Prawny With Wings

Back at number twenty seven, they are all having lunch.

Except Terence, who is trying to pop the top of his berry flavoured Sports Drink.

Delicious rolls, Minnie, says Katherine. What sort of ham is it?

Champagne ham, says Minnie.

Very nice cheese, too, says Gaius. 

Have you tried the brie? asks Minnie.

No, just the cheddar, says Gaius.

I'll try your brie, says Margaret.

She sticks a knife into the brie. Cuts a triangle. Soft fat brie bulges out.

Mmm, says Margaret.

So the lunch is going well. 

But Terence is not used to a sports drink with a sipper.

He has popped it. 

And sucked it. 

Which is boring.

And is now squirting the red drink straight into his mouth.

That is more fun.

He holds the top further away from his mouth.

Squirt. Oops. He has missed his mouth and squirted Minnie's curtains.

Luckily no one has noticed.

He goes across to the curtains,which now have a red stripe.

He rearranges the curtains.

Bumhole! There are also red spots on the window.

And on the other side of the window, a bright grass green parrot with a yellow forehead and throat, and a red crescent between the throat and the belly. The superb parrot!

With a prawn in its mouth, which looks like Prawny.

Prawny with wings.

Terence makes a sign to the superb parrot and Prawny, not to mention the red spots and red stripe on the curtains, when they come in.

It is unclear whether they have understood it.

The parrot and Prawny are here! says Terence.

Minnie goes to the door.

Opens it.

You found us, says Minnie.

The superb parrot drops Prawny in order to answer.

Prawny floats to the ground.

You gave us good instructions, says the superb parrot. May we come in?

Of course, says Minnie. 

By the way, says the superb parrot, do you need someone to clean your windows?

No, says Minnie. I clean them myself, every spring.

Spring is a long time off, says the superb parrot.

That's good, says Terence. 

Flying Lessons Plus

The superb parrot carries Prawny back to his tree hole.

This is nice, says Prawny.

I like to think so, says the superb parrot.

Will you teach me to fly? asks Prawny.

After you teach me how to play Cannot But Be, says the superb parrot.

Flying lesson first, says Prawny.

No, says the superb parrot. You may not survive a flying lesson.

Why not? asks Prawny.  Aren't there safety provisions?

No, says the superb parrot. It's basically standing on the edge of the hole and launching yourself.

How is that even a lesson? asks Prawny.

It works for our babies, says the superb parrot.

Because they have baby wings, says Prawny. 

Now you see why I want my lesson first, says the superb parrot.

How about this? says Prawny. I give you half a lesson, then jump.

When do I get the other half of the lesson? asks the superb parrot.

When you catch me, says Prawny.

Unless you've flown off, says the superb parrot.

We'll have to trust one another, says Prawny.

The superb parrot agrees to trust Prawny.

He places Prawny on the edge of the tree hole.

First half, says Prawny. What if there are bees in the branches?

Is that it? asks the superb parrot. What do I do?

You think of an answer, says Prawny. But first you go down there and catch me.

The superb parrot flies down, and waits to catch Prawny.

Meanwhile thinking: This is an incomprehensible game.

But then thinking: But wait, it's called Cannot But Be.

And finally: So that might be the answer.

Prawny launches himself from the edge of the hole.

The wind takes him, and he lands gently not far from the superb parrot.

Sorry, says the superb parrot. I wasn't watching. Could the answer be Cannot But Be?

That is an unimaginative answer, says Prawny. A better answer would be Cannot But Bees in the Branches.

That's almost as unimaginative, says the superb parrot.

Prawny has to admit that it is.

The thing is, I was nervous, says Prawny.

You did well with the flying, though, says the superb parrot.

Use Your Ears

It's a prawn, says the superb parrot. I don't eat them.

I wasn't giving him to you, says Terence. I said guess who this is?

I guessed, says the superb parrot.

Not all of it, says Terence.

Ha ha, laughs the superb parrot. I know what you mean.

Terence wonders what the superb parrot knows that he means.

Not all there, says the superb parrot.

I may not be all here, says Prawny, but I have an eye and a mouth hole.

The superb parrot peers at Prawny.

Which one is which? asks the superb parrot.

Use your ears, says Prawny.

Point taken, says the superb parrot. 

Can you fly? asks Terence.

Of course I can, says the superb parrot.

How would you like to teach Prawny? asks Terence.

There are other parts missing, says the superb parrot.

Wings, says Terence. I know.

Then why ask? asks the superb parrot.

He's smart, says Terence. He learned to play Cannot But Be.

Come along, says Minnie. The others will be wanting their lunch.

Okay, says Terence. Come on, Prawny.

Wait, says the superb parrot. You may leave him with me.

Will I get him back? asks Terence.

In good time, says the superb parrot.

It seems like a good offer, says Minnie.

Where do you live? asks the superb parrot.

Just down the road at number twenty seven, says Minnie. Two flower pots outside the front door.

What's in them? asks the superb parrot.

Nothing for you, says Minnie.

Do you want to go with the parrot? asks Terence.

Yes. Prawny wants to.

Minnie and Terence go back to number twenty seven without him.

Prawny expects that soon he'll be learning to fly.

The superb parrot expects that soon he'll know how to play Cannot But Be.

Two And Two Together

Why are you showing your parrot the prawns? asks Minnie.

I was showing him the ham, says Terence.

But the prawns are right next to it, says Minnie. He'll put two and two together.

No he won't, says Terence. He can't even touch them.

Putting two and two together doesn't mean that, says Minnie.

Can I help you? asks the deli assistant.

Two hundred grams of champagne ham, please, says Minnie.

Terence lowers Prawny.

Did you put two and two together? asks Terence.

One and one, says Prawny.

What were they? asks Terence.

One lot had heads, one lot didn't, says Prawny.

You should have just looked at the ham, says Terence.

I know, says Prawny.

Minnie now has her ham and moves on to the cheese section.

What kind of cheese do they like? asks Minnie.

How would I know? asks Terence.

Soft or hard? asks Minnie.

Hard, says Terence. Or soft, maybe.

She buys a large block of cheddar. And a small brie.

Some bread rolls, and a kilo of apples.

What about my drink? asks Terence.

Of course! says Minnie. Choose a drink from the fridge near the checkout.

Woo! They are all sports drinks. Terence chooses a red one.

Minnie pays for her shopping and they exit the Woolworths.

On the way back, Minnie explains putting two and two together.

Putting two and two together means making a conclusion from two bits of information, says Minnie.

Prawny had two bits, says Terence.

What were they? asks Minnie.

Some prawns had heads and some didn't, says Terence.

And what did he conclude? asks Minnie.

Ask him, says Terence.

Minnie asks Prawny.

Prawny doesn't like to say what he concluded in case it is wrong.

What I would have concluded, says Minnie, is that some people like prawns without heads and shells, for convenience, while others enjoy the process of shelling.

Do they? says Prawny.

Yes, but you needn't think about that, says Minnie, Let's keep looking for parrots.

A good suggestion.

And there is one now, poking its head out of a hole in a street tree.

Look, says Minnie. A superb parrot. They're quite common.

Yay! says Terence. We spotted one. Come down, parrot!

The superb parrot had been about to begin a late breakfast of eucalypt flowers, but comes down as requested.

