Heartless

Yes, the Indignant Liberal Pineapple looks like a slug. Whoever heard of a pineapple that can't stand up? It's just lying there on the kitchen bench, yellow, or sickly bronze. It probably isn't even indignant, if the truth be known.

As for the other pineapple, my beloved Intellectual, he is down to 6 bite-sized pieces, in the fridge. It seems heartless to eat a pineapple that has read Victor Hugo, but, what can you do?
At least I have now written a funny poem about him for Colin's birthday card. Is it really funny? I don't know. Would it be wrong of me to show it to you, before Colin sees it? I don't know. So I will. Don't laugh. I mean, no, you may laugh.

Thoughts of an Intellectual Pineapple.

I never thought before being et
That I the chance would ever get
To read a book with glasses on
Although of eyes I have not one.
This just shows one never knows.

That's it. I hope I have succeeded in imagining the syntax of a pineapple. I hope have not been patronising, but have given him the dignity that he deserves. None of what happened to him since the day he entered my life has been his fault.