Moon Wisdom

Hola, mi amigo! says Federico.

Hola, Fedo, says Arthur. 

Good to see you , says Federico. Can I buy you a drink?

Arthur doesn't say no. 

Federico orders two absinthes.

And what are you doing in Barcelona? asks Federico. 

This and that, says Arthur. You?

Poetry slam, says Federico. What do think of this one? Moon came to the forge in its petticoat of nard.

That's one of your old ones, says Arthur.

Who will know? asks Federico.

I know, says Arthur. 

Apart from you, says Federico. 

Moon, moon, says Arthur. What's with you about moons?

I like moons, says Federico. The moon is dead, dead. It will come back to life in the spring.

Moon wisdom, says Arthur. 

Federico orders more absinthe.

Arthur remembers he was going to ask Federico something about a toyshop.

What was it?

In the branches of of the laurel tree I saw two dark doves, says Federico. One was the moon and one was the sun.... You look bored.

Me, never, says Arthur.

Tell me about this and that, says Federico. 

All right, says Arthur. Any idea where I'd find an open toyshop?

At this hour? says Federico.

Mm, says Arthur. I need to obtain two Sylvanian bears.

Only two? asks Federico.

Replacements, says Arthur.

Tried eBay? asks Federico.

I need them tonight, says Arthur. 

Then we shall go looking, says Federico. One more drink first.

They have it, and then go out into the streets of Las Ramblas.

Are you replacing the mother and father, or the brother and sister? asks Federico.

Merde! says Arthur. 

Because he doesn't know.

He thinks back to Prong's earlier description. A hairy baby. Wearing a bonnet.

One must be a sister, says Arthur. It was wearing a bonnet.

The sister wouldn't wear a bonnet. says Federico. Perhaps it's the baby?

Is there a baby? asks Arthur.

Yes, a very small baby, says Federico. It's the only one I can think of that might wear a bonnet.

Arthur has a bad feeling that all the bear babies are exactly the same.

If so, should he get two babies, or a baby and a sister?

Or a brother. Since the bonnet will be on the baby.

Look! says Federico. A toy shop!

Is it open? 

Of course. This is Spain.

Don't Be Annoyed

It's going to be all right! says Prong.

Did he believe you? asks Terence.

Yes, says Prong. And he said we were kind.

We are kind, says Terence. But not to him. What else did he say?

He asked what the replacements would be, says Prong. 

What did you say? asks Terence.

I said Sylvanian bears probably, says Prong. And he said don't get two the same.

Why would he say that? asks Terence.

I guess he thinks it would look bad if he had one the same as the Virgin.

He could say it's a spare, says Terence.

I think he wants to keep it, says Prong. 

Okay, says Terence. Now we have to get two replacements.

Yes, says Prong. But we're not supposed to leave here.

What if you went to find Arthur? says Terence. 

And then what? asks Prong.

Tell him we need two replacements, says Terence. He can go into a toy shop and buy them.

But what if... begins Prong.

She is about to say what if she can't find Arthur, and what if, if she does, he is annoyed, and what if, if he isn't annoyed, and agrees to do it, he can't find a toy shop that's open...

Just do it, says Terence.

Okay, says Prong.

She flies off in the direction of Las Ramblas, telling herself it will all be all right.

Las Ramblas is full of cafés, nightclubs, bars. and a few seedy places.

The streets and pavements are teeming with people, coming and going or lurking in corners.

She scans the scene.

Luckily, Arthur is just coming out of one bar and has not yet entered another.

She spots him, and flies down.

What's up? asks Arthur.

Don't be annoyed, says Prong.

I'm not annoyed, says Arthur.

Terence sent me, with a message, says Prong. 

Which is? says Arthur.

Can you go to a toyshop and buy two Sylvanian bears not exactly the same, says Prong.

 Not much to ask, says Arthur.

Great, says Prong. Are you going right now?

Not right now, says Arthur. I'm meeting a friend in this nightclub. Maybe after.

Super, says Prong. 

Mission accomplished she flies back to the Sagrada Familia to let Terence know.

Arthur heads into the nightclub, to meet his friend Federico Garcia Lorca. 

He wonders if Federico would know of a toyshop that's open.

 

Holy Spitball

What did you find out? asks Terence.

Not much, says Prong. But we've now got a lookout.

What lookout? asks Terence.

There's this dove at the top of a tree, says Prong. And it's going to act as a lookout.

Did it look like a parrot? asks Terence.

Not much, says Prong.

Not all parrots look the same, says Terence. 

Have you heard of the Holy Spirit? asks Prong. 

THAT ONE! says Terence. 

Do you know it? asks Prong.

The biggest dibber-dobber on the palace, says Terence. 

It told me a secret, says Prong.

Tell me, says Terence.

The Virgin's got a baby Sylvanian bear in her bowl, says Prong.

We already know that, says Terence. Anything useful?

She's fond of it, says Prong.

Is she? asks Terence.

So we should bring a replacement, says Prong. 

Did Holy Spitball tell you that? asks Terence.

Mm-hm, admits Prong.

So he knows about the rescue, says Terence.

I guess so, says Prong.

You ruined it, says Terence. Now he's going to be watching, and warn her.

Sorry, says Prong.

A tear rolls from her eye to the tip of her beak, sparkling with illuminations.

It doesn't matter, says Terence. We can fix this.

Yes, says Prong. How?

Give him some false information, says Terence.

Okay, says Prong. What information?

Terence thinks.

Fly back up and tell him we're going to look for a replacement, says Terence.

How will that help? asks Prong.

Say two replacements, says Terence. And he can have one if he shuts up.

Is that false information? asks Prong.

Yes, says Terence. Because we're only going to get one replacement.

Okay, says Prong.

She flies back up to the top of the cypress.

What did Supersmarty have to say? asks Holy Spitball.

Thanks for the advice about the replacement, says Prong. And we're getting two replacements and one's for you, as a thankyou for keeping our secret.

I say, that's kind, says Holy Spitball.

Okay good, says Prong. See you shortly.

Wait! says Holy Spitball. What are these replacements?

Um... more Sylvanian bears, probably, says Prong.

Don't get two exactly the same, says Holy Spitball.

Good thinking! says Prong.

I'm known for my good thinking, says Holy Spitball. 

Prong flies down to tell Terence the good news that everything will now be ALRIGHT!

A Venerable Lookout

Prong flaps slowly.

As she rises, she makes observations.

A turtle, a tortoise, a pelican, a cypress, with a dove at the top.

She lands on a cement branch.

Are you new? asks the dove from the top branch of the cypress.

Yes, new, answers Prong.

I've always been here, says the dove.

Oh really? says Prong. What about before they built this palace?

It isn't a palace, says the dove.

Supersmarty calls it a palace, says Prong.

Who the dickens is Supersmarty? asks the dove.

Someone you'd know if you'd been here forever, says Prong. 

No one on this building was ever called Supersmarty, says the dove.

It's his code name, says Prong.

Let me think, then, says the dove. Is it the turtle? He believes that he's wise.

No, says Prong. Please stop guessing.

Okay, says the dove. Tell me what you're here for.

I'm here on a mission, says Prong. 

Not to represent something? says the dove.

No. Do you represent something? asks Prong.

The Holy Spirit, says the dove.

You must be proud, says Prong.

I can't say I'm not, says the dove. What's your mission?

Can you keep a secret? asks Prong.

Try me, says the dove.

That's not a comforting answer, says Prong.