Yes? says the parrot.

Guess who this is? says Terence, holding up Prawny.

Prawny is embarrassed, now he knows what a real parrot looks like.

Their Own Heads

It speaks! says Minnie.

I know, says Margaret. It began life as a potato spun prawn and has progressed from there. 

It could hardly have begun life as a potato spun prawn, says Minnie.

I see what you mean, says Margaret. Obviously it was a live prawn before that. 

And now it's a parrot, says Terence.

It doesn't look like a parrot, says Minnie.

It will when it learns how to fly, says Terence.

I see, says Minnie. And who's going to teach it?

Me, says Terence.

Well I'm off to the shops, says Minnie. Why don't you and your parrot come with me?

Okay, says Terence. Okay, Prawny?

Okay, says Prawny.

Make yourselves at home, says Minnie, to Margaret Gaius and Katherine. There's tea and coffee in the pantry, and milk in the fridge.

Thank you Minnie, says Margaret.

Minnie and Terence and Prawny go off. 

If we're lucky we might spot a real parrot, says Minnie. 

Hear that, Prawny? says Terence.

They walk along the footpath, looking up at the trees.

A magpie drops down from one of them.

Look Prawny, says Terence. A parrot.

That's a magpie, says Minnie.

Put me down, says Prawny.

Better not, says Minnie. It might eat him.

Yikes! says Terence.

His grip tightens on Prawny.

Bluh! coughs Prawny.

You need to be careful with your parrot, says Minnie.

I am, says Terence.

They arrive at the Woolworths, and go in.

Now what shall I get them for lunch? wonders Minnie. 

They like apples, says Terence.

What else? asks Minnie. Something to put in a sandwich.

Nutella, says Terence.

Are you sure that's what they'd like? asks Minnie. It sounds like what you'd like.

They might like jam, says Terence.

I think I'll buy some nice ham and cheese, says Minnie.

She heads to the deli section.

Terence follows with Prawny.

What is ham? asks Prawny.

Pink stuff, says Terence. Want to see?

He lifts Prawny up so he can see all the smallgoods on offer.

Ham, salami, prosciutto, speck, bacon. ..... and next to these?

What are those curled up orange things Prawny is seeing?

Some of them look like himself.

But some have their own heads.

A Robber Would Look

Are we there yet? asks Terence.

Yes, says Margaret. This is Canberra. Now I just have to find Minnie's.

What's her address? asks Katherine

She moved recently, says Margaret. It's somewhere in Chifley.

You mean you don't know? says Katherine.

We're lost! says Terence.

Of course we're not lost, says Margaret. I'll phone her.

She pulls over, and calls Minnie's number.

Hello? says Minnie.

It's me, says Margaret. We're in Canberra. What's your address?

We? says Minnie.

I told you I was bringing two friends and a child, says Margaret.

Three friends! says Terence.

Three friends, says Margaret.

Did you? says Minnie. Oh...yes.

Yes, Minnie, says Margaret. Just give me your address and we'll come round and you'll meet them.

Minnie gives Margaret her address.

Thanks Minnie, says Margaret. 

Have you all had lunch? asks Minnie.

No we haven't, says Margaret.

Then I'd better pop out to the Woolies, says Minnie. What will they eat?

Anything, says Margaret. Although Gaius won't touch tomatoes and Terence should only have drinks.

Why is that?  asks Minnie.

You'll see, says Margaret. 

I'll leave the key under a flower pot near the front door, says Minnie. Go in and make yourselves at home if I'm not back from Woolies.

Thanks, dear, says Margaret.

Five minutes later they arrive at Minnie's.

This is it, says Margaret. She's left the key under a flower pot.

The firsr place a robber would look, says Katherine.

I know, says Margaret.

Can I get it? says Terence.

Yes, says Margaret. Look under that pot.

I'm a robber, says Terence, to the flower pot.

He lifts the pot and looks underneath it.

A worm wriggles out. 

A worm ate it, says Terence.

Worms don't eat keys, says Margaret. Try the other pot.

Terence tries the other pot.

No key.

Well! says Margaret. It seems Minnie is losing her marbles!

The front door opens.

I heard that! says Minnie. 

Back already? says Margaret.

I haven't gone yet, says Minnie.

Very wise of you not to leave a key under a flower pot, says Gaius.

You must be Gaius, says Minnie. Margaret's boyfriend.

Not at all, says Gaius. Simply a colleague.

And I'm Katherine, says Katherine. And this is Terence.

What a sweet little cherub! says Minnie.

Where? asks Terence. 

You, says Margaret. 

I'm the frog guy, says Terence. And this is my parrot.

He thrusts Prawny at Minnie.

A prawn! says Minnie.

Cannot but be, says Prawny.

He Is Not Sideways

Margaret heads down the Hume Highway, towards Canberra.

Katherine gazes out of the window, at trees.

Gaius, in the back seat,  peruses his notes on the green and golden bell frog.

Terence is whispering to Prawny.

Because Prawny has whispered to Terence that he's feeling scared.

Nothing bad will happen, whispers Terence.

Except I'll get drier and drier, whispers Prawny.

So drink water, whispers Terence.

What are you two whispering about? asks Gaius.

Prawny wants a drink of water, says Terence.

Gaius doesn't have any water.

I have water, says Katherine. He can have some of mine.

She hands Gaius a bottle of springwater.

Easier said than done, says Gaius. 

Tip some into your hand, says Katherine.

Hold these notes Terence, says Gaius.

He gives Terence his notes.

Then he unscrews the lid from the bottle of springwater, and tips some into his hand.

With his other hand he lifts Prawny up to the water.

Swuurp-ahh! says Prawny, sucking up a small amount of water.

Can you finish it? asks Gaius.

No, says Prawny. I don't want to vomit.

Curses, says Gaius. Now what do I do?

What's the matter, Gaius? asks Margaret.

I have a handful of water, says Gaius.

For goodness sake, says Margaret. Just suck it up.

Gaius is obliged to suck up the water, which tastes vaguely of prawn.

He dries his hand on his chinos.

Notes please, Terence, says Gaius.

Wait, says Terence. I want to look at the bell frog I coloured.

The bell frog is on the first page.

Look Prawny, says Terence. 

I saw it before, says Prawny. 

Yes but this is a lesson, says Terence.

Okay, what's the lesson? asks Prawny.

Close your eyes, says Terence. 

I've only got one eye, says Prawny. This other one's my mouth hole

Close the eye hole, says Terence. Now what does the green and golden bell frog looks like?

Green and golden, says Prawny.

I gave you a clue, says Terence.

Okay, don't give me a clue, says Prawny.

What else does it look like? asks Terence.

Warty, says Prawny. And with one beady eye.

That's because it's sideways, says Terence. 

Yes, says Gaius. This is a side view. They have, in fact, two beady eyes.

Okay, says Prawny. I get it.

But he is not happy, because he's not sideways, and has only one eye.

It's a useful thing you're doing, Terence, says Gaius. Prawny can help us spot frogs.

He may even attract them, says Margaret. 

Prawny cheers up, not having understood what she is implying.

Lasting Longer

That was delicious, says Katherine.

As was mine, says Gaius.

Mine too, says Margaret. Everyone finished?

No, says Terence. Prawny hasn't finished his milkshake.

I can't fit any more in, says Prawny.

