First World Problems

The bus empties.

Right, says Simon. I'm heading straight to Chimborazo University. Who's coming?

I suppose we should come, says Tilly.

You should, says Simon. The sooner we get this project started the better. Gaius, have you booked a hotel?

No, says Gaius. Arthur will do it.

Sure, says Arthur. I'll do it.

Arthur heads off, perhaps to find a hotel.

Sweezus seems to have been left in charge of Terence and Saint Roley.

Let's look for my parrot, says Terence.

There's one, says Sweezus.

That's a pigeon, says Saint Roley.

It might know a parrot, says Terence.

He follows the pigeon, which stops at a civic fountain outside a pink building with flags.

Saint Roley thinks Sweezus looks like he needs cheering up.

Why don't you make a poem? says Saint Roley. It did wonders for me.

I'm more of a prose guy, says Sweezus.

Prose is good, says Saint Roley. Speak your trouble.

I'm only here because Gaius needs Arthur, says Sweezus.

Is that IT? asks Saint Roley. First world problem.

Sweezus has to agree that it is a first world problem.

Think of the Andean pouched frogs, says Saint Roley. Think of our mission.

A cry comes from the fountain. Terence has fallen in.

A man has rushed out of the pink building, shouting something in Spanish.

........!

(not dots, proper Spanish)

Sweezus is about to go over and rescue Terence when his phone rings. It's Arthur.

Devil's Nose, says Arthur. You and me are booked on the train. Meet me at the station.

Cool. Where's the station?

But Arthur's phone has gone dead.

The man from the pink building is remonstrating with Terence.

Terence is pretending he doesn't understand.

Sorry, says Sweezus. Did he do something wrong?

YES! He shouted! says Terence. He said I was under-tended.

Not him, says Sweezus. You.

So he does understand Spanish! says the man from the pink building.

He ought to, says Sweezus. He's from Barcelona. But I don't. What's under-tended?

I didn't say that, says the man. I said unattended. In Spanish.

I get it, says Sweezus. But he's really with me. We're here on a mission. Plus we do a sideline in Prognosticating Sea Salt, if you're interested.

And we need a new parrot, says Terence.

What a stroke of good luck! says the man. I am Pedro Vincente Maldonado. You met my mother. She has great faith in your Sea Salt.

No kidding? says Sweezus. How come?

H for Hawaii, says Pedro Vincente Maldonado. Where I'm soon to be going.

Sweezus tries to look as though this was to be expected

In fact, says Pedro Vincente Maldonado, I'm meeting my children at El Paseo Shopping Mall in ten minutes. We're shopping for gear for Hawaii. They'll know where this young man can get hold of a parrot.

Yeah but I have to get to the station, says Sweezus.

He can come with me, if you like, says Pedro Vincente Maldonado. We'll meet again at my house for dinner.

Yay! says Terence. Best day ever!

He goes off with Pedro Vincente Maldonado to El Paseo Shopping Mall...

... leaving Sweezus free to look for the station...

...and Saint Roley feeling some degree of empathy...

...with a crushed pigeon, bleeding into the fountain.