Welcome, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. You must be Gaius Plinius Secundus.
I am, says Gaius. Forgive me for turning up early. I see Terence is already here.
Guess what? says Terence. I've got a new parrot.
Gaius looks at the electronic parrot. Supposed to be a whizz at mathematics. He will test it.
What is twice times seven? asks Gaius.
Cherry is silent.
An expression, says Terence.
Pedro Vicente Maldonado frowns.
Pescado comes to the rescue.
Fourteen, says Pescado.
Well done, says Gaius. Clever boy.
Saint Roley whispers something to Gaius.
The gist is that the Maldonados are mathematically gifted, and his praise was insensitive.
I see, says Gaius. Point taken. But I asked the parrot, and it failed to answer.
True, whispers Saint Roley. It has not to my knowledge shown any mathematical ability.
What a blunder, says Gaius.
To Pedro Vicente Maldonado he says:
I came early for two reasons. One, to alert you to the fact that I don't eat tomatoes.
That can be accommodated, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. I shall call the caterers.
He makes a quick phone call.
Done, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. The dressing shall be optional for the encebollado. The baked cuy is not served with tomatoes. And the t'anta wawa is a sweet, and as such...
Sorry to be such a nuisance, says Gaius. The second thing is .....I had hoped to see Arthur.
He's at the station, says Terence.
Ah yes, the Devil's Nose, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. That's where they were going.
That surprises me, says Gaius. I hope Arthur has booked a hotel.
Arthur hasn't.
Arthur is currently wedged against a snapped sapling on an almost perpendicular slope below a curve of the Devil's Nose train track.
You can always stay here, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
You're too kind, says Gaius.
Too kind. Another useful expression? Like twice times seven.
Twice times seven, says Cherry.
Forty! says Terence.
....een, says Pescado.
Forty-een, says Terence.
Bravo! says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. Terence followed your instruction. You were not exact, Pescado.
Mariposa laughs at her brother.
Cherry decides twice times seven is an excellent expression.
Monday, April 30, 2018
Sunday, April 29, 2018
I Am My Own Bird
There is a soft knock on the door.
It's Saint Roley.
Mariposa opens.
I saw you and your family return, says Saint Roley. And there was also a parrot.
Yes, says Mariposa. Come in. It's a very smart parrot. It learns mathematics.
That is remarkable, says Saint Roley.
Perhaps Terence will no longer need you, says Mariposa. You'll be set free.
I don't belong to Terence, says Saint Roley. I am my own bird.
Mariposa leads him into the grand salon.
Terence, here is your bird, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
He is his own bird, says Mariposa.
I am, says Saint Roley, and as such I have a bone to pick with Terence.
Is that an expression? asks Cherry.
(See how quickly electronic parrots pick things up).
Yes, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
Saint Roley takes Terence aside.
The pigeon died, says Saint Roley. I stayed with it until the end.
That was good manners, says Terence. What pigeon?
The one you fell on, says Saint Roley.
Did it say that? asks Terence.
It didn't need to, says Saint Roley. I saw you.
Did it say anything? asks Terence.
Carrot, says Saint Roley.
Lucky the others aren't listening. They might have laughed. Not realising the pathos.
Pedro Vicente Maldonado is further explaining the search for largest prime number.
It is called the GIMPS, says Pedro Vicente Madonado.
GIMPS, says Cherry. Is that....?
It's an acronym, says Pescado.
Correct, well done son, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
Another knock at the door.
Mariposa opens.
It's Gaius.
I hope I'm not too early, says Gaius.
Are you the caterer? asks Mariposa.
Jumping Jupiter! says Gaius. You're having a caterer?
We're having some science people for dinner, says Mariposa. The little cement one is already here. We like him. He has been given an electronic parrot by my father. The parrot learns mathematics, expressions and acronyms. It's very smart.
So Terence is here, says Gaius. And he has a new parrot. That is good news. What about Arthur?
Is Arthur a black and white shorebird? asks Mariposa.
No, that will be Saint Roley. And I am Gaius Plinius Secundus, one of your guests.
Come in then, says Mariposa.
I have met your grandmother, says Gaius. She told me you and your brother keep frogs.
O yes! says Mariposa. Would you like to see them? They're going to have babies.
I would indeed, says Gaius. At what stage are the babies?
Out of the cloaca and into the pouch, says Mariposa. Not yet tadpoles.
Fascinating, says Gaius. I see you are an expert. But perhaps I should see your father first.
Okay, says Mariposa.
She thinks Gaius is nice.
It's Saint Roley.
Mariposa opens.
I saw you and your family return, says Saint Roley. And there was also a parrot.
Yes, says Mariposa. Come in. It's a very smart parrot. It learns mathematics.
That is remarkable, says Saint Roley.
Perhaps Terence will no longer need you, says Mariposa. You'll be set free.
I don't belong to Terence, says Saint Roley. I am my own bird.
Mariposa leads him into the grand salon.
Terence, here is your bird, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
He is his own bird, says Mariposa.
I am, says Saint Roley, and as such I have a bone to pick with Terence.
Is that an expression? asks Cherry.
(See how quickly electronic parrots pick things up).
Yes, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
Saint Roley takes Terence aside.
The pigeon died, says Saint Roley. I stayed with it until the end.
That was good manners, says Terence. What pigeon?
The one you fell on, says Saint Roley.
Did it say that? asks Terence.
It didn't need to, says Saint Roley. I saw you.
Did it say anything? asks Terence.
Carrot, says Saint Roley.
Lucky the others aren't listening. They might have laughed. Not realising the pathos.
Pedro Vicente Maldonado is further explaining the search for largest prime number.
It is called the GIMPS, says Pedro Vicente Madonado.
GIMPS, says Cherry. Is that....?
It's an acronym, says Pescado.
Correct, well done son, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
Another knock at the door.
Mariposa opens.
It's Gaius.
I hope I'm not too early, says Gaius.
Are you the caterer? asks Mariposa.
Jumping Jupiter! says Gaius. You're having a caterer?
We're having some science people for dinner, says Mariposa. The little cement one is already here. We like him. He has been given an electronic parrot by my father. The parrot learns mathematics, expressions and acronyms. It's very smart.
So Terence is here, says Gaius. And he has a new parrot. That is good news. What about Arthur?
Is Arthur a black and white shorebird? asks Mariposa.
No, that will be Saint Roley. And I am Gaius Plinius Secundus, one of your guests.
Come in then, says Mariposa.
I have met your grandmother, says Gaius. She told me you and your brother keep frogs.
O yes! says Mariposa. Would you like to see them? They're going to have babies.
I would indeed, says Gaius. At what stage are the babies?
Out of the cloaca and into the pouch, says Mariposa. Not yet tadpoles.
Fascinating, says Gaius. I see you are an expert. But perhaps I should see your father first.
Okay, says Mariposa.
She thinks Gaius is nice.
Saturday, April 28, 2018
Always Save Me
Outside, on the roof of the train.
Not much to hang onto, says Sweezus.
No, agrees Arthur.
It's okay for Arthur, who leads a charmed life, but what about Sweezus?
He has not thought it through.
The train starts its long descent from the high altitude station.
Inside the train, Lotte and Inge examine their Sea Salt.
Lotte's has formed into lumps.
Katastrophe! says Lotte. I should not have made use of that tissue.
Was it a wet one? asks Inge.
I thought it was dry, says Lotte. And the point of the exercise was recycling, as I understood it.
You can uncrumble the lumps, says Inge. It will be good as new.
She leans over to help Lotte uncrumble the Sea Salt.
And sees something out of the window.
At first it's a foot in holey sneakers.
Then it is two.
.......
In the grand house of Pedro Vicente Maldonado, a cushion is found for the parrot.
Many thanks, says the electronic parrot.
It has excellent manners, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
I desire to learn mathematics, says the electronic parrot.
Not yet, says Terence. First you have to learn all my RULES.
What are your rules? asks Mariposa.
I bet I know, says Pescado.
Children! says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. Let Terence spell out the rules to his parrot.
I'm not SPELLING, says Terence. I'm saying.
It's an expression, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
I wish to learn all expressions, says the electronic parrot.
It's so SMART, says Mariposa.
It isn't, says Terence. It doesn't know anything. My first rule is, your name is Cherry.
That's not a rule, says the electronic parrot. Why is it Cherry?
Because that was already decided, says Terence.
By whom? asks the electronic parrot.
This parrot is also good at grammar, observes Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
He wonders if he might take possession of the marvellous parrot. Teach it mathematics. Pity to waste such a promising intellect on Terence, who will call it Cherry.
How does this interest you, Cherry? asks Pedro Vicente Maldonado. The largest known prime number.
Dad! says Mariposa.
I know! I know! says Pescado.
Shut UP! says Mariposa. It's Terence's parrot. What's the next rule?
Always save me, says Terence.
What from? asks the electronic parrot.
Anything, says Terence. Unless I want it to happen.
Easy done, says the parrot. Just make sure I know if you want it to happen. In that case I will not try to save you.
That's silly, says Mariposa. What if it's too late?
A good question, and everyone knows it.
Use your own judgement, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
And what is the largest known prime number? asks Cherry.
It has only recently been identified, and has over 23 million digits, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. It is known as M77232917 for short, because 77232917 twos were multiplied to get it.
And one digit subtracted, says Pescado.
Correct, my son, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
Show-off, says Mariposa.
Not much to hang onto, says Sweezus.
No, agrees Arthur.
It's okay for Arthur, who leads a charmed life, but what about Sweezus?
He has not thought it through.
The train starts its long descent from the high altitude station.
Inside the train, Lotte and Inge examine their Sea Salt.
Lotte's has formed into lumps.
Katastrophe! says Lotte. I should not have made use of that tissue.
Was it a wet one? asks Inge.
I thought it was dry, says Lotte. And the point of the exercise was recycling, as I understood it.
You can uncrumble the lumps, says Inge. It will be good as new.
She leans over to help Lotte uncrumble the Sea Salt.
And sees something out of the window.
At first it's a foot in holey sneakers.
Then it is two.
.......
In the grand house of Pedro Vicente Maldonado, a cushion is found for the parrot.
Many thanks, says the electronic parrot.
It has excellent manners, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
I desire to learn mathematics, says the electronic parrot.
Not yet, says Terence. First you have to learn all my RULES.
What are your rules? asks Mariposa.
I bet I know, says Pescado.
Children! says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. Let Terence spell out the rules to his parrot.
I'm not SPELLING, says Terence. I'm saying.
It's an expression, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
I wish to learn all expressions, says the electronic parrot.
It's so SMART, says Mariposa.
It isn't, says Terence. It doesn't know anything. My first rule is, your name is Cherry.
That's not a rule, says the electronic parrot. Why is it Cherry?
Because that was already decided, says Terence.
By whom? asks the electronic parrot.
This parrot is also good at grammar, observes Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
He wonders if he might take possession of the marvellous parrot. Teach it mathematics. Pity to waste such a promising intellect on Terence, who will call it Cherry.
How does this interest you, Cherry? asks Pedro Vicente Maldonado. The largest known prime number.
Dad! says Mariposa.
I know! I know! says Pescado.
Shut UP! says Mariposa. It's Terence's parrot. What's the next rule?
Always save me, says Terence.
What from? asks the electronic parrot.
Anything, says Terence. Unless I want it to happen.
Easy done, says the parrot. Just make sure I know if you want it to happen. In that case I will not try to save you.
That's silly, says Mariposa. What if it's too late?
A good question, and everyone knows it.
Use your own judgement, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
And what is the largest known prime number? asks Cherry.
It has only recently been identified, and has over 23 million digits, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. It is known as M77232917 for short, because 77232917 twos were multiplied to get it.
And one digit subtracted, says Pescado.
Correct, my son, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
Show-off, says Mariposa.
Friday, April 27, 2018
Up The Devil's Nose
Sweezus meanwhile has made his way to the station.
About time, says Arthur. Let's get on the train.
The other passengers are middle aged women, in holiday attire, and one or two middle aged men with bulging bumbags.
Shit, says Sweezus. What are we in for?
I know it looks bad, says Arthur. But trust me.
They get on the train.
Toot toot!
The Devil's Nose or Nariz del Diablo is the mountain up which they now go.
The sides of the Nariz are almost perpendicular. The track zigzags, up steep nasal ascents.
The middle aged women take photos.
They used to let passengers ride on the roof, says a woman.
Scheise! says her companion. But there are no railings!
Not necessary these days, Lotte, says the woman. Rooftop riding is banned.
I imagine the young people would have been disappointed, says Lotte.
Lotte taps Sweezus on the shoulder.
He turns around.
How would you have liked to ride on the roof of the train? asks Lotte.
Yeah, says Sweezus. I'm visualising it now.
You look familiar, says Lotte. I know. The Sea Salt!
That's us, says Sweezus. This is Arthur. He came up with the idea.
Arthur briefly stops plotting how to get up on the roof with impunity.
Inge and I would love to buy some of your Sea Salt, says Lotte.
Okay, says Arthur. Seventy dollars. Have you got your own packaging?
Lotte rummages in her embroidered shoulder bag.
How about this? says Lotte.
She smoothes out a crumpled up tissue.
Sweezus is grateful that Arthur is doling out the Sea Salt. Yuck, an old woman's crumpled up tissue. Full of dried snot or worse....
Arthur doesn't care. He doles out a few grains of Sea Salt. The train jolts. Jolt! And a few more grains of Sea Salt are spilled on his board shorts.
He brushes them off. They fall to the floor of the train in the shape of an exclamation mark.
Whose future is this?
We shall see.
.........
The train stops at a station. Puruhás dressed in ethnic costumes dance on the platform. Hats and bright red skirts. That sort of thing.
Here the passengers learn a snippet or two of the Puruhá traditions and world view.
It's a harsh life. They grow crops and raise guinea pigs.
Lotte and Inge join in the dancing.
What a lovely meeting of cultures.
Toot toot. Time to get back on the train.
Lotte and Inge sit in the same seats that they had before.
But Arthur and Sweezus are perched somewhere different.
About time, says Arthur. Let's get on the train.
The other passengers are middle aged women, in holiday attire, and one or two middle aged men with bulging bumbags.
Shit, says Sweezus. What are we in for?
I know it looks bad, says Arthur. But trust me.
They get on the train.
Toot toot!
The Devil's Nose or Nariz del Diablo is the mountain up which they now go.
The sides of the Nariz are almost perpendicular. The track zigzags, up steep nasal ascents.
The middle aged women take photos.
They used to let passengers ride on the roof, says a woman.
Scheise! says her companion. But there are no railings!
Not necessary these days, Lotte, says the woman. Rooftop riding is banned.
I imagine the young people would have been disappointed, says Lotte.
Lotte taps Sweezus on the shoulder.
He turns around.
How would you have liked to ride on the roof of the train? asks Lotte.
Yeah, says Sweezus. I'm visualising it now.
You look familiar, says Lotte. I know. The Sea Salt!
That's us, says Sweezus. This is Arthur. He came up with the idea.
Arthur briefly stops plotting how to get up on the roof with impunity.
Inge and I would love to buy some of your Sea Salt, says Lotte.
Okay, says Arthur. Seventy dollars. Have you got your own packaging?
Lotte rummages in her embroidered shoulder bag.
How about this? says Lotte.
She smoothes out a crumpled up tissue.
Sweezus is grateful that Arthur is doling out the Sea Salt. Yuck, an old woman's crumpled up tissue. Full of dried snot or worse....
Arthur doesn't care. He doles out a few grains of Sea Salt. The train jolts. Jolt! And a few more grains of Sea Salt are spilled on his board shorts.
He brushes them off. They fall to the floor of the train in the shape of an exclamation mark.
Whose future is this?
We shall see.
.........