Prawny is very small, says Katherine.

At least now he's hydrated, says Margaret.

Yes, that's a good thing, says Katherine. He'll last longer.

Okay, I'll have the rest of it, says Terence. So I can last longer.

You don't need to worry about lasting longer, says Gaius.

So why does Prawny? asks Terence.

Prawny is different, says Gaius. You're made of cement.

And Prawny has been cooked, says Margaret. It's surprising he's here at all really.

I don't like where this talk is going, says Prawny.

Me either, says Terence.

I'm not surprised, says Katherine. I shouldn't have said anything.

Never mind. Seize the day, says Gaius.

Let's do that, says Margaret. I'll drive the last stretch to Canberra. 

Does Minnie know when we're arriving? asks Katherine.

I suppose I should phone her, says Margaret.

She phones Minnie.

Minnie does not answer.

I'll text her, says Margaret.

She texts her sister: WE SHOULD BE ARRIVING AT 12. 

Done, says Margaret.

They get into Katherine's car.

And head for the Hume Highway.

How long is this going to be? asks Terence.

Two hours fifty minutes, says Margaret.

I feel sick, says Prawny.

Prawny feels sick, says Terence.

Is he going to vomit? asks Katherine.

Yes, says Terence.

What's vomit? asks Prawny.

When the milkshake comes back out, says Terence.

It's coming! says Prawny.

Have you got anything for him to be sick in? asks Katherine.

No, says Gaius. I only have my notes.

Any blank pages? asks Katherine.

They're notes, says Gaius. There are no blank pages.

Too late now anyway.

Bluh!

Prawny has brought up a miniscule amout of strawberry milkshake.

That was hardly anything, says Terence.

Where did it go? asks Katherine.

Down his front, says Terence.

Does that mean I'm still hydrated? asks Prawny.

Does it? asks Terence.

Not exactly, says Gaius.

Prawny does not like the sound of this answer.

Cannot But Breakfast

Are we stopping for breakfast in Wagga? asks Katherine.

That's the plan, says Margaret.

Are we there yet? asks Terence.

Almost, says Katherine. We're five minutes away.

Keep playing, says Terence.

Cannot but Breakfast, says the prawn.

That's an ANSWER, says Terence.

I know, says the prawn.

First there has to be question, says Terence.

There's a challenge, says Gaius.

Where? asks Terence.

To come up with a question, says Gaius. 

Too late, says Terence. I already know the answer.

It's an intellectual challenge, says Margaret. 

Harder than a game, says Katherine.

Okay, says Terence. What was the answer again? 

Cannot But Breakfast, says the prawn. And I'm sorry I stuffed up the game.

What if...? begins Terence.

He hesitates.

Are you stuck? asks the prawn.

No, says Terence, just thinking.

Everyone is quiet while Terence thinks of a question to which the answer is Cannot But Breakfast.

Thought of one yet? asks Margaret. We're nearly in Wagga.

Yes, says Terence. And it's long.

Out with it, says Gaius.

What if you got up early to drive to Wagga, and you hadn't had breakfast? asks Terence.

If you asked that, I'd guess it straight away, says the prawn.

Why? asks Terence.

Because breakfast is in it, says the prawn. And breakfast starts with B.

You shouldn't have asked such an easy answer, says Terence.

Katherine pulls up outside the Bayleaf Café in Wagga.

Cannot But Breakfast, says Katherine.

Everyone gets out of the car.

They go in, sit down at a table, and look at the breakfast menu.

Double Bacon and Egg Roll, Corn and Zucchini Fritters, Avo on Toast, Pancakes, French Toast with Seasonal Berries, Cheesy Omelet, Mushroom Madness.

Mmm, says Katherine. I'm thinking I'll have Avo on Toast.

Very trendy, says Margaret. I'll have the French Toast with seasonal berries.

Gaius toys with the idea of Mushroom Madness.

But settles for a Cheesy Omelet.

What can we have? asks Terence.

We? says Gaius. 

Me and my parrot, says Terence.

So your prawn is promoted to parrot? says Katherine.

Yes, says Terence. Because it's good at Cannot But Be.

This calls for a celebration, says Gaius. What would you like?

What would you like, Prawny? asks Terence.

A Double Bacon and Egg Roll, says Prawny.

Woo! says Terence. It wouldn't fit in your mouth hole.

Prawny looks disappointed.

In the end, Terence and Prawny agree on a strawberry milkshake.

The Prawn Ponders

Not correct, says Terence. It WAS a giant potato, then it was a potato inside a giant potato, then it was two normal potatoes.

I meant the whole thing, says the prawn.

The whole thing is my florin costume, says Terence. 

What's it for? asks the prawn.

Me, says Terence. I wear it.

When? asks the prawn.

Not yet, says Terence. You ask too many questions.

It's good to ask questions, says Gaius.

Okay I'll ask one, says Terence. Do you know how to play Cannot But Be?

I've never quite got the hang of it, says Gaius.

I always thought you invented it, says Katherine.

Only the title, inadvertently, says Gaius. 

Anyway, I wasn't asking Gaius, says Terence. I was asking the prawn.

What? asks the prawn.

Can you play Cannot But Be? says Terence.

What are the rules? asks the prawn.

You ask a question, and the other person answers, says Terence.

You need to give your prawn an example, says Gaius.

Okay, says Terence. Pretend that I'm me.

You are you, says Margaret. You should ask it to pretend that it's you.

Are you playing? asks Terence.

No, just listening, says Margaret.

Good, says Terence. 

He addresses the prawn.

Pretend I'm the asker and you're the answerer.

The prawn pretends, and waits for the question.

What if there were two bees? says Terence.

The prawn ponders.

Cannot But Bees? says the prawn.

You're very good at this, says Terence.

The prawn always knew that it would be.

Your turn, says Terence.

What can that delicious smell be? asks the prawn.

Is this the game or what? asks Terence.

The game, says the prawn. 

I don't know, says Terence. What's the answer?

Cannot But Barbecue! says the prawn.

A sophisticated question and answer, says Katherine. Well done, prawn!

I taught him the game, says Terence.

Well done you too, says Katherine.

City Of Good Sports

We need to get going, says Margaret. 

I haven't finished my tea, says Katherine.

Nor I, says Gaius.

Drink up. We'll have a proper breakfast in Wagga, says Margaret.

Katherine and Gaius gulp down the rest of their tea.

Everyone ready? asks Margaret.

Everyone is, except Terence, who can't find his parrot.

I can't find my parrot, says Terence.

You don't have a parrot, says Margaret.

Just because it can't fly yet doesn't meant it's not a parrot, says Terence.

A triple negative! says Katherine. Let's unpack it.

Who packed it? asks Terence.

I meant unpack your triple negative, says Katherine. 

Are we talking about that dead prawn thing? asks Margaret. 

Obviously, says Katherine. Terence was just saying that when it can fly it will function as a parrot.

Not necessarily, says Gaius. I think he intended us to believe it's already a parrot.

Well, I dropped it in the bin, says Margaret. I didn't think he would want it.

I do want it! says Terence.

The parrot-prawn is retrieved from the bin. Luckily, not much else had been in it,

Just a few apple peelings. and a well-used wedge of lemon.

They head to Reception.

Checking out? asks Reception.

