Alexander and the Geranium

It was obvious the Geranium knew very little about cars.

You don't know much about cars, I said. If you scraped off the bird shit you'd damage the paint.

What do I care? said the Geranium. I am not one for luxury. But I can understand why you don't like bird shit. I don't much like it myself.

Are you a Gymnosopher or not? I asked. You don't care for luxury, yet you don't like birdshit.

I'm a bit of a Gymnosopher, I suppose, said the Geranium. I stand on one foot, I stare at the sun, I don't spit. But I also like a little water now and then.

How reasonable, I said.

I like to think I'm reasonable, said the Geranium. By the way, have you read any Plutarch?

Not lately.

Then you may not know the famous passage in which Alexander the Great asks ten questions of ten Gymnosophists.

I don't. Why does he do it?

He's heard they are wise. He also wants to kill them because they have aided his enemies. So he says he will put to death the first one who gives him an incorrect answer.

Brilliant! What's the first question?

Which are more numerous, the living or the dead? said the Geranium. It's a tricky one. Do you want to know the answer?

No, I said, let me think about it for a minute.