags in a box at the corner.

Terence picks up a rag.

Prong picks one up too.

They start wiping spider webs from the wheels and the frame of the bicycle.

Several spiders jump off and start running.

Terence and Prong keep on wiping.

Did you see them jump off and start running? asks Terence.

Yes I saw them, says Prong. I wonder where they're going?

There goes another one, says Terence. You should follow it.

Okay, says Prong. She follows the running spider.

Stop! says Prong.

The running spider stops running.

What? asks the spider.

Where are you going? asks Prong.

Anywhere to get away from the underpants, says the spider.

Were we using underpants? asks Prong.

Neither Prong nor Terence had shaken out the rags and seen they were underpants.

Yes, says the spider.

Prong goes back to Terence to tell him.

They decide to stop cleaning the bike.

Is it six am yet? asks Terence.

Nearly, says Prong.

How nearly? asks Terence. 

Five am, says Prong.

So they have an hour before they're allowed to wake Gaius.

They play Cannot But Be.

Terence asks Prong this good question:

What if your bike's full of spiders?

Prong doesn't know.

Cannot but be bitten on the BUM! says Terence.

They both laugh loudly.

Somehow the underpants have made it even more funny.

A Day In The Future

Terence has had to take off his potato costume, to drink his red smoothie.

Katherine and Gaius eat their chips and drink coffee.

Prong picks at her defrosted purple berry mush.

Gaius's phone pings.

Ping!

It's a message from Belle.

How's this for a new parrot passport?

Gaius looks at the photo she's sent.

It's a copy of Mouldy's old one, with alterations.

Male has been replaced with female.

Mouldy's photo has been replaced by the photo of Prong.

The one with the whiskers.

That could be a problem, says Gaius. 

What? asks Katherine.

Prong doesn't have curly whiskers, says Gaius.

I do have them, says Prong.

Yes she does, says Katherine. Remember, Minnie made some with starched wool.

Prong can hardly go about wearing them, says Gaius.

It'd just be at the airport, says Katherine. And again coming home.

Where are they? asks Prong.

In my handbag, says Katherine. Minnie said don't get them wet.

Well Prong, are you willing to wear the starched whiskers when you go through security? asks Gaius.

Yes I am, says Prong

Like a spy, says Terence. Can I wear whiskers too?

No, says Gaius. You have your own passport, with a photo that looks just like you.

Is it me? asks Terence.

Of course it's you, says Gaius.

A photo of you, says Katherine. 

We could draw whiskers on it and then I could wear whiskers, says Terence.

A spy wouldn't do that, says Prong.

Terence is impressed that Prong knows what a spy wouldn't do.

So are we agreed that this parrot passport is suitable? asks Gaius.

Katherine looks at it again.

Yes, it is signed by Professor Isidore, director of the Jardin des Plants in Paris.

And no, it has not yet expired.

Agreed, says Katherine.

Gaius sends Belle a message:

Good work Belle, and thanks. I'll drop by and pick it up from your office in the morning. 

Now, says Katherine, we'd better be going.

They go out to her car.

We forgot the potato costume, says Prong.

Terence goes back for it.

He is thinking about a day in the future, when he might want to wear it, but he couldn't because he didn't know where it was because it was at the Pinnaroo roadhouse, or would be, if it wasn't for Prong.

A Purple-ish Mush

Katherine stops at the Pinnaroo roadhouse.

I remember this roadhouse, says Gaius. They made flavoursome chips.

They did, says Katherine. And Terence had a ......

Red potato smoothie! says Terence. Can I have one now?

I don't see why not, says Gaius.

They enter the roadhouse.

What can I get you? asks the roadhouse attendant.

Two large chips and a red potato smoothie, says Gaius. 

And two coffees says Katherine.

And something for my parrot, says Terence. My parrot likes seeds and berries.

Frozen berries? asks the assistant. That's all I've got.

Perhaps you could defrost them, says Gaius.

All right, says the assistant. But they tend to go mushy.

Prong won't mind, says Terence.

I know you from somewhere, says the assistant, opening the freezer.

Me? asks Terence.

You had a potato costume, says the assistant. 

So he did, says Gaius. What happened to it?

It's probably in the boot of my car, says Katherine. 

What if it isn't? asks Terence.

Go and look, says Katherine. She gives Terence the keys.

The assistant begins defrosting berries, frying chips, and whizzing up mashed potato with Ribena.

Prong is waiting outside. She doesn't know she is getting mushy defrosted berries. She sniffs the air. And smells chips.

What's that smell? asks Prong.

Chips, says Terence. Come with me.

Prong follows him to the back of Katherine's car.

Terence tries opening the boot with the keys.

Finally he finds the correct one.

Pop! The boot opens. 

