If It Looks Like A Ladder

Vello arrives at the Bunnings, and enters.

He walks up to a counter.

Who here reads Chinese? asks Vello.

I don't know, says the assistant. Maybe that guy?

She points to a customer who could be Chinese.

Not a customer, says Vello. A sales person.

No one that's here right now, says the counter assistant.

Typical, says Vello.

Is there anyone else who might be able to help you? asks the counter assistant.

The person who sold my colleagues five plywood panels, three ladders and a pot of blue paint, says Vello. 

When? asks the counter assistant.

This morning, says Vello.

It might have been Garry, says the counter assistant.

Then please call Garry, says Vello.

He's not here, says the counter assistant. He knocked off at five.

Then I'll see the manager, says Vello.

The counter assistant frowns, because no one wants to call the manager.

But she calls the manager.

The manager comes out of an office at the eastern end of the Bunnings.

And as luck would have it, he could be Chinese.

Frank Cheung, says the manager. I believe you want to see me

I do, says Vello. Can you read these instructions?

Frank looks at Lu Ban's instructions.

It's Old Chinese, says Frank. This could be the character meaning ladder. See, it looks like a ladder.

I take it you can't read Old Chinese, says Vello.

Not really, says Frank. But at Bunnings we go out of our way to help our customers. Was something wrong with your purchase? What was it for?

Vello explains that it was for a prop in his forthcoming play, a scientific machine to lift two grown men and two children (disguised as red sheep) over the mountains and out of Eldorado.

You must be doing Candide! exclaims Frank.

An excerpt, says Vello. That is, if we get this machine right.

I love Candide, says Frank. It has a universal message. Stay at home and cultivate your garden. We at Bunnings appreciate that.

Frank looks again at Lu Ban's drawing. 

I suggest a ready-made basket, says Frank. And one extra ladder. I'll arrange it. There will be no charge, because it seems you were mis-led this morning.

Wonderful! says Vello. Thank you. Come to the box office next Saturday evening. I'll leave you a complimentary double pass to our first night's performance.

That went quite well.

Vello walks out of the Bunnings with the ready-made basket and extra ladder.

Belle is waiting outside, with a large bag of feathers.

Now all that remains is to get these items back to the office.

On bikes.