The Work Life Balance Of A Pirate

Deep Water Harbour.

Ageless points out the Revenge.

It is smaller than Gaius had expected.

Welcome aboard, says Stede Bonnet, saluting from the top of the gangplank.

Stede is a lobster. That too is unexpected.

They all troop on board.

Ageless introduces them.

Gaius and Griffith, the naturalists.

Pleased to meet you.

Terence.

Ah! Cutlass shorts! A ship's boy.

Nose.

Wearing pirate pantaloons! Are you a female?

Nose nods. Why should he want to know?

Kobo, my beloved.

Madam! A privilege.

Introductions over, Stede gives an order. The Revenge sets sail.

We shall sail up the West Coast to Holetown, says Stede. Meanwhile perhaps you would care to sit in these deck chairs.

He indicates a row of deck chairs, in the sun.

They sit on the deck chairs. Stede gazes over the railing.

I believe you were once a pirate, says Griff.

I was, says Stede. And before that I was a retired British Army Major. I owned a sugar plantation. I had a wife and family...

And you turned to piracy, says Gaius. I find it surprising.

Call it a midlife crisis, says Stede. I had this vessel built. Paid for it myself. Got a crew together, paid them wages.

Your poor wife, says Kobo. Your poor children. What did they do?

Hah! says Stede. Naggers all. Rather you should ask what did I do!

What did you do? asks Nose.

A life of piracy, says Stede, involves capturing vessels, burning ships and generally keeping friendly with other pirates. I was friendly with Edward Teach. Blackbeard to you. He taught me all I know about sailing.

Crunch! The Revenge hits a snag in the harbour. Rolls and lists to one side.

Never fear, says Stede Bonnet. Ship's boy, climb up to the yard arm and see what we bumped into.

Me? says Terence.

You, says Stede Bonnet.

All of a sudden he looks menacing.

Yes, his wife was probably glad that he took himself off, leaving her with the children, the fortune and the valuable sugar plantation.

NO, says Terence.

But Stede is a pirate king (ex).

He won't take NO from a ship's boy.

He makes towards Terence.

I'll do it, says Nose.

She scampers up to the yard arm.

It's so pretty up there.

She can see a colourful building in the distance. A pink one. And a statue of Nelson.

She turns. The sparkling blue waters. A turtle. A sea snake.

Just as, below, something dreadful is happening to Terence.

Before anyone can stop him, Stede has pushed Terence over the side.

That, for disobedience! roars Stede Bonnet.

Blub-blub. Terence drops like a stone.

Nose watches him grow smaller and smaller.

The sea snake and the turtle part company.

Nothing to see here.

She climbs down.