Yes, says Margaret. We're heading to Wagga for breakfast.

You'll like Wagga, says Reception. They call it the City of Good Sports.

Why is that? asks Katherine.

A lot of famous sports persons come from Wagga, says Reception.

How fascinating, says Katherine. Who for example?

Oh, now you're asking, says Reception. Let me think....Mark Taylor... Paul Kelly... Melanie Twitt...

A former hockeyroo co-captain, says Katherine. I've heard of her.

Yes, that's her, says Reception.

It is always good to have a chat with Reception before leaving.

At last they get away.

Now they're in Katherine's car, heading to Wagga.

Katherine is driving.

Terence is in the back seat with Gaius, and the prawn.

This trip is boring, says Terence.

Talk to your prawn, says Gaius. That will help to pass the time pleasantly.

Okay, says Terence.

He begins to talk to his prawn. 

Don't worry about not being able to fly yet, says Terence.

Why? asks the prawn.

There are more things to learn, says Terence.

What? asks the prawn.

Knowing what things are, says Terence. Guess what this is?

Terence points at his florin costume, which is wedged between the back of the passenger seat and Gaius's knees.

A giant potato? guesses the prawn.

An intelligent guess, or does the prawn think everything's a giant potato?

Lemon Surprise

Katherine makes three cups of tea.

Margaret slices Gaius's last apple.

Gaius looks for the wedge of lemon.

Look in the bin, says Katherine.

Ah yes. The wedge of lemon is there in the bin.

Now where's the black pen?

Can we keep it? asks Terence.

Not if I get it working again, says Gaius. I must return it to Gerald.

It wasn't HIS! says Terence.

Hers, then, says Gaius. I wonder which room they were in?

Go and ask at Reception, says Katherine.

You should go now, says Margaret. They might check out early.

Don't go now, says Terence.

But Gaius has got the pen working, and goes now.

You're bright and early, says Reception.

I need to catch Gerald and his companion before they leave, says Gaius.

Gerald? says Reception.

That's all I know of his name, says Gaius. Their pen wasn't working, but I've managed to fix it.

How kind, says Recption. You can leave it with me if you like.

I will, says Gaius. My cup of tea will be getting cold. 

Were you all comfortable last night? asks Reception.

We were, indeed, says Gaius.

What about the little guy? asks Reception. Did he look out of the window? Did he colour his frog?

Not only that, says Gaius. He gave his potato spun prawn a flying lesson.

They're normally meant for eating, says Reception.

I know, says Gaius. But he isn't allowed to eat solids.

Did it learn how to fly? asks Reception, expecting no for an answer.

I think not, says Gaius. Except for the bits of potato.

So the cleaners will have a job to do, says Reception.

I believe we've picked it all up, says Gaius.

Excellent, says Reception. Well, don't let your tea get any colder.

Gaius returns to room ten.

A minute later, Gerald and his companion arrive at Reception.

I've a surprise for you, says Reception. 

She shows them the pen.

Gerald takes it.

The gentleman in room ten fixed it, says Reception,. He's just dropped it off.

I wonder if it still smells of prawn, says Gerald's companion.

Smell it, Cloris,  says Gerald.

He thrusts it under her nose.

Sniff.

Lemon! says Cloris.

Morning Movements

Gaius wakes early. 

His feet are cold.

Look, says Terence. Here's my new parrot.

Gaius looks at the new parrot.

It looks more like a prawn.

Where did it come from? asks Gaius.

YOU know! says Terence. My potato spun prawn.

Wheres the potato? asks Gaius.

It fell off when he was learning to fly, says Terence.

So where is it? asks Gaius.

Terence hadn't thought this would matter.

On the floor, says Terence.

I'll clear it up before Katherine and Margaret wake, says Gaius.

He hops off the bed and starts picking up fragments of curly potato.

Margaret stirs. Where is she?

 Oh yes, sleeping in a bed next to Gaius.

She opens one eye.

Gaius's bed is empty. She sits up.

Good morning, Margaret, says Gaius. I trust you slept well?

Very well, says Margaret. What are you doing down there?

Picking up bits of potato, says Gaius. 

I'll help you, says Margaret. But first I must go to the toilet.

She gets out of bed and goes into the bathroom.

Katherine sits up.

Katherine's awake! says Terence.

No wonder, says Gaius 

What's going on? asks Katherine.

Gaius is picking up the potato that fell off my parrot when I was teaching it to fly, says Terence. And Margaret's going to help when she's been to the toilet.

I've been, says Margaret, emerging.

I'll help too after I've been, says Katherine.

Gaius keeps picking up tiny shreds of potato.

Parrot? thinks Katherine, as she sits on the toilet. I bet it's that prawn!

When she comes out, there is a pile of potato parts on the table.

Terence, says Katherine, surely you don't expect a dead prawn to fly?

It's trying, says Terence.

It's the prawn he had at dinner, says Margaret. 

I guessed that, says Katherine.

It just needs better wings, says Terence.

Better than what? asks Katherine.

The ones I drew with the black pen, says Terence.

So! says Margaret. You used the black pen on the prawn again, after Gaius had fixed it.

Better test it, says Katherine. Do we still have the wedge of lemon?

The question is for Gaius, who last used the lemon.

But Gaius is now in the toilet.

Tempting Except For The Flying

 It is a long night already.

Terence has finished his eye.

He has decorated the warty blotches, with random black dots.

You look good, Freddy, says Terence.

But Freddy is only an illustration and not a real frog.

Terence looks out of the window.

Up at the night sky.

If only he had someone to talk to.

Like a parrot.

The moon becomes visible. Then disappears, wrapped in cloud.

It reminds him of his potato spun prawn. Where is it?

He put it down somewhere.

On the table. But it isn't here now.

He listens. Perhaps it is wailing.

Ouaiouai. 

It's coming from the fridge in the corner.

He gets down from the table, and tiptoes to the fridge.

Opens the fridge.

Inside, is his potato spun prawn, wailing.

Ouaiouai.

How come you can wail? asks Terence. You don't have a head.

I've got these, says the potato spun prawn.

These what? asks Terence.

These two dots, says the potato spun prawn. Gerald did them, remember?

They're EYES! says Terence. And not even real ones.

One is an eye and the other one is wailer, says the potato spun prawn. 

Do you want to come out of the fridge? asks Terence.

Yes, it's cold in here, says the potato spun prawn.

Want to see my green and golden bell frog? asks Terence.

Okay, says the potato spun prawn.

Terence carries the potato spun prawn to the table

Did you draw that? asks the potato spun prawn.

No, I just coloured it in, says Terence.

You're a really good colourer, says the potato spun prawn.

Thanks, says Terence. How would you like to be my new parrot?

What does that involve? asks the potato spun prawn.

Helping me, says Terence. And flying.

Well, this is tempting, except for the flying

Worse, Without It

 Margaret has gone to sleep in her bed in the middle.

Katherine has got into the bed on the end.

Gaius is sitting on his bed near the window.

When are you going to bed? asks Terence.

When the ladies are asleep, says Gaius.

They ARE asleep, says Terence.

What will you do? asks Gaius.

Colouring, says Terence. 

Would you like to do it by the window? asks Gaius. I could move the table.

Yes, says Terence. I like being near the window.

Gaius moves the table across to the window. 

