The Grandpa Marx Method

The taxi arrives.

Mariposa and Pescado climb into the back seat.

Pedro Vicente Maldonado gets in the front.

The taxi driver loads the luggage into the boot.

One large suitcase. Two trunkies.

Don't go yet, says Pedro. There's one more passenger.

Terence is standing behind the fountain.

You're so mean, dad, says Mariposa.

I was given advice, says Pedro. Advice from those who best know him. Trust me, Mariposa.

Terence looks round the side of the fountain.

The taximeter ticks over.

Gaius comes out of the large house with the reheatable plastic food container, in which is the frog.

He spots Terence behind the fountain, and the taxi, with its open door, waiting.

Terence? says Gaius. Not going to Hawaii?

They won't let me, says Terence.

What's this about? asks Gaius. Of course they'll let you.

I have to be locked in a trunkie with undies and notebooks, says Terence.

Notebooks? says Gaius. Did she pack pencils?

Don't know, says Terence. I only know about undies.

I wonder if she has any spare ones, says Gaius. I mean pencils. Perhaps you could ask.

You ask, says Terence.

Gaius walks up to the taxi and speaks to Pedro through the window.

Terence wants me to ask if Mariposa has packed pencils, says Gaius.

This is promising, says Pedro. Is he coming around?

Not yet, says Gaius. It's I who wanted to ask about the pencils. I asked Terence to ask, thinking it would be a way to break the stalemate. But he asked me to ask.

Is this your Grandpa Marx method? asks Pedro. It seems rather long winded.

Grandpa Marx? Oh ha ha, no. Marx would have .... I'm not quite sure what Marx would do. Perhaps I'll ask Terence. He should know.

Hurry up then, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. Time is ticking and we must leave for the airport.

Gaius walks back to the fountain.

Mariposa asks the taxi driver to open the boot so she can check whether there are pencils in her trunkie.

Terence is watching.

He's opening the boot, says Terence. They're kidnapping me.

Not at all. They're probably checking for pencils, says Gaius. Now, Terence, