Les Champs

The final day of the Tour de France! Team Philosophe is riding towards Paris and drinking champagne from plastic flutes.

The VeloDone: Ah Paris! At last! I was born here, you know.

Jean Paul Sartre: So was I. And so was Simone.

Le Bon David : Not me. I was born in Edinburgh.

The VeloDrone: I sometimes forget. But you are an honorary Frenchman.

Le Bon David: Thank you. Oh I am glad the Tour is over. Will we three be in it next year? What do you think?

Jean Paul Sartre: I am negotiating to get back with Team Existentialiste.

The VeloDrone: Oh?

Jean Paul Sartre: 'Fraid so. I am more in tune with their mode of thinking.

Le Bon David: Haven't we got on alright?

Jean Paul Sartre: You called me a weasel.

Le Bon David: That was in the heat of the moment, when you were being a weasel.

The VeloDrone: It doesn't matter. We are negotiating too, Jean Paul.

Jean Paul Sartre: Oh, who with?

Le Bon David: Yes, who with?

The VeloDrone: You know, David. It is someone much younger.

Jean Paul Sartre: Wittgenstein?

Le Bon David: Younger.

Jean Paul Sartre: Who then?

The VeloDrone: It's Alain de Botton.

Jean Paul Sartre: What has he got to offer?

The VeloDrone: Don't you know? He's a sprinter.