It is Stage Three of the Tour Down Under. The VeloDrone and Gymnosopher Ten are doing well, thanks to the Power Bar. So well are they doing, that Gymnosopher Ten now wears on his back the red number signifying Most Aggressive Rider. They are riding up a hill towards Stirling.
The VeloDrone: This is more like it. Have another Power Bar.
Gymnosopher Ten: Thanks.
The VeloDrone: You've changed your tune a bit since yesterday.
Gymnosopher Ten: Wisdom consists of being wise.
The VeloDrone: Well said. So it does. It is reasonable to try and win, if one finds oneself in a competition.
Gymnosopher Ten: Of course, one should also ask oneself why one has entered the competition.
The VeloDrone: And have you asked that of yourself? If you have, my friend, I am interested to know the answer.
Gymnosopher Ten: Well, Alexander gave me this bicycle. It seems a pity to waste it.
The VeloDrone: Very true.
They pedal on, meditatively, but with great effort.
Meanwhile Marie and Angel are riding at the very back of the peloton, forgetful of everything. So far back are they, that the police car following the last riders has passed them and normal traffic has resumed. They are forced to stop at traffic lights. They find themselves next to Mark Cavendish, who is wearing a bandage over one eye.
Mark Cavendish: Ohhh! Why is this happening to me?
Madam Denis: Everything happens for a reason. You should ask my friend Angel.
Angel: Don't worry Mark Cavendish. Remember, day is older than night, by one day.
Mark Cavendish: What's that supposed to mean?
Angel: Hard questions have hard answers.
Mark Cavendish: I see. Thanks, mate.
The lights turn green. They pedal on, meditatively.
Showing posts with label Most Aggressive Rider. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Most Aggressive Rider. Show all posts
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Friday, January 22, 2010
Norwood to Goolwa
Le Bon David and The VeloDrone are watching the final moments of Stage 4 of the Tour Down Under in the back of their campervan, and eating Goolwa fish and chips from a paper bag.
The VeloDrone: Merde! The German wins again! I don't believe it! He complained of muscle cramps yesterday.
Le Bon David: Lucky you're not a betting man.
The VeloDrone: Normally, that would be true.
Le Bon David: Oh dear.
The VeloDrone: ( glumly) It doesn't matter.
Le Bon David: No. I mean, Oh dear, look what's happening now!
They turn their attention to the tiny television set, where Phil Liggett is interviewing Team Existentialist about their possible disqualification.
Phil Liggett: So, Professor Freud, what happened back there?
Professor Freud: A complete debacle! Stones everywhere!
Phil Liggett: You claim that people in the crowd were throwing stones?
Professor Freud: No no, we were throwing the stones. But Rousseau was throwing his deliberately backwards, Sartre was throwing his stones at the trees, and I was throwing stones at them to try and make them stop.
Rousseau: What's this! You claim I did something wrong?
Professor Freud: Yes, you did, and so did Jean Paul.
Jean Paul Sartre: An existentialist does what he feels is contingent upon him to do.
Rousseau: As for me, I never claimed to be an existentialist. I am a Romantic. I do what I feel I must do. And as I do not wish to be hit on the head with a stone, I throw it behind me, in case Galileo is right.
Freud: Well, you got hit in the back by my stone! And that served you right.
Jean Paul Sartre: So did I. And all I did was throw stones at a tree!
Phil Liggett: Well, well, calm down gentlemen. It remains to be seen whether your team will be disqualified, although it won't make any difference to the overall results. But you'll be pleased to know that Professor Freud has been conditionally awarded today's jersey for the Most Aggressive Rider.
The VeloDrone: Merde! The German wins again! I don't believe it! He complained of muscle cramps yesterday.
Le Bon David: Lucky you're not a betting man.
The VeloDrone: Normally, that would be true.
Le Bon David: Oh dear.
The VeloDrone: ( glumly) It doesn't matter.
Le Bon David: No. I mean, Oh dear, look what's happening now!
They turn their attention to the tiny television set, where Phil Liggett is interviewing Team Existentialist about their possible disqualification.
Phil Liggett: So, Professor Freud, what happened back there?
Professor Freud: A complete debacle! Stones everywhere!
Phil Liggett: You claim that people in the crowd were throwing stones?
Professor Freud: No no, we were throwing the stones. But Rousseau was throwing his deliberately backwards, Sartre was throwing his stones at the trees, and I was throwing stones at them to try and make them stop.
Rousseau: What's this! You claim I did something wrong?
Professor Freud: Yes, you did, and so did Jean Paul.
Jean Paul Sartre: An existentialist does what he feels is contingent upon him to do.
Rousseau: As for me, I never claimed to be an existentialist. I am a Romantic. I do what I feel I must do. And as I do not wish to be hit on the head with a stone, I throw it behind me, in case Galileo is right.
Freud: Well, you got hit in the back by my stone! And that served you right.
Jean Paul Sartre: So did I. And all I did was throw stones at a tree!
Phil Liggett: Well, well, calm down gentlemen. It remains to be seen whether your team will be disqualified, although it won't make any difference to the overall results. But you'll be pleased to know that Professor Freud has been conditionally awarded today's jersey for the Most Aggressive Rider.
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