No Turn-Offs

Terence picks up the sunflower seed and the raisin and puts them into his pocket.

There's another one, says the ticket inspector.

A green pumpkin seed.

Woo! says Terence. It must have jumped out.

How did it get so far down the aisle? asks the ticket inspctor.

It probably bounced, says Terence.

He picks it up. 

And throws it down hard.

But the green pumpkin seed does not bounce.

Perhaps it rolled, says the ticket inspector.

Yes, says Terence. 

He picks it up again and tries to set the pumpkin seed rolling.

But it seems pumpkin seeds do not roll.

I suspect your parrot is leaving a trail for you to follow, says the ticket inspector.

It might be a trick, says Terence.

I'm going that way anyway, says the ticket inspector.

I'll go first, says Terence.

He sets off down the aisle, following the Trail Mix.

Past the kid with the ipad.

Your parrot just went past, says the kid, It was spitting.

Spitting! says the ticket inspector.

It spat these, says the kid.

Three currants, a raisin and a coconut curl.

Great, says Terence. You've broken the trail I was following.

Sorr-ee! says the kid.

That's okay, says Terence. 

How come you're following a trail? asks the kid. This is just a straight train.

He has a point. There are no turn-offs.

Terence turns to look at the ticket inspector.

But the ticket inspector has gone.

Where did he go? asks Terence.

I didn't see, says the kid with the ipad. 

Yikes! says Terence. I'd better catch up.

You don't know which way he went, says the kid. 

He would have gone that way, says Terence, 

Or back that way, says the kid.

Why would he go that way? asks Terence.

To get something to clean up with, says the kid.

Yes! says Terence. Well, I'm going to keep going this way.

He hurries to catch up with Prong who he hopes has warned Arthur the ticket inspector is coming.

The trail stops at the seat next to the man beside whom Arthur was sitting.

Prong is in it.

And Arthur has gone.

Yes! At least the plan worked.

No.....Yes!

The ticket inspector leads Terence to a small compartment.

In it, there's a seat and a table.

On the table is a packet of Trail Mix, unopened.

Wait here, says the ticket inspector.

He goes out, and comes back with Prong.

Hello, says Prong. 

Now I know why you didn't eat the Trail Mix, says Terence.

Yes, says Prong.

Why? asks the ticket inspector. 

Because it's not open, says Terence. 

A parrot should be able to open a packet of Trail Mix, says the ticket inspector. 

You try, says Prong.

The ticket inspector opens the packet of Trail Mix. 

Okay, says Prong. Now try and do it with your mouth.

But I've already done it, says the ticket inspector.

You should have asked him to open it with his mouth first, says Terence.

I see that now, says Prong.

Would you like some? asks the ticket inspector.

No thank you, says Prong.

You might later, says Terence. I'll tip some into my pocket.

He tips some Trail Mix into his pocket.

You are both free to go, says the ticket inspcctor.

Where to? asks Terence.

To the young man you've been travelling with, says the ticket inspector. 

Okay, says Terence.

It might be a trick, says Prong.

No it isn't, says Terence. This guy's off duty.

The ticket inspector nods in agreement.

No trick. He's off duty.

He indicates the door.

Terence and Prong exit the compartment.

Now what? asks Terence.

I'll go first and warn Arthur, says Prong.

Wait, have these, says Terence, scooping a handful of Trail Mix from his shorts pocket.

What for? asks Prong.

Leave a trail, says Terence.

Why? asks Prong. Don't you know where Arthur is sitting?

I know where he WAS sitting, says Terence. What if he's moved?

Good thinking, says Prong.

She whirrs off down the train dropping Trail Mix at intervals.

Terence waits for a while before following.

This is a good plan.

The ticket inspector comes out of the compartment behind him.

Sees a sunflower seed and a dried raisin on the floor next to Terence's feet.

There must be a hole in your pocket, says the ticket inspector. 

No..... YES! says Terence

Tied Up And Questioned

Enfin! says the ticket inspector.

Meaning me? asks Terence.

Meaning at last I have found you, says the ticket inspector. 

You found me before, says Terence.

But you were in a hurry, says the ticket inspector.

I was going to the toilet, says Terence.

You were, says the ticket inspector. I take it you've been.

Not yet, says Terence.

Which is true. He hasn't.

Then it was an excuse to avoid me checking your ticket, says the ticket inspector. I thought so.

Do you want to check it now? asks Terence.

