Hopes And Fears For The Tour De France

Phil Liggett and Paul Sherwen are discussing the Tour de France teams and their prospects.

Paul Sherwen: Well, Phil, have you got any tips for us? Who'll win this year??

Phil Liggett: First let me say how wonderful it is to be in Corsica for the one hundredth Tour de France.

Paul Sherwen: And who do you think's going to win it?

Phil Liggett: Chris Froome's shaping up as the favourite. But Alberto Contador will give him a run for his money. And we mustn't forget Cadel Evans. He's older, but he came third in the Giro D'Italia this year, so he'll be in there with a chance. Andy Shleck's talking down his own chances.

Paul Sherwen: And what about some of the lesser known prospects? I hear intriguing stories about Team Philosophe this year. A new young talented rider.

Phil Liggett: Indeed they have, Paul. He goes by the interesting name of Surfing-With-Whales. He's certainly a contender to win a few stages, but I've heard a rumour that he isn't a happy man today. He's been going around with a very long face. Broken up with his girlfriend.

Paul Sherwen: Let's hope he can remain focused. He has two old stalwarts in his team to keep him on the straight and narrow. The Velodrone and David Hume are back for another year. I don't know how they do it. And of course they have Sweezus to do the hard work. He's never won a stage, but he's a very dependable rider.

Phil Liggett: And of course Gaius Plinius Secundus has a new team this year, Team Provenance.   He's enlisted Saint Niko, Arthur Rimbaud, and a new young man, Unni Moon. No one knows much about Unni Moon except that he's European. He popped up out of nowhere. I hear he's strong in the mountains and fast in the sprints.

Paul Sherwen: Perhaps you haven't heard the latest, Phil? About Gaius and Niko?

Phil Liggett: No, enlighten me, Paul.

Paul Sherwen: It seems they went riding yesterday in the mountains and both pulled up rather sore.

Phil Liggett: Oh deary dear, that is bad news. Will they be alright for Saturday?

Paul Sherwen: They hope so. The only possible replacement for either of them is a lobster.

Phil Liggett: You're pulling my leg.

Paul Sherwen: No, it's Ageless lobster. He's ridden before, in the Tour Down Under.

Phil Liggett: Oh yes, I remember. Team Crustacean. Haha.  Let's hope it doesn't come to that.