A small table, but it squeaks on the tiles.

Margaret is roused from her sleep by the squeaking.

What was that? wonders Margaret

Then: Where am I ? 

Then: Oh yes, in a motel room with Katherine and Gaius.

Perhaps that noise was Gaius getting up to go to the toilet. 

In his underwear. 

Or worse. Without it.

Dare I look?

No that would mean turning over.

She looks across at Katherine whose eyes are wide open.

She'll have seen something.

Margret tries to go back to sleep. 

You've woken Margaret, says Katherine.

Curses, says Gaius. It was the table. Sorry Margaret.

That is perfectly all right, says Margaret.

Should she turn over? It's now or never.

Ah! Gaius is still in his day clothes.

I'm just setting Terence up for the night, says Gaius. He plans to colour the bell frog by the window.

Quietly, I hope, says Katherine.

So do I, says Terence. Can you hear this?

He starts on the eye.

No, says Katherine.

Nor me, says Margaret.

Are you going to bed now, Gaius? asks Katherine. 

I'm not getting into it, says Gaius. It may be too hot, and I don't want to dirty the sheets.

Don't tell me you're going to sleep in your clothes, says Katherine.

Nothing wrong with that, says Gaius. I'll take my clogs off, and cover my feet with a towel.

Both Margaret and Katherine have their own thoughts about this.

They soon fall asleep though, being tired.

Gaius turns the light out and lies down on his bed. 

All is quiet.

Terence finishes the eye, by the light of the moon coming in through the window.

Now what? This will be a long night.

Now She Doesn't

They return to room ten, and its three single beds.

It's been a long day, says Margaret. I think I'll turn in right away.

Me too, says Katherine. But first, we should choose which bed we're having.

Which one are you having Gaius? asks Margaret.

Whichever one's left, says Gaius.

Have the one next to the window, says Terence. 

Very well, says Gaius. 

I'll take the one in the middle, says Margaret.

Next to him! says Terence. 

I could take it, says Katherine.

It matters little to me, says Gaius. I sleep soundly.

Margaret goes off to the bathroom, with her toothbrush and pyjamas.

Katherine sits on the bed near the door, awaiting her turn.

Gaius takes the black pen out of his pocket and strokes the tip with his finger.

Is it working? asks Terence.

No, says Gaius. I need something like a wedge of lemon.

You're in luck, Gaius, says Katherine.

She hands him a wedge of lemon.

Where did that come from? asks Gaius.

Your surf and turf, says Katherine. I thought, as we were leaving the restaurant, that it might fix the pen.

Most ingenious, Katherine, says Gaius. 

He pokes the tip of the black pen into the wedge of lemon.

And tries it again on his finger.

Let's see! says Terence.

Gaius shows him the squiggle he has drawn with the pen.

Yippee! cries Terence.

Margaret comes out of the bathroom, smelling nice.

Gaius has fixed the pen, says Katherine.

Well done, says Margaret.

Katherine had the presence of mind to save a wedge of lemon, says Gaius.

Did she? says Margaret. I didn't see lemon wedges on our dinner.

It was on GAIUS'S! says Terence.

Margaret raises her eyebrows.

Katherine picks up her pyjamas and heads to the bathroom.

Well night-night, says Margaret, getting into her bed in the middle.

Good night Margaret, says Gaius. I hope I don't disturb you when I get into bed.

I shall be fast asleep, says Margaret.

So you won't see him in his pyjamas, says Terence.

She wouldn't anyway, says Gaius. I didn't bring pyjamas.

Yikes, says Terence. Are you going to sleep in your undies?

No, says Gaius.

He doesn't want Margaret to think he plans to sleep in his undies.

And now she doesn't.

The Dud Pen

Terence returns to the table.

I nearly got a black pen, says Terence.

What do you mean nearly? asks Katherine.

They kept it, says Terence.

Those people you were talking to? asks Katherine.

Yes them, says Terence. Look what they did to my prawn.

Katherine peers at Terence's potato spun prawn.

It has eyes! says Katherine. Look, Margaret.

Margaret looks at the eyes. So does Gaius.

Did you ask them to do it? asks Gaius.

No, says Terence. I asked them if they had a black pen.

It will probably have ruined their pen, says Gaius.

Perhaps you should go across and apologise, says Katherine.

I? says Gaius.

You've finished your dinner, says Katherine. Margaret and I are still struggling.

All right, says Gaius. 

He stands up and walks over to Gerald and the woman.

I've just come to thank you for drawing eyes on our young friend's potato spun prawn, says Gaius. Did it ruin your pen?

We don't think so, says Gerald.

Meaning you havn't tested the pen? asks Gaius. 

No, we haven't, says the woman. Perhaps we should, Gerald.

She takes it out of her handbag.

How shall I test it? asks the woman.

On this paper napkin, says Gerald.

She tries to write something with the pen on the paper napkin.

And fails.

Try spitting on it, says Gerald.

No, Gerald! says the woman. That's disgusting. I'll just have to throw it away.

In that case I must apologise, says Gaius.

Not at all, says the woman. It's all Gerald's fault, really.

Yes it is, says Gerald. Think nothing of it.

May I have the pen, if you're throwing it away? asks Gaius. If I get it working, I'll return it. Are you staying at the motel?

Yes, we are says the woman. That's very kind of you.

I have my own reasons, says Gaius. If I do get it working, young Terence can use it to blacken the eyes of a green and golden bell frog he's colouring.

O how charming! says the woman. I hope you do get it working.

Thank you, says Gaius. I'll let you know in the morning.

He takes the dud pen back to the table, to tell Terence the news.

A Prawn's Life

Is this for the little one? asks the server.

Yes, says Margaret.

The server places a plate before Terence.

On the plate is his potato spun prawn.

Gaius, Margaret and Katherine eye it sideways.

Where's the prawn? asks Terence.

Wrapped inside the strings of potato, says Katherine. There, see its tail?

Where's its head? asks Terence.

It's probably been cut off, says Gaius. I wonder how they do the potato?

They use a potato curler, says Katherine. Then wrap it round and round the prawn and deep fry it.

Hello little prawn, says Terence, I'm not going to eat you. 

The little prawn has had enough things go wrong in its life to appreciate this concession, if that were possible.

After dinner I'll show you my frog picture, says Terence.

It won't be able to see it, says Katherine. No eyes.

Not to mention it's been deep fried, says Margaret. 

The two spaghetti bolognaises arrive at this moment.

Which shuts up the two ladies.

The surf and turf''s coming, says the server.

She goes away and comes back with Gaius's dinner.

A steak with three prawns arranged on it.

This is not what I expected, says Gaius, when the server has left.

What did you expect? asks Margaret.

Perhaps a steak stuffed with crayfish, says Gaius.

Are you going to eat them? asks Terence.

Yes, says Gaius. I am.

Boo! says Terence. They could have been best friends with my prawn.

Gaius gobbles the prawns and then starts on his steak.

See that? says Terence. He ate your best friends.

But no, his prawn did not see. 

Terence watches the grownups eat their dinner.

How long will they take? 

Can I get down? asks Terence. 

What for? asks Gaius.

To look around, says Terence.

I suppose so, says Gaius.

Terence grabs his potato spun prawn and gets down from the table.

The potato spun prawn is still warm.