Okay, yes, says the dove. I can keep a secret. I'll tell you one if you like.

That means you can't keep a secret, says Prong.

I've never told anyone this, says the dove. You'd be the first. Then you tell me yours and we're done.

Deal, says Prong. What's yours?

See that baby down there in the bowl the Virgin is looking into? asks the dove.

Yes, says Prong. 

It's a Sylvanian bear, says the dove.  

We know, says Prong. 

Who's we? asks the dove.

Me and Supersmarty, says Prong. And my secret is that were planning a rescue.

I hope you've brought a replacement, says the dove.

No we haven't, says Prong.

My advice is to get one, says the dove. The Virgin's fond of that bear.

That's good advice, thank you, says Prong.

I'll act as your lookout, says the dove.

Thank you, says Prong.

Having the Holy Spirit as your lookout is an honour, says the dove.

Yes, thank you, thank you, says Prong.

She flies down to tell Terence they now have an ally, or... 

... she may have just ruined the mission.

The Pee Part

Arthur gets a phone call.

He stops riding his bike.

It's me, says Sweezus. Just checking if you're there yet.

Yes, says Arthur. We're here.

What are you doing? asks Sweezus.

Nothing much, says Arthur.

We're arriving at six, says Sweezus. And we'll head straight there. What's Terence up to?

He's walking around, says Arthur.

Walking around? says Sweezus.

Just around the outside of the cathedral, says Arthur. He'll be okay. He used to live here, remember.

Yeah I know, says Sweezus. Is Prong with him?

Yes, says Arthur. And I've told them to use the first code word.

Blob? says Sweezus. How come?

They couldn't deal with Peony, says Arthur. The pee part.

Shit yeah, the pee part, says Sweezus. Okay as long as we know. What are you doing? 

Just a quick visit to Las Ramblas, says Arthur. 

Is that a good idea? asks Sweezus.

I'll soon know, says Arthur. See you at six. A bientot!

He continues to Las Ramblas.

Meanwhile Terence and Prong have remained at the Nativity facade.

Looking upwards.

Shall I fly up and check out the Blob? asks Prong.

Yes. The Blob mught be sleeping, says Terence.

Shall I wake it up? asks Prong.

No, find out what the Virgin is doing, says Terence.

She'll be holding it, says Prong. 

See what she's looking at, says Terence.

She'll be looking at the Blob, says Prong.

She might be looking at the tip of her nose, says Terence. Like she used to.

Okay, says Prong . Wait here. I'll be back soon.

Copy that, Flyingsmarty, says Terence.

Prong is pleased Terence remembers her code name. 

What was his?

Oh yes. Supersmarty.

Flyingsmarty commences her mission.

Pees On a Knee

The earlier train is about to arrive at Barcelona station.

Arthur waits in the bike space with Terence and Prong.

Will it be night time? asks Terence.

When? asks Arthur.

When we get there, says Terence.

It's night time right now, says Arthur. 

The train stops. 

Follow me, says Arthur.

He wheels the bike off the train.

Are we going straight there? asks Terence.

Yes, says Arthur. On the metro. Look for line 2.

Line 2 goes directly to the Sagrada Familia.

They look for line 2.

There it is. They get on, with the bike.

When we get there, says Arthur, I'll head off for a while.

Me too, says Terence.

No, you stay where I leave you, says Arthur. So I know where you are.

That's not fair, says Terence.

All right, says Arthur. You can walk around the outside of the cathedral.

What cathedral? asks Terence.

Your old palace, says Arthur.

And do what? asks Terence.

Make observations, says Arthur. 

Woo! says Terence. Observations of Blob?

There's a new code word for Blob, says Arthur. Better use it. 

What is it? asks Terence.

Peony, says Arthur. 

Ha ha, laughs Terence. Pee on E. 

It's a flower, says Arthur. 

A pee flower, says Terence. It pees on an E.

Pees on a knee! gurgles Prong.

Maybe you two shouldn't use it, says Arthur. Best stick with Blob. 

Okay, says Terence.

We get off here, says Arthur.

They get off at the Sagrada Familia stop.

And head for the Sagrada Familia.

At night it is enhanced by illuminations.

It looks different, says Terence. Which is my side?

This side, says Prong.  I've been here before, remember.

So have I, says Terence. A really long time ago.

I'll head off now, and meet you back here in the morning, says Arthur.

What if we're not here? asks Terence.

You'll be here, says Arthur. 

Not if we're lost, says Terence.

Ask someone to show you the Nativity facade, says Arthur. That's what this side is.

Got it! says Prong.

Arthur goes off on his bike in the direction of Las Ramblas. 

Havng done all he can to ensure that nothing goes wrong.

Brown Flower Entity

Okay, Arthur's fine with it, says Sweezus. Peony it is.

Excellent, says Sartre. I shall use it in my next blog post.

Without revealing the connection to the Blob, says Sweezus.

Certainly, without revealing that, says Sartre. 

He starts typing. And stops.

What colour is a peony? asks Sartre.

Brown, says Sweezus.

A brown flower? asks Sartre. Are you joking?

The flower? says Sweezus. I thought you were trying out the code word.

Good to know it works, says Sartre. But I did mean the flower.

Pink, says Sweezus. At least the Minecraft ones are. 

Let me see them, says Sartre.

Sweezus shows him the goat pen with the peonies planted outside.

Very pretty, says Sartre. And what do the goats eat?

Grass, says Sweezus. 

Sartre wonders what will happen when the grass is all eaten, but does not pursue it.

He returns to his task:

I am still on the train, We have linked up with our compatriots on the earlier train. We have agreed on two code words. The second is a code word for the first. The first is a codeword for the entity we seek. I see no harm in revealing the second codeword, which is PEONY. An ingenious codeword which also refers to the flowers my companion has planted close to his goat pen in the vain hope that the goats will not eat them. But then what do I know of Minecraft? 

He shows Sweezus. After all it wouldn't do to publish something too revealing at this early stage.

Sweezus reads it.

Compatriots? says Sweezus.

I'm French, Arthur is French, says Sartre, and Terence is, in a sense, Spanish.

What about me? asks Sweezus. I'm not French or Spanish.

We are all Europeans, says Sartre.

Not exactly, says Sweezus. But fuck it.

If my post is somewhat misleading, so much the better, says Sartre. Any other objections?

The goats won't eat the flowers unless I say so, says Sweezus.

But is that an objection? asks Sartre.

Not really, says Sweezus. 

Sartre presses 'Publish'.

Off it goes.

Not Beaver

The Blob is the code name for you know who, says Terence.

Arthur likes the new code name.

I'll tell the other guys, says Arthur.

He sends Sweezus a text message.

Code name 4 Sylv. bear = Blob.

Sweezus, travelling in the later train, receives the text message.

WTF? mutters Sweezus.

What's up? asks Sartre. Have your goats escaped from your goat pen?

No way, says Sweezus. I fixed the hole with wire netting. This is from Arthur.

You just spoke to him, says Sartre. What now?

He's given me a code word, says Sweezus/

For the operation? asks Sartre. What is it?

For the... ( Sweezus checks that no one is listening)... entity we're going to rescue.

What a fine idea, says Sartre. What is it?

Sweezus shows him the message.

Blob? says Sartre.

Terence probably made it up, says Sweezus.

I can't use Blob in my blog, says Sartre. It's too childish.

You can't use it anyway, says Sweezus. 

Why not? asks Sartre. No one will know what it refers to.