The train stops at a station. Puruhás dressed in ethnic costumes dance on the platform. Hats and bright red skirts. That sort of thing.
Here the passengers learn a snippet or two of the Puruhá traditions and world view.
It's a harsh life. They grow crops and raise guinea pigs.
Lotte and Inge join in the dancing.
What a lovely meeting of cultures.
Toot toot. Time to get back on the train.
Lotte and Inge sit in the same seats that they had before.
But Arthur and Sweezus are perched somewhere different.
Thursday, April 26, 2018
Maths Of The Electronic Parrot
El Paseo Shopping Mall.
The children of Pedro Vicente Maldonado wait at a designated café.
Where is daddy?
Here he comes now. But who is the niño?
Pedro Vicente Maldonado pushes forward the niño.
This is Terence. He is coming to our house for dinner tonight. But he wishes a parrot.
The children stare.
Hello, says Terence.
He looks like baby Jesus, says Mariposa.
No he doesn't, says Pescado. He wears dirty shorts.
And stiff curls on his head, says Mariposa.
And a claw for a finger, says Pescado.
Such ill manners will not be rewarded, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. No ice creams. We go straight to the shopping.
He stands up and strides towards Paseo Ec. and starts looking for trousers.
May I help you? asks an assistant.
Yes, I'm off to Hawaii. What trousers would you recommend?
I recommend shorts, sir.
He points him at shorts.
The children look at Terence.
I used to live in a palace, says Terence.
We live in a palace, says Mariposa.
So much for the palace.
It's big house really, says Pescado.
A pink one, says Mariposa. Why do you want a parrot?
They look after you, says Terence. Except for that time I had a balloon one.
There's a toy shop over there, says Mariposa.
I don't want a toy one, says Terence.
What if it was electronic? asks Pescado.
That would be good, says Terence.
They go to the toy shop.
Pedro Vicente Maldonado is trying on shorts behind a blue curtain.
How are we doing? asks the assistant.
What do you think? asks Pedro Vicente Maldonado, coming out in red cargo shorts.
Very nice, says the assistant. They will be a lot cooler than your red velvet trousers. And you can put things in the pockets.
I see, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. Children! What do you...? Ay! Where are my children?
Over at the toy shop, says the sales assistant. Will you take these?
I'll be back, cries Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
He runs to the toy shop.
Mariposa, Pescado and Terence are at the counter, haggling over an electronic parrot.
Fifty, says Mariposa. That's all we've got.
What's this? says their daddy.
The electronic parrot is out of their price range, says the saleswoman.
Not necessarily, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. Our young guest here wishes a parrot. An electronic one would be highly suitable.
The electronic parrot looks pleased.
I don't eat or defecate, says the electronic parrot. And I learn quickly.
Let's see, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. What is the square root of pi?
Yes, says the electronic parrot.
Yes what? asks Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
I could learn that, says the electronic parrot. What's the answer?
1.77245385, says Pescado.
Well done, my boy, says his daddy. But the parrot is decidedly precious.
I LOVE the parrot! says Mariposa. So does Terence.
I do, says Terence.
All right, put it on my account, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
And you are? says the saleswoman.
Pedro Vicente Maldonado, says Pedro Vincente Maldonado, astonished.
Ay! Forgive me! says the saleswoman. I did not know you in shorts.
Cielo! cries Pedro Vicente Maldonado. The shorts! Wrap up the parrot. I must hurry back to Paseo Ec. and change into my red velvet trousers!
The children of Pedro Vicente Maldonado wait at a designated café.
Where is daddy?
Here he comes now. But who is the niño?
Pedro Vicente Maldonado pushes forward the niño.
This is Terence. He is coming to our house for dinner tonight. But he wishes a parrot.
The children stare.
Hello, says Terence.
He looks like baby Jesus, says Mariposa.
No he doesn't, says Pescado. He wears dirty shorts.
And stiff curls on his head, says Mariposa.
And a claw for a finger, says Pescado.
Such ill manners will not be rewarded, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. No ice creams. We go straight to the shopping.
He stands up and strides towards Paseo Ec. and starts looking for trousers.
May I help you? asks an assistant.
Yes, I'm off to Hawaii. What trousers would you recommend?
I recommend shorts, sir.
He points him at shorts.
The children look at Terence.
I used to live in a palace, says Terence.
We live in a palace, says Mariposa.
So much for the palace.
It's big house really, says Pescado.
A pink one, says Mariposa. Why do you want a parrot?
They look after you, says Terence. Except for that time I had a balloon one.
There's a toy shop over there, says Mariposa.
I don't want a toy one, says Terence.
What if it was electronic? asks Pescado.
That would be good, says Terence.
They go to the toy shop.
Pedro Vicente Maldonado is trying on shorts behind a blue curtain.
How are we doing? asks the assistant.
What do you think? asks Pedro Vicente Maldonado, coming out in red cargo shorts.
Very nice, says the assistant. They will be a lot cooler than your red velvet trousers. And you can put things in the pockets.
I see, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. Children! What do you...? Ay! Where are my children?
Over at the toy shop, says the sales assistant. Will you take these?
I'll be back, cries Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
He runs to the toy shop.
Mariposa, Pescado and Terence are at the counter, haggling over an electronic parrot.
Fifty, says Mariposa. That's all we've got.
What's this? says their daddy.
The electronic parrot is out of their price range, says the saleswoman.
Not necessarily, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. Our young guest here wishes a parrot. An electronic one would be highly suitable.
The electronic parrot looks pleased.
I don't eat or defecate, says the electronic parrot. And I learn quickly.
Let's see, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. What is the square root of pi?
Yes, says the electronic parrot.
Yes what? asks Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
I could learn that, says the electronic parrot. What's the answer?
1.77245385, says Pescado.
Well done, my boy, says his daddy. But the parrot is decidedly precious.
I LOVE the parrot! says Mariposa. So does Terence.
I do, says Terence.
All right, put it on my account, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
And you are? says the saleswoman.
Pedro Vicente Maldonado, says Pedro Vincente Maldonado, astonished.
Ay! Forgive me! says the saleswoman. I did not know you in shorts.
Cielo! cries Pedro Vicente Maldonado. The shorts! Wrap up the parrot. I must hurry back to Paseo Ec. and change into my red velvet trousers!
Wednesday, April 25, 2018
Mind Off
I'm not long for this world, says the pigeon.
Tell me about it, says Saint Roley. In poetry, if you like.
The pigeon has never considered this option.
Is he made of cement? asks the pigeon.
Terence? Yes, says Saint Roley.
That explains it, says the pigeon. Help me out of this fountain.
Saint Roley helps the crushed pigeon from the blood red water.
Flat on his back on the pavement, the crushed pigeon turns up his toes.
He asked me.... if I knew a parrot, whispers the pigeon.
And did you? asks Saint Roley. Or was that the first line of your poem? Not much rhymes with parrot.
Carrot, says the pigeon.
His broken wing flutters.
Saint Roley nods sagely.
My brother drowned, says Saint Roley. And I was not with him.
Lucky you, says the pigeon.
Not my point, says Saint Roley. If you are dying, I'll stay with you until it's over.
If it will make you feel better, says the pigeon.
It's supposed to make you feel better, says Saint Roley. Dying is good news and bad news.
Ca-cha! Well, that does surprise me, coughs the pigeon.
It surprised me, says Saint Roley. Anyway what about the parrot?
H-u-u-u-h!. The pigeon expires.
I hope that helped, says Saint Roley.
Another pigeon stops by.
I couldn't help overhearing, says the pigeon. Are you a poet?
Not really, says Saint Roley.
Only I heard you rhyme parrot with carrot.
That was him, says Saint Roley. I dared not suggest it myself.
Still, it took his mind off the end, says the pigeon.
It did, says Saint Roley
Tell me about it, says Saint Roley. In poetry, if you like.
The pigeon has never considered this option.
Is he made of cement? asks the pigeon.
Terence? Yes, says Saint Roley.
That explains it, says the pigeon. Help me out of this fountain.
Saint Roley helps the crushed pigeon from the blood red water.
Flat on his back on the pavement, the crushed pigeon turns up his toes.
He asked me.... if I knew a parrot, whispers the pigeon.
And did you? asks Saint Roley. Or was that the first line of your poem? Not much rhymes with parrot.
Carrot, says the pigeon.
His broken wing flutters.
Saint Roley nods sagely.
My brother drowned, says Saint Roley. And I was not with him.
Lucky you, says the pigeon.
Not my point, says Saint Roley. If you are dying, I'll stay with you until it's over.
If it will make you feel better, says the pigeon.
It's supposed to make you feel better, says Saint Roley. Dying is good news and bad news.
Ca-cha! Well, that does surprise me, coughs the pigeon.
It surprised me, says Saint Roley. Anyway what about the parrot?
H-u-u-u-h!. The pigeon expires.
I hope that helped, says Saint Roley.
Another pigeon stops by.
I couldn't help overhearing, says the pigeon. Are you a poet?
Not really, says Saint Roley.
Only I heard you rhyme parrot with carrot.
That was him, says Saint Roley. I dared not suggest it myself.
Still, it took his mind off the end, says the pigeon.
It did, says Saint Roley
Tuesday, April 24, 2018
First World Problems
The bus empties.
Right, says Simon. I'm heading straight to Chimborazo University. Who's coming?
I suppose we should come, says Tilly.
You should, says Simon. The sooner we get this project started the better. Gaius, have you booked a hotel?
No, says Gaius. Arthur will do it.
Sure, says Arthur. I'll do it.
Arthur heads off, perhaps to find a hotel.
Sweezus seems to have been left in charge of Terence and Saint Roley.
Let's look for my parrot, says Terence.
There's one, says Sweezus.
That's a pigeon, says Saint Roley.
It might know a parrot, says Terence.
He follows the pigeon, which stops at a civic fountain outside a pink building with flags.
Saint Roley thinks Sweezus looks like he needs cheering up.
Why don't you make a poem? says Saint Roley. It did wonders for me.
I'm more of a prose guy, says Sweezus.
Prose is good, says Saint Roley. Speak your trouble.
I'm only here because Gaius needs Arthur, says Sweezus.
Is that IT? asks Saint Roley. First world problem.
Sweezus has to agree that it is a first world problem.
Think of the Andean pouched frogs, says Saint Roley. Think of our mission.
A cry comes from the fountain. Terence has fallen in.
A man has rushed out of the pink building, shouting something in Spanish.
........!
(not dots, proper Spanish)
Sweezus is about to go over and rescue Terence when his phone rings. It's Arthur.
Devil's Nose, says Arthur. You and me are booked on the train. Meet me at the station.
Cool. Where's the station?
But Arthur's phone has gone dead.
The man from the pink building is remonstrating with Terence.
Terence is pretending he doesn't understand.
Sorry, says Sweezus. Did he do something wrong?
YES! He shouted! says Terence. He said I was under-tended.
Not him, says Sweezus. You.
So he does understand Spanish! says the man from the pink building.
He ought to, says Sweezus. He's from Barcelona. But I don't. What's under-tended?
I didn't say that, says the man. I said unattended. In Spanish.
I get it, says Sweezus. But he's really with me. We're here on a mission. Plus we do a sideline in Prognosticating Sea Salt, if you're interested.
And we need a new parrot, says Terence.
What a stroke of good luck! says the man. I am Pedro Vincente Maldonado. You met my mother. She has great faith in your Sea Salt.
No kidding? says Sweezus. How come?
H for Hawaii, says Pedro Vincente Maldonado. Where I'm soon to be going.
Sweezus tries to look as though this was to be expected
In fact, says Pedro Vincente Maldonado, I'm meeting my children at El Paseo Shopping Mall in ten minutes. We're shopping for gear for Hawaii. They'll know where this young man can get hold of a parrot.
Yeah but I have to get to the station, says Sweezus.
He can come with me, if you like, says Pedro Vincente Maldonado. We'll meet again at my house for dinner.
Yay! says Terence. Best day ever!
He goes off with Pedro Vincente Maldonado to El Paseo Shopping Mall...
... leaving Sweezus free to look for the station...
...and Saint Roley feeling some degree of empathy...
...with a crushed pigeon, bleeding into the fountain.
Right, says Simon. I'm heading straight to Chimborazo University. Who's coming?
I suppose we should come, says Tilly.
You should, says Simon. The sooner we get this project started the better. Gaius, have you booked a hotel?
No, says Gaius. Arthur will do it.
Sure, says Arthur. I'll do it.
Arthur heads off, perhaps to find a hotel.
Sweezus seems to have been left in charge of Terence and Saint Roley.
Let's look for my parrot, says Terence.
There's one, says Sweezus.
That's a pigeon, says Saint Roley.
It might know a parrot, says Terence.
He follows the pigeon, which stops at a civic fountain outside a pink building with flags.
Saint Roley thinks Sweezus looks like he needs cheering up.
Why don't you make a poem? says Saint Roley. It did wonders for me.
I'm more of a prose guy, says Sweezus.
Prose is good, says Saint Roley. Speak your trouble.
I'm only here because Gaius needs Arthur, says Sweezus.
Is that IT? asks Saint Roley. First world problem.
Sweezus has to agree that it is a first world problem.
Think of the Andean pouched frogs, says Saint Roley. Think of our mission.
A cry comes from the fountain. Terence has fallen in.
A man has rushed out of the pink building, shouting something in Spanish.
........!
(not dots, proper Spanish)
Sweezus is about to go over and rescue Terence when his phone rings. It's Arthur.
Devil's Nose, says Arthur. You and me are booked on the train. Meet me at the station.
Cool. Where's the station?
But Arthur's phone has gone dead.
The man from the pink building is remonstrating with Terence.
Terence is pretending he doesn't understand.
Sorry, says Sweezus. Did he do something wrong?
YES! He shouted! says Terence. He said I was under-tended.
Not him, says Sweezus. You.
So he does understand Spanish! says the man from the pink building.
He ought to, says Sweezus. He's from Barcelona. But I don't. What's under-tended?
I didn't say that, says the man. I said unattended. In Spanish.
I get it, says Sweezus. But he's really with me. We're here on a mission. Plus we do a sideline in Prognosticating Sea Salt, if you're interested.
And we need a new parrot, says Terence.
What a stroke of good luck! says the man. I am Pedro Vincente Maldonado. You met my mother. She has great faith in your Sea Salt.
No kidding? says Sweezus. How come?
H for Hawaii, says Pedro Vincente Maldonado. Where I'm soon to be going.
Sweezus tries to look as though this was to be expected
In fact, says Pedro Vincente Maldonado, I'm meeting my children at El Paseo Shopping Mall in ten minutes. We're shopping for gear for Hawaii. They'll know where this young man can get hold of a parrot.
Yeah but I have to get to the station, says Sweezus.
He can come with me, if you like, says Pedro Vincente Maldonado. We'll meet again at my house for dinner.
Yay! says Terence. Best day ever!
He goes off with Pedro Vincente Maldonado to El Paseo Shopping Mall...
... leaving Sweezus free to look for the station...
...and Saint Roley feeling some degree of empathy...
...with a crushed pigeon, bleeding into the fountain.
Monday, April 23, 2018
Dark Thoughts On Volcano Avenue
It couldn't have been a mozzie, says Simon. No mosquitoes live up this high.
Uh-huh, says Sweezus, rubbing his finger.
A thought strikes him, regarding the claw.
He looks sideways at Terence, whose claw has now been restored with fish glue.
Same hand, same finger/claw.
He looks morosely at the passing volcanoes.
It's coincidental. That's all.
Terence is grilling Saint Roley.
What was the BAD news?
Uh? says Saint Roley, who is now unencumbered by thoughts of his brother.
Ssh! hisses Tilly. His brother is dead. That was the bad news.
Yes, whispers Lydia. That much was clear in his poem, but what was the good news?
