Friday, July 8, 2016

Tour de France 7: L'Isle-Jourdain to Lac de Payolle - We Learn Nothing

A flat start that will end in the mountains.

Every team has a plan.

The sun shines hotly.

An early breakaway of twelve becomes a breakaway of twenty nine.

Do we know whose plan this was?

Let's listen.

Nibali: Team Condor's not doing too good.

Cancellara: Si, but their Team Sticky Notes are catching fire.

Navarro: Ay! Which is your favourite?

Cancellara: I very much like Shut Up Legs.

Navarro: You do know they didn't invent that catch phrase?

Cancellara: I know. It was Jens Voigt. But Pablo takes it to the next level.

Impey: Right. How does it go now?

Cancellara: If you would not fail me
                   In the high places
                   Switch to silent
                   And float above pain.

Impey: Bloody awesome!

Nibali: Merda! Is that Stephen Cummings?

He speeds up, but it may be too late.

The plan of Stephen Cummings is to ride way from the breakaway companions and avoid taking Nibali with him.

Stephen Cummings is now riding solo, with 27 kilometres to go.

He feels horrible on the uphill.

He is worried about Nibali catching up.

To avoid negative thoughts he tries to be in the moment.

Look about you, Stephen Cummings. Be in the moment.

Trees... water... road... grass... a clown...an infant... a parrot...

Stephen Cummings presses on. Shut up legs. Float above pain.

By the rules of the moment, once you pass something, it's over.

But if we stay back, we may learn something.

Clown: Je pense que Stephen Cummings gagne!

Parrot: Je pense le même!

Terence: It's not FAIR!

Parrot: What's not?

Terence: I have to stand here all day with a clown.

Parrot: Buck up. We all have our problems.

Terence: YOU don't.

Parrot: I do. Shall I tell you?

Terence: Yes.

Parrot: Every time I swallow I feel something tickle my innards. What do you think it might be?

Terence: I know! The cicada!

Parrot: Not him. He's long gone. I fear it's his POETRY HAT.

Clown: Quoi?

Parrot: Chapeau de poèsie! En l'intérior de moi!

The clown frowns, and menacingly takes off his clown hat.


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