Stage 18: Pinerolo to Galibier Serre-Chevalier

There are three big climbs today in Stage 18 of the Tour from Pinerolo to Galibier. Farky is hanging out with Tour, Alberto Contador's Weimaraner, half an hour before the start of the race.

Farky: Hiya Tour! How's Alberto feeling about today?

Tour: As if I would tell you.

Farky: Come on, you can tell me. I'm a fellow dog.

Tour: You may be a fellow dog, mi amigo, but you're also a rider in the race, and a rival of my Contador.

Farky: Fair enough, buddy, but I'll tell you our race plan if you'll tell me his.

Tour: No way, Farky, everyone knows your team's plan is cactus. But I'll tell you what. I'm friends with Andy Schleck's dog, Jacks. He's the Jack Russell over there. Want me to introduce you?

Farky: Yeah, I do.

......

Later, at the start of the climb up the Col d'Izoard, Farky draws alongside The VeloDrone and Gustave, who look less than confident about their chances of making it to the top.

The VeloDrone: Farky! Did you learn anything from that dog of Contador's?

Farky: You mean Tour?

The VeloDrone: Is that his name? Bizarre!

Gustave: It's not that bizarre. He'll be named after the Tour.

The VeloDrone: Yes, yes, alright. The obvious can still be bizarre. Well, did you learn anything?

Farky: Tour was too cagey, but I made friends with Andy Schleck's dog, Jacks.

Gustave: My giddy aunt! Do all of the riders have dogs?

Farky: Do you have a problem with that?

Gustave: No, it makes sense I suppose.

Farky: What d'you mean?

The VeloDrone: Save it, you two. What did he say?

Farky: Well, Jacks is a talker. He said Andy Schleck is going to make a big move on the Col d'Izoard.

The VeloDrone: Really? Where is he, then?

At this very moment Andy Schleck makes his big move and passes them on his way up the Col d'Izoard.

The VeloDrone: There he goes! Jacks was right. You're a useful fellow, Farky.

Farky: Thanks!

Gustave: What the devil was the use of us knowing that?

Contador's Dog

Have you ever tried to ride a bicycle, Farky? asked Belle et Bonne.

No, said Farky, but I used to travel in a bicycle basket when I was a puppy.

Would you like to learn to ride? asked The VeloDrone.

Dogs can't ride, said Farky.

Dogs can't talk, replied The VeloDrone.

True, said Farky. Yes, I would like to learn how to ride.

Good, said the VeloDrone. I'm looking for new team members for Team Philosophe. The Tour de France is coming up in July. Are you interested?

Am I! said Farky. Do you think there's enough time for me to get up to speed?

Yes, if you start coming out with David and me every afternoon, said The VeloDrone.

Yippee! said Farky. The Tour de France! I'll get to meet Alberto Contador's dog!

I didn't know he had a dog, said Belle et Bonne.

Google it, said Farky. I'll bet you he's got a dog.

Belle googled Contador's dog.

Well, well! she said. He does have a dog. A Weimaraner called Tour.

I knew it, said Farky.

Why do you want to meet Contador's dog? asked Belle et Bonne. Are you a fan of Contador?

No, said Farky, but if I befriend his dog, I may learn something that will give our team the advantage.

Very good, said The VeloDrone. I see you are made of the right stuff, Farquhar MacTaggart. This is looking very promising for Team Philosophe.