Tilly considers.
The passing volcanoes have glaciers on top.
The bus rumbles reliably. The train in the distance slows down. A cloud puffs in the clear blue sky. Puff.
Maybe the bad news was the good news, says Tilly.
In these mountains, thoughts occur like that.
They will soon be in Riobamba, sixth largest Ecuadorian city, closest to Chimborazo the highest volcano in la Avenida de las Volcanes.
Simon checks his back pack for the pool salt. And his phone, for the address of the National University of Chimborazo.
Gaius looks at his notebook. Drat. Why did he give away the page with the primary notes on the Andean marsupial tree frog? Of all pages. The Virgin of Quito would probably have been just as delighted with a doodle.
He tries to remember what the notes said:
Species confined to the Andes and inter-Andean valleys, from Imbabura south to Chimborazo. Yes. Habitat varies from montane forests to dry rocky hillsides....
He looks out at the dry rocky hillsides, visualising an unwell marsupial frog.
Arthur thinks how lame this bus trip is. How good it would have been to have dangerously ridden up on the roof of the train.
He resolves to do something reckless when they reach Riobamba.
Sweezus will no doubt join him in it.
Terence is thinking about Saint Roley's bad news which was good news.
As it relates to himself.
The bad news would be that they were too high up to find a red masked parrot because Simon said there were no mosquitoes.
But how could the good news be the same?
No, Tilly is stupid.
He'll NEVER get a parrot.....
Beep! The bus arrives at the outskirts of beautiful Riobamba.
Uh-huh, says Sweezus, rubbing his finger.
A thought strikes him, regarding the claw.
He looks sideways at Terence, whose claw has now been restored with fish glue.
Same hand, same finger/claw.
He looks morosely at the passing volcanoes.
It's coincidental. That's all.
Terence is grilling Saint Roley.
What was the BAD news?
Uh? says Saint Roley, who is now unencumbered by thoughts of his brother.
Ssh! hisses Tilly. His brother is dead. That was the bad news.
Yes, whispers Lydia. That much was clear in his poem, but what was the good news?
Tilly considers.
The passing volcanoes have glaciers on top.
The bus rumbles reliably. The train in the distance slows down. A cloud puffs in the clear blue sky. Puff.
Maybe the bad news was the good news, says Tilly.
In these mountains, thoughts occur like that.
They will soon be in Riobamba, sixth largest Ecuadorian city, closest to Chimborazo the highest volcano in la Avenida de las Volcanes.
Simon checks his back pack for the pool salt. And his phone, for the address of the National University of Chimborazo.
Gaius looks at his notebook. Drat. Why did he give away the page with the primary notes on the Andean marsupial tree frog? Of all pages. The Virgin of Quito would probably have been just as delighted with a doodle.
He tries to remember what the notes said:
Species confined to the Andes and inter-Andean valleys, from Imbabura south to Chimborazo. Yes. Habitat varies from montane forests to dry rocky hillsides....
He looks out at the dry rocky hillsides, visualising an unwell marsupial frog.
Arthur thinks how lame this bus trip is. How good it would have been to have dangerously ridden up on the roof of the train.
He resolves to do something reckless when they reach Riobamba.
Sweezus will no doubt join him in it.
Terence is thinking about Saint Roley's bad news which was good news.
As it relates to himself.
The bad news would be that they were too high up to find a red masked parrot because Simon said there were no mosquitoes.
But how could the good news be the same?
No, Tilly is stupid.
He'll NEVER get a parrot.....
Beep! The bus arrives at the outskirts of beautiful Riobamba.
Sunday, April 22, 2018
The Cathartic Nature Of Poetry
Everyone is focused on Saint Roley, who is weeping.
How can we cheer him up? whispers Tilly.
Un-drown his brother, says Terence.
Saint Roley overhears this and weeps even louder.
Krvee!
I know! says Terence. Arthur can make him a poem.
Why me? asks Arthur.
I'll make my own poem, says Saint Roley.
Great. He will make his own poem.
The team can relax. They stare out of the bus windows at vegetation, mountains and stones.
Two more hours to Riobamba.
Saint Roley has not made a poem before. He remembers the time Terence made one.
Terence had made it up quickly.
Saint Roley gathers his thoughts.
O my brother...
No that's far too direct.
He must come at it sideways.
A sensible strategy.
The poem unfolds itself as the bus rumbles over the mountainous roads.
When it is finished, he speaks it:
My Brother
I asked the Virgin the fate of my brother
She said what will you give me
O Saint Roley?
I offered her Sea Salt
She said how is it packaged
O Saint Roley?
I said it's not packaged at all at the moment
O Virgin of Quito,
She said I'll leave it to you
O Saint Roley.
I had to find Sweezus
But he was out drinking,
When Terence said to me
O Saint Roley
Sweezus will find me if I break off my claw
O Saint Roley.
He broke it off but Sweezus didn't come
So we both went inside
Terence and Saint Roley.
Gaius said what's the matter
How can I help you
O Saint Roley?
He gave us a sheet of his notepaper
Covered in frog notes
I wrapped up a few grains of Sea Salt
For the Virgin of Quito.
She thanked me and said
I have good news and bad news
Your brother is dead
O Saint Roley.
The end.
Oh, well done, Saint Roley, says Tilly.
That was so sad, says Lydia.
Mental, says Buzz.
Cathartic, says Gaius
He does look a lot better, says Simon.
Yeah, good one, says Sweezus. But what's that about the claw?
YOU DIDN'T COME says Terence. I ruined it for NOTHING.
How was that meant to work, little buddy? asks Sweezus.
He thought you had a connection, says Saint Roley. But you didn't.
You had an itchy finger, says Lydia. At the karaoke. Remember.
Shit yeah, says Sweezus. I thought it was a mozzie.
How can we cheer him up? whispers Tilly.
Un-drown his brother, says Terence.
Saint Roley overhears this and weeps even louder.
Krvee!
I know! says Terence. Arthur can make him a poem.
Why me? asks Arthur.
I'll make my own poem, says Saint Roley.
Great. He will make his own poem.
The team can relax. They stare out of the bus windows at vegetation, mountains and stones.
Two more hours to Riobamba.
Saint Roley has not made a poem before. He remembers the time Terence made one.
Terence had made it up quickly.
Saint Roley gathers his thoughts.
O my brother...
No that's far too direct.
He must come at it sideways.
A sensible strategy.
The poem unfolds itself as the bus rumbles over the mountainous roads.
When it is finished, he speaks it:
My Brother
I asked the Virgin the fate of my brother
She said what will you give me
O Saint Roley?
I offered her Sea Salt
She said how is it packaged
O Saint Roley?
I said it's not packaged at all at the moment
O Virgin of Quito,
She said I'll leave it to you
O Saint Roley.
I had to find Sweezus
But he was out drinking,
When Terence said to me
O Saint Roley
Sweezus will find me if I break off my claw
O Saint Roley.
He broke it off but Sweezus didn't come
So we both went inside
Terence and Saint Roley.
Gaius said what's the matter
How can I help you
O Saint Roley?
He gave us a sheet of his notepaper
Covered in frog notes
I wrapped up a few grains of Sea Salt
For the Virgin of Quito.
She thanked me and said
I have good news and bad news
Your brother is dead
O Saint Roley.
The end.
Oh, well done, Saint Roley, says Tilly.
That was so sad, says Lydia.
Mental, says Buzz.
Cathartic, says Gaius
He does look a lot better, says Simon.
Yeah, good one, says Sweezus. But what's that about the claw?
YOU DIDN'T COME says Terence. I ruined it for NOTHING.
How was that meant to work, little buddy? asks Sweezus.
He thought you had a connection, says Saint Roley. But you didn't.
You had an itchy finger, says Lydia. At the karaoke. Remember.
Shit yeah, says Sweezus. I thought it was a mozzie.
Saturday, April 21, 2018
Risk Does No Harm
Next morning. The bus terminal in Quito.
A bus leaves for Riobamba every fifteen minutes.
The trip takes four hours.
This should be quite scenic, says Simon. We pass several volcanoes.
Great, says Tilly.
Brilliant, says Lydia.
Awesome, says Buzz.
I know you're hung over, says Simon.
So are these two, says Gaius, indicating Sweezus and Arthur.
Sweezus and Arthur look green.
So does Saint Roley, for a different reason.
Terence is fine, but smells faintly of fish glue.
The bus comes. They all climb on.
The bus winds through the streets of Quito and out into the spectacular country.
By the way, we're invited to dinner at Maldonado's, says Gaius.
Is it formal? asks Simon.
No no, says Gaius. His children own frogs.
Saint Roley had been staring out of the window at mountains, and stones.
But now he starts sobbing.
He is, by good or bad luck, sitting next to Arthur.
What? says Arthur.
Nothing, sniffs Saint Roley. It was the mention of frogs. I recalled the recent fate of our own Growling Grass Frog, which reminded me of my brother, whose fate I now know.
What was the fate? asks Arthur.
The long or the short version? asks Saint Roley.
Arthur looks out of the window at mountains, gullies, vegetation and various stones.
Long version, says Arthur.
She didn't give me the long version, says Saint Roley. She said it would be too distressing.
Who did? asks Arthur.
The Virgin of Quito. I exchanged specially packaged Sea Salt for the information.
Arthur nudges Sweezus, behind whom he is sitting.
I'm listening says Sweezus. What packaging?
Gaius gave me a sheet of his notepaper, covered in frog notes. She was delighted.
Cool idea, says Sweezus.
I thought so, says Gaius, who is sitting next to Sweezus.
So what was the short version? asks Arthur.
He drowned, says Saint Roley. It's official.
And that's all you got? says Arthur.
Yes, says Saint Roley. It now seems like not such a good deal.
It wasn't, says Arthur. You didn't get details.
Saint Roley breaks back into tears.
Everyone looks out of the window at mountains and volcanoes, stones and gullies. A train appears, zigzagging up a mountain, in the distance.
See that train, says Simon. At one time you could sit on the roof for the journey to Riobamba, but they stopped it.
Shame, says Gaius. A bit of risk does no harm.
Arthur's arm is wet. When will Saint Roley stop crying?
A bus leaves for Riobamba every fifteen minutes.
The trip takes four hours.
This should be quite scenic, says Simon. We pass several volcanoes.
Great, says Tilly.
Brilliant, says Lydia.
Awesome, says Buzz.
I know you're hung over, says Simon.
So are these two, says Gaius, indicating Sweezus and Arthur.
Sweezus and Arthur look green.
So does Saint Roley, for a different reason.
Terence is fine, but smells faintly of fish glue.
The bus comes. They all climb on.
The bus winds through the streets of Quito and out into the spectacular country.
By the way, we're invited to dinner at Maldonado's, says Gaius.
Is it formal? asks Simon.
No no, says Gaius. His children own frogs.
Saint Roley had been staring out of the window at mountains, and stones.
But now he starts sobbing.
He is, by good or bad luck, sitting next to Arthur.
What? says Arthur.
Nothing, sniffs Saint Roley. It was the mention of frogs. I recalled the recent fate of our own Growling Grass Frog, which reminded me of my brother, whose fate I now know.
What was the fate? asks Arthur.
The long or the short version? asks Saint Roley.
Arthur looks out of the window at mountains, gullies, vegetation and various stones.
Long version, says Arthur.
She didn't give me the long version, says Saint Roley. She said it would be too distressing.
Who did? asks Arthur.
The Virgin of Quito. I exchanged specially packaged Sea Salt for the information.
Arthur nudges Sweezus, behind whom he is sitting.
I'm listening says Sweezus. What packaging?
Gaius gave me a sheet of his notepaper, covered in frog notes. She was delighted.
Cool idea, says Sweezus.
I thought so, says Gaius, who is sitting next to Sweezus.
So what was the short version? asks Arthur.
He drowned, says Saint Roley. It's official.
And that's all you got? says Arthur.
Yes, says Saint Roley. It now seems like not such a good deal.
It wasn't, says Arthur. You didn't get details.
Saint Roley breaks back into tears.
Everyone looks out of the window at mountains and volcanoes, stones and gullies. A train appears, zigzagging up a mountain, in the distance.
See that train, says Simon. At one time you could sit on the roof for the journey to Riobamba, but they stopped it.
Shame, says Gaius. A bit of risk does no harm.
Arthur's arm is wet. When will Saint Roley stop crying?
Friday, April 20, 2018
Joy And Ruination
Saint Roley flies down.
Any joy? asks the dragon.
Not yet, says Saint Roley.
Thought not, says the dragon. And I suppose she wanted a present.
My fault. I offered, says Saint Roley. Now I have to produce it.
And I have to go, says the dragon. Onwards and upwards!
He is reeled up by the Virgin, in an undignified manner.
What do I do? asks Terence.
Go back inside, says Saint Roley. I have to find Sweezus and Arthur in one of the bars or nightclubs in Quito. It might take some time.
I'm good at finding, says Terence.
No you're not, says Saint Roley.
I found you, says Terence.
Arthur found me, says Saint Roley.
Before, says Terence. In the egg.
And you ruined it, says Saint Roley. It's no thanks to you that I'm here.
If I was ruined, says Terence. Sweezus would find me.
What are you saying? asks Saint Roley.
........
In La Ronda, Sweezus, Arthur and Buzz have tacked onto an Ecuadorian food tour. Their stomachs are lined with caldo de guagua mama, (placenta soup), and tripa mishqui, (tripe in peanut sauce).
They leave the food tour and join a ten dollar pub crawl, organised by Eduardo.
First stop, a brewery where they drink mojitas and try local artisanal beer.
Second stop, a bar for a shot of aguardiente.
Third, a karaoke bar. Lydia and Tilly turn up. They like karaoke.
Eduardo is a fun guy. There are twenty people on the pub crawl, all singing and drinking.
Last pub on the agenda offers 'open bar for an hour' to the crawlers.
This is the coolest pub crawl ever, says Lydia.
Yeah, says Buzz. Did you try Happy Japa?
Yes, and Andean Sunrise, says Lydia.
Sweezus comes over, nursing his finger.
You got a sore finger? asks Lydia.
Nah, says Sweezus, wiggling his finger. It's nothing.
.....
Terence is regretting breaking the claw from his finger.
He's not coming, says Saint Roley. Break something else off.
NO! says Terence.
They go back inside Inn Panecillo, and take the lift up to Gaius's room.
There you are, says Gaius. I've been waiting.
Guess what? says Terence. I met a spark-spitting dragon!
Can Terence stay here? asks Saint Roley. I have to find Sweezus.
What for? asks Gaius. He'll be no use to anyone by now.
Order for Sea Salt, says Saint Roley. The Virgin. She wants superior packaging.
Does she? says Gaius. What is she prepared to pay for it?
News of the fate of my brother, says Saint Roley.
Gaius is moved.
He tears a page from his notebook. Notes relating to the Andean marsupial tree frog of the Hemifractidae family.
Use this, he says generously. Wrap up a few grains of Sea Salt. Sweezus left it with me,.
Thanks! says Saint Roley.
Thanks for NOTHING! says Terence. I just broke my CLAW off!
Never mind, says Gaius. I'll mend it with fish glue.
Any joy? asks the dragon.
Not yet, says Saint Roley.
Thought not, says the dragon. And I suppose she wanted a present.
My fault. I offered, says Saint Roley. Now I have to produce it.
And I have to go, says the dragon. Onwards and upwards!
He is reeled up by the Virgin, in an undignified manner.
What do I do? asks Terence.
Go back inside, says Saint Roley. I have to find Sweezus and Arthur in one of the bars or nightclubs in Quito. It might take some time.
I'm good at finding, says Terence.
No you're not, says Saint Roley.
I found you, says Terence.
Arthur found me, says Saint Roley.
Before, says Terence. In the egg.