All your readers'll be listening out for it, says Sweezus. Including the ones in Barcelona.

Do you think I'll have readers in Barcelona? asks Sartre.

That's how the internet works, says Sweezus.

Sartre tries to think of a way to overcome this.

Aha! says Sartre. 

What? asks Sweezus.

I'll use a code name for the code name, says Sartre.

Yeah, go for it, says Sweezus.  A code name like what?

Simone, says Sartre. No... better not use her name. How about Beaver?

I've heard you call her that, says Sweezus. 

You're quite right, says Sartre. What do you suggest then?

How about Peony? says Sweezus.

Where did that come from? asks Sartre.

 I'm planting peonies around my goat pen, says Sweezus.

Won't the goats eat them? asks Sartre.

Is it a good code name or what? asks Sweezus. 

It is, no one will guess it refers to a Blob, says Sartre. Should we tell Arthur?

I'll text him back, says Sweezus. 

He texts Arthur:

Peony = code name 4 Blob.

Arthur gets it. 

And responds with a giant thumbs up.

The Substitute Blob

Where's Arthur? asks Terence.

We don't know, says Prong.

How come you don't know? asks Terence.

Because he doesn't know, says Prong.

Arthur? says Terence.

This man, says Prong.

Me, says the man sitting next to Prong. I don't know. But he did get a phone call.

Who from? asks Terence.

I don't know, says the man. He stood up straight away and walked off.

He probably didn't want you to overhear any secrets, says Prong.

What secrets? asks Terence.

More secrets like the secrets I overheard last time, says the man. About the rope and the net. 

And the Blob, says Terence.

What Blob? asks Prong, looking sharply at Terence.

I just invented a code name, says Terence.

Oh yes, says Prong. The Blob in the bonnet.

Don't tell me it's a baby! says the man.

We won't, says Terence.

Because it isn't, says Prong.

I was going to say, if it's a baby you're planning to kidnap, I ought to report it, says the man.

Why would we want to kidnap a baby? asks Terence.

Perhaps you are to be the substitute baby, says the man. 

Blob, says Terence.

The substitute Blob, says the man. The gang kidnaps the Blob and leaves you in its place. 

Me? says Terence. 

He had not thought of that. 

That isn't the plan, says Prong. Come on Terence, let's find Arthur.

Your gang leader, says the man.

Yikes ! This man knows too much.

Prong whirrs off, followed by Terence.

Soon they bump into Arthur, coming back.

Guess what? says Terence. 

What? asks Arthur.

The ticket inspector captured Prong, says Terence. 

And she got away, says Arthur.

And now he's off duty, says Terence.

Great, says Arthur. So I'll go and sit down.

Don't sit next to that man again, says Terence. He knows what the Blob is!

Why don't I know what the Blob is? says Arthur.

All the passengers nearby are listening.

Waiting to hear what the Blob is.

No Turn-Offs

Terence picks up the sunflower seed and the raisin and puts them into his pocket.

There's another one, says the ticket inspector.

A green pumpkin seed.

Woo! says Terence. It must have jumped out.

How did it get so far down the aisle? asks the ticket inspctor.

It probably bounced, says Terence.

He picks it up. 

And throws it down hard.

But the green pumpkin seed does not bounce.

Perhaps it rolled, says the ticket inspector.

Yes, says Terence. 

He picks it up again and tries to set the pumpkin seed rolling.

But it seems pumpkin seeds do not roll.

I suspect your parrot is leaving a trail for you to follow, says the ticket inspector.

It might be a trick, says Terence.

I'm going that way anyway, says the ticket inspector.

I'll go first, says Terence.

He sets off down the aisle, following the Trail Mix.

Past the kid with the ipad.

Your parrot just went past, says the kid, It was spitting.

Spitting! says the ticket inspector.

It spat these, says the kid.

Three currants, a raisin and a coconut curl.

Great, says Terence. You've broken the trail I was following.

Sorr-ee! says the kid.

That's okay, says Terence. 

How come you're following a trail? asks the kid. This is just a straight train.

He has a point. There are no turn-offs.

Terence turns to look at the ticket inspector.

But the ticket inspector has gone.

Where did he go? asks Terence.

I didn't see, says the kid with the ipad. 

Yikes! says Terence. I'd better catch up.

You don't know which way he went, says the kid. 

He would have gone that way, says Terence, 

Or back that way, says the kid.

Why would he go that way? asks Terence.

To get something to clean up with, says the kid.

Yes! says Terence. Well, I'm going to keep going this way.

He hurries to catch up with Prong who he hopes has warned Arthur the ticket inspector is coming.

The trail stops at the seat next to the man beside whom Arthur was sitting.

Prong is in it.

And Arthur has gone.

Yes! At least the plan worked.

No.....Yes!

The ticket inspector leads Terence to a small compartment.

In it, there's a seat and a table.

On the table is a packet of Trail Mix, unopened.

Wait here, says the ticket inspector.

He goes out, and comes back with Prong.

Hello, says Prong. 

Now I know why you didn't eat the Trail Mix, says Terence.

Yes, says Prong.

Why? asks the ticket inspector. 

Because it's not open, says Terence. 

A parrot should be able to open a packet of Trail Mix, says the ticket inspector. 

You try, says Prong.

The ticket inspector opens the packet of Trail Mix. 

Okay, says Prong. Now try and do it with your mouth.

But I've already done it, says the ticket inspector.

You should have asked him to open it with his mouth first, says Terence.

I see that now, says Prong.

Would you like some? asks the ticket inspector.

No thank you, says Prong.

You might later, says Terence. I'll tip some into my pocket.

He tips some Trail Mix into his pocket.

You are both free to go, says the ticket inspcctor.

Where to? asks Terence.

To the young man you've been travelling with, says the ticket inspector. 

Okay, says Terence.

It might be a trick, says Prong.

No it isn't, says Terence. This guy's off duty.

The ticket inspector nods in agreement.

No trick. He's off duty.

He indicates the door.

Terence and Prong exit the compartment.

Now what? asks Terence.

I'll go first and warn Arthur, says Prong.

Wait, have these, says Terence, scooping a handful of Trail Mix from his shorts pocket.

What for? asks Prong.

Leave a trail, says Terence.

Why? asks Prong. Don't you know where Arthur is sitting?

I know where he WAS sitting, says Terence. What if he's moved?

Good thinking, says Prong.

She whirrs off down the train dropping Trail Mix at intervals.

Terence waits for a while before following.

This is a good plan.

The ticket inspector comes out of the compartment behind him.

Sees a sunflower seed and a dried raisin on the floor next to Terence's feet.

There must be a hole in your pocket, says the ticket inspector. 

No..... YES! says Terence

Tied Up And Questioned

Enfin! says the ticket inspector.

Meaning me? asks Terence.

Meaning at last I have found you, says the ticket inspector. 

You found me before, says Terence.

But you were in a hurry, says the ticket inspector.

I was going to the toilet, says Terence.

You were, says the ticket inspector. I take it you've been.

Not yet, says Terence.

Which is true. He hasn't.

Then it was an excuse to avoid me checking your ticket, says the ticket inspector. I thought so.

Do you want to check it now? asks Terence.

The ticket inspector looks at his watch.

Trop tard! says the ticket inspector. I'm off duty.

Yay! says Terence. I'm saved!

You are one lucky fellow, says the ticket inspector. And so is your companion.

My parrot? asks Terence.

The young man, says the ticket inspector. 

