Stage 10: Aurillac to Carmaux

Farky, who had drunk water at the picnic, was riding up near the front of the peloton. The others were feeling a little under the weather, and kept towards the back.

Sweezus: What are Belle et Bonne and Marie doing today?

The VeloDrone: They're looking for a bookshop. They want to buy a copy of The Sailor Who Fell from Grace With the Sea.

Violetta: Sheesh! I wouldn't want to read it. Farky hasn't exactly been talking it up.

Sweezus: Yeah, funny isn't it. He keeps saying 'it gets worse'.

Le Bon David: I gather he means it gets worse for Molly. Poor Molly. She should never have googled the author.

Gustave: Yes, I agree. The story is gruesome enough, but what happened to the author was worse.

Violetta: You mean, when his friend failed to cut off his head? So another friend had to do it. And then the first friend had to do seppuku too.

Gaius: What's so terrible about that? We Romans....

Gustave: Button up Gaius! No, it was worse than that.

Sweezus: Now you sound like Farky.

Gustave: Well it was. Worse for Molly.

Le Bon David: Absolutely. When she read about Yukio Mishima's childhood.....

Sweezus: Yeah.

Just then Farky appeared, dropping back to ride with them.

Farky: Burrrp! Oooh! Pardon! What was in that aligot stuff we ate yesterday?

Violetta: Just Chantal cheese, mashed potato and garlic.

Farky: Yikes! Garlic! Molly hates garlic. I'm done for!

Stage 9: Issoire to Saint-Flour

The following day, Le Bon David was still smarting from Gustave's remark. Dodging fallen riders, he manoeuvred his bike into the space beside his new team mate.

Le Bon David: I've been thinking, Gustave, about what you said yesterday.

Gustave: Have you, David? Remind me, what did I say?

Le Bon David: You said, 'And you call yourself a philosopher'.

Gustave: Oh yes, you don't seem a very ethical one. Nor do any of your so-called Team Philosophe.

Le Bon David: Well, I just wanted to say, I think that's rich coming from you.

Gustave (shocked): Why so?

Le Bon David: One word, Gustave, one word: Grafitti.

Gustave (even more shocked): Mon dieu! You don't think it was ME!

.....

Meanwhile Farky, riding slowly uphill with Sweezus and The VeloDrone, was telling them all about Molly.

Farky: And to make matters worse, she googled the author Yukio Mishima, and discovered a terrible thing.

Sweezus: What?

Farky: When Yukio Mishima had completed his masterpiece, a tetrology called The Sea of Fertility, he committed seppuku.

The VeloDrone: Good gracious, how dreadful!

Sweezus: What's that? What's seppuku?

The VeloDrone: It's ritual suicide.

Farky: Yes. Ritual suicide. Yukio always said he would die when he finished it. But it gets worse.

Sweezus: How can it get worse?

Farky, Well what you do is, you kill yourself and then your friend cuts off your head.

Sweezus: Euuggh!

Farky: No, it gets even worse.

Sweezus: I don't want to hear it.

The VeloDrone: Save it for tomorrow, Farky old chap. We're having a rest day, and I'm inviting Team Philosophe and Team Bumptious to a grand picnic.

Sweezus: Yeah, save it, Farky. A picnic! That's cool!