The ticket inspector looks at his watch.

Trop tard! says the ticket inspector. I'm off duty.

Yay! says Terence. I'm saved!

You are one lucky fellow, says the ticket inspector. And so is your companion.

My parrot? asks Terence.

The young man, says the ticket inspector. 

That's Arthur, says Terence. I'm going to tell him.

Go ahead, says the ticket inspector.

Wait! says Terence. Have you seen my parrot? She's missing.

The whirring drone parrot? asks the ticket inspector.

Yes, her, says Terence.

She has been detained, says the ticket inspctor.

No she hasn't, says Terence. She would have borrowed someone's phone and sent Arthur a message.

She didn't want to make a phone call, says the ticket inspector.

Terence wonders why Prong didn't want to make phone call.

She probably didn't know Arthur's number.

She'll be sad, says Terence. 

She did look sad, says the ticket inspector. We offered her some Trail Mix.

Did she eat it? asks Terence.

No, says the ticket inspector.

Can I have her back? asks Terence. I need her for something important.

What might that be?  asks the ticket inspector.

A rescue, says Terence. She's flying up with a rope and a net. Because I can't. 

Up where? asks the ticket inspector.

It's a secret, says Terence. 

Follow me, says the ticket inspector.

Terence has little choice but to follow.

He expects to be tied up, and further questioned.

Oh No ...Bump!

Are we there yet? asks Terence.

Not yet, says Arthur. 

When are we? asks Terence.

Soon, says Arthur. 

Can I go for a walk down the train? asks Terence.

Okay, says Arthur. Which way will you go? 

That way, says Terence, pointing back to where he was sitting before he sat here.

He goes off in that direction.

Arthur starts thinking about Barcelona.

He had not thought much about it before.

How will he do this?

Last time he was in Barcelona he wasn't in charge of Terence.

He could go where he pleased.

Nightclubbing, visiting seedy bars in Las Ramblas.

But he can't take Terence there.

What if he dropped Terence off somewhere?

In fact he could take Terence straight to the Sagrada Familia, find a safe spot, and leave him there overnight. It's his home after all. Or it was.

Terence meanwhile has walked back to the kid with the ipad.

The seat beside him is still empty.

Where've you been? asks the kid.

Getting away from you, says Terence.

So how come you came back? asks the kid.

Because, says Terence.

Where's your parrot drone? asks the kid.

Good question.Where is she?

Terence looks up and down the train.

Maybe she got captured, says the kid.

She'd get away, says Terence.

What if she couldn't? says the kid.

I would know, says Terence. She'd send me a message.

How? asks the kid. Has she got her own phone?

No, says Terence. She'd have to borrow someone's.

And then what? asks the kid. Have you got your own phone?

No, says Terence. She'd phone Arthur.

Does she know his number? asks the kid.

No, she doesn't. And this kid is still heaps annoying.

Maybe even more heaps annoying than before.

I'll find her myself, says Terence.

He marches off down the train, and oh no!...

...bumps into the ticket inspector.

Guess Baby

Finish your drink, says Arthur. Then we'll go and find different seats on the train.

Okay, says Terence. 

He slurps his drink noisily.

You can have my seat if you like, says the man. I'm going to the bar carriage.

Arthur looks around for the ticket inspector.

He is nowhere in sight.

Thanks, says Arthur.

The man gets up and goes off.

Arthur sits down.

Phew! says Terence.

Why phew? asks Arthur.

That man was trying to guess who we're going to rescue, says Terence.

Prong told me, says Arthur. That's why I came back.

He was getting warmer, says Terence. 

How warm? asks Arthur.

He guessed it was a toy, says Terence.

It is a toy, says Arthur.

It's not BEING a toy, says Terence. It's being a baby.

He'd never guess baby, says Arthur.

No, says Terence. He couldn't. After he said toy I changed the game.

What to? asks Arthur.

Cannot But Be, says Terence.

That was risky, says Arthur.

No it wasn't. He didn't know how to play it, says Terence.

He would have soon learnt, says Athur.

And then what? asks Terence.

What does baby start with? asks Arthur.

E, says Terence,

It might end with E, says Arthur, But it starts with B and has a B in the middle, 

Yikes! says Terence.

Exactly, says Arthur. 

I could have asked the wrong question, says Terence.

Turns out you couldn't, says Arthur. If you thought baby started with E.

What if it was a trick question? asks Terence.