That's Arthur, says Terence. I'm going to tell him.

Go ahead, says the ticket inspector.

Wait! says Terence. Have you seen my parrot? She's missing.

The whirring drone parrot? asks the ticket inspector.

Yes, her, says Terence.

She has been detained, says the ticket inspctor.

No she hasn't, says Terence. She would have borrowed someone's phone and sent Arthur a message.

She didn't want to make a phone call, says the ticket inspector.

Terence wonders why Prong didn't want to make phone call.

She probably didn't know Arthur's number.

She'll be sad, says Terence. 

She did look sad, says the ticket inspector. We offered her some Trail Mix.

Did she eat it? asks Terence.

No, says the ticket inspector.

Can I have her back? asks Terence. I need her for something important.

What might that be?  asks the ticket inspector.

A rescue, says Terence. She's flying up with a rope and a net. Because I can't. 

Up where? asks the ticket inspector.

It's a secret, says Terence. 

Follow me, says the ticket inspector.

Terence has little choice but to follow.

He expects to be tied up, and further questioned.

Oh No ...Bump!

Are we there yet? asks Terence.

Not yet, says Arthur. 

When are we? asks Terence.

Soon, says Arthur. 

Can I go for a walk down the train? asks Terence.

Okay, says Arthur. Which way will you go? 

That way, says Terence, pointing back to where he was sitting before he sat here.

He goes off in that direction.

Arthur starts thinking about Barcelona.

He had not thought much about it before.

How will he do this?

Last time he was in Barcelona he wasn't in charge of Terence.

He could go where he pleased.

Nightclubbing, visiting seedy bars in Las Ramblas.

But he can't take Terence there.

What if he dropped Terence off somewhere?

In fact he could take Terence straight to the Sagrada Familia, find a safe spot, and leave him there overnight. It's his home after all. Or it was.

Terence meanwhile has walked back to the kid with the ipad.

The seat beside him is still empty.

Where've you been? asks the kid.

Getting away from you, says Terence.

So how come you came back? asks the kid.

Because, says Terence.

Where's your parrot drone? asks the kid.

Good question.Where is she?

Terence looks up and down the train.

Maybe she got captured, says the kid.

She'd get away, says Terence.

What if she couldn't? says the kid.

I would know, says Terence. She'd send me a message.

How? asks the kid. Has she got her own phone?

No, says Terence. She'd have to borrow someone's.

And then what? asks the kid. Have you got your own phone?

No, says Terence. She'd phone Arthur.

Does she know his number? asks the kid.

No, she doesn't. And this kid is still heaps annoying.

Maybe even more heaps annoying than before.

I'll find her myself, says Terence.

He marches off down the train, and oh no!...

...bumps into the ticket inspector.

Guess Baby

Finish your drink, says Arthur. Then we'll go and find different seats on the train.

Okay, says Terence. 

He slurps his drink noisily.

You can have my seat if you like, says the man. I'm going to the bar carriage.

Arthur looks around for the ticket inspector.

He is nowhere in sight.

Thanks, says Arthur.

The man gets up and goes off.

Arthur sits down.

Phew! says Terence.

Why phew? asks Arthur.

That man was trying to guess who we're going to rescue, says Terence.

Prong told me, says Arthur. That's why I came back.

He was getting warmer, says Terence. 

How warm? asks Arthur.

He guessed it was a toy, says Terence.

It is a toy, says Arthur.

It's not BEING a toy, says Terence. It's being a baby.

He'd never guess baby, says Arthur.

No, says Terence. He couldn't. After he said toy I changed the game.

What to? asks Arthur.

Cannot But Be, says Terence.

That was risky, says Arthur.

No it wasn't. He didn't know how to play it, says Terence.

He would have soon learnt, says Athur.

And then what? asks Terence.

What does baby start with? asks Arthur.

E, says Terence,

It might end with E, says Arthur, But it starts with B and has a B in the middle, 

Yikes! says Terence.

Exactly, says Arthur. 

I could have asked the wrong question, says Terence.

Turns out you couldn't, says Arthur. If you thought baby started with E.

What if it was a trick question? asks Terence.

Like what? asks Arthur.

Terence thinks.

What if there was an E baby with a bee in the middle? says Terence.

You would never have asked that, says Arthur.

I just did, says Terence.

But you didn't know about the B in the middle, says Arthur.

Who says? says Terence. I'm going to ask the man when he comes back.

Don't do that, says Arthur.

Why? asks Terence.

It's too close to what he was trying to guess, says Arthur. 

That's not why, says Terence.

Why then? asks Arthur.

Because you think I don't know the answer, says Terence.

Cannot but baby? says Arthur.

Cannot but ee baby, says Terence. But ee, get it?

Arthur doesn't answer.

Not because he doesn't get it.

But he's had enough.

A Fortuitous Return

Prong whirrs off to tell Arthur to hurry.

Terence remains in his seat next to the man.

Is it an animal? asks the man.

No, says Terence.

Vegetable? asks the man.

Why would we rescue a vegetable? asks Terence.

Are you sure it's not an animal? asks the man.

It looks like an animal, says Terence.

It's a TOY! says the man.

This is close to being correct but it isn't.

At least Terence thinks that it isn't. 

Wrong, says Terence.

But close? says the man.

A bit close, says Terence.

Where is Arthur?

We should play a different game, says Terence.

As your parrot advised, says the man. 

Yes, says Terence. How about Cannot But Be?

I don't think I know Cannot But Be, says the man.

I'll teach you, says Terence. It's easy.

Go on then, says the man. 

He doesn't really care to play Cannot But Be.

Where is Arthur?

I ask a question, says Terence. And you say Cannot But Be something starting with B.

Can I have an example? asks the man.

Yes, says Terence. What if there are two bees in a box?

Cannot But Be two bees in a box? says the man.

That's the long answer, says Terence.

What's the short answer? asks the man.

Cannot But Bees! says Terence.

So it doesn't have to make sense, says the man.

Why? asks Terence.

It's your game, says the man. You tell me why.

Terence is trying to think of an answer to why Cannot But Be doesn't have to make sense when every time he has played it it has, when, fortunately...

Arthur comes back.

Stop! says Terence.

Arthur has already stopped. 

I was going to pinch your leg if you walked past, says Terence.

Then I would have kept walking, says Arthur, and you wouldn't have got this red drink.

Yay! A red sports drink.

Glad you're back, says the man.

Me too, says Terence. 

He pops the top of his drink and sucks noisily.

Arthur remains standing.

Wasps Whirr What?

Meanwhile on the earlier train, Terence is still sitting next to the man.

Arthur has not yet returned.

Want me to go and find him? asks Prong.

Okay, says Terence. Tell him I'm sitting next to a man.

The same man he sat next to, says the man. He should remember where I am.

Okay, says Prong. 

She flies up from Terence's shoulder and switches to drone mode.

Buzz-buzz.

Drones don't usually buzz, says the man.

What do they do? asks Terence.

They whirr, says the man.

Were what? asks Terence.

Whirr like a swarm of wasps, says the man.

That's wasp drones, says Terence. She's a parrot drone.

Makes sense, says the man. You wouldn't send wasp drones on a rescue mission.

No I wouldn't, says Terence. They might sting it.

It? says the man.

You know what, says Terence.

No I don't, says the man. 

Have a guess, says Terence.

An injured parrot, says the man.

He has been imagining that Terence and Arthur and the drone parrot might be going to rescue an injured parrot.

Now Terence imagines it too.