Terence walks across to the next table where two people are dining.

Hello, little boy, says the woman. 

Have you got a black pen? asks Terence.

I do, says the woman. I keep one in my handbag. Why? Do you need it?

Yes, says Terence. For two things.

What are they? asks the woman.

Eyes, says Terence.

He probably wants to draw eyes on his potato spun prawn, says the man.

What makes you think that, Gerald? asks the woman.

He's not eating it, says Gerald.

Is that why you want it? asks the woman.

No, says Terence. I mean yes, that's why I want it.

Your prawn's greasy, says the woman. It'll ruin my pen.

Only the outside is greasy, says Terence.

He's right, says Gerald. I believe it could be done cleanly.

Oh, all right, says the woman. Will you let Gerald do it?

Yay! says Terence, giving Gerald the prawn.

Gerald takes the pen from the woman, and inserts the tip into the top of the potato spun prawn.

He draws two beady eyes on the place where the prawn was beheaded.

Potato Spun Prawn

Six o'clock, in Narrandera..

Margaret pulls up at the Gateway Motor Inn.

They get out of the car and enter Reception.

Welcome! says the person in Reception. Do you have a booking?

Yes, says Margaret. For a triple.

I see there are four of you, says the person in Reception. Are you wanting an upgrade?

Are there three single beds? asks Gaius.

Yes, says Reception.

Then no, says Gaius. Three beds will suffice. This boy doesn't sleep.

Reception looks hard at the boy, who is Terence.

What does he do then? asks Reception.

I look out of the window, says Terence. 

Fine, says Reception, as long as you don't disturb the other guests.

If I'm bored I'll finish my frog, says Terence,

What's this about a frog? asks Reception.

It's an illustration, says Katherine. Would you happen to have a black pen we could borrow?

We no longer use pens in Reception, says Reception.

But surely you have your own personal pen, says Margaret.

It's a blue one, says Reception. So, sorry. Is there anything else I can help you with before I give you the door card?

Where can we get dinner? asks Katherine.

We have our own restaurant, the Lazy Lizard, very popular with the locals, says Reception. Shall I book you in?

Please do, says Katherine.

Reception books them in to the Lazy Lizard and gives Margaret the door card.

Room ten, says Reception.

They head off to Room ten.

Dump their things. 

And make their way to the Lazy Lizard, where they are shown to a table.

Margaret, Katherine and Gaius look at the menu.

Potato spun prawns, says Gaius. What can they be?

Can I have one? asks Terence.

No, says Katherine. Red drink only.

I won't eat it, says Terence.

All right, says Katherine. At least we'll see what it is.

As for me, says Margaret I'll have the spaghetti bolognaise.

Me too, says Katherine.

Gaius feels he should have something different. 

Surf and turf. What could that be?

Margaret goes up to the counter to order.

Returns with three beers and a red drink.

Am I getting a potato spun prawn? asks Terence.

Yes, says Margaret. 

Terence tries to imagine what it might be.

In Warty Blotches

The frog's eye isn't ruined, says Gaius. 

But I don't have a black, says Terence.

Use my pencil, says Gaius. And press hard. But not too hard or you'll go though the paper.

Just keep going over it and over it, says Katherine.

Terence takes Gaius's pencil.

He darkens the frog's eye.

He can still see the yellow line underneath it.

He does some more shading.

How does it look? asks Gaius.

Good, says Terence. See?

Gaius looks at the dark grey eye with a trace of yellow running through it.

That's better, says Gaius. 

Let me see, says Katherine.

Terence hands the frog illustration to Katherine in the front seat.

Hmm, says Katherine. What you really need is a black pen.

I knew it, says Terence. 

We'll get one in Narrandera, says Katherine.

The shops will be closed, says Margaret.

At the motel, says Katherine. They're bound to have one.

Yay! says Terence. Hear that Froggy? Your black eye is coming. 

Meanwhile you may as well colour the rest of its body, says Gaius.

I'll start on the blotches, says Terence.

He hands Gaius the lead pencil and takes a brown one from his box of coloureds.

Are the blotches supposed to be blotchy? asks Terence.

There's an intelligent question, says Katherine. Are they?

The upper blotches are generally smooth and shiny, says Gaius. The lower blotches are warty.

Woo! says Terence. Two kinds of blotches.

Do the warty ones first, says Katherine. 

Why? asks Terence.

It won't matter if Margaret hits a rock or another dead possum, says Katherine.

I'm doing my best, mutters Margaret.

I didn't mean that, says Katherine. But a few bumps won't affect warty blotches.

It might make them better, says Terence.

We'll see, says Margaret. Have you started?

Yes, says Terence. 

He is soon covering the lower parts of the green and golden bell frog in warty blotches.

All the time hoping Margaret will hit a dead possum.

And Margaret is hoping the same.

So Much For Black

Next stop Narrandera, says Margaret.

Mint? asks Katherine.

Yes please, says Margaret.

The smell of mints permeates to the back seat, where Gaius is annotating his notes with his pencil.

And Terence is colouring the green and golden bell frog.

He wants to get it right.

Which parts are green? asks Terence.

Those parts, says Gaius. And the blotches are brown or golden bronze.

I've only got two browns, says Terence.

But you have two yellows, says Gaius. You could add yellow to one of the browns, to produce a golden tint.

Okay, says Terence. 

And use the other yellow for the strip down its side, says Gaius.

Terence decides to do the strip first, with the other yellow.

Because it's narrow.

Can we drive slowly? asks Terence.

No, says Margaret. We have a schedule. Narrandera by six o'clock. So we're not going slower.

Okay, says Terence. Can you tell me when it's going to be smooth?

It is smooth, says Margaret. 

How long is it smooth for? asks Terence.

Hard to say, says Margaret. 

Are you colouring something small? asks Katherine.

Long and skinny, says Terence.

Why don't you leave it till last? says Katherine. 

She doesn't know much about colouring. You don't leave a long skinny thing until last.

Terence decides to go for it.

He lifts the other yellow pencil out of the box.

He begins to colour the strip from behind the eye of the green and golden bell frog to its lower body.

Carefully. 

Bump.

What was that? asks Katherine.

A rock, says Margaret. Or a  dead possum.

Or a RUIN! says Terence.

His yellow has gone over the line of the strip and into the frog's eye.

What colour are their eyes? asks Terence.

Black, says Gaius.

So much for that.

No Birds Do

It's not far to Hay.

Margaret is considering stopping.

Does anyone else need anything? asks Margaret.

Not me, says Katherine.

Nor I, says Gaius.

Me, says Terence.

But no one else, says Margaret. 

Actually, I could do with some mints, says Katherine.

Then we'll stop for two minutes, says Margaret.

She pulls up outside an IGA.

Come on Terence, says Katherine. We'll have to hurry.

She and Terence get out and go into the store.

Katherine finds her mints straight away, but Terence can't find the coloured pencils.

We'll ask the assistant, says Katherine.

Terence runs up to the checkout assistant.

Where are the coloured pencils? asks Terence.

Aisle four, says the assistant.

Come on, Terence, says Katherine.

You go, says Terence. I want to ask some more questions.

All right, says Katherine, heading off to aisle four.

What questions? asks the assistant.

Do parrots come here? asks Terence.

No, says the assistant.

What if they had money? asks Terence.