And you ruined it, says Saint Roley. It's no thanks to you that I'm here.
If I was ruined, says Terence. Sweezus would find me.
What are you saying? asks Saint Roley.
........
In La Ronda, Sweezus, Arthur and Buzz have tacked onto an Ecuadorian food tour. Their stomachs are lined with caldo de guagua mama, (placenta soup), and tripa mishqui, (tripe in peanut sauce).
They leave the food tour and join a ten dollar pub crawl, organised by Eduardo.
First stop, a brewery where they drink mojitas and try local artisanal beer.
Second stop, a bar for a shot of aguardiente.
Third, a karaoke bar. Lydia and Tilly turn up. They like karaoke.
Eduardo is a fun guy. There are twenty people on the pub crawl, all singing and drinking.
Last pub on the agenda offers 'open bar for an hour' to the crawlers.
This is the coolest pub crawl ever, says Lydia.
Yeah, says Buzz. Did you try Happy Japa?
Yes, and Andean Sunrise, says Lydia.
Sweezus comes over, nursing his finger.
You got a sore finger? asks Lydia.
Nah, says Sweezus, wiggling his finger. It's nothing.
.....
Terence is regretting breaking the claw from his finger.
He's not coming, says Saint Roley. Break something else off.
NO! says Terence.
They go back inside Inn Panecillo, and take the lift up to Gaius's room.
There you are, says Gaius. I've been waiting.
Guess what? says Terence. I met a spark-spitting dragon!
Can Terence stay here? asks Saint Roley. I have to find Sweezus.
What for? asks Gaius. He'll be no use to anyone by now.
Order for Sea Salt, says Saint Roley. The Virgin. She wants superior packaging.
Does she? says Gaius. What is she prepared to pay for it?
News of the fate of my brother, says Saint Roley.
Gaius is moved.
He tears a page from his notebook. Notes relating to the Andean marsupial tree frog of the Hemifractidae family.
Use this, he says generously. Wrap up a few grains of Sea Salt. Sweezus left it with me,.
Thanks! says Saint Roley.
Thanks for NOTHING! says Terence. I just broke my CLAW off!
Never mind, says Gaius. I'll mend it with fish glue.
Thursday, April 19, 2018
Tricky Fingers
Wonderful view, says Saint Roley
I tire of it, says the Virgin of Quito. Night follows day.
So it does, says Saint Roley.
Lights on, lights off, says the Virgin.
Very nice too, says Saint Roley, but I see what you mean.
My dragon doesn't, says the Virgin. How did he do down there?
He did all right, says Saint Roley. He said he only had five minutes.
That's all I ever give him, says the Virgin of Quito.
My lady, says Saint Roley, you seem to know things.
Things as they are, says the Virgin. But not things as they will be.
That's all I require, says Saint Roley. My brother's fate is a given. I just don't know what it is.
So you wish to know what it is, says the Virgin.
I do, says Saint Roley.
And what do I get? asks the Virgin.
Our Prognosticating Sea Salt, says Saint Roley. That's why I'm here.
So, my dragon delivered the message, says the Virgin. For that, he can have five more minutes.
How will he know? asks Saint Roley.
I'll buzz him, says the Virgin of Quito.
ZAPP!
Terence is as shocked as the dragon.
I've got five more minutes, says the dragon of the Virgin of Quito.
You made SPARKS! says Terence. You said you couldn't.
It wasn't me, says the dragon.
He makes an acknowledging sign.
He's got it, says the Virgin. Now speak to me of your brother.
It was off the coast of Saint Malo, says Saint Roley. Two brothers, in a cardboard box, getting wetter and wetter. The cardboard box breaks up. We must make a decision. Which piece to rely on? My brother chooses the one with the FINGER.
I'm aware of those fingers, says the Virgin. They can be tricky.
He believed it was the finger of god, says Saint Roley.
That's why they are tricky, says the Virgin of Quito. I suppose it was pointing towards the horizon.
It was, says Saint Roley. And that was the last I saw of my brother.
Too bad, says the Virgin of Quito. I imagine he drowned.
Don't you know? asks Saint Roley.
I could make enquiries, says the Virgin. Now about that Sea Salt. Does it come packaged?
It comes in recycled packaging, says Saint Roley. But we've sold the only two with the swan eyes. I don't suppose you'd consider used burger paper?
I can't come at that, says the Virgin of Quito. Think of the sauce.
Quite, says Saint Roley.
I'll leave it to you, says the Virgin.
I tire of it, says the Virgin of Quito. Night follows day.
So it does, says Saint Roley.
Lights on, lights off, says the Virgin.
Very nice too, says Saint Roley, but I see what you mean.
My dragon doesn't, says the Virgin. How did he do down there?
He did all right, says Saint Roley. He said he only had five minutes.
That's all I ever give him, says the Virgin of Quito.
My lady, says Saint Roley, you seem to know things.
Things as they are, says the Virgin. But not things as they will be.
That's all I require, says Saint Roley. My brother's fate is a given. I just don't know what it is.
So you wish to know what it is, says the Virgin.
I do, says Saint Roley.
And what do I get? asks the Virgin.
Our Prognosticating Sea Salt, says Saint Roley. That's why I'm here.
So, my dragon delivered the message, says the Virgin. For that, he can have five more minutes.
How will he know? asks Saint Roley.
I'll buzz him, says the Virgin of Quito.
ZAPP!
Terence is as shocked as the dragon.
I've got five more minutes, says the dragon of the Virgin of Quito.
You made SPARKS! says Terence. You said you couldn't.
It wasn't me, says the dragon.
He makes an acknowledging sign.
He's got it, says the Virgin. Now speak to me of your brother.
It was off the coast of Saint Malo, says Saint Roley. Two brothers, in a cardboard box, getting wetter and wetter. The cardboard box breaks up. We must make a decision. Which piece to rely on? My brother chooses the one with the FINGER.
I'm aware of those fingers, says the Virgin. They can be tricky.
He believed it was the finger of god, says Saint Roley.
That's why they are tricky, says the Virgin of Quito. I suppose it was pointing towards the horizon.
It was, says Saint Roley. And that was the last I saw of my brother.
Too bad, says the Virgin of Quito. I imagine he drowned.
Don't you know? asks Saint Roley.
I could make enquiries, says the Virgin. Now about that Sea Salt. Does it come packaged?
It comes in recycled packaging, says Saint Roley. But we've sold the only two with the swan eyes. I don't suppose you'd consider used burger paper?
I can't come at that, says the Virgin of Quito. Think of the sauce.
Quite, says Saint Roley.
I'll leave it to you, says the Virgin.
Wednesday, April 18, 2018
Unwinding The Coils
Saint Roley has settled his stomach ( he hopes) by eating some soap.
Now, where is Terence?
Saint Roley hops swiftly outside.
No Terence.
Saint Roley flies up to the roof of the Inn Panecillo.
Yes, there is Terence, round the back, looking up at the statue.
What a beautiful statue. She even has wings.
And what is that upon which she is standing?
A dragon.
That is what Terence will be looking at.
He flies down and lands beside Terence.
Yay! says Terence. You found me.
You're easy to find, says Saint Roley.
Look! says Terence. She's standing on a dragon.
I saw it, says Saint Roley. She also has wings. This makes me think she might know something of the fate of my brother.
The logic is way beyond Terence.
Can we go up there? asks Terence.
I could, says Saint Roley. You couldn't. Shall I go up there?
No, says Terence.
But if Saint Roley doesn't go up, nothing will happen.
All right, yes, says Terence. Take them a message.
Okay, says Saint Roley. What is the message?
Terence hasn't thought of a message.
I know, says Saint Roley. I could say: The infant below is your nephew, and he really likes dragons.
Then what ? asks Terence.
Then she'll say.....begins Saint Roley.
But he stops in mid-sentence.
The dragon has come tumbling down. The Virgin has released it.
Phoo-raa, says the dragon. It unwinds its coils. It's longer than we might have expected.
Saint Roley flies up to the roof of the Inn Panecillo, eyes on the dragon.
Can you make sparks? asks Terence.
No, says the dragon. Well probably, but I'm not allowed.
Did you fall? asks Terence.
She let me go, says the dragon, but just for five minutes. She sent a message.
What is it? asks Terence.
Have you got any of that Prognosticating Sea Salt? says the dragon.
Not on me, says Terence.
But Saint Roley is listening. He has an idea. He is so excited he hiccups. A bubble escapes from his beak.
The bubbles rises, followed by Saint Roley.
Hello, says the Virgin of Quito.
The infant below.... begins Saint Roley.
I know, says the Virgin of Quito. He's my nephew, and he really likes dragons.
Now, where is Terence?
Saint Roley hops swiftly outside.
No Terence.
Saint Roley flies up to the roof of the Inn Panecillo.
Yes, there is Terence, round the back, looking up at the statue.
What a beautiful statue. She even has wings.
And what is that upon which she is standing?
A dragon.
That is what Terence will be looking at.
He flies down and lands beside Terence.
Yay! says Terence. You found me.
You're easy to find, says Saint Roley.
Look! says Terence. She's standing on a dragon.
I saw it, says Saint Roley. She also has wings. This makes me think she might know something of the fate of my brother.
The logic is way beyond Terence.
Can we go up there? asks Terence.
I could, says Saint Roley. You couldn't. Shall I go up there?
No, says Terence.
But if Saint Roley doesn't go up, nothing will happen.
All right, yes, says Terence. Take them a message.
Okay, says Saint Roley. What is the message?
Terence hasn't thought of a message.
I know, says Saint Roley. I could say: The infant below is your nephew, and he really likes dragons.
Then what ? asks Terence.
Then she'll say.....begins Saint Roley.
But he stops in mid-sentence.
The dragon has come tumbling down. The Virgin has released it.
Phoo-raa, says the dragon. It unwinds its coils. It's longer than we might have expected.
Saint Roley flies up to the roof of the Inn Panecillo, eyes on the dragon.
Can you make sparks? asks Terence.
No, says the dragon. Well probably, but I'm not allowed.
Did you fall? asks Terence.
She let me go, says the dragon, but just for five minutes. She sent a message.
What is it? asks Terence.
Have you got any of that Prognosticating Sea Salt? says the dragon.
Not on me, says Terence.
But Saint Roley is listening. He has an idea. He is so excited he hiccups. A bubble escapes from his beak.
The bubbles rises, followed by Saint Roley.
Hello, says the Virgin of Quito.
The infant below.... begins Saint Roley.
I know, says the Virgin of Quito. He's my nephew, and he really likes dragons.
Tuesday, April 17, 2018
What Are Wings For
The Panecillo Inn in Quito is pretty close to the statue of the Virgin.
From a certain angle, she appears to float over the top.
Not float exactly, more like dancing.
But with the Inn in your line of vision you don't see the dragon.
And the dragon has a different perspective.
Perpetually crushed.
Look, Terence, says Lydia. Isn't she beautiful.
No, says Terence.
She's even got wings, says Tilly. That seems inappropriate.
We'll go up her in the morning, says Lydia.
Sweezus doesn't want to stay at the Panecillo Inn, almost under a Virgin.
No way.
He and Arthur are going to head out on the town. See you guys in the morning!
I'm coming with you, says Buzz.
Off they go.
We should go with them, says Lydia.
Yeah, we should, says Tilly. This is our one night in Quito.
Off they go too.
Wah! says Terence. Who'll look after me?
Not me, says Gaius. I must make a phone call.
I will, says Saint Roley, but first I need a toilet. Wait here.
That lets Simon off the hook. He goes to his room to read up on the Avenue of Volcanoes.
Gaius is still in the lobby. He tries the number of Pedro Vincente Maldonado.
Hello? Maldonado.
Hello, sir. My name is Gaius Plinius Secundus. Your mother....
Ah! say no more. I've been expecting your call. Mother spoke highly....
Wonderful! I would very much like to meet you. I believe you live in Riobamba?
I do, but I am off to Hawaii in a few days. Could you come tomorrow?
Err... yes of course. I and my team will be catching a bus to Riobamba in the morning.
Your team? Yes, do please bring them. I hear they carry the famous Prognosticating Sea Salt.
Famous? Jumping Jupiter! Its fame precedes us.
Yes, yes, you must all come to dinner. Here's my address.
Wait. I don't seem to have a pencil.
Gaius scrabbles around for a pencil.
Is there one on the desk at reception? Surely. No. Drat. He hurries to the lift in the hope that Simon will have one.
Terence waits alone in the lobby.
Why not go outside and have a look at his stupid winged auntie? What's she got wings for?
He tiptoes outside, and round the back of the Inn Panecillo.
Looks up at his aunt.
A dumb crown of stars, a soppy grin, a loony head tilt, wings and... she's made of little shiny pieces of metal all joined together and under her foot is a DRAGON!
That changes everything.
From a certain angle, she appears to float over the top.
Not float exactly, more like dancing.
But with the Inn in your line of vision you don't see the dragon.
And the dragon has a different perspective.
Perpetually crushed.
Look, Terence, says Lydia. Isn't she beautiful.
No, says Terence.
She's even got wings, says Tilly. That seems inappropriate.
We'll go up her in the morning, says Lydia.
Sweezus doesn't want to stay at the Panecillo Inn, almost under a Virgin.
No way.
He and Arthur are going to head out on the town. See you guys in the morning!
I'm coming with you, says Buzz.
Off they go.
We should go with them, says Lydia.
Yeah, we should, says Tilly. This is our one night in Quito.
Off they go too.
Wah! says Terence. Who'll look after me?
Not me, says Gaius. I must make a phone call.
I will, says Saint Roley, but first I need a toilet. Wait here.
That lets Simon off the hook. He goes to his room to read up on the Avenue of Volcanoes.
Gaius is still in the lobby. He tries the number of Pedro Vincente Maldonado.
Hello? Maldonado.
Hello, sir. My name is Gaius Plinius Secundus. Your mother....
Ah! say no more. I've been expecting your call. Mother spoke highly....
Wonderful! I would very much like to meet you. I believe you live in Riobamba?
I do, but I am off to Hawaii in a few days. Could you come tomorrow?
Err... yes of course. I and my team will be catching a bus to Riobamba in the morning.
Your team? Yes, do please bring them. I hear they carry the famous Prognosticating Sea Salt.
Famous? Jumping Jupiter! Its fame precedes us.
Yes, yes, you must all come to dinner. Here's my address.
Wait. I don't seem to have a pencil.
Gaius scrabbles around for a pencil.
Is there one on the desk at reception? Surely. No. Drat. He hurries to the lift in the hope that Simon will have one.
Terence waits alone in the lobby.
Why not go outside and have a look at his stupid winged auntie? What's she got wings for?
He tiptoes outside, and round the back of the Inn Panecillo.
Looks up at his aunt.
A dumb crown of stars, a soppy grin, a loony head tilt, wings and... she's made of little shiny pieces of metal all joined together and under her foot is a DRAGON!
That changes everything.
Monday, April 16, 2018
Cherry Oo-ee
It's true. The Virgin of El Panecillo (the Muffin) is Terence's aunt.
And she knows he is coming to Quito.
She has an Instagram account and a smart phone.
It was her dragon who suggested the smart phone.
You have the best view, he said. Why not take advantage?
Crafty worm!
So she documents the view, night and day. And follows many others.
Maravilloso! Everyone this week is sharing photos of a mysterious Prognosticating Sea Salt.
The latest were posted by Maria Flores Palomino, a local lady.
Her Sea Salt has beautiful packaging. A swan eye glares out through a hole, an angry comma.
Maria Flores Palomino has posted a group photo of the travellers who sold her the Sea Salt.
That's the dead spit of Terence, in the corner!
My sister's boy, from Barcelona. The cement one.
.......
In ten minutes, the plane will land at Mariscal Sucre International Airport, east of Quito.