Yikes! If it was an injured parrot, and Prong turned up, the Virgin might want to keep Prong as a replacement. 

Not correct, says Terence. It's nothing like a parrot.

There's a clue, says the man. 

That's not a clue, says Terence.

A general sort of clue, says the man. So it isn't a bird.

Correct, says Terence. It isn't.

But the man is getting warmer. 

Terence hopes Arthur comes back soon.

Instead it is Prong who comes back.

Buzz-buzz, says Prong. Arthur's in the bar carriage.

Is he getting me something? asks Terence.

It didn't look like it, says Prong. 

Go back and tell him to hurry up, says Terence. Before this man guesses who we're going to rescue.

Why is he guessing? asks Prong.

It's just a game, says Terence, but he's getting warmer.

Play something different, says Prong.

Okay, says Terence. You go and get Arthur. And try to sound more like a wasp.

Don't they buzz?  asks Prong.

No, they whirr, says the man.

Were what? wonders Prong.

Ignoring The Hole

 Sweezus and Sartre return to their seats on the train.

The Imposter? says Sartre.

Okay, says Sweezus. I shouldn't have said it.

On the contrary, says Sartre. It's a very good title. I may use it.

But it's kind of ambiguous, says Sweezus.

All the better says Sartre. Who is the imposter? You, me or the bear?

You can't mention the bear, says Sweezus. 

I know that, says Sartre. And I didn't. It was you.

Those two won't remember, says Sweezus. Or they'll think it's a code name.

Let us hope so, says Sartre. 

He picks up his ipad and starts typing:

Something happened in the bar carriage. My companion nearly gave the game away. A couple approached us, recognised us and asked for a link to my blog. They too did not like the title, Existence precedes Essence. My companion suggested I should call it The Imposter. At first I thought he was referring to me. But he was referring to the one we are going to Barcelona to rescue. Now there are two strangers who  know the nature of the Imposter, but not the location. 

He is proud of this entry. He will show it to Sweezus.

He nudges Sweezus.

Shit! says Sweezus. I blasted a hole in the back wall.

Your goats will escape, says Sartre. Was it my fault?

You nudged me, says Sweezus. What do you think so far? Ignoring the hole.

Sartre looks at the Minecraft goat pen. It looks boxy.

It looks boxy, says Sartre. But apart from the hole it seems functional.

I'm making a grass patch in the centre, says Sweezus, and a composting area.

Fancy, says Sartre. Would you like to see my next entry?

Yeah okay, says Sweezus. 

He reads what Sartre has written.

That's good, says Sweezus. You used my title. And ramped up the mystery.

Without mentioning the bear, says Sartre.

And the two strangers'll know who they are, says Sweezus. And they'll tell their friends, and you'll get heaps more readers.

I must tell Simone, says Sartre. 

Trains Have Ears

Sartre and Sweezus are still in the bar carriage, drinking beer.

Which may be unwise.

Trains have ears.

Or so Sartre is telling Sweezus.

I know, says Sweezus. but it's not like we're talking about the rescue.

Or who we're to rescue, says Sartre.

Or what with, says Sweezus.

Ears prick up.

Not the train's ears, but the ears of a couple nearby.

They have watched the Tour de France on tv and recognised Sweezus.

Excusez-moi, says the man. 

No worries, says Sweezus. 

Aren't you the captain of Team Condor? asks the man.

Yeah, says Sweezus. How did you know?

We saw you on the tv, says the man. 

And you too, says the woman, looking directly at Sartre.

I was not in it, says Sartre.

Yes you were, says the woman. In Team Philosophe.

That was not me, says Sartre.

Pardon, says the woman. You look like one of those guys.

Which one? asks Sartre.

If it wasn't you, it doesn't matter, says the woman.

I was in Team Existentialiste years ago, says Sartre. Perhaps you know me from then?

Team Existentialiste? says the man. Are you.... Jean Paul Sartre?

I am, says Sartre. 

Do you still ride a bike? asks the woman.

Rarely, says Sartre. But I'm taking a bike to Barcelona.

We both are, says Sweezus. 

To rescue someone? asks the man.

I think it's meant to be a secret, says the woman.

So they were listening!

I shall be blogging it, says Sartre. In fact I've already begun. You can follow me, if you wish to.

Super! says the woman. What's it called?

There'll  be a link in Velosophy, says Sweezus. 

Yes but what's it called? asks the woman.

Existence precedes Essence, says Sartre. 

Maybe you should call it Rescue In Barcelona, suggests the man.

Or The Secret Mission, says the woman.

Or The Imposter, says Sweezus. How about that?

Sartre looks at him, severely.

Not you , says Sweezus. The bear.

The man and woman look at one another.

Quoi? Are they planning to rescue a bear?

Busted Eating A Crisp On The Phone

Sweezus and Sartre are in the bar carriage. 

Eating crisps, drinking beer.

Sartre gets a phone call.

Alors? says Sartre.

Have you begun blogging? asks Simone.

Oui, mon amour, answers Sartre.

I don't see it anywhere, says Simone. What's it called?

I'll send you a link, says Sartre.

He fumbles with his phone.

Is that Simone? asks Sweezus. 

It is, says Sartre. She wants to read what I've written.

Yeah, good plan, says Sweezus. See what she thinks of the title.

She won't like it, says Sartre, but she'll like the first paragraph.

About you paying for the bike spaces, says Sweezus.

Perhaps not that part, says Sartre.

Got it, ma chérie? asks Sartre.

Got it, says Simone. Existence precedes Essence. Are you sure?

Of course I'm sure, says Sartre.

It's your decision, says Simone. But aren't you planning to rescue a bear?

I'm not supposed to mention it yet, says Sartre.

I understand that, mon petit, says Simone. But what has essence got to do with it?

My essence has everything to do with it, says Sartre. The action of rescuing , indeed the series of actions leading up to the rescue, and the rescue itself, constitute what I make of myself.

It's not all about you, says Simone.

I know that, ma chou, says Sartre. Have you read any further? You'll see that I mention the young man who is travelling with me. 

Sweezus, yes, I know, says Simone. But I see you have paid for his bike space.

A courtesy, says Sartre. He is giving me useful advice.

Is he looking over your shoulder? asks Simone. You won't like that.

He has been playing Minecraft, says Sartre. He is making a pen for his goats.

That should keep him occupied, says Simone. What's that sound? Like crunching.

We're in the bar carriage, says Sartre. I am eating a crisp.

Don't eat too many, says Simone. You know how salty they are.

I know, says Sartre. And I do appreciate your opinion.

I know that, my love, says Simone.

The call ends.

What did she think? asks Sweezus.

Many things, says Sartre. 

Like what? asks Sweezus.

She doesn't like the title, she thinks I think everything's all about me. I pointed out that you have equal billing and she pointed out that I'd paid for your bike space.

She's a sharp one, says Sweezus.

She is, says Sartre.

I'll get the next round, says Sweezus. More crisps?

D'accord, says Sartre.

You Become What You Do

The very fast train is now moving fast.

Sartre is still typing.

How's it going? asks Sweezus.

Very well, says Sartre. 

Don't make the posts too long, says Sweezus.

I shall stop when I choose, says Sartre.

Just saying, says Sweezus. Short and simple is best.

I shall stop now, says Sartre. Did you bring any snacks?

No, says Sweezus. Bringing snacks isn't part of my essence.

You WERE reading it! says Sartre. 

Yeah sorry, says Sweezus. I'll play Minecraft or something.

