Brave Soul

Do you really think Kierkegaard likes the shorts better? asks Alexander-Red-Hook.

I do, says Alexander Yellowsun. Didn't I say so?

But why? asks Alexander-Red-Hook.

Because he's thinking about going surfing with Belle, says Alexander Yellowsun. Remember how he said she was like his fiancée.

You're right. And she helped him take the shorts off, says Alexander-Red-Hook.

And then they went out of the room, says Alexander-Yellowsun. Anything could have happened.

Yes! And Gaius was out, getting seawater! says Alexander-Red-Hook. Which reminds me, dear, would you like some of mine?

I'm trying not to swallow it, says Alexander-Yellowsun. I filter it , but sometimes I forget, when I'm talking. I've spat out so much stuff, but it sinks back to the bottom and gets stirred up when I move. I know I signed up for this, but it's still really shitty.

Dearest, says Alexander Red-Hook. I can't just look on while you suffer. Hop out and we'll swap places for forty five minutes.

They swap places.

This is why scientific experiments require an independent observer.

Alexander Curly, Alexander Retro and Alexander Groovy have not noticed the swap, which took place not far from their too-small former olive containers.

They too are discussing the shorts.

I would wear shorts any day, says Alexander-Curly. Especially those ones.

Now that they're clean, says Alexander-Retro.

It wouldn't even matter, says Alexander-Curly. It was only dried sauce.

Purple's my favourite colour, says Alexander-Groovy. And skulls are my favourite motif.

Come on! says Alexander Curly. You never told us.

Well, now you know, says Alexander-Groovy. I wonder where he got them?

From the drawer in Gaius's bedroom, says Alexander-Retro.

No, I mean where Arthur got them, says Alexander-Groovy.

Who knows? says Alexander-Retro. Anyway, they won't make crab sizes.

It's not just size, either, says Alexander Curly. It's the number of leg holes.

The three of them are silent, picturing small purple skull shorts with multiple leg holes.

At least this is passing the time.

Terence is in the bedroom with Kierkegaard , watching him step into the shorts.

They're not even DRY! says Terence.

Dry enough, says Kierkegaard.

You love them, says Terence. Ha ha! Wet shorts.

Why are you in here? asks Kierkegaard. Go and watch the crabs. Someone should be observing.

Terence goes. Yes, he should be observing.

As he pulls up the shorts, Kierkegaard notices the faded label, below the back waistband.

Brave Soul.

Imagine his pleasure.