Lost in Quillan

Hello Gaius! said The VeloDrone, when Gaius walked in. How was your holiday in France?

Wonderful, said Gaius. But we have lost Baby Pierre.

Where? asked The VeloDrone. Not in Quillan?

How did you know it was Quillan? asked Gaius.

It was the last we heard of him, said The VeloDrone. We were following Margaret's blog. You were in Carcassonne. It was cold and wet. You and Margaret were going to get coffee, but Baby Pierre decided to take the bus to Quillan. Then there was silence. And no more blog.

Oh Margaret gave up , said Gaius. It was very hard to get wifi.

Yes but what about Baby Pierre? said The VeloDrone.

Indeed, said Gaius. However, he was only a stone.

A stone that read Joyce, said The VeloDrone. You ought to have sent out a search party.

Funny you should say that, said Gaius.

So you did send out a search party, said The VeloDrone.

No, said Gaius, but funny you should know what he was reading. He never finished the Joyce, by the way. He went into a tabac in Agen one day, and came out with La Princesse de Babylone.

La Princesse de Babylone! cried The VeloDrone. But that is by ME! Tell me, how did he like it?

He liked it, said Gaius, as far as I know. He was reading it in the bus on the way up to Quillan.

What a coincidence, said The VeloDrone. My book is about two cousins. And Baby Pierre was missing his cousin.

He was, said Gaius. The headstrong and beautiful Lavender. I imagine he got off the bus at Quillan, and it would have been raining.

And he thought to himself, I wish Lavender were here, said The VeloDrone.

With some milk, and some nuts and some raisins, said  Gaius.

And an umbrella, added The VeloDrone.

Cold in Carcassonne

It had turned cold and wet in Carcassonne. Gaius and Margaret put on their coats and walked up to the castle.

Baby Pierre is probably up there already, said Margaret. He is fond of the stones.

They walked along the Rue Trivalle, through the Jardin du Prado, over the drawbridge and under the high stone archway.

Don't you love the stones! said Margaret. They are so beautiful, and think of the history they've seen. The Cathars, the Crusades, the Visigoths, the Albigensians, the Spanish, the gypsies, the ....

Margaret! said Gaius. You are hopelessly mixed up. And you have forgotten the Romans.

The Romans, said Margaret.

Baby Pierre appeared, holding a purple ice cream.

Don't you think it's a bit cold for ice-cream? said Margaret.

What kind is it? asked Gaius.

Miel de Lavande, said Baby Pierre.

It's dripping, said Gaius.

No it isn't, said Baby Pierre. It's made by an artisan. They don't use dripping.

I mean that it's beginning to drip, said Gaius. Why don't you lick it?

I don't want to lick it, said Baby Pierre.

Then why did you buy it? asked Margaret.

I'm missing my cousin, said Baby Pierre. I wish Lavender was here.

Ahh, said Margaret. How sweet.

Ahh, said Gaius. If you aren't going to eat it, give it to me.

Here, said Baby Pierre.

Gaius licked the Miel de Lavande.

Hmm, he said. It's too cold. And now it's beginning to rain.

Let's get a coffee, said Margaret. Coming Baby Pierre?

No, said Baby Pierre. I'm catching the bus to Quillan.

Prunes of Agen

Gaius and Margaret are in Agen. Gaius is delighted to discover that Agen is the prune capital of France. How delightful! Agen is the prune capital of France, he says to Margaret, looking up from his Smartphone. Then go out and buy some, and leave me alone, says Margaret. I'm trying to write my blog. Everything has gone wrong. Alright, says Gaius, going out. He walks to the Rue de la Republique and enters a shop called Maistre Pruneau. Bonjour Master Prune, he says to the prunemaster. Give me 200 grams of your finest prunes, s'il vous plait. The prunemaster weighs out 500 grams of his finest prunes. Ces sont bonnes avec l'armagnac, says the prunemaster. Aussi le champagne. Vous voulez? That looks like more prunes than I asked for, says Gaius, holding out a 20 euro note. The prunemaster hands him the enormous bag of prunes, a bottle of armagnac, a bottle of champagne, and no change. Mercimonsieur, aurevoir, bonnejournee, gabbles the prunemaster. Expensive prunes, says Gaius. And your scales a wrong. But thank you for the bottles. Au voir monsier He returns to the apartment where Margaret is still struggling with her blog. That's a big bag of prunes, says Margaret, seeing the size of the bag of prunes. And what's this? Champagne? Oh Gaius. Isn't it lovely in France! Lovely, says Gaius. What have you got there? asks Baby Pierre, emerging from his Room of Ones Own. Prunes, says Gaius.