Parrots don't need money, says the assistant. No birds do.

What if they had ten dollars tucked into their feathers? asks Terence.

That wouldn't happen, says the assistant.

Katherine returns with the coloured pencils.

The assistant scans them through, with the mints.

Nine dollars eighty, says the assistant.

Katherine pays. 

She and Terence leave the store. 

Here you are, dear, says Katherine, handing him the box of coloured pencils.

Margaret has already started the engine.

They get into the car.

Terence looks out of the window.

It would be good if a parrot looked in.

He would open the window and tell it where to find coloured pencils. 

Aisle four. And it wouldn't need money. No birds do.

Open your box of pencils, says Gaius. Let's see the colours.

Terence tears the box open.

There are twelve coloured pencils: Two yellow, one orange, one red, one pink, one purple, two blues, two greens and two browns.

Perfect! says Gaius. Two greens, two browns and two yellows. 

What about the red? asks Terence.

Not required for a green and golden bell frog. says Gaius.

What if it's eating a berry? asks Terence.

They don't eat berries, says Gaius. 

I'm sure they'd eat something that's red, says Katherine. A red butterfly, or perhaps a redback spider?

Perhaps. 

What delicious ideas.

Money Tucked Into Feathers

I wish I had coloured pencils, says Terence.

Well, you haven't says Margaret. Make the best of it.

If I had a parrot, my parrot would find coloured pencils, says Terence.

Where from? asks Katherine.

Where they were, says Terence.

Nonsense, says Margaret. A parrot wouldn't know where to find coloured pencils.

Perhaps the next town, says Gaius.

The next town is Hay, says Margaret, and we won't be stopping.

My parrot would be stopping, says Terence.

Indeed, says Gaius. You could send him ahead to locate coloured pencils. He could obtain them and rejoin us in Hay.

Don't you start, says Margaret.

I was merely conjecturing, says Gaius.

How would the parrot obtain the coloured pencils? asks Margaret.

We could have given the parrot some money, says Katherine.

Hah! says Margaret. And how would the parrot have carried the money?

A ten dollar note tucked into its feathers, says Katherine.

Terence is entranced, 

His parrot would have money tucked into its feathers, and would buy coloured pencils in Hay.

The parrot would wait for them in Hay.

Margaret would slow down and open her window.

No, not her.

Katherine would open her window.

No not her either.

Terence would open the back seat window. And Saint Roley would fly in, and drop the coloured pencils in Terence's lap.

Why did you need these? Saint Roley would ask him

To colour the green and golden bell frog in Gaius's notes, Terence would say.

Take care when colouring while the car is moving, Saint Roley would say. 

I'm always careful, Terence would say.

Which is true, in a way.

Not Killing a Fly

We must get going, says Katherine. It's a three hour drive to Narrandera.

Would you like me to take over? asks Margaret.

That would be nice, says Katherine. Do you know where we're staying?

Gateway Motel, says Margaret. I've already booked it.

A motel? says Gaius. 

Yes, says Margaret. A triple room. I hope you don't mind.

What's a triple room? asks Terence.

A room for three people, says Margaret. It's cheaper than a room for a family.

They walk back to Katherine's car.

Gaius is hoping there are three single beds in a triple.

Terence is counting the people.

Gaius, Katherine, Margaret and him.

That's more than three people.

Hey, says Terence. What about me?

You're small, says Margaret. You can sleep on a couch, assuming there is one.

Terence doesn't sleep, says Katherine.

I stay up all night, says Terence.

Katherine hands Margaret the car keys,

She nudges Terence.

What? asks Terence.

Katherine mimes holding a pencil.

Are you killing a fly? asks Terence.

Katherine whispers something to Terence.

Remember the pencil! says Terence.

Yes! Thank you, Terence, says Gaius. 

Margaret opens the boot. 

Gaius locates his backpack and feels around in the bottom for a pencil.

Yes. He has found one.

They all climb into the car.

Margaret starts the engine.

Soon they're back on the A20.

What did you want the pencil for? asks Katherine.

To highlight my notes on the green and golden bell frog, says Gaius.

I should like to see those notes, when you're done, says Katherine.

Certainly, says Gaius. Are you thinking of joining us in our frog observations?

Once I've seen all there is to see in Canberra, says Katherine.

Can I see the notes? asks Terence.

You can have the first page, says Gaius. There's a detailed illustration.

He hands Terence the first page of his notes.

This frog's black and white! says Terence.

You must imagine the colours, says Gaius.

What are the colours? asks Terence.

You should know this, says Margaret.  

Yes you should, says Katherine. What's the name of this frog?

Froggy? says Terence.

Proper name, says Margaret. 

Common name, says Gaius.

You've confused him, says Katherine. It's the green and golden bell frog.

I knew that, says Terence. Someone should colour it in.

That would be a fine use of your time, says Gaius. I don't suppose either of you ladies has thought to bring coloured pencils?

No, admit both the ladies.

Bumho....begins Terence. But remembers he's not allowed to say it.

So what happens now?

Ninety Percent Of Our Brothers

Gaius checks his phone for messages. 

Wonderful! Arthur has replied, says Gaius.

Does he remember the words of the poem? asks Katherine.

Let's see, says Gaius.

Arthur has sent a series of messages.

First message: OK get back to you

Second message: Time out scraped knee.

Dear me, says Gaius: I hope he's put something on it.

Third message: Saint Roley the Good. The frog one?

Fourth message: Saint Roley The Good/ Did He Eat us? No! Although He Could/ We Who Lost Ninety Percent of Our Brothers/ Through Development Schemes/ He shared With Us His Last Mollusc/ And We Shared Our Dreams/ We Wish Him Safe Journey/ Saint Roley the Good/ He Did Not Eat Us/ Although He Could.

There you have it, says Gaius. I knew Arthur would remember.

Ask him about his knee, says Katherine.

I suppose I should, says Gaius. 

He types: Thank you, Arthur. How is your knee?

But receives no immediate reply.

That was a good poem, says Terence. The green and gold bell frogs should win.

Good as it is, their poem isn't in our competition, says Katherine.

True, says Margaret. And how do we know they actually wrote it?

They would have dictated it, says Gaius. 

I miss Saint Roley, says Terence.

Have you managed to get that straw though the hole in your Ribena? asks Gaius.

No, that's why I need a parrot, says Terence.

How would a parrot help? asks Margaret.

Beak, says Terence.

Don't you have a claw? asks Katherine.

Yes, he does. Terence had forgotten his claw.

He jabs it into the foil-covered hole at the top of his Ribena.

Ribena squirts everywhere. 

Some drops even land in the brown Murrumbidgee.

As The River Flows Silently By

They leave Katherine's car and walk down to the banks of the Murrumbidgee.

They sit on the grass, under trees.

Margaret unwraps the rest of the sandwiches.

Gaius takes a large bite of apple.

What do I get? asks Terence.

This, says Gaius. taking something out of his pocket.

A Ribena.

Yay! says Terence, ripping the straw off the side. 

Take care! says Gaius. The new straws are made out of paper.

Okay, says Terence.

He stops ripping and proceeds to be careful.

Guess what, says Terence. 

What? asks Katherine.

Margaret told me her poem, says Terence.

Did she? says Katherine. 

It was only the first half, says Margaret. In fact,Terence was helpful.