Yes. There is the potato costume tucked between a suitcase and a backpack.

Help me put it on, says Terence.

This is the first task that Terence has asked Prong to do.

(Except for some things that were practice).

And it's difficult, because the potato costume has to go over his head.

At least Terence knows where his arms go.

By the time they enter the roadhouse the chips and the smoothie are ready.

And the frozen berries have turned into a purple-ish mush.

Weak At The Knees

Will you remember me? asks Prong.

I don't have to remember you, says Terence.

I mean when I'm a parrot from years  ago, like Mouldy, says Prong.

Yes, says Terence. I'll remember you when it's years ago.

Thank you, says Prong.

Are we there yet? asks Terence.

We'll arrive late tonight, says Katherine. Even later, if we're stopping for dinner.

I think we should stop for dinner, says Gaius. 

All right, says Katherine. We'll stop in Pinnaroo.

Was that where I got Prawny, asks Terence.

No, says Katherine.

See, says Terence. I remembered Prawny.

Of course you did, says Gaius. It was a short time ago.

It's funny we don't remember Mouldy, says Katherine.

A few things are coming back to me, says Gaius. He was one of three pebbles Terence encountered.

Which one? asks Terence.

The mouldy one, says Gaius. And he travelled with us for a time.

A pebble? says Prong. How did he do as a parrot?

Perhaps Belle will have unearthed more information, says Gaius. She's going to look at her M file.

Why EM file? asks Terence.

M for Mouldy, says Katherine.

To Terence, that doesn't sound right.

.... 

But it is right, and Belle has found her M file.

It contains Mouldy's parrot passport, as well as a few bits and pieces.

A receipt for a tiny bicycle. A short poem by Terence.

A note from the Hong Kong police: Wanted: Mouldy. Last seen cycling across the Sea Bridge from Hong Kong to China, on a bike. 

Belle looks at Mouldy's passport photo and compares it to the one Gaius has sent her of Prong.

Mouldy's beak looks unusual. 

Yes she remembers it now. Mouldy had no beak, and so two false red fingernails had been attached to his face, with fish glue.

And a few feathers, obtained from ...who?

And Prong. She seems to have curly whiskers, unusual in a parrot.

She looks nothing like Mouldy.

But so what? All Belle has to do is change the photo on Mouldy's passport.

Easy. 

She looks again at Terence's poem:

la la la three good things/ about Mouldy's beak / his voice is longer/ his smell is stronger/ if you kiss him his knees will go weak.

In My M File

Belle has a lot of things to do. 

And now Arthur has asked her to organise a parrot passport.

There's no time to apply for a new one.

She calls Gaius.

Belle! says Gaius. How delightful!

Yes, says Belle. I hear you're joining team Condor.

I am, says Gaius. And I hear Surfing-with-Whales has joined Team Philosophe.

Don't remind me! says Belle. 

I'm sure they'll be a great combination, says Gaius. No doubt his presence will make them go faster.

Everyone's saying that, says Belle. But no one's said why.

Well, he is younger, says Gaius. And probably fitter.

But he's not a philosopher, says Belle. He might not fit in.

Nonsense, says Gaius. I'm not a philosopher, but no one ever told me I didn't fit in.

You were reliable, says Belle. And you ARE philosophical. 

Thank you for saying so, says Gaius. I suppose if anything, I'm a stoic.

Exactly, says Belle. By the way, are you still in Canberra?

No, says Gaius. As a matter of fact, we are on our way back to Adelaide. Katherine has kindly cut short her holiday, and is driving us home.

Great, says Belle. Is Terence with you?

Yes he is, along with his new parrot, says Gaius. Her name is Prong.

That's useful to know, says Belle. Arthur was asking me about a parrot passport. 

Was he? asks Gaius. I thought he was dealing with the parrot passport himself.

You know Arthur, says Belle. 

I suppose he thought you might have one on file somewhere, says Gaius.

I might, says Belle, but it was a long time ago. Do you remember which of Terence's parrots it was for?

Gaius thinks back. 

It may have been Mouldy, says Gaius.

Mouldy! says Belle. Yes it was. We had to make him look like a parrot.

Prong already looks like a parrot, says Gaius.

That should make things simpler, says Belle. I'll see if I've got Mouldy's old passport in my M file.

Excellent, says Gaius. I'll send you a photo of Prong.

Thanks, Gaius, says Belle. See you soon. Bye.

Goodbye, says Gaius.

Was that Belle on the phone? asks Katherine.

Yes, Arthur has organised a parrot passport for Prong, says Gaius.

It sounded like Belle was going to do it, says Katherine.

She may have Mouldy's old passport on file, says Gaius.

Mouldy! says Terence. What happened to Mouldy?

But it was years ago, and no one remembers.

Prong wonders if she should be worried.