Stage Sixteen: Carcassonne to Bagnères-de-Luchon - Fast Bee

Stage sixteen, and the sun is shining in the beautiful Pyrenees.

The air is full of promise. Bells ring in the bell towers. Vultures hover nearby.

How delightful it is not to be racing Froome, Contador, Cavendish, Talansky.....although of course heartbreaking too.

Rumour is rife in the peloton. Baby Pierre is in town.

He has a wee bicycle. How fast will his bicycle be?

.......

Team Crustacean are not at the top of their game this morning. Perhaps due to yesterday's violet icecream.

Or their breakfast of pétéram, provided by Freud. Sheep tripes, as if anyone knew.

Ageless is listless. His legs work mechanically; his knees creak.

Ko-bo-ko-bo-ko-bo. That's how they sound.

Louttit and Louis-Claude have written him off.

They ride up level with Sweezus and Arthur, who are eating Dardenne chocolates, and Unni, who isn't.

Hi guys, says Sweezus. How's it hangin'? Where's Ageless this morning?

He is doing his best, says Louttit. But even the great psychoanalyst can't seem to help him.

True, says Louis-Claude. If anything Freud is a hindrance. He gave us sheep tripes for breakfast.

You get all the good breakfasts, says Arthur.

Have a chocolate, says Unni.

Yeah, says Sweezus, have a .... oh sorry, none left.

C'est rien, says Louis-Claude. We are full of the sheep tripes.

Where's Baby Pierre? asks Unni. I heard rumours.

No one has seen  him, says Louttit.

How amusing.

Just as Louttit is saying 'No one has seen him', here comes Baby Pierre, riding right under their wheels.

He is riding as fast as a bee.

Zwoooooom!

But no one has seen him. So he can't be hauled up by officials.

..........

Vello and Schopenhauer are doing well this morning. The warm air of the Pyrenees suits them.

Vello: Pity about Gaius. He seems to be lagging this morning

Schopenhauer: Too much of that salt cod emulsion.

Vello: It should have the opposite effect.

Schopenhauer: Ha ha! Jet propulsion! Ach! What was that?

(Schopenhauer inexplicably wobbles).

Vello: What's up?

Schopenhauer: It was as though a bee whizzed by and upset my aerodynamics.

Vello: It must have been a very fast bee.

.........

They are not the only riders who have been bothered by something, not a bee, but like one.

Tejay Van Garderen, Alejandro Valverde, Thomas Voeckler.......

Zwoooom! A little wobble. Enough to lose you valuable seconds.

.........

Baby Pierre is discovering the power of being invisible. Weeee! How delightful it is.

He's on the downhill run to the finish, catching up to the leader, Michael Rogers.

Zwooooom!

Pop. Tiny pop. No one hears it.

Baby Pierre has a tiny flat tyre.

But Michael Rogers would have won anyway, because today was the day he was going to.