Gaius is checking his notes. Pedro Vincente Maldonado. Must give him a call. Meet his children.
Simon thinks: It's night time. We should stay at a hotel.
Saint Roley has tried the Think Jerky and it has stayed down. It was artisanal beef jerky, made from grass-fed beef. You should think about where your food comes from. And where it is going. His anus twitches. Oo-ee! Where is it going?
Arthur is inventing plan B. If Sweezus hates Riobamba we'll head off to the coast for some reason. But... there is the volcano.
Sweezus glowers at the particles of Sea Salt on his finger
Buzz is excited. We're here!
Lydia is trying to pick up a Crayangle that Terence has dropped. They aren't suppose to roll, being triangular. But this one has rolled.
Terence dreams of his new parakeet. A red-masked one. She will do what he wants. If he wants a red drink she will bring one. Her name will be Cherry.
Tilly is thinking about Terence. If the Virgin of the Muffin is his aunt, he jolly well ought to climb up inside her and say hello.
It's only good manners.
And she knows he is coming to Quito.
She has an Instagram account and a smart phone.
It was her dragon who suggested the smart phone.
You have the best view, he said. Why not take advantage?
Crafty worm!
So she documents the view, night and day. And follows many others.
Maravilloso! Everyone this week is sharing photos of a mysterious Prognosticating Sea Salt.
The latest were posted by Maria Flores Palomino, a local lady.
Her Sea Salt has beautiful packaging. A swan eye glares out through a hole, an angry comma.
Maria Flores Palomino has posted a group photo of the travellers who sold her the Sea Salt.
That's the dead spit of Terence, in the corner!
My sister's boy, from Barcelona. The cement one.
.......
In ten minutes, the plane will land at Mariscal Sucre International Airport, east of Quito.
Gaius is checking his notes. Pedro Vincente Maldonado. Must give him a call. Meet his children.
Simon thinks: It's night time. We should stay at a hotel.
Saint Roley has tried the Think Jerky and it has stayed down. It was artisanal beef jerky, made from grass-fed beef. You should think about where your food comes from. And where it is going. His anus twitches. Oo-ee! Where is it going?
Arthur is inventing plan B. If Sweezus hates Riobamba we'll head off to the coast for some reason. But... there is the volcano.
Sweezus glowers at the particles of Sea Salt on his finger
Buzz is excited. We're here!
Lydia is trying to pick up a Crayangle that Terence has dropped. They aren't suppose to roll, being triangular. But this one has rolled.
Terence dreams of his new parakeet. A red-masked one. She will do what he wants. If he wants a red drink she will bring one. Her name will be Cherry.
Tilly is thinking about Terence. If the Virgin of the Muffin is his aunt, he jolly well ought to climb up inside her and say hello.
It's only good manners.
Sunday, April 15, 2018
Options Options
On the flight to Quito, the Riobamba team wait for their dinner.
The trolley is way up at the front, trundling back slowly.
When it does get here, it will reach Terence's row first.
Decided? asks Tilly.
The Red-Masked Parrakeet, says Terence. A girl one.
Not which PARROT, says Lydia. Which dinner?
No dinner, says Terence.
You should eat, says Tilly.
A boy one, says Terence. I changed my mind.
Ask for a Kids' Snack Box, says Lydia.
Okay, says Tilly.
But the trolley is ages away.
What're you having? asks Buzz.
Dunno, says Sweezus.
He looks like a person who has picked the wrong holiday.
We didn't know it was inland, says Arthur.
There's a massive volcano in Riobamba, says Buzz. And in Quito, where we're landing, there's El Panecillo, a volcanic hill.
Sweezus does not cheer up.
Arthur looks at the menu.
Smoked gouda cheeseburger, says Arthur. We can re-use the paper.
Pepperoni deep dish pizza, says Buzz.
And he'll have the same, says Arthur.
So Sweezus gets no say in the matter.
Unless he comes good before the trolley draws level.
Dinner, Saint Roley? asks Gaius. The trolley is coming.
Perhaps not, says Saint Roley.
You should eat, says Gaius. You seem to be getting better at keeping things down that don't suit you.
How about a snack? asks Simon. Here's something interesting. Think Jerky.
Ha ha, laughs Gaius. That's not really an option.
Yes it is, says Simon. I'll ask for it. But for myself, I'll have the grilled chicken and napa slaw with tangerine slices and ginger dressing.
Hum... says Gaius. I'll go for the mezze sampler. I could do with a clean out.
What's in that? asks Simon.
Wheatberry salad with quinoa, edamame and corn, sundried tomato and basil hummus, almonds and triangle pita pieces.
Gaius is being kindly, ordering this vegan option. He does not need a clean out, but he thinks Saint Roley might like the quinoa, or the almonds. Think Jerky is asking for trouble
The trolley rumbles ever closer.
Did I hear you say El Panecillo? asks Lydia craning backwards.
Yep, says Buzz.
Is that that hill with the cool view of Quito? asks Lydia.
Yep, says Buzz. And you can go up inside the statue and see even further.
Wow! says Lydia. Terence, would you like to do that?
Do what? asks Terence.
He is thinking about his Snack Box. What will be in it?
Answer: apple sauce, a beef stick, cheddar crackers, dried fruit snacks, an activity pack and Crayangles (which are probably crayons).
Would you like to go up inside a statue and see the layout of the city? asks Lydia
NO THANKS! says Terence. I bet it's one of my aunties.
The trolley is way up at the front, trundling back slowly.
When it does get here, it will reach Terence's row first.
Decided? asks Tilly.
The Red-Masked Parrakeet, says Terence. A girl one.
Not which PARROT, says Lydia. Which dinner?
No dinner, says Terence.
You should eat, says Tilly.
A boy one, says Terence. I changed my mind.
Ask for a Kids' Snack Box, says Lydia.
Okay, says Tilly.
But the trolley is ages away.
What're you having? asks Buzz.
Dunno, says Sweezus.
He looks like a person who has picked the wrong holiday.
We didn't know it was inland, says Arthur.
There's a massive volcano in Riobamba, says Buzz. And in Quito, where we're landing, there's El Panecillo, a volcanic hill.
Sweezus does not cheer up.
Arthur looks at the menu.
Smoked gouda cheeseburger, says Arthur. We can re-use the paper.
Pepperoni deep dish pizza, says Buzz.
And he'll have the same, says Arthur.
So Sweezus gets no say in the matter.
Unless he comes good before the trolley draws level.
Dinner, Saint Roley? asks Gaius. The trolley is coming.
Perhaps not, says Saint Roley.
You should eat, says Gaius. You seem to be getting better at keeping things down that don't suit you.
How about a snack? asks Simon. Here's something interesting. Think Jerky.
Ha ha, laughs Gaius. That's not really an option.
Yes it is, says Simon. I'll ask for it. But for myself, I'll have the grilled chicken and napa slaw with tangerine slices and ginger dressing.
Hum... says Gaius. I'll go for the mezze sampler. I could do with a clean out.
What's in that? asks Simon.
Wheatberry salad with quinoa, edamame and corn, sundried tomato and basil hummus, almonds and triangle pita pieces.
Gaius is being kindly, ordering this vegan option. He does not need a clean out, but he thinks Saint Roley might like the quinoa, or the almonds. Think Jerky is asking for trouble
The trolley rumbles ever closer.
Did I hear you say El Panecillo? asks Lydia craning backwards.
Yep, says Buzz.
Is that that hill with the cool view of Quito? asks Lydia.
Yep, says Buzz. And you can go up inside the statue and see even further.
Wow! says Lydia. Terence, would you like to do that?
Do what? asks Terence.
He is thinking about his Snack Box. What will be in it?
Answer: apple sauce, a beef stick, cheddar crackers, dried fruit snacks, an activity pack and Crayangles (which are probably crayons).
Would you like to go up inside a statue and see the layout of the city? asks Lydia
NO THANKS! says Terence. I bet it's one of my aunties.
Saturday, April 14, 2018
Pros And Cons Of Collapsed Travel
Okay, we're about to leave LAX.
Through a black hole if possible.
But first, the fate of the recently sold Sea Salt.
It lies in seven twists of used burger paper, now owned by seven Californian young people.
At a table in Carl Jr's Green Burrito they open the twists and photograph the contents, to post on their Instagram accounts.
Holy guacamole!
Nothing but spirals.
.....
Okay. Woosh.
Damn. We're only in Houston.
George Bush Intercontinental Airport.
Anyhow, it's better than nothing.
The Riobamba team get off the plane.
Little has happened during the collapsing of three hours and twenty five minutes.
Except:
Arthur no longer has the scissors.
And Terence has two new sisters, Tilly and Lydia, who have promised to find him a parrot in Ecuador.
They have shown him images of Ecuadorian parrots, parakeets and parrotlets on their smart phones.
There is a red-masked one, that he likes.
Saint Roley has kept down the Horchata.
Gaius is pleased.
Sweezus has looked at a map on his phone and discovered that Riobamba is actually inland.
Therefore no surfing.
Buzz has laughed, because he knew that already.
That last flight seemed quite short, says Gaius, as he waits to go through security before boarding the Boeing to Quito. Let's hope it's the same for this next one.
Five hours fifteen minutes, says Simon. And I think we get dinner.
Dinner.
Okay. We'll do this the long way.
Through a black hole if possible.
But first, the fate of the recently sold Sea Salt.
It lies in seven twists of used burger paper, now owned by seven Californian young people.
At a table in Carl Jr's Green Burrito they open the twists and photograph the contents, to post on their Instagram accounts.
Holy guacamole!
Nothing but spirals.
.....
Okay. Woosh.
Damn. We're only in Houston.
George Bush Intercontinental Airport.
Anyhow, it's better than nothing.
The Riobamba team get off the plane.
Little has happened during the collapsing of three hours and twenty five minutes.
Except:
Arthur no longer has the scissors.
And Terence has two new sisters, Tilly and Lydia, who have promised to find him a parrot in Ecuador.
They have shown him images of Ecuadorian parrots, parakeets and parrotlets on their smart phones.
There is a red-masked one, that he likes.
Saint Roley has kept down the Horchata.
Gaius is pleased.
Sweezus has looked at a map on his phone and discovered that Riobamba is actually inland.
Therefore no surfing.
Buzz has laughed, because he knew that already.
That last flight seemed quite short, says Gaius, as he waits to go through security before boarding the Boeing to Quito. Let's hope it's the same for this next one.
Five hours fifteen minutes, says Simon. And I think we get dinner.
Dinner.
Okay. We'll do this the long way.
Friday, April 13, 2018
A Black Hole To Quito
In Panda Express.
Why do you want a sister? asks Lydia.
Because a sister is nearly as good as a parrot, says Terence.
You might find one in Ecuador, says Tilly.
A sister? asks Terence.
No, a parrot, says Tilly. Now your face has turned red.
It's the Chicken Kung Poo, says Terence.
Kung Pao, says Lydia. Was it too hot for you? Here, have a sip of my water.
Thanks, princess Elsa, says Terence.
In Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf.
Saint Roley has drunk a whole glass of Horchata.
His beak has turned pale.
It strikes me, says Simon, that as bio-ecologists we ought to have made better provision for this bird's diet.
It's okay, says Saint Roley. It was just the vanilla. It tastes lovely at first, and then becomes cloying.
As long as you're keeping it down, says Gaius. We don't want another incident.
I'm keeping it down, says Saint Roley.
In Carl Jr's Green Burrito.
A group of Californian young people are crowding around Sweezus, clamouring for Sea Salt.
Sold the two we had, says Sweezus. The rest's still unwrapped.
But we don't care about wrapping, says one of the young Californian people. Wrapping is bad for the planet.
This wasn't, says Sweezus. It was recycled plastic from the sea.
Okay, says another Californian young person. How's about....?
He is thinking.
How's about you wrap it in little twists of used burger paper?
Yuck, Brendan, says another young Californian person. The salt'd get covered in SAUCE.
You could wash it, says Buzz.
And dry it, says Arthur. Or the salt would stick to the paper....
...resulting in an unreliable prediction, says Sweezus.
Yeeah well, says Brendan. Who cares about that? Just let us have some.
It's a hundred dollars a twist, says Arthur, ripping his burger wrapper into tiny sticky pieces.
By the time he has made seven hundred dollars, it is time (FINALLY) to head to security (AGAIN) before boarding the United Airlines flight to HOUSTON.
O for a black hole through which I could slip them to Quito....
Why do you want a sister? asks Lydia.
Because a sister is nearly as good as a parrot, says Terence.
You might find one in Ecuador, says Tilly.
A sister? asks Terence.
No, a parrot, says Tilly. Now your face has turned red.
It's the Chicken Kung Poo, says Terence.
Kung Pao, says Lydia. Was it too hot for you? Here, have a sip of my water.
Thanks, princess Elsa, says Terence.
In Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf.
Saint Roley has drunk a whole glass of Horchata.
His beak has turned pale.
It strikes me, says Simon, that as bio-ecologists we ought to have made better provision for this bird's diet.
It's okay, says Saint Roley. It was just the vanilla. It tastes lovely at first, and then becomes cloying.
As long as you're keeping it down, says Gaius. We don't want another incident.
I'm keeping it down, says Saint Roley.
In Carl Jr's Green Burrito.
A group of Californian young people are crowding around Sweezus, clamouring for Sea Salt.
Sold the two we had, says Sweezus. The rest's still unwrapped.
But we don't care about wrapping, says one of the young Californian people. Wrapping is bad for the planet.
This wasn't, says Sweezus. It was recycled plastic from the sea.
Okay, says another Californian young person. How's about....?
He is thinking.
How's about you wrap it in little twists of used burger paper?
Yuck, Brendan, says another young Californian person. The salt'd get covered in SAUCE.
You could wash it, says Buzz.
And dry it, says Arthur. Or the salt would stick to the paper....
...resulting in an unreliable prediction, says Sweezus.
Yeeah well, says Brendan. Who cares about that? Just let us have some.
It's a hundred dollars a twist, says Arthur, ripping his burger wrapper into tiny sticky pieces.
By the time he has made seven hundred dollars, it is time (FINALLY) to head to security (AGAIN) before boarding the United Airlines flight to HOUSTON.
O for a black hole through which I could slip them to Quito....
Thursday, April 12, 2018
Memes Ballistic
The Dreamliner lands.
Everyone gets off.
Customs. This can take up to ninety minutes.
What's this? says the customs officer.
Prognosticating Sea Salt, says Sweezus. These are the artisanal eco-wrapped ones. This is the original bag I got from the Great White Teacher.
At least he is honest.
We'll have to look into that, says the customs officer. Stand to one side, please.
What are these? he turns his attention to Arthur.
Scissors, says Arthur.
Beats me how you got away with it, says the customs officer.
Gaius is next. He is waved through, his backpack containing only a spare pair of chinos, green Crocs and a notebook. Not even a pencil.
Maria Palomino is right behind him.
Don't go off, says Maria Palomino. I need to pay the boys for the Sea Salt.
Simon, Tilly and Buzz get through eventually.
And Saint Roley, with nothing to declare.
They meet up. Now what?
Terminal 8, says Simon. We can walk there or take the shuttle.
Wait, says Maria Palomino. I need to find an ATM.
She goes off to find one and withdraws two thousand dollars.
Now where is my beautiful Sea Salt?
Sweezus rocks up, followed by several young Californian people.
They always think it's not sea salt, says Sweezus. What else could it be?
I've paid, says Maria Palomino. May I have my two packets?
The young Californian people whip out their iphones and click.
The Riobamba team heads for the shuttle.
They are now at Terminal 8. Their Houston flight leaves in an hour. Time for a snack.
At LAX there is something for everyone.
Terence, Tilly and Lydia go to Panda Express for Kung Pao Chicken.
