Penguin Contradictions

We'll stop off in Penguin, says Rosamunda. It's only ten minutes from Ulverstone.

I like Penguin, says Terence.

You haven't been to Penguin, says Surfing-With-Whales.

But I like it, says Terence.

Penguins are birds, says Arthur.

Are they? says Terence.

He thinks of the existential contradictions.

This takes ten minutes.

Are we there yet? asks Terence.

Nearly says Unni.

Yes nearly, says Rosamunda. We'll stop off for a coffee and snacks. And look for a chemist.

Don't worry about the chemist, says Arthur.

What's this? Are we stopping? asks Gaius, looking up from his smartphone.

Yes, says Rosamunda. In Penguin. Just for a few minutes.

As long as we get to Burnie by eleven, says Gaius. Poppy is waiting.

Poppy! says Surfing-With-Whales.

Rosamunda pulls up in Penguin.

Look, Terence, says Unni. Look at the bins!

The bins in Penguin are like no bins anywhere. They are penguin themed bins.

Not the ones that look like giant penguins, not those ones. They're ten a penny. These are proper steel bins, decorated on the outside with a circular frieze of painted cement penguins.

The others go into a coffee shop, while Terence stays out by the bin.

Hello, says Terence. I'm Terence.

Excuse me, says a cement penguin ( obviously the daddy), we're a BIN here.

And what? says Terence. You don't talk to strangers?

We are BUSY, says another cement penguin ( the mummy). Do you have any refuse?

Hee hee, says a third cement penguin ( baby). No he don't.

Terence tries another approach to the penguins.

Ding! He kicks the bin.

Arthur comes out with a coffee.

I wasn't kicking the bin, says Terence.

I don't care if you were, says Arthur.

That's exactly the ATTITUDE! says Daddy Penguin.

I hope you don't intend to drop that coffee cup in HERE! sniffs Mummy Penguin.

Hee Hee, laughs baby penguin.

Arthur drops the coffee cup into the penguin themed rubbish bin.

Ouch!

The hot coffee is still in it.

Serves them right. ( And Arthur, who now has no coffee).

I hate BIRDS, says Terence, walking away down the footpath with Arthur.

I'm supposed to look for a chemist, says Arthur.

Let's don't, says Terence. Let's explore.

They set off to explore Penguin.

The people of Penguin have gone all out to ensure visitors remember Penguin.

There is a giant Penguin down by the shore.

It is called the Big Penguin Penguin.

Terence looks up at the Big Penguin Penguin.

Big bird! says Terence.

Big Penguin, says the Big Penguin Penguin.

Do you like feathers? asks Terence.

Trick question.

No, says the Big Penguin Penguin. Others like feathers.

That was a good answer, says Arthur.

Why? asks Terence.

He hasn't got any feathers, says Arthur.

I have, says Terence.

That's why, says Arthur.

Terence is bored with intellectualisms.

He says: Let's go back to the bins.

They go back.

I've got a joke, says Terence.

What is it? asks Baby Bin Penguin.

Why do sharks have eyes? asks Terence.

Don't know, says Baby Bin Penguin.

So they don't eat their best pals, says Terence.

The entire penguin bin family bursts out laughing.

Hwark Hwark Hwark Hwark!

An indication of the level of humour in Penguin.