On the Move

Baby Pierre looked back at the Jellyfish Oracle's rock. There was Ageless, comfortably perched on the edge, nattering away about something. No wonder Lavender was impatient. Baby Pierre was feeling pretty impatient himself. Perhaps it was time to say something.

Ageless and the Jellyfish Oracle were talking about Kobo.

And how is dear Kobo? asked the Jellyfish Oracle.

Oh, much the same, said Ageless. Being a fossilised clam means you don't change that much.

Tell me about it, said the Jellyfish Oracle. Being a mosaic means much the same thing. You don't know how lucky you are.

Yes, but there's always the fear, said Ageless.

True, said the Jellyfish Oracle. You fear a horrible death. But Kobo and I, we fear boredom.

Nonsense, said Ageless. That's what books are for. Kobo never gets bored. She was the one who introduced me to stories. I bet she would love this book about sand. I shall send it to her when you've read it. There's a wonderful part about dunes.

Dunes! said the Jellyfish Oracle. What sort of dunes?

Sand dunes in Africa, said Ageless, the crescent-shaped ones called barchans. They move slowly across the desert, never changing their shape.

How do we know? asked the Jellyfish Oracle.

We know, said Ageless, because of Ralph Bagnold's rubbish. He was a scientist interested in sand dunes. In 1930 he camped in front of a barchan, leaving his rubbish behind to be buried as the barchan advanced. Fifty years later, another scientist found Ralph Bagnold's rubbish 150 metres away, behind the barchan. So he knew exactly how far the barchan had moved.

How delightful, said the Jellyfish Oracle. I like stories about things that move.

That's good, said Baby Pierre, appearing suddenly behind them. Because it's time we were off.

Now Voyager

You probably don't get it, Pliny, because you don't know Conrad's Heart Of Darkness. It's a very famous book.

What is it about? asks Pliny.

Colonialism, good and evil, boats. Conrad compares England in Africa to the Romans in Britain.

That's interesting, says Pliny. Tell me more.

No, Pliny, you must read it yourself. You will find the famous quote, Mistah Kurtz, he dead, there.

Well, says Pliny. This other Mr Kurtz, the real estate man, is he dead?

No, I don't think so. If he were, he wouldn't need an office.

Then I still don't get it, says Pliny.

I'm just pointing out, Pliny, sometimes something reminds us of another thing, time and time again.

Ah! says Pliny. Like that big yellow M at the end of your road. It always reminds me of hamburgers.

No, not like that! The big M reminds everybody of hamburgers. I'm talking about more idiosyncratic types of things. For example, every time I go down Magill Road, I pass a boat in a driveway, and the boat is called Voyager, and every time I see it I think: Now Voyager.

Ah! says Pliny. That film with Bette Davis!

You know it?

Oh Jerry, don't let's ask for the moon! We have the stars.

Oh yes! I remember.

Part 5 : My Life at Work

My life at work; this will be short.

My first job is teaching in a high school. I am 20. I do not wish to be a teacher, nor do I feel I have anything to teach. I have always detested having to speak in front of a group. I am only a few years older than my class. Worse, I am teaching geography to year 8s although I never studied geography beyond year 7. Nevertheless, I manage to do it for one whole year. I learn that you must be careful not to mix up Africa and South America.

My second job is looking after other people's children in my home, along with my own. This is easy but I only get $20 a week so it is not lucrative, but at least my children have someone to play with. This goes on for years and a succession of children without incident until little James gets a wellie full of boiling water by accident, and severely burns his little white foot. I vow never to look after anybody's children ever again.

Next I get a job working in the office of our family business, which is an investment company. I like this job because I can dress up in nice clothes. I learn how to run a share register and how to wait for things to turn up in the mail. Sometimes the things take months and months. I have to liaise with someone at Executor Trustee about tranferring a Trust Fund. Every week I go across town to his office and say, We haven't received anything yet. His wife is going to have a baby. One day she rings up while I'm in the office and he turns away from me to answer the phone. 'Hi hinny', he says, in a treacley voice. I wonder if this is because he is Dutch.

My last job is working in the canteen at Touch Footy on Thursday nights, a job my daughter does not want and my son needs someone to do. This is a very time consuming way of making a few dollars for the club by selling the odd pie, pasty, red frog, giant python, and Coke. Plus I have to keep the drink fridge stocked up. One day a young woman comes in and tells me she thinks I should do more in the interests of fellowship, organise a barbecue on the weekend for example.
Fellowship! Interfering Christian person! Does she think I like doing this? I am so outraged I can hardly speak.

The Song of the Woolly Mammoth

I am a Woolly Mammoth
From North Siberi-ee
A relly of the elephant
As you can plainly see.

We used to live in Africa
But when we moved up here
We found it very chilly
' Bout the nose, our toes, each ear.

So we changed our haemoglobin
Before our species froze.
We are extinct now anyway,
But that is how it goes.

What a silly song, said Pliny the Elder. It proves nothing.