He takes out his own ipad.

You seem to have a wrong idea about essence, says Sartre. It's not about snacks.

There's a bar carriage, says Sweezus. We could head up there.

We should clear this up first, says Sartre.

No need to, says Sweezus. I get it. 

Tell me what you think it is that you get, says Sartre.

Okay, says Sweezus. You reckon you become what you do.

That's succinct, says Sartre.

Maybe I should write one, says Sweezus.

No no, says Sartre. One blog will suffice. And it should be mine.

Sweezus starts playing Minecraft. He conjures up goats.

They leap over towers and crash into bridges. . 

Perhaps he should build something for them.

He remembers Sartre's philosophy. You are what you do.

Does that mean he's a goat guy?

No, that was his version of Sartre's philosophy. 

But he should build them something.

He starts collecting wooden pallets and bricks..

Maybe Sartre is looking over his shoulder.

See, I'm a building type guy.

But when he looks up Sartre is typing again.

Sartre stops. 

Having said he wouldn't continue, he has continued. 

Punctuation, says Sartre.

Minecraft, says Sweezus. Building a pen for my goats.

Do they now have a better understanding of each other's essence?

Bar carriage? suggests Sartre.

Yeah, let's go, says Sweezus.

Existence And Essence

Sweezus and Sartre are at the Gare de Lyon, about to board a fast train to Barcelona.

Sartre has paid for the tickets, including two bike spaces, at ten euros each.

They park the bikes in the bike space, and go to their seats.

Sartre receives a phone call from Simone.

Quoi, ma cherie?

Jean Paul, are you on board already?

Yes I am, waiting to depart.

Look out of the window, mon petit!

He looks out of the window, and sees Simone walking along the platform. 

She spots him.

He gets up and goes to the door.

You have forgotten your ipad, says Simone. How would you have blogged your adventure without it?

Merci bien, cherie, says Sartre, taking the ipad.

Bon voyage, says Simone.

Sartre returns to his seat.

What did she want? asks Sweezus.

It seems I forgot this, says Sartre.

Great! says Sweezus. Good on her for bringing it.

Yes, says Sartre. Shall I commence blogging at once?

Why not? says Sweezus. But don't reveal what we're planning.

I shall keep that a secret, says Sartre. I plan to philosophise mainly.

Yeah, go ahead then, says Sweezus. 

Sartre opens the ipad, and stares at the screen.

He starts typing: Existence precedes Essence.

Is that the title? asks Sweezus.

I hope you're not going to watch over my shoulder, says Sartre.

Shit no, says Sweezus. But I need to post a link to your blog for our readers.

Wait till I've finished, says Sartre. But how do you like the title?

Makes you think, says Sweezus. 

Thank you, says Sartre.

But.... says Sweezus.

But what? asks Sartre.

Remember to mention the bikes, says Sweezus.

We're on a train! says Sartre. 

With our bikes in the bike space, says Sweezus. Our readers need to know that or else they'll turn off.

I see, says Sartre. I shall keep that in mind.

He continues typing.

What do I mean by this title? Let me explain. I am on a fast train to Barcelona. A man, existing, but I could be anyone. The young man beside me for instance. He too exists. And he may have a plan of action which will determine his essence. The same goes for me. But I must not reveal my plan of action. Suffice to say, I have paid ten euros for a bike space. And an additional ten euros for his bike space as well.

Sweezus, unable to help himself, has been reading what Sartre has written.

He's not sure he likes what the financial revelation reveals of his essence.

The Thing Will Be Wanting To Come

 Flyingsmarty catches up with Supermarty.

They are level with the empty seat, where Arthur had been sitting.

That's where Arthur was sitting, says Prong.

You must be Terence, says the man who was sitting next to Arthur before Arthur moved on.

Must I? says Terence.

I assume so, says the man. You're with this drone parrot, and you're too young for a phone.

I'm not too young, says Terence. But where's Arthur?

Moved on, says the man. But you can sit here if you like.

Don't do it! warns Prong.

He might come looking for you, says the man, and this is the first place he'll look.

No it isn't, says Prong. It's the second place.

What's the first place? asks Terence.

Where you were when he left you, says Prong. Next to the kid.

Back that way, says the man, indicating the direction that Terence has come from.

Yes, says Terence.

Then he'll pass by here first, says the man. And you can attract his attention.

This sounds like a good plan to Terence.

He already knows how he'll attract Arthur's attention.

By pinching his leg. It will be funny.

He sits down next to the man.

I hear you're going to Barcelona? says the man.

Yes, says Terence. On a mission.

Secret mission, says Prong.

Yes, a secret mission, says Terence. 

I know something about it, says the man. 

Like what? asks Terence. 

You're taking a rope and a net, says the man.

But what for? asks Terence.

So your drone parrot can fly up and steal something from the Virgin on the Sagrada Familia, says the man.

What something? asks Terence. 

That I don't know, says the man.

I'm not going to steal anything, says Prong.

No she isn't, says Terence. The thing will be wanting to come.

Yes, wanting to come, says Prong. The rope and the net are just for its safety.

I see, says the man. So it's a sentient being.

What does that mean? asks Terence.

Alive, says the man. I guess it won't be a crime.

Unless I break something, says Prong.

Like a sticking out thing, says Terence. There used to be lots of those.

I'm sure you'll be careful, says the man.

Prong's always careful, says Terence.

Flyingsmarty is always careful, says Prong.

Is Flyingsmarty your code name? asks the man.

Prong isn't sure that she should have revealed it.

Unsmarty and Supersmarty

I'm moving, says Terence, getting out of his seat.

See you, says the kid with the ipad.

I'm not coming back, says Terence. I'm going to find a new seat on the train.

What about your stuff? asks the kid with the ipad.

I don't have any stuff, says Terence.

Except the spy parrot, says the kid with the ipad.

She's coming too, says Terence.

Am I? asks Prong. What if Arthur comes looking?

I'll bump into him, says Terence.

What if you've sat down already? asks Prong.

I'll reach out and pinch his leg, says Terence. 

He imagines doing it and Arthur reacting.

Merde! Oh, there you are Terence!

What if you're not in an aisle seat? asks Prong.

Your spy parrot is smarter than you are, says the kid with the ipad.

But not smarter than you are, says Terence. 

Thanks, says the kid with the ipad.

I meant it in a bad way, says Terence.

But you said I'm smarter than both of you, says the kid with the ipad.

Tricked you, says Terence. 

How? asks the kid with the ipad.

Because you believed me, says Terence.

Shall I go and tell Arthur you're moving ? asks Prong.

No I'll go, says Terence. You wait here with Unsmarty.

Who? asks Prong.

He means me, says the kid with the ipad. Don't call me Unsmarty again.

It's your code name, says Terence. In case I come back.

This changes everything.

What's your code name? asks the kid with the ipad.

Supersmarty, says Terence.

The kid commits the two code names to memory.

Terence marches off down the train.

Want to know my code name, before I follow Supersmarty? asks Prong.

Yes, says the kid. 

Now Prong has to think of a code name.

Flyingsmarty, says Prong.

Copy that, says Unsmarty.

Flyingsmarty flies off down the train.

Trick Thing

Prong has droned back to Terence to tell him who's coming.

Is it soldiers? asks Terence.

No, says Prong, it's Sweezus and a friend.

Which friend? asks Terence.

Arthur didn't say, says Prong. I think he thinks he'd better not say too much.