Arthur, Sweezus and Buzz go to Carl's Jr Green Burrito for Original Six Dollar Thickburgers.
Gaius and Simon head to Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf.
Saint Roley tags along. But he is not yet ready to eat or drink anything.
Until he sees someone drinking a delicious Horchata, made from rice, cinnamon and vanilla.
Perhaps just a tiny......
No Saint Roley! Don't risk it!
****
Meanwhile Instagram is going ballistic with Sea Salt memes.
Who would have thought that would happen?
Everyone gets off.
Customs. This can take up to ninety minutes.
What's this? says the customs officer.
Prognosticating Sea Salt, says Sweezus. These are the artisanal eco-wrapped ones. This is the original bag I got from the Great White Teacher.
At least he is honest.
We'll have to look into that, says the customs officer. Stand to one side, please.
What are these? he turns his attention to Arthur.
Scissors, says Arthur.
Beats me how you got away with it, says the customs officer.
Gaius is next. He is waved through, his backpack containing only a spare pair of chinos, green Crocs and a notebook. Not even a pencil.
Maria Palomino is right behind him.
Don't go off, says Maria Palomino. I need to pay the boys for the Sea Salt.
Simon, Tilly and Buzz get through eventually.
And Saint Roley, with nothing to declare.
They meet up. Now what?
Terminal 8, says Simon. We can walk there or take the shuttle.
Wait, says Maria Palomino. I need to find an ATM.
She goes off to find one and withdraws two thousand dollars.
Now where is my beautiful Sea Salt?
Sweezus rocks up, followed by several young Californian people.
They always think it's not sea salt, says Sweezus. What else could it be?
I've paid, says Maria Palomino. May I have my two packets?
The young Californian people whip out their iphones and click.
The Riobamba team heads for the shuttle.
They are now at Terminal 8. Their Houston flight leaves in an hour. Time for a snack.
At LAX there is something for everyone.
Terence, Tilly and Lydia go to Panda Express for Kung Pao Chicken.
Arthur, Sweezus and Buzz go to Carl's Jr Green Burrito for Original Six Dollar Thickburgers.
Gaius and Simon head to Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf.
Saint Roley tags along. But he is not yet ready to eat or drink anything.
Until he sees someone drinking a delicious Horchata, made from rice, cinnamon and vanilla.
Perhaps just a tiny......
No Saint Roley! Don't risk it!
****
Meanwhile Instagram is going ballistic with Sea Salt memes.
Who would have thought that would happen?
Wednesday, April 11, 2018
Too Late For A Sister
Sorry, says Sweezus, over the back of his seat, to Simon.
Can he have them back?
Certainly says Simon. Were they malfunctioning?
No, says Sweezus. He ripped them off at the end of the song. He's watching Frozen.
Frozen, says Simon.
He has heard of it. Princesses, Elsa and Anna. A snowman. A blue outfit.
The princess Elsa lets her hair down, says Sweezus, and leaves the frozen regions to rescue her sister. Like, she lets it down with a sweeping gesture. The hair. Kind of like ripping off headphones.
Here, says Simon.
He hands back the noise reducing headphones.
Thanks, says Sweezus. Here, Terence. Head phones. Don't do that again.
I WISH I HAD A SISTER! shouts Terence.
A flight attendant comes running.
Who needs assistance?
A sister, says Sweezus. He wishes he had a sister.
He looks upset, says the flight attendant. Would you like to come for a walk with me, sweetheart?
Terence looks at the flight attendant who has called him a sweetheart. She looks like Princess Elsa!
Yay! says Terence, wriggling out of his seat. He takes the hand of his sister.
They walk away.
What was that about? asks Buzz.
Fuck knows, says Sweezus.
Nothing much happens for a while.
Sweezus shifts into Terence's window seat and watches the last half of Frozen.
Terence is being shown the secrets of the Dreamliner, by Princess Elsa, his sister.
She has a special seat just for her, near a door.
Terence is allowed to sit on it.
His legs poke out of his shorts.
They scratch the seat a little bit.
Never mind darling, says Elsa.
She takes him to see where they get the food from.
It comes out here and goes onto a trolley.
Look at all the hot chocolate. That's to help everyone sleep. It has tryptophan and seratonin in it.
Would you like some?
Terence knew it would be good to have a big sister.
She takes him back to his seat with the first hot chocolate of the evening.
Even before Maria Palomino gets one.
Terence sits next to Sweezus drinking his hot chocolate.
But he doesn't fall asleep.
Could Grandpa Marx get me a sister? asks Terence.
Too late now, says Sweezus.
Terence stands up in his seat and makes faces at Saint Roley.
Saint Roley thinks of his brother, who never had the opportunity to taste Laughing Cow cheese.
And this was a good thing.
The lights dim.
In a few hours they will be landing in LAX.
Can he have them back?
Certainly says Simon. Were they malfunctioning?
No, says Sweezus. He ripped them off at the end of the song. He's watching Frozen.
Frozen, says Simon.
He has heard of it. Princesses, Elsa and Anna. A snowman. A blue outfit.
The princess Elsa lets her hair down, says Sweezus, and leaves the frozen regions to rescue her sister. Like, she lets it down with a sweeping gesture. The hair. Kind of like ripping off headphones.
Here, says Simon.
He hands back the noise reducing headphones.
Thanks, says Sweezus. Here, Terence. Head phones. Don't do that again.
I WISH I HAD A SISTER! shouts Terence.
A flight attendant comes running.
Who needs assistance?
A sister, says Sweezus. He wishes he had a sister.
He looks upset, says the flight attendant. Would you like to come for a walk with me, sweetheart?
Terence looks at the flight attendant who has called him a sweetheart. She looks like Princess Elsa!
Yay! says Terence, wriggling out of his seat. He takes the hand of his sister.
They walk away.
What was that about? asks Buzz.
Fuck knows, says Sweezus.
Nothing much happens for a while.
Sweezus shifts into Terence's window seat and watches the last half of Frozen.
Terence is being shown the secrets of the Dreamliner, by Princess Elsa, his sister.
She has a special seat just for her, near a door.
Terence is allowed to sit on it.
His legs poke out of his shorts.
They scratch the seat a little bit.
Never mind darling, says Elsa.
She takes him to see where they get the food from.
It comes out here and goes onto a trolley.
Look at all the hot chocolate. That's to help everyone sleep. It has tryptophan and seratonin in it.
Would you like some?
Terence knew it would be good to have a big sister.
She takes him back to his seat with the first hot chocolate of the evening.
Even before Maria Palomino gets one.
Terence sits next to Sweezus drinking his hot chocolate.
But he doesn't fall asleep.
Could Grandpa Marx get me a sister? asks Terence.
Too late now, says Sweezus.
Terence stands up in his seat and makes faces at Saint Roley.
Saint Roley thinks of his brother, who never had the opportunity to taste Laughing Cow cheese.
And this was a good thing.
The lights dim.
In a few hours they will be landing in LAX.
Tuesday, April 10, 2018
Followers Of Followers
Gaius returns with Saint Roley.
How is he? asks Sweezus.
All right if we don't mention cheese, says Gaius. Which reminds me....
Blurp! says Saint Roley.
Apologies, says Gaius.
I'm in his seat, says Sweezus.
Don't get up, says Gaius. Saint Roley can sit in your seat by the window. Now.....what was I saying?
About cheese, says Sweezus.
Blurrp! says Saint Roley.
Let it GO-O-O! sings Terence.
Very funny, says Saint Roley.
He sits down by the window. Stares out at the clouds.
Yes, now I remember, says Gaius. I was going to tell you that I've done my bit for the Sea Salt.
Meaning? asks Sweezus.
Meaning I provided some evidence of its fortune-telling ability to Maria Palomino, says Gaius. Of course it wasn't definitive.
Evidence? says Sweezus.
His head is still full of the cool surf breaks that he missed out on in Newcastle.
Gotta go back there.
What was that about evidence?
Gaius gives up and turns towards Arthur on the other side of the aisle.
Arthur!
But Arthur is looking at Lydia's phone.
She is showing him photos.
He has an idea.
But the flight attendants are many clicks ahead of him.
OMG! This Sea Salt is predicting a V sign!
And their faces. Mouths pouting, Ooh!
Flight attendants always look perfect. So they have lots of friends. And lots of followers.
All the friends and the followers and the followers of the followers will all want some Sea Salt.
Meanwhile Gaius is sitting back down.
Okay? asks Simon.
Good news, says Gaius. I have a phone number for Maria Palomino's son, a big cheese in Riobamba.
Bl.....hic! says Saint Roley. (A marked improvement).
And he is? asks Simon.
Pedro Vincente Maldonado, says Gaius. Scientist and father of marsupial frog-keeping children.
Excellent, says Simon. I've heard of this chap Maldonado. Some kind of explorer. Should be useful.
Things fall into place, says Gaius.
Indeed they do, says Simon.
Thud!
What is it?
Terence's noise reducing headphones appear out of nowhere, and fall heavily into his lap.
How is he? asks Sweezus.
All right if we don't mention cheese, says Gaius. Which reminds me....
Blurp! says Saint Roley.
Apologies, says Gaius.
I'm in his seat, says Sweezus.
Don't get up, says Gaius. Saint Roley can sit in your seat by the window. Now.....what was I saying?
About cheese, says Sweezus.
Blurrp! says Saint Roley.
Let it GO-O-O! sings Terence.
Very funny, says Saint Roley.
He sits down by the window. Stares out at the clouds.
Yes, now I remember, says Gaius. I was going to tell you that I've done my bit for the Sea Salt.
Meaning? asks Sweezus.
Meaning I provided some evidence of its fortune-telling ability to Maria Palomino, says Gaius. Of course it wasn't definitive.
Evidence? says Sweezus.
His head is still full of the cool surf breaks that he missed out on in Newcastle.
Gotta go back there.
What was that about evidence?
Gaius gives up and turns towards Arthur on the other side of the aisle.
Arthur!
But Arthur is looking at Lydia's phone.
She is showing him photos.
He has an idea.
But the flight attendants are many clicks ahead of him.
OMG! This Sea Salt is predicting a V sign!
And their faces. Mouths pouting, Ooh!
Flight attendants always look perfect. So they have lots of friends. And lots of followers.
All the friends and the followers and the followers of the followers will all want some Sea Salt.
Meanwhile Gaius is sitting back down.
Okay? asks Simon.
Good news, says Gaius. I have a phone number for Maria Palomino's son, a big cheese in Riobamba.
Bl.....hic! says Saint Roley. (A marked improvement).
And he is? asks Simon.
Pedro Vincente Maldonado, says Gaius. Scientist and father of marsupial frog-keeping children.
Excellent, says Simon. I've heard of this chap Maldonado. Some kind of explorer. Should be useful.
Things fall into place, says Gaius.
Indeed they do, says Simon.
Thud!
What is it?
Terence's noise reducing headphones appear out of nowhere, and fall heavily into his lap.
Monday, April 9, 2018
Point Impossible
The seat beside Terence is empty.
Saint Roley has not yet come back.
Sweezus is in the window seat behind Terence.
How's it going, little buddy?
Terence is wearing the noise reducing headphones and does not turn around.
Sweezus stands up. The seat beside him is empty.
It is Gaius's seat and Gaius is still waiting for Saint Roley, outside the toilet.
Sweezus edges past Simon. and eases his way into the next row, past Buzz.
He sits down in the seat vacated by Saint Roley.
He quickly stands up again. Yerk.
Terence is singing along with a movie called Frozen.
Let it GO-O-O! Al least Terence looks happy.
Shit, says Sweezus.
Should've warned you, says Buzz.
You should've, says Sweezus.
Yeah. The flight attendant hasn't been round to pick up the cushion, says Buzz.
Sweezus chucks the cushion into the aisle.
She'll come now.
Your bird ate Laughing Cow cheese, says Buzz. He was okay until he wasn't. Then it was like a volcano!
He only likes molluscs, says Sweezus. But he'll try anything. What did you have?
Tuna poke bowl, says Buzz.
I nearly had that, says Sweezus. But I chose the roast chicken, and regretted it.
Yeah, says Buzz. Tuna poke bowl was awesome.
What was in it?
Umm.....
To better remember, Buzz tries to bring up a burp. He succeeds easily.
Cubes of sushi grade tuna, rice vinegar, burrp, sesame oil, red pepper flakes, burrp, green onions, sesame seeds and brown rice, says Buzz.
I like how you did that, says Sweezus. You a surfer?
Newcastle boy, says Buzz, Of course I'm a surfer. We've got twenty nine surf breaks.
No shit, says Sweezus.
Yep, says Buzz. The Wedge, The Spit, The Indot, The Reef, Nobby's Bank, Point Impossible, Pogo's, the Bombie, Sailors Rock, Point X.....
The flight attendant comes by to pick up the soiled cushion.
Sorry, guys, says the flight attendant. I've been so busy. Oh! What's this on it?
Cheese vomit and sea salt, says Sweezus.
The flight attendant hurries away.
In the galley she asks a colleague to help her separate the cheese vomit from the Sea Salt.
It's meant to be able to predict the future, she says to her colleague.
Cheese vomit? Really?
No, the Sea Salt.
Click. They Instagram the Sea Salt before scraping it off.
Saint Roley has not yet come back.
Sweezus is in the window seat behind Terence.
How's it going, little buddy?
Terence is wearing the noise reducing headphones and does not turn around.
Sweezus stands up. The seat beside him is empty.
It is Gaius's seat and Gaius is still waiting for Saint Roley, outside the toilet.
Sweezus edges past Simon. and eases his way into the next row, past Buzz.
He sits down in the seat vacated by Saint Roley.
He quickly stands up again. Yerk.
Terence is singing along with a movie called Frozen.
Let it GO-O-O! Al least Terence looks happy.
Shit, says Sweezus.
Should've warned you, says Buzz.
You should've, says Sweezus.
Yeah. The flight attendant hasn't been round to pick up the cushion, says Buzz.
Sweezus chucks the cushion into the aisle.
She'll come now.
Your bird ate Laughing Cow cheese, says Buzz. He was okay until he wasn't. Then it was like a volcano!
He only likes molluscs, says Sweezus. But he'll try anything. What did you have?
Tuna poke bowl, says Buzz.
I nearly had that, says Sweezus. But I chose the roast chicken, and regretted it.
Yeah, says Buzz. Tuna poke bowl was awesome.
What was in it?
Umm.....
To better remember, Buzz tries to bring up a burp. He succeeds easily.
Cubes of sushi grade tuna, rice vinegar, burrp, sesame oil, red pepper flakes, burrp, green onions, sesame seeds and brown rice, says Buzz.
I like how you did that, says Sweezus. You a surfer?
Newcastle boy, says Buzz, Of course I'm a surfer. We've got twenty nine surf breaks.
No shit, says Sweezus.
Yep, says Buzz. The Wedge, The Spit, The Indot, The Reef, Nobby's Bank, Point Impossible, Pogo's, the Bombie, Sailors Rock, Point X.....
The flight attendant comes by to pick up the soiled cushion.
Sorry, guys, says the flight attendant. I've been so busy. Oh! What's this on it?
Cheese vomit and sea salt, says Sweezus.
The flight attendant hurries away.
In the galley she asks a colleague to help her separate the cheese vomit from the Sea Salt.
It's meant to be able to predict the future, she says to her colleague.
Cheese vomit? Really?
No, the Sea Salt.
Click. They Instagram the Sea Salt before scraping it off.
Sunday, April 8, 2018
All Round Big Cheese
Maria Palomino has salt on her fingers.
Why not try it? Who was that person who advised her not to consume it?
What would he know?
She licks a finger.
Yes, it tastes of sea salt.
She grimaces.
She hails a flight attendant and orders a cup of bespoke herbal tea.
