Suspect Uncle

Nose has returned to the shorts shop without any money.

There! says the woman in the shorts shop. We knew you'd come back.

Did we? thinks Kobo.

I couldn't get twenty dollars, says Nose.

She starts taking the cutlass shorts off.

Wait honey! says the woman. Don't do it in public. There's a man staring in through the window.

Griff can see Nose inside the shorts shop. And Kobo, sitting next to the till.

He enters the shorts shop. Albeit he doesn't like shorts.

Not the short shorts that young women wear these days, with ragged holes and the pocket lining showing.

Ho, man, says the woman. Can I help you? Looking for shorts?

No, says Griff. I'm here to retrieve my property.

Property? says the woman. And what might that be?

This bandicoot, says Griff grabbing Nose by the back of the cutlass shorts.

And this fossilised clam, (grabbing Kobo).

You girls need any help? asks the woman. You know this person?

Yes, says Nose. He's my uncle. He's going to pay you the money.

What money? asks Griff. Is there a ransom?

For the cutlass shorts, man, says the woman. And these pantaloons, while you've got your pockets open.

She waves the pirate pantaloons in his face.

This is the first Nose has seen of the pirate pantaloons. They are perfect. Drawstring waist. Red and white stripes. She falls in love with them.

O please! says Nose. Please, uncle!

Griff is a church man, not an uncle. His first instinct is just to say NO!

But the Lord had delivered him a message, for Barbados.

GO FOR IT!

All right. How much do I owe you? asks Griff.

Twenty Bajan dollars for the cutlass shorts. Five for the alteration. And another five for the pirate pantaloons, says the woman.

She drives a hard bargain. Especially as there has been no alteration.

But no one is saying.

And she is broad in the beam.

Griff likes this type of woman.

So Griff opens his wallet and coughs up the money.

Thanks, uncle, says the woman, winking. She suspects he is nobody's uncle.

They leave.

.......

Waves Resort Hotel.

Gaius is by the pool, with Ageless and Terence.

Nose appears first, in the cutlass shorts.

She's got new SHORTS! says Terence.

You can have these, says Nose. I've got better ones.

Griff appears, red faced and panting, with Kobo in one hand, ( ew, she hates it!) and the pirate pantaloons in the other.

He puts Kobo down.

Beloved, says Ageless. How would you like to go sailing?

Sailing? If only she'd known. She has just spent half the morning in a shorts shop, and come home empty handed.

Nose is struggling out of the cutlass shorts, and into the pirate pantaloons. Griff is doing up the drawstring.

Terence is wriggling into the cutlass shorts. Yay ! They're just perfect. He dances.

Griff doesn't know what the alteration involved.

(Nothing).

But the unholy infant is dancing. He has done a good thing. He thanks the Lord for the outcome.