Yes, says Terence. He shouldn't.

Come on, says the kid with the ipad.

Come on what? asks Terence.

You guys are really bad spies, says the kid. You say things that people sitting next to you can hear.

Maybe they're trick things, says Terence.

Huh, says the kid. 

He doesn't believe they are trick things.

He returns to his game.

It's not a real bear, says Terence.

What isn't? asks the kid.

The one we're going to rescue, says Terence. Or not rescue.

Yes, or not rescue, says Prong. But it might be.

What? says the kid.

A real bear, says Prong. Or a baby.

Yes a hairy baby, says Terence.

But we've said enough, says Prong. 

Does Arthur want me to move yet? asks Terence.

Not yet, says Prong. But he might be about to change seats himself. 

How come? asks Terence.

Because the man sitting next to him heard him talking to Sweezus on the phone, says Prong.

So what? asks Terence.

Sweezus must have said he was bringing a rope and a net, says Prong.

Could you hear him? asks Terence.

No I couldn't, but Arthur said A rope and a net? What for? and the man heard him.

Yikes! says Terence.

Maybe it was a trick thing, says the kid with the ipad.

Maybe it was.

But this kid is annoying.

Almost As Good As A Phone

What's he playing? asks the kid with the ipad.

What's who playing? asks Terence.

Your guy up the train, says the kid with the ipad.

He's not playing anything, says Terence.

Then why does he need reinforcements? asks the kid.

Don't ask me, says Terence. He hasn't even got his own seat.

It's for when we get to Barcelona, says Prong.

Soldiers? says the kid. What's going on?

They're bringing a net and a rope, says Prong. 

Yikes! says Terence. They must be for the rescue.

What rescue? asks the kid with the ipad.

We're going to rescue a bear, says Terence. 

With soldiers? asks the kid. That's pretty full on!

It might not be soldiers, says Prong.

Why not? asks Terence.

Because it might just be friends, says Prong. 

Go and ask him, says Terence.

Prong assumes drone mode again. Flies up the train to where Arthur is sitting.

I haven't given the signal, says Arthur.

Terence wants to know who's coming? says Prong. 

Why? asks Arthur. Has he seen the ticket inspector?

No, says Prong. But the kid sitting next to Terence said it might be soldiers.

Putain! says Arthur. Soldiers on the train!

No, says Prong. Who are we meeting in Barcelona?

Oh, says Arthur. Tell him it's Sweezus, and a friend.

I knew it! says Prong. 

Then why did you come up here? asks Arthur.

Terence asked me to, says Prong.

That's a useful drone parrot you've got there, says the man sitting next to Arthur.

Mm, says Arthur. Almost as good as a phone.

Well, yes, says the man.

Terence hasn't got a phone, says Prong.

Who is Terence? asks the man sitting next to Arthur. Your son?

No, says Arthur. He's a kid who's travelling to Barcelona with me.

To see the Sagrada Familia? says the man. I hear it's amazing.

Yes, says Arthur. 

Very popular with the tourists, says the man. There are long queues, even if you've bought tickets.

I won't need a ticket, says Prong. I'll fly straight up to the Virgin. 

With a rope and a net? says the man next to Arthur.

Arthur nudges Prong.

Oh... no, says Prong.

But too late, the man is looking suspicious. 

Arthur may have to seat hop again.

The Confident Drone

Prong is looking for Arthur, somewhere up the train.

Look! A parrot on the train! cries a passenger.

Oop! What to do now?

Prong makes a decision, and starts buzzing.

Bzzzzzz.

Probably a drone, says another passenger.

A drone in the shape of a parrot? says a third passenger.

They come in all shapes these days, says another.

Prong flies on, now a confident drone.

She spots Arthur, who has found an empty seat and sat down.

She lands on his shoulder.

Merde! says Arthur.

Sorry, says Prong. Terence sent me to see where you are.

Arthur's phone rings.

It's Sweezus.

Hey, where are you? asks Sweezus.

Seems like everyone wants to know that, says Arthur.

You in trouble? asks Sweezus.

No, says Arthur. What's up?

I'll be coming to Barcelona, says Sweezus. With Jean Paul Sartre.

Good, says Arthur. When will you get there?

Tomorrow, says Sweezus. And we're bringing a net and a rope.

A net and a rope? What for? asks Arthur.

The rescue, says Sweezus. And oh yeah, Sartre'll blog the whole thing.

Can't wait to read that, says Arthur. 

See you on the steps of the Sagrada Familia, says Sweezus.

Okay, see you, says Arthur.

What's happening? asks Prong.

Reinforcements, says Arthur.

What does that mean? asks Prong.

Can't tell you right now, says Arthur, looking across at the guy sitting next to him.

Got it, says Prong. By the way do you have my curly whiskers?

Yes, says Arthur. But you won't be needing them yet.

Okay, says Prong. I'l tell Terence where you are and come back every five minutes to check if you're giving the signal.

Sounds like a plan, says Arthur.

Prong flies back to Terence, with the news about reinforcements.

Hi, says Terence. Did you find him?

Yes, I found him, says Prong. And he's getting reinforcements. Whatever those are.

Food and drinks, says Terence.

No they're not, says the kid next to Terence, looking up from his ipad. 

They're like, soldiers.

Terence wonders where Arthur is getting them from.

Spy Parrot Kudos

Meanwhile, on the fast train to Barcelona.

Arthur has given the signal.

A bent finger, raised.

Look, says Terence. That's the signal.

Prong stops looking dazed.

I missed it, says Prong.

How come? asks Terence.

You told me to stare, says Prong, so I'd look like a toy.

Next time stare at Arthur, says Terence.

Shouldn't we respond to the signal? asks Prong.

Yes, says Terence. Come on.

Put me on your shoulder, says Prong.

Okay, says Terence. 

He lifts Prong onto his shoulder.

That's a wonderful toy you have there, says his neighbour.

Thanks, says Terence.

Thank you, madam, says Prong.

Would you like me to save your seat for you? asks the neighbour.

I don't know, says Terence. I mean yes, maybe.... no.

I'll save it anyway, says the neighbour who seems like a nice lady.

Terence and Prong move up to where Arthur is sitting.

Ticket inspector, says Arthur. Time to move on.

Where to? asks Terence.

Up the train, says Arthur. Towards the inspector.

He starts walking up the train.

Terence follows with Prong.

They pass the ticket inspector.

Arrètez! says the ticket inspector. Ou allez-vous?

Toilet, says Arthur.

I must see your ticket first, says the ticket inspector.

The kid's in a hurry, says Arthur.

I'm going to pee on the floor, says Terence.

Go then, says the ticket inspector. I'll catch up with you when you return to your seat.

Thanks, says Arthur.

Phew! says Terence. 

They keep walking, until Arthur spots an empty seat.

Sit there, says Arthur. If anyone comes and says it's their seat, come and find me.

Okay, says Terence.

He sits down next to a kid who is playing a game on his ipad.

The kid looks up.

And back at his game.

Shall I go and see where Arthur is going to be sitting? asks Prong.

Yes, says Terence. Then we'll know if we'll be able to see the next signal.

Prong goes off.

The kid looks up again.

Spy parrot? says the kid.

Spy parrot, says Terence.

This is pleasing.

Her Practical Suggestions

Let me guess, says Simone.

Okay, says Sweezus.

You are about to ask Jean Paul to come with you to Barcelona, says Simone.

Are you? asks Sartre.

That's part of it, says Sweezus. 