She is drinking it when Gaius walks past on his way to the toilet.
He is escorting Saint Roley who ought not to have eaten the Laughing Cow cheese.
It was a far cry from a mollusc.
Saint Roley goes into the toilet, and locks the door.
Gurgling noises ensue. And the tap running.
Gaius strolls back to where Maria Palomino is relaxing.
You are the purchaser of the Sea Salt, if I'm not mistaken, says Gaius.
I am, says Maria Palomino. I have just tested a sample. It seems to be genuine sea salt.
I can attest to that, madam, says Gaius. Arthur and Sweezus are trustworthy colleagues of mine.
They seem like good types, says Maria Palomino.
While I can't attest to its prognosticating qualities, says Gaius, I do have evidence that supports it.
How wonderful, says Maria Palomino. What is it?
When a small quantity was sprinkled on my trousers, says Gaius, it formed the letter E. Or the letter R, I have now forgotten. It hardly matters, as E stands for Ecuador and R for Riobamba.
And that's where you're going? asks Maria Palomino. Riobamba?
Yes, says Gaius. But I did not know that then.
Then how did you take it as supporting evidence? asks Maria Palomino.
Because I was hoping to be invited to join Dr Clulow on his trip to Riobamba to assist in the translocation of endangered marsupial frogs, as well as further test the results of his study on the use of pool salt to reduce chitridiomycosis in the Green and Golden Bell Frog, says Gaius.
Maria Palomino looks stunned.
Forgive me for the excess information, says Gaius.
Not at all, says Maria Palomino. Would I be right in assuming you refer to the Marsupial Tree Frog, or Riobamba Pouched Frog, a member of the Hemifractidae family?
Indeed you would, madam, says Gaius. Would I be right in assuming you know a great deal about frogs?
I have relatives in Riobamba, says Maria Palomino. My son Pedro and his family. The children keep Riobamba Pouched Frogs as pets. Would you like Pedro's phone number?
I should appreciate it, says Gaius.
Saint Roley has left the toilet and is making his way back down the plane.
He draws level with Gaius.
Here you are, says Maria Palomino. Keep trying, if Pedro doesn't answer. He's a busy man. A scientist, astronomer, mathematician, topographer and geographer, and all round big cheese.
Big cheese.
Saint Roley turns pale and hops back to the toilet.
Why not try it? Who was that person who advised her not to consume it?
What would he know?
She licks a finger.
Yes, it tastes of sea salt.
She grimaces.
She hails a flight attendant and orders a cup of bespoke herbal tea.
She is drinking it when Gaius walks past on his way to the toilet.
He is escorting Saint Roley who ought not to have eaten the Laughing Cow cheese.
It was a far cry from a mollusc.
Saint Roley goes into the toilet, and locks the door.
Gurgling noises ensue. And the tap running.
Gaius strolls back to where Maria Palomino is relaxing.
You are the purchaser of the Sea Salt, if I'm not mistaken, says Gaius.
I am, says Maria Palomino. I have just tested a sample. It seems to be genuine sea salt.
I can attest to that, madam, says Gaius. Arthur and Sweezus are trustworthy colleagues of mine.
They seem like good types, says Maria Palomino.
While I can't attest to its prognosticating qualities, says Gaius, I do have evidence that supports it.
How wonderful, says Maria Palomino. What is it?
When a small quantity was sprinkled on my trousers, says Gaius, it formed the letter E. Or the letter R, I have now forgotten. It hardly matters, as E stands for Ecuador and R for Riobamba.
And that's where you're going? asks Maria Palomino. Riobamba?
Yes, says Gaius. But I did not know that then.
Then how did you take it as supporting evidence? asks Maria Palomino.
Because I was hoping to be invited to join Dr Clulow on his trip to Riobamba to assist in the translocation of endangered marsupial frogs, as well as further test the results of his study on the use of pool salt to reduce chitridiomycosis in the Green and Golden Bell Frog, says Gaius.
Maria Palomino looks stunned.
Forgive me for the excess information, says Gaius.
Not at all, says Maria Palomino. Would I be right in assuming you refer to the Marsupial Tree Frog, or Riobamba Pouched Frog, a member of the Hemifractidae family?
Indeed you would, madam, says Gaius. Would I be right in assuming you know a great deal about frogs?
I have relatives in Riobamba, says Maria Palomino. My son Pedro and his family. The children keep Riobamba Pouched Frogs as pets. Would you like Pedro's phone number?
I should appreciate it, says Gaius.
Saint Roley has left the toilet and is making his way back down the plane.
He draws level with Gaius.
Here you are, says Maria Palomino. Keep trying, if Pedro doesn't answer. He's a busy man. A scientist, astronomer, mathematician, topographer and geographer, and all round big cheese.
Big cheese.
Saint Roley turns pale and hops back to the toilet.
Saturday, April 7, 2018
Interpretations Of V
Sweezus chucks a soy bean at Arthur to get his attention.
Arthur looks round.
Sweezus wants him! Arthur offers the scissors to Lydia.
Hold these, says Arthur.
No way, says Lydia. I'll get thrown off the plane.
Arthur stands up with the scissors, and edges past Lydia and Tilly.
Now he's in the aisle, directly behind Maria Palomino.
She turns round.
If I were you, says Maria Palomino, I'd put those scissors in my pocket.
Just in time. A flight attendant walks past.
Discuss my offer, says Maria Palomino.
She offered us a thousand for one of the hessian wrapped Sea Salts, says Sweezus.
Take it, says Arthur.
But we've only got two with swan eyes, says Sweezus.
You have two, says Maria Palomino. I'll take both, for one thousand eight hundred.
Two thousand five hundred for the pair, says Arthur.
Sweezus agrees that she ought to pay more for the pair.
Maria Palomino has little choice if she wants both the Sea Salts.
Will you take a cheque? asks Maria Palomino.
Cash only, says Arthur.
Then here is a deposit, says Maria Palomino.
She hands Sweezus five hundred Australian dollars in cash.
For this I would like to see the product, says Maria Palomino.
Up there, says Sweezus, pointing at the overhead locker. Get one out, Arthur.
Arthur opens the overhead locker.
A package falls out.
The ecofriendly string has unravelled and the swan eye has slipped below the confines of the hole.
It sees nothing.
Sea Salt falls onto the cabin floor of the Dreamliner, in no particular configuration.
Maria Palomino bends down to retrieve the salt particles.
May I help you? asks Simon, who has an aisle seat and who has been watching.
Thank you, says Maria Palomino. Strictly speaking I shouldn't do this. The salt's not yet mine.
If it becomes yours, I advise you not to consume it, says Simon. That's a PVC lining.
What's going on? asks Gaius.
Our first sale, says Arthur.
Well done! says Gaius.
Maria Palomino stands up. She hands Arthur the hessian bag, the lining and most of the sea salt.
I'll be in touch at the end of the flight, says Maria Palomino.
She walks unsteadily back to her seat in Premium Economy, due to more turbulence.
The particles of Sea Salt on the cabin floor jiggle into a configuration.
V
Which doesn't look good, in one interpretation.
But does look quite good in another.
Arthur looks round.
Sweezus wants him! Arthur offers the scissors to Lydia.
Hold these, says Arthur.
No way, says Lydia. I'll get thrown off the plane.
Arthur stands up with the scissors, and edges past Lydia and Tilly.
Now he's in the aisle, directly behind Maria Palomino.
She turns round.
If I were you, says Maria Palomino, I'd put those scissors in my pocket.
Just in time. A flight attendant walks past.
Discuss my offer, says Maria Palomino.
She offered us a thousand for one of the hessian wrapped Sea Salts, says Sweezus.
Take it, says Arthur.
But we've only got two with swan eyes, says Sweezus.
You have two, says Maria Palomino. I'll take both, for one thousand eight hundred.
Two thousand five hundred for the pair, says Arthur.
Sweezus agrees that she ought to pay more for the pair.
Maria Palomino has little choice if she wants both the Sea Salts.
Will you take a cheque? asks Maria Palomino.
Cash only, says Arthur.
Then here is a deposit, says Maria Palomino.
She hands Sweezus five hundred Australian dollars in cash.
For this I would like to see the product, says Maria Palomino.
Up there, says Sweezus, pointing at the overhead locker. Get one out, Arthur.
Arthur opens the overhead locker.
A package falls out.
The ecofriendly string has unravelled and the swan eye has slipped below the confines of the hole.
It sees nothing.
Sea Salt falls onto the cabin floor of the Dreamliner, in no particular configuration.
Maria Palomino bends down to retrieve the salt particles.
May I help you? asks Simon, who has an aisle seat and who has been watching.
Thank you, says Maria Palomino. Strictly speaking I shouldn't do this. The salt's not yet mine.
If it becomes yours, I advise you not to consume it, says Simon. That's a PVC lining.
What's going on? asks Gaius.
Our first sale, says Arthur.
Well done! says Gaius.
Maria Palomino stands up. She hands Arthur the hessian bag, the lining and most of the sea salt.
I'll be in touch at the end of the flight, says Maria Palomino.
She walks unsteadily back to her seat in Premium Economy, due to more turbulence.
The particles of Sea Salt on the cabin floor jiggle into a configuration.
V
Which doesn't look good, in one interpretation.
But does look quite good in another.
Friday, April 6, 2018
Pros And Cons Of Bullfighting
Finally. Dreamliner. A late lunch.
In economy they serve dishes that promote hydration, such as cucumber, and leafy green vegetables.
Anything red? asks Terence.
Strawberries, red rice, cherry crumble, says the flight attendant.
Terence picks all three of those.
Saint Roley tries a mini Laughing Cow cheese.
Buzz orders a tuna poke salad.
Sweezus has had time to stick the two Sea Salt bags back in his back pack. But he hasn't done it.
Roast chicken for you? asks the flight attendant.
Yeah, okay, says Sweezus.
I knew it, says the flight attendant.
Sweezus is taken aback. How? Does he look that conventional?
Would you like me to place those items in the overhead locker? asks the flight attendant.
Thanks, says Sweezus.
She takes the small hessian bags. These are cute. Where did you get them?
We make them, says Sweezus.
What's in them? she asks.
Prognosticating Sea Salt, says Gaius, who is sitting next to Sweezus, already eating roast chicken.
No kidding? says the flight attendant. Wouldn't want to spill any.
Certainly not, says Gaius. Up here anything might happen. Best not to know in advance.
I didn't mean that, says the flight attendant. But... could it?
The chicken? says Sweezus,
Yes, of course, says the flight attendant, handing him the plastic container of roast chicken, red rice and soy beans with Mediterranean vegetables.
Would you like organic kombucha with that? The natural probiotics help the digestion.
No. Boston Lager, says Sweezus.
The flight attendant places the two hessian bags in the overhead locker and hands Sweezus a lager.
Sweezus leans back, remembering how Unni gave them kombucha and kimchi because Farky had ruined his teeth.
Sweezus pokes at the roast chicken, thinking of Farky.
If you don't want that......says Gaius.
No, I'll eat it.
Meanwhile in Premium Economy the woman who is upping her offer on the Sea Salt has finished her lunch of marinated beef, citrus, cumin and zucchini salad, with bespoke herbal tea. Lemon verbena.
She waits for her tray to be taken then heads for the toilet.
After which she makes her way back to economy.
It's annoying that Sweezus has a window seat. To speak to him she has to talk over Simon and Gaius.
They are discussing the pros and cons of bullfighting.
There is bullfighting in Riobamba in April.
I should introduce myself, says the woman to Sweezus. My name is Maria Palomino.
Sweezus, says Sweezus. But our product's not for sale. Not yet anyway.
I'm upping my offer, says Maria Palomino
How much? asks Sweezus.
A thousand, says Maria Palomino.
A thousand.
Sweezus wishes he'd sat next to Arthur, who is one row forward and three seats in, across the aisle.
They should discuss this.
In economy they serve dishes that promote hydration, such as cucumber, and leafy green vegetables.
Anything red? asks Terence.
Strawberries, red rice, cherry crumble, says the flight attendant.
Terence picks all three of those.
Saint Roley tries a mini Laughing Cow cheese.
Buzz orders a tuna poke salad.
Sweezus has had time to stick the two Sea Salt bags back in his back pack. But he hasn't done it.
Roast chicken for you? asks the flight attendant.
Yeah, okay, says Sweezus.
I knew it, says the flight attendant.
Sweezus is taken aback. How? Does he look that conventional?
Would you like me to place those items in the overhead locker? asks the flight attendant.
Thanks, says Sweezus.
She takes the small hessian bags. These are cute. Where did you get them?
We make them, says Sweezus.
What's in them? she asks.
Prognosticating Sea Salt, says Gaius, who is sitting next to Sweezus, already eating roast chicken.
No kidding? says the flight attendant. Wouldn't want to spill any.
Certainly not, says Gaius. Up here anything might happen. Best not to know in advance.
I didn't mean that, says the flight attendant. But... could it?
The chicken? says Sweezus,
Yes, of course, says the flight attendant, handing him the plastic container of roast chicken, red rice and soy beans with Mediterranean vegetables.
Would you like organic kombucha with that? The natural probiotics help the digestion.
No. Boston Lager, says Sweezus.
The flight attendant places the two hessian bags in the overhead locker and hands Sweezus a lager.
Sweezus leans back, remembering how Unni gave them kombucha and kimchi because Farky had ruined his teeth.
Sweezus pokes at the roast chicken, thinking of Farky.
If you don't want that......says Gaius.
No, I'll eat it.
Meanwhile in Premium Economy the woman who is upping her offer on the Sea Salt has finished her lunch of marinated beef, citrus, cumin and zucchini salad, with bespoke herbal tea. Lemon verbena.
She waits for her tray to be taken then heads for the toilet.
After which she makes her way back to economy.
It's annoying that Sweezus has a window seat. To speak to him she has to talk over Simon and Gaius.
They are discussing the pros and cons of bullfighting.
There is bullfighting in Riobamba in April.
I should introduce myself, says the woman to Sweezus. My name is Maria Palomino.
Sweezus, says Sweezus. But our product's not for sale. Not yet anyway.
I'm upping my offer, says Maria Palomino
How much? asks Sweezus.
A thousand, says Maria Palomino.
A thousand.
Sweezus wishes he'd sat next to Arthur, who is one row forward and three seats in, across the aisle.
They should discuss this.
Thursday, April 5, 2018
Turbulence
Sweezus hasn't noticed the woman. Why would he?
He is staring at clouds.
Beside him, Simon and Gaius are speaking of the mega-pest hybrid caterpillar threatening global food security.
A hessian bag whirrs through the air and drops in his lap.
It's from Arthur.
It had narrowly missed the woman who was stooping to speak to Saint Roley.
I was hoping to see you, she says to Saint Roley. I'm upping my offer.
Saint Roley wonders what it means to be upping your offer.
He nudges Terence, who is still wearing the noise reducing head phones.
Terence lifts out one of the ear pips.
What?
Hello, says the woman. Who is in charge of the Sea Salt?
Not me, says Terence.
She is still leaning over. She looms over Buzz.
Buzz doesn't feel comfortable, under her dangling necklace. He stands up to go to the toilet.
Tilly, on the other side of the aisle, takes advantage.
She decorates her Minecraft living room with the Block of the Week, a redstone lamp. Ha! See how he likes THAT in his dungeon.
The woman sits down in Buzz's seat, and looks over at Tilly. Are you with them?
Tilly isn't listening. She is gloating.
She's with us, says Lydia. We're all in charge of the Sea Salt.
But who actually has it? asks the woman.
He does, says Lydia, pointing across the aisle and one row back, at Sweezus.
Sweezus is holding a bag in each hand. One weighs more than the other.
Something to be fixed up later.
And another thing, what happens now they've run out of swan eyes?