Like what? asks Arthur.

Terence thinks.

What if there was an E baby with a bee in the middle? says Terence.

You would never have asked that, says Arthur.

I just did, says Terence.

But you didn't know about the B in the middle, says Arthur.

Who says? says Terence. I'm going to ask the man when he comes back.

Don't do that, says Arthur.

Why? asks Terence.

It's too close to what he was trying to guess, says Arthur. 

That's not why, says Terence.

Why then? asks Arthur.

Because you think I don't know the answer, says Terence.

Cannot but baby? says Arthur.

Cannot but ee baby, says Terence. But ee, get it?

Arthur doesn't answer.

Not because he doesn't get it.

But he's had enough.

A Fortuitous Return

Prong whirrs off to tell Arthur to hurry.

Terence remains in his seat next to the man.

Is it an animal? asks the man.

No, says Terence.

Vegetable? asks the man.

Why would we rescue a vegetable? asks Terence.

Are you sure it's not an animal? asks the man.

It looks like an animal, says Terence.

It's a TOY! says the man.

This is close to being correct but it isn't.

At least Terence thinks that it isn't. 

Wrong, says Terence.

But close? says the man.

A bit close, says Terence.

Where is Arthur?

We should play a different game, says Terence.

As your parrot advised, says the man. 

Yes, says Terence. How about Cannot But Be?

I don't think I know Cannot But Be, says the man.

I'll teach you, says Terence. It's easy.

Go on then, says the man. 

He doesn't really care to play Cannot But Be.

Where is Arthur?

I ask a question, says Terence. And you say Cannot But Be something starting with B.

Can I have an example? asks the man.

Yes, says Terence. What if there are two bees in a box?

Cannot But Be two bees in a box? says the man.

That's the long answer, says Terence.

What's the short answer? asks the man.

Cannot But Bees! says Terence.

So it doesn't have to make sense, says the man.

Why? asks Terence.

It's your game, says the man. You tell me why.

Terence is trying to think of an answer to why Cannot But Be doesn't have to make sense when every time he has played it it has, when, fortunately...

Arthur comes back.

Stop! says Terence.

Arthur has already stopped. 

I was going to pinch your leg if you walked past, says Terence.

Then I would have kept walking, says Arthur, and you wouldn't have got this red drink.

Yay! A red sports drink.

Glad you're back, says the man.

Me too, says Terence. 

He pops the top of his drink and sucks noisily.

Arthur remains standing.

Wasps Whirr What?

Meanwhile on the earlier train, Terence is still sitting next to the man.

Arthur has not yet returned.

Want me to go and find him? asks Prong.

Okay, says Terence. Tell him I'm sitting next to a man.

The same man he sat next to, says the man. He should remember where I am.

Okay, says Prong. 

She flies up from Terence's shoulder and switches to drone mode.

Buzz-buzz.

Drones don't usually buzz, says the man.

What do they do? asks Terence.

They whirr, says the man.

Were what? asks Terence.

Whirr like a swarm of wasps, says the man.

That's wasp drones, says Terence. She's a parrot drone.

Makes sense, says the man. You wouldn't send wasp drones on a rescue mission.

No I wouldn't, says Terence. They might sting it.

It? says the man.

You know what, says Terence.

No I don't, says the man. 

Have a guess, says Terence.

An injured parrot, says the man.

He has been imagining that Terence and Arthur and the drone parrot might be going to rescue an injured parrot.

Now Terence imagines it too.

Yikes! If it was an injured parrot, and Prong turned up, the Virgin might want to keep Prong as a replacement. 

Not correct, says Terence. It's nothing like a parrot.

There's a clue, says the man. 

That's not a clue, says Terence.

A general sort of clue, says the man. So it isn't a bird.

Correct, says Terence. It isn't.

But the man is getting warmer. 

Terence hopes Arthur comes back soon.

Instead it is Prong who comes back.

Buzz-buzz, says Prong. Arthur's in the bar carriage.

Is he getting me something? asks Terence.

It didn't look like it, says Prong. 

Go back and tell him to hurry up, says Terence. Before this man guesses who we're going to rescue.

Why is he guessing? asks Prong.

It's just a game, says Terence, but he's getting warmer.

Play something different, says Prong.

Okay, says Terence. You go and get Arthur. And try to sound more like a wasp.

Don't they buzz?  asks Prong.

No, they whirr, says the man.

Were what? wonders Prong.