Are we to assist in the rescue? asks Sartre.

From below, says Sweezus. Just as backup.

There you are, Jean Paul, says Simone. A chance for some positive action.

Sartre bites into a blue macaron.

Jean Paul is taking it seriously, says Simone.

Yeah great, says Sweezus. And it'll get him some attention.

Do you still crave attention, mon petit? asks Simone.

It wouldn't hurt, says Sartre. But how exactly would I get this attention? 

That's the best part of my idea, says Sweezus. You blog your journey. 

What a clever idea, says Simone. You must do it, my darling. A few words every day. How would you begin it?

Man is nothing but his plan, says Sartre.

Awesome, says Sweezus.

But first you should say where you're going and why, says Simone.

That will follow, says Sartre.

I think you should state those things first, says Simone. Before you start dropping your philosophical epithets.

It will be my choice, says Sartre.

Of course, says Simone. You're lucky I'm not going.

She picks up the last macaron. A brown one.

Alors, it's the last one, says Simone. Will you have it, Sweezus?

Sweezus remembers the dead fly. And she did not wash her hands. But yeah she never actually touched it. He was watching, the whole time.

Yeah thanks, says Sweezus. He takes it. 

I'm becoming quite excited, says Sartre. What shall I pack?

I suggest a rope and a net, says Simone.

Sweezus is impressed by her practical suggestions.

Which Virgin Is That?

The cakes are macarons, Sweezus's favourite.

He takes a pale yellow one.

Sartre hands him a coffee and sits down in his armchair.

I was sitting there, says Simone. I just got up to let the fly out.

Let it out? says Sartre.

Of the window, says Simone.

Yeah she made it look like a butterfly, says Sweezus.

She touched it? says Sartre.

Of course I didn't touch it, says Simone. I twisted the scrap of newspaper with the dead fly inside.

You should wash your hands, says Sartre.

I shall, says Simone. 

She takes a pale green macaron from the plate, and changes the subject.

Sweezus was telling me about something Arthur and Terence are doing, says Simone.

What might that be? asks Sartre.

They are on their way to visit the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona, says Simone.

A pilgrimage? asks Sartre. 

A rescue mission, says Sweezus.

A Sylvanian bear has been detained by the Virgin, says Simone.

Which virgin is that? asks Sartre.

Simone looks at Sweezus. Which one?

The one who dropped Terence, says Sweezus.

So this bear is a substitute for Terence, says Sartre. But why does it need to be rescued?

Yes why? says Simone. Surely Terence isn't going to offer himself in its place?

Shit no, says Sweezus. Terence hated being up there. 

Was she unkind? asks Simone.

More like vacant, says Sweezus. And Terence was always in trouble from Saint Joseph.

What kind of trouble? asks Simone. 

Used to chase him with his woodworking tools, says Sweezus. And whack him.

It couldn't have hurt much, says Sartre..

That's hardly the point, says Simone. I wonder if the Sylvanian bear gets the same treatment?

Yeah, never thought about that, says Sweezus. 

He takes a second macaron. A pale pink one.

Help yourself, cheri, says Simone.

He has, says Sartre.

I'm surprised you're not part of this rescue mission yourself, says Simone.

Me? says Sartre.

As if you would put yourself out to rescue anyone, says Simone. No, I meant him.

I would've, says Sweezus, but the boss insisted I do this interview.

What a shame, says Simone.

When have I ever not rescued anyone who needed rescuing? asks Sartre.

Never, says Simone. But that is only because....

Hey, says Sweezus, I've just had this really cool idea.

Good

And who will ger rid of this squashed fly? asks Simone.

It is already got rid of, says Sartre.

Not completely, says Simone. It is smeared on this newspaper. How can we serve coffee and cakes to our guest while it remains on the table?

Doesn't bother me, says Sweeus.

You are sweet, says Simone, but one of us shall move it.

She looks at Jean Paul.

I'll make the coffee, says Jean Paul.

I knew you would choose that, says Simone.

Sartre gets out of his armchair and heads for the kitchen.

Simone sits down in his chair.

She picks up the newspaper, avoiding the parts of dead fly.

And how are you, mon cheri? asks Simone.

Good, says Sweezus.

And le petit Terence? she asks, tearing round the piece of newspaper on which is the fly.

Yeah, Terence, he's good, says Sweezus.

Growing up, I imagine, says Simone.

Not in size, says Sweezus, but he's kind of maturing.

How wonderful! says Simone. Give me an example.

Errm... yeah well... he's on his way to Barcelona, says Sweezus.

Alone? asks Simone, twisting the torn piece of newspaper.

With Arthur, says Sweezus. 

Dear Arthur, says Simone. How is he?

Good, says Sweezus. 

And what do they plan to do in Barcelona? asks Simone.

You don't want to know, says Sweezus.

I certainly do, says Simone.

They're going to rescue a Sylvanian bear from the Sagrada Familia, says Sweezus.

I see, says Simone. Where is this bear exactly?

The Virgin's got it, says Sweezus. 

Simone smoothes out the ends of the twisted newspaper, so it looks like a butterfly.

It's impossible to see the dead fly in the middle.

Sartre comes in with some cakes on a plate, and returns to the kitchen for the coffee.

Simone takes her butterfly to the window. 

Opens the window and drops it outside.

Reality In Action

Arthur props his bike in a bike space near the door of the train

He should have paid ten euros for this bike space, but he hasn't.

Nor has he paid for a ticket.

Look for two empty seats, says Arthur.

I'm looking, says Terence.

Wait till the train moves, says Arthur.

Okay, says Terence.

Why can't we just sit down? asks Prong.

Because we'll be seat hopping, says Arthur.

The train starts to move forward.

There are a few empty seats, but no two are together.

You sit here, says Arthur. And I'll be three seats down. Watch out for my signal.

What signal? asks Prong.

Arthur holds his hand up and crooks a finger.

What does it mean, the signal? asks Prong.

It means hop now, says Terence.

Got it, says Prong.

Terence sits down. 

Prong perches on his knee.

Pretend to be a toy, says Terence.

How? asks Prong.

Stare, says Terence.

Prong stares, but it's risky. 

What if she misses the signal?

....

Meanwhile back in Paris.

You were pretty nimble, says Sweezus. I mean with the fly.

The fly is in parts on the newspaper with which it was killed.

Detached legs, mashed body parts, brown liquid smearings.

There is no reality except in action, says Sartre.

Tell that to the fly, says Sweezus.. 

My statement refers to human action, says Sartre. 

Yeah, I get that, says Sweezus. You still ride a bike?

Now and then, says Sartre. How about you?

Did you watch the Tour de France on TV? asks Sweezus. I was in it.

Oh were you? asks Sartre. I was mainly interested in the efforts of Team Philosophe.

They did okay this year, says Sweezus. 

I ask myself how they keep going, says Sartre.

Guess they like the attention, says Sweezus.

Hmm, says Sartre. Perhaps I should try something to gain more attention.

Don't you get much attention? asks Sweezus.

My wife gets more attention than I do, says Sartre.

A key jangles. The front door opens. In comes a woman.

It's Simone de Beauvoir.

Bonjour mes petits!, says Simone. 

Hey, Simone, says Sweezus. 

How lovely to see you! says Simone. Has Jean Paul offered you cakes and coffee? Non, I thought not. Il est très paresseux!

Look here, Beaver, says Jean Paul. I have just killed a fly.

Simone de Beauvoir stares at the squashed fly with distaste.