Terence pokes the paper straw through the hole in his Ribena.

Or tries too.

Was he? asks Gaius. How so?

He gave me his opinion on whether I should use the first person, says Margaret. 

Did I? says Terence.

I see or you see, says Margaret.

A dog or a cuttlefish, says Terence. But it wasn't that sort of poem.

Are you sure you won't have a sandwich, Gaius? asks Margaret.

I won't, thank you Margaret, says Gaius. 

May we hear your poem, Margaret? asks Katherine.

Oh...why not, says Margaret. 

Katherine closes her eyes and leans back against a giant redgum. 

The Murrumbidgee flows silently by.

Margaret coughs and begins:

I see before me a landscape/ of horizontal limestone beds/ and calcareo-siliceous deposits/ in ochres and yellows and reds/ but nothing of green/ although fossils marine may be seen.

Bravo, Margaret, says Katherine. I like fossils marine.

Quamquam fossils, says Terence.

I toyed with the idea of quamquam fossils, says Margaret. But it seemed out of context.

Unless three of our poems were put together, says Katherine. Excluding mine. 

Everyone tries to remember Katherine's poem.

Yes! It referred to the fact that they were waiting for a message from Arthur.

Reminding Gaius that he should check his phone.

Three Apples

I thought we were eating the rest of our sandwiches, says Margaret.

We are, says Katherine, but let's buy three takeaway coffees, then choose a nice spot by the river.

While you do that, says Gaius, I'll find a supermarket, and purchase an apple.

Three apples, says Margaret.

Very well, says Gaius. 

He goes off.

He forgot to look for his pencil, says Terence.

Remind him when he comes back, says Margaret.

Katherine goes into the café and orders three coffees.

Margaret waits outside with Terence.

Mind if I run my poem by you? asks Margaret.

Do I have to run too? asks Terence.

We won't be running, says Margaret.

Okay, says Terence.

I'm not sure about the beginning, says Margaret. 

Try A dog has died, says Terence. That's what I do.

A dog has died? says Margaret.

It's not a question, says Terence.

It was, says Margaret. Why has it died?

It could be a cuttlefish, says Terence.

My beginning is not like that, says Margaret. Will you listen?

I'm listening, says Terence.

You see before you a landscape/ of horizontal limestone beds, says Margaret.

Woo! says Terence.

Or should it be I see? says Margaret.

Icy? says Terence.

I see a landscape before me, says Margaret. See the difference?

Yes, says Terence. I see.

I see before me a landscape/ of horizontal limestone beds, says Margaret. Does that sound better?

Yes, says Terence. Then what?

And calcareo-silicious deposits/ in ochres, yellows and reds, says Margaret.

That's good rhyming, says Terence. 

Katherine comes out with the coffees.

And Gaius appears in the distance with three apples in a compostable bag.

Always A Quamquam

Not far now to Balranald.

Gaius is looking forward to buying something to eat which is not a tomato.

Terence is waiting for Margaret to come up with a poem.

Margaret is trying to do it.

She has encountered a problem.

Not many words rhyme with calcareo-siliceous.

Except for words that will remind Gaius of tomatoes.

Such as delicious. And nutritious.

And she's not going there.

Perhaps there's no need for a rhyme.

Or she could break the words up, to invent her own rhymes.

Is it ready yet? asks Terence.

Not yet, says Margaret. I could do with a pencil.

Couldn't we all, says Gaius. I really must remember to get mine out of the boot when we get to Balranald.

I'll remind you, says Terence.

Thank you, says Gaius.

No one else wrote their poem with a pencil, says Terence.

What are you saying? asks Margaret.

Except you, says Terence. So it's cheating.

Does anyone else think it's cheating? asks Margaret.

Not really, says Katherine.

Nor me, says Gaius. A poem is better written down. It helps one remember.

And fiddle about with the endings, says Margaret.

I see much thought is going into your poem, says Gaius.

Perhaps too much, says Margaret.

Quamquam, says Terence.

Quamquam what? asks Margaret.

Quamquam you don't have a pencil, says Terence.

As luck would have it, they have now reached the outskirts of Balranald.

And minutes later, the middle.

Katherine pulls up outside a café. 

Pencil, says Katherine.

I'm reminding him, says Terence.

Go on then, says Katherine. I was just reminding you.

Remember your pencil, says Terence.

Thank you, Terence, says Gaius. 

Will this be sufficient to ensure that Gaius looks for his pencil?

Travelling with Women

I've got it, says Margaret. Except for dicendum.

Dicendum?  says Katherine.

The meaning is somewhat ambiguous, says Margaret.

Perhaps it was meant to be , says Katherine.

Margaret looks at Gaius.

Was it? asks Margaret.

What says your google translation? asks Gaius.

Although I prefer my own company, says Margaret, there is something to be said for travelling with women.

How nice, says Katherine. What about that is ambiguous?

Something REQUIRING to be said, says Margaret. What is it?

It is not requiring to be said, says Gaius.

Then why say it? asks Margaret.

A poetic observation, says Gaius.

Is this about the tomato sandwiches? asks Margaret.

Not at all, says Gaius. I shall buy something for myself in Balranald. I assume there'll be shops.

They may be closed, says Margraet.

I hope not, says Gaius.

Who won the competition? asks Terence.

Let's vote on it, says Katherine. Who votes for Terence?

I haven't composed mine yet, says Margaret.

I thought you weren't going to, says Katherine.

Well, I am, says Margaret. I feel I should join in.

Let's see who votes for me so far, says Terence.

I do, says Katherine.

I do, says Gaius. 

So Terence is in the hot seat, says Katherine.

Yikes! says Terence.

Everyone laughs, even Margaret, because no one expects she will win.

Where The Verbs Are

When may we expect to arrive in Balranald? asks Gaius.

About four o'clock, says Katherine. Why?

I was just feeling peckish, says Gaius.

You should have had a sandwich in Pinnaroo, says Margret.

I would have, says Gaius, but for the toxic contents.

Tomatoes are perfectly safe to consume, says Margaret.

Yes, think of the Mediterranean diet, says Katherine.

Or a red potato smoothie says Terence. They're good.

I don't doubt that, says Gaius.

Does that mean yes, says Terence.

Does what mean yes? asks Gaius.

I don't doubt that, says Terence.

It means I'm sure of it, says Gaius.

How's your poem going, Gaius, asks Katherine.

Nearly done, says Gaius. I'm just placing the verbs.

At the end I suppose, says Margaret.

Conventional, but  probably best, says Gaius.

Is it about the geological features we're passing? asks Margaret.

Or frogs? asks Terence.

Not at all, says Gaius.

Let's hear it, says Katherine. It won't matter to us where the verbs are.

Very well, says Gaius.

He begins:

Quamquam praefero/ Societatem meam/ Aliquid dicendum est/ De peregrinatione/ Cum feminis.

Silence.

 I told you no one would get it, says Terence.

Perhaps just as well, says Gaius.

What's a quamquam? asks Terence.

It means although, says Gaius.

That's in my poem! says Terence. Terence the Good/ He did not eat the potato/ Quamquam he could.

That's so clever, Terence, says Katherine. Isn't it, Margaret?

But Margaret is busy on her phone, google-translating Gaius's poem.

It seems straightforward, except for dicendum.