Proposition One

Irma turned again to Wittgenstein.

If you're a philosopher, she said, you must have a philosophy. What is it, exactly?

It is laid out simply in my Tractatus, said Wittgenstein.

Eeuuw ! said Emma. What's your tractatus?

Now then, Emma! said Professor Freud. It is his famous philosophical publication the Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus. Your sister was asking a serious question. Listen to the answer.

I have answered, said Wittgenstein.

No you haven't, said Irma. What does it say, the Tractatus?

Wittgenstein sighed.

It says: Proposition One: The world is all that is the case.

Most profound, said Professor Freud. What do you think, girls?

It's not, said Irma. Because it's obvious. What's Proposition Two?

Never mind that yet, said Wittgenstein. It generally takes people longer to understand Proposition One.

Well, I understand it, said Irma.

So do I, said Emma.

I don't, said Saint Nicholas. What about miracles?

Wittgenstein looked pained.

If a miracle can be shown to be a fact, then it is part of the logical world. But once it becomes a fact, it is no longer truly a miracle.

Steady on! cried Saint Nicholas. That isn't right! What about.....?

Are you a philosopher too? interrupted Emma.

No, said Saint Nicholas. I'm a saint. I thought you knew who I was.

You're a fat man who is really bad at Paintball, said Irma.

Well, thank you, said Saint Nicholas. Thank you very much. At least I joined in.

You did, said Professor Freud. And you will do better next time.

That might require a miracle, said Saint Nicholas.