Totally Wrecked It

You've totally wrecked it, says Ying.

Had to answer the phone, says Sweezus.

And how does that look? says Ying. Saint Sebastian sits up and says that he's making a movie.

Post modern, says Arthur.

Who was that calling? asks Ying.

Belle, says Sweezus. She's kind of like my good conscience.

How lovely for you, says Ying. What did she want?

Nothing exactly, says Sweezus. But I might just call Gaius.

Don't, says Arthur.

But Sweezus has already started.

Beep beep, goes Gaius's nerdy ring tone.

Hello? says Gaius. Hello? Yes, we're on our way to Las Palmas. I recommend that you join us. It would be much more convenient.

Yeah, says Sweezus. S'pose we should. What's it like there?

We're not there yet, says Gaius. But there will be cracks and dark places.

Terence won't like it, says Sweezus.

Ah, says Gaius. Terence is not with us.

Fuck, says Sweezus. I knew we should've done a proper handover.

What's happened? says Ying.

Terence is missing, says Sweezus.

No, he's not missing says Gaius. He's gone to rescue a parrot from Parque Loro. Fear not. He's with a sensible girl and her sister.

Oh sure, fear not, says Sweezus. Okay. When are you going to meet up again?

That wasn't discussed, says Gaius. We were in a hurry. But he'll be safe at the girls' house. Is Arthur there?

Yeah, says Sweezus. Putting him on.

Gaius? says Arthur. Yes. Yes. No. Yes, heaps of postcards. You'll like them. Saint Sebastian bleeding. Why not? YOU'VE got the spider. Sweezus wants to say something...

Yep, says Sweezus. Reckon you'll be done by the fourteenth of January? Vello and David are short one man for the Tour.

Mercury's Mudguards! cries Gaius. I had forgotten. Yes, We must get our skates on.

What's this? asks Kong, looking up from his poem. Skates on?

Yes, says Gaius. We do after all have an end point.

Good, says Kong.

The ferry docks at Las Palmas.

Gaius and Kong are first off.

That got him going, says Sweezus. But I feel bad about Terence. He's gone to Parque Loro with two girls. Only one of them's sensible.

Not enough, says Arthur.

We could go there, says Ying. Let's get a taxi.

Okay, says Sweezus, standing up, revealing sand-encrusted lines of dried blood from his chest to the top of his boardies.

You need a good wash first, says Ying. Go back in the water.

Arthur ditches the sea urchin spines.

Then he picks up a few of the best ones. You never know when sharp things will be useful.

Ying calls a taxi.

The locals disperse. Show's over.