This whole Sea Salt entrepreneurial thing is one long nightmare.
May I see one? asks the woman. My name's on your list. I have one on order.
Please go to your seat ma'm, says a flight attendant. We're about to experience some turbulence.
All right. I'll go. But I'll be back, says the woman.
Turbulence. That's fortunate. But lunch may be delayed.
Buzz returns from the toilet.
There's a redstone lamp in his dungeon.
His dungeon looks homely.
Which reminds him of lunch. When is it?
But lunch is delayed.
He is staring at clouds.
Beside him, Simon and Gaius are speaking of the mega-pest hybrid caterpillar threatening global food security.
A hessian bag whirrs through the air and drops in his lap.
It's from Arthur.
It had narrowly missed the woman who was stooping to speak to Saint Roley.
I was hoping to see you, she says to Saint Roley. I'm upping my offer.
Saint Roley wonders what it means to be upping your offer.
He nudges Terence, who is still wearing the noise reducing head phones.
Terence lifts out one of the ear pips.
What?
Hello, says the woman. Who is in charge of the Sea Salt?
Not me, says Terence.
She is still leaning over. She looms over Buzz.
Buzz doesn't feel comfortable, under her dangling necklace. He stands up to go to the toilet.
Tilly, on the other side of the aisle, takes advantage.
She decorates her Minecraft living room with the Block of the Week, a redstone lamp. Ha! See how he likes THAT in his dungeon.
The woman sits down in Buzz's seat, and looks over at Tilly. Are you with them?
Tilly isn't listening. She is gloating.
She's with us, says Lydia. We're all in charge of the Sea Salt.
But who actually has it? asks the woman.
He does, says Lydia, pointing across the aisle and one row back, at Sweezus.
Sweezus is holding a bag in each hand. One weighs more than the other.
Something to be fixed up later.
And another thing, what happens now they've run out of swan eyes?
This whole Sea Salt entrepreneurial thing is one long nightmare.
May I see one? asks the woman. My name's on your list. I have one on order.
Please go to your seat ma'm, says a flight attendant. We're about to experience some turbulence.
All right. I'll go. But I'll be back, says the woman.
Turbulence. That's fortunate. But lunch may be delayed.
Buzz returns from the toilet.
There's a redstone lamp in his dungeon.
His dungeon looks homely.
Which reminds him of lunch. When is it?
But lunch is delayed.
Wednesday, April 4, 2018
So Much For Evolution
I'm not stupid, says Saint Roley. I took down her details.
He shows Sweezus a scrap of torn paper.
Yeah, right, says Sweezus. Did you write this?
Yes, says Saint Roley. It's shorthand. Gaius can read it.
Hope so, says Sweezus. He hands the paper to Gaius.
Gaius has been talking to Simon about reverse speciation.
He stops.
What's this?
Can you read it?
Gaius squints at the shorthand.
0+ ^
Hmm. A female says Gaius. Travelling to the northern hemisphere. That's the gist of it
Brilliant, says Sweezus. A bird, is she?
Not necessarily says Gaius.
Come on guys, says Lydia. We're boarding.
They leave the cafe and head for the departure lounge.
They stand in a queue.
.......
The Boeing 787 Dreamliner takes off for LA.
Everything's cool.
Terence has his own seat, and noise reducing headphones.
He sits next to Saint Roley, who rests on an enhanced pillow, under which is a blanket.
Beside Saint Roley is Buzz, who is playing Minecraft with Tilly, who has an aisle seat.
Are you in my LIVING ROOM! says Tilly. Did you build that huge concrete THING?
It's my dungeon, says Buzz. And that's gravel.
Tilly sighs. The flight's too long already.
Lydia is sitting next to Arthur, who is openly using the scissors.
What if they see you? asks Lydia.
I'll say I've got permission, says Arthur.
Good luck with that, scoffs Lydia. Did you find the other swan eye?
Yes, says Arthur. This is it.
Lydia stares at the swan eye. The swan eye stares back without blinking.
Sweezus is sitting next to Gaius who is talking to Simon.
Sweezus learns something.
It appears reverse speciation is more common than we thought.
Two species become one. So much for Darwinian evolution. Reverse speciation has been observed in ravens, mosquitoes, butterflies, sunflowers, oaks, bears, wolves and Darwin's finches.
Those guys would know something like that.
Boring. Why isn't he sitting next to Arthur?
What to do. He stares out of the window.
And imagines mosquitoes and butterflies, and a few Darwin's finches, threading the clouds.
Free to move about the aircraft, a woman walks up and down the aisles.
She is searching for the makers of that divinely packaged Prognosticating Sea Salt.
At last she sees the head of Saint Roley, which is unlike the heads of other passengers.
She leans across Buzz and taps Saint Roley.
She leans across Buzz and taps Saint Roley.
Hello, little messenger!
Krvee!
Tuesday, April 3, 2018
Lucky With Scissors
Saint Roley flies through the International Terminal in search of the others.
They're at the security check point.
Simon goes through, with his pool salt.
No problems for Simon.
Next Lydia, Tilly and Buzz, followed by Gaius and Sweezus.
Then Terence.
Beep.
But they let Terence through, because Terence made his own beep noise.
Last is Arthur, who has not yet determined what to do with the scissors.
Saint Roley lands on the conveyor belt, directly in front of the scanner.
What's this? says the guard in charge of the scanner.
Arthur drops the scissors.
Sorry! says Saint Roley. These are my friends. This is their most important possession. They lost it.
Okay, says the guard. Send it through.
Arthur kicks the scissors along the floor beside the conveyor belt.
All the guards are either observing Saint Roley, or the hessian bag with the swan eye.
Going to need to frisk you, says one guard.
No worries, says Saint Roley.
And run a wand over your feathers, says another.
Fine, says Saint Roley.
And the contents of your hessian bag, says a third.
Go ahead, ma'am, says Saint Roley.
No one is looking at Arthur. Arthur waits.
One more subtle foot movement should do it.
Now he walks though the metal detector. No beeps for Arthur.
You're good to go, smiles the guard. So's your bird and this bag of harmless substance.
Thanks, says Arthur, giving her his most charming blue look.
The guard wishes everyone was as personable as Arthur, and his avian companion.
Arthur walks through to join the others, and pick up his back pack.
Then he bends down to pick up the scissors.
Don't you try this. Arthur is lucky.
The team heads for a café. They have an hour before take off.
Well done, Saint Roley, says Gaius.
I could have sold it, says Saint Roley, but I didn't.
How much for? asks Sweezus.
A lady on the train offered me fifty dollars, says Saint Roley.
I knew you were stupid, says Terence.
They're at the security check point.
Simon goes through, with his pool salt.
No problems for Simon.
Next Lydia, Tilly and Buzz, followed by Gaius and Sweezus.
Then Terence.
Beep.
But they let Terence through, because Terence made his own beep noise.
Last is Arthur, who has not yet determined what to do with the scissors.
Saint Roley lands on the conveyor belt, directly in front of the scanner.
What's this? says the guard in charge of the scanner.
Arthur drops the scissors.
Sorry! says Saint Roley. These are my friends. This is their most important possession. They lost it.
Okay, says the guard. Send it through.
Arthur kicks the scissors along the floor beside the conveyor belt.
All the guards are either observing Saint Roley, or the hessian bag with the swan eye.
Going to need to frisk you, says one guard.
No worries, says Saint Roley.
And run a wand over your feathers, says another.
Fine, says Saint Roley.
And the contents of your hessian bag, says a third.
Go ahead, ma'am, says Saint Roley.
No one is looking at Arthur. Arthur waits.
One more subtle foot movement should do it.
Now he walks though the metal detector. No beeps for Arthur.
You're good to go, smiles the guard. So's your bird and this bag of harmless substance.
Thanks, says Arthur, giving her his most charming blue look.
The guard wishes everyone was as personable as Arthur, and his avian companion.
Arthur walks through to join the others, and pick up his back pack.
Then he bends down to pick up the scissors.
Don't you try this. Arthur is lucky.
The team heads for a café. They have an hour before take off.
Well done, Saint Roley, says Gaius.
I could have sold it, says Saint Roley, but I didn't.
How much for? asks Sweezus.
A lady on the train offered me fifty dollars, says Saint Roley.
I knew you were stupid, says Terence.
Monday, April 2, 2018
Fortuitous Maybe
Where is it? asks Sweezus.
I don't know, says Terence.
You do know, says Sweezus. You left it behind on the train.
You said I could hold it till we got to Central Station, says Terence.
He has just thought of this. Sweezus DID say it. So it's his fault.
Shit, says Sweezus.
What? says Arthur.
Prototype's been left on the train.
Too bad, says Arthur.
I'll fly back and get it, says Saint Roley.
The train to the airport arrives at Platform 23 in thirty seconds.
No, don't, says Sweezus.
But Saint Roley flies off, determined to be helpful.
He flutters through the concourse, and out onto the platform where the Newcastle train is due to leave in five minutes.
He finds the carriage the Riobamba team sat in.
He alights on the seat where Terence had left the hessian bag with the swan's eye glaring through it.
Saint Roley grabs the hessian bag by the ecofriendly twine.
Wait! says a cleaner.
It's mine! says Saint Roley.
You shouldn't be on the train, say the cleaner, and that is lost property. Leave it with me.
Saint Roley hovers in the air above the cleaner.
Should he obey?
The cleaner is at eye level with the swan's eye.
There is something about it. What's it telling him?
The comma at the heart of the eye starts whirring. Wurrrrrh.
The eye whirring stops.
Go then, says the cleaner. Lost property is a head fuck. I'd have to fill in a form.....
Marvellous. Not having to fill in a form is it's own reward.
And the good cleaner will soon receive another. A two dollar coin on the floor.
Fortuitous? Maybe.
Saint Roley flies back through the concourse, but the airport train has left Platform 23.
He has to wait for the next one.
Not long.
Now Saint Roley is on the train to the airport, clutching the hessian bag
Your luggage? smiles a woman with a large suitcase.
Prognosticating Sea Salt, says Saint Roley. This is the only bag of it in the world.
You don't say, says the woman. What does it do exactly?
That is debatable, says Saint Roley.
I don't know, says Terence.
You do know, says Sweezus. You left it behind on the train.
You said I could hold it till we got to Central Station, says Terence.
He has just thought of this. Sweezus DID say it. So it's his fault.
Shit, says Sweezus.
What? says Arthur.
Prototype's been left on the train.
Too bad, says Arthur.
I'll fly back and get it, says Saint Roley.
The train to the airport arrives at Platform 23 in thirty seconds.
No, don't, says Sweezus.
But Saint Roley flies off, determined to be helpful.
He flutters through the concourse, and out onto the platform where the Newcastle train is due to leave in five minutes.
He finds the carriage the Riobamba team sat in.
He alights on the seat where Terence had left the hessian bag with the swan's eye glaring through it.
Saint Roley grabs the hessian bag by the ecofriendly twine.
Wait! says a cleaner.
It's mine! says Saint Roley.
You shouldn't be on the train, say the cleaner, and that is lost property. Leave it with me.
Saint Roley hovers in the air above the cleaner.
Should he obey?
The cleaner is at eye level with the swan's eye.
There is something about it. What's it telling him?
The comma at the heart of the eye starts whirring. Wurrrrrh.
The eye whirring stops.
Go then, says the cleaner. Lost property is a head fuck. I'd have to fill in a form.....
Marvellous. Not having to fill in a form is it's own reward.
And the good cleaner will soon receive another. A two dollar coin on the floor.
Fortuitous? Maybe.
Saint Roley flies back through the concourse, but the airport train has left Platform 23.
He has to wait for the next one.
Not long.
Now Saint Roley is on the train to the airport, clutching the hessian bag
Your luggage? smiles a woman with a large suitcase.
Prognosticating Sea Salt, says Saint Roley. This is the only bag of it in the world.
You don't say, says the woman. What does it do exactly?
That is debatable, says Saint Roley.
Sunday, April 1, 2018
Trustworthy Yah!
Can I mind it? asks Terence.
No, says Sweezus. We've only got one.
But you can make more, says Tilly.
Only one more like that, says Arthur.
Yeah, says Sweezus. We've only got two eyes. After that, it's just swan sides.
Won't look as good, says Tilly. Because the eye is what makes it look trustworthy.
So can I have it? asks Terence.
No, says Sweezus.
But it's trustworthy, says Terence. And I'd be in a good mood.
You can hold it until we get to Central Station, says Sweezus. Sit here next to me. Move up, Arthur.
Arthur prefers to go and sit next to Tilly.
But Buzz is sitting there.
Arthur sits down next to Saint Roley.
Buzz and Tilly are opposite.
Buzz looks up from his game.
It's the first time he has looked properly at Arthur.
Hi.
Hi.
Buzz continues playing.
Don't mind him, says Tilly. Lets talk about how you can get more birds' eyes. Where did you get the originals?
Retrieved from the sea, says Arthur. Our original idea was to use any old plastic. The swan was fortuitous.
Any old plastic would be more plentiful, says Tilly.
Yes, agrees Arthur.
Meanwhile Terence is sitting next to Sweezus, holding the prototype.
The swan eye looks out through the hole.
Terence stares back at the swan eye.
It's white and black, with an eyeball like a comma.
The comma starts to whizz like a windmill.
Wah! cries Terence.
What's up little buddy?
Nothing says Terence. I sat on a pin.
But he hasn't sat on a pin. Sweezus makes him stand up for a minute. No pin.
The train stops at Central.
Everyone gets off.
Come on! says Simon. Platform 23!
Simon, Gaius, Sweezus, Arthur, Lydia, Tilly, Buzz, Saint Roley and Terence all race through the concourse, to wait for the train to the airport on Platform 23. The next train is one minute away.
Terence remembers that he hasn't brought the hessian bag with the swan eye.
It must be still back on the train.
Yah! Stupid swan eye. He KNEW it wouldn't be trustworthy.
No, says Sweezus. We've only got one.
But you can make more, says Tilly.
Only one more like that, says Arthur.
Yeah, says Sweezus. We've only got two eyes. After that, it's just swan sides.
Won't look as good, says Tilly. Because the eye is what makes it look trustworthy.
So can I have it? asks Terence.
No, says Sweezus.
But it's trustworthy, says Terence. And I'd be in a good mood.
You can hold it until we get to Central Station, says Sweezus. Sit here next to me. Move up, Arthur.
Arthur prefers to go and sit next to Tilly.
But Buzz is sitting there.
Arthur sits down next to Saint Roley.
Buzz and Tilly are opposite.
Buzz looks up from his game.
It's the first time he has looked properly at Arthur.
Hi.
Hi.
Buzz continues playing.
Don't mind him, says Tilly. Lets talk about how you can get more birds' eyes. Where did you get the originals?
Retrieved from the sea, says Arthur. Our original idea was to use any old plastic. The swan was fortuitous.
Any old plastic would be more plentiful, says Tilly.
Yes, agrees Arthur.
Meanwhile Terence is sitting next to Sweezus, holding the prototype.
The swan eye looks out through the hole.
Terence stares back at the swan eye.
It's white and black, with an eyeball like a comma.
The comma starts to whizz like a windmill.
Wah! cries Terence.
What's up little buddy?
Nothing says Terence. I sat on a pin.
But he hasn't sat on a pin. Sweezus makes him stand up for a minute. No pin.
The train stops at Central.
Everyone gets off.
Come on! says Simon. Platform 23!
Simon, Gaius, Sweezus, Arthur, Lydia, Tilly, Buzz, Saint Roley and Terence all race through the concourse, to wait for the train to the airport on Platform 23. The next train is one minute away.
Terence remembers that he hasn't brought the hessian bag with the swan eye.
It must be still back on the train.
Yah! Stupid swan eye. He KNEW it wouldn't be trustworthy.
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