The Potted Gymnosophist

I was out the front cleaning the car yesterday afternoon.

First I needed a bowl of water from the tap in the corner. I was bending down filling the bowl when a car pulled up. An old couple got out. They must have had a doctor's appointment.

What a lovely Gymnosophist you have in that pot, said the old woman. It looks so pretty with the pink and white flowers. She was talking to me.

Yes it is, I replied. But it wouldn't thank you for saying so. It doesn't hold with luxury, or compliments. I didn't look up. I didn't want to spill any water.

I poured some Wash 'n Wax into the bowl and began to wash the car with the giant yellow
sponge. There were big brown blobby bird droppings all over the bonnet. They broke up in the frothy water and drizzled down onto the front bumper.

This isn't how to wash a car, I thought. Why is it that sometimes I know how to do it, and sometimes I don't?

O Gymnosophist! I addressed the potted Gymnosophist under the window. Tell me, what is the proper order of things in the washing of a car?

Are you talking to me? said the Geranium. I'm a GERANIUM! But if you want my opinion I think you should scrape the shit off first.