Mistaken for a Miracle

Gaius, Margaret and Baby Pierre left San Sebastian on the train. After several hours they arrived in Lourdes, and decided to stay overnight. After dinner Baby Pierre rolled down the hill to the Grotto, to see the famous evening procession. He saw wheels, and feet, and looking up, he saw candles in paper cones. He heard voices singing piously. Ave Ave Ave Maria! I know this song, said Baby Pierre. He sang Ave Ave Ave Maria! On hearing this, several people looked down in his direction. A miracle! said someone. A little stone is singing to Our Lady. He bent down to pick up Baby Pierre. But Baby Pierre was too quick for him and rolled away towards the cathedral. He got stuck under the wheels of a blue hooded barouche being pulled by a nurse in a red and black cape. What's this? said the nurse. She kicked him out of the way. That's it, I'm leaving, said Baby Pierre. I thought they respected stones around here.

The Famous Pintxos of San Sebastian

Baby Pierre rolled back down Monte Urgull.

Halfway down he bumped into Gaius and Margaret, who were examining the geological features on the seaward side.

It looks like there has been a cataclysmic event at some time in the past, Margaret was saying. Quite possibly an earthquake or even a volcano. See how the rocks are tipped up at all sorts of crazy angles so that you can see the various layers exposed, like filo pastry, or cheese.

And Gaius was saying, I hope it wasn't a volcano.

And Margaret was saying, Why, particularly?

And Gaius was pretending that he couldn't remember, but really of course he could well remember that fateful volcano long ago in Pompeii......

Hello! said Baby Pierre. I've just had an interesting conversation with Jesus.

That isn't Jesus, snorted Margaret. It's just a statue. And I thought you were an atheist anyway.

I am, said Baby Pierre. An atheist and a free thinker. But I am first and foremost a stone. As is he.

Fair enough, said Margaret. Well, Baby Pierre my dear, how would you like to join us for dinner later on? We're going to try the famous pintxos.

No thanks, said Baby Pierre. I don't eat. And they're mainly bread anyway.

Nonsense! said Margaret. Only a stone would say that.

Up Slowly To Jesus

It took Baby Pierre a long time to climb up Monte Urgull.

Finally he reached the stone feet of Jesus.

He peered upwards.

Excuse me, said Baby Pierre.

Si, said Jesus.

Parlez Anglais? asked Baby Pierre hopefully.

All languages, said Jesus.

Esperanto? asked Baby Pierre.

All except Esperanto, said Jesus. Speak to me in English, little pebble.

Call me Baby Pierre, said Baby Pierre. Tell me Jesus what's the purpose of the metal prong?

It's a lightning conductor, said Jesus.

Baby Pierre giggled.

How come you need a lightning conductor? he asked.

Jesus shrugged.

Every statue has one, he said. Don't they?

I don't think so, said Baby Pierre. Not in Paris they don't. Maybe you need one because you're up so high. I t must be lovely to be up so high.

You see some funny things, said Jesus.

Like what? asked Baby Pierre.

People walking on the beach without any clothes, said Jesus. Not everyone. Just the odd person. I never get used to it though.

Quite right , said Baby Pierre. People should wear clothes.

They should, said Jesus. Take me.

Nice, said Baby Pierre. Stone robes are cool.

Thanks, said Jesus.

Baby Pierre in San Sebastian

Baby Pierre is in San Sebastian. He is bored.

Margaret and Gaius are obsessed with their new technologies, which do not work. They spend their time drinking cafes con leche in cafes with wifi, or tapping away to no avail on their hotel guest computer on level E.

Baby Pierre decides to explore San Sebastian on his own. He rolls to the end of the town. He sees a magnificent bay, with a hill at one end and on top of the hill is a stone statue of a man in a long robe with one finger pointing admonishingly at the old town.

Hmm, says Baby Pierre happily. Another town where stones rule. I love travel. I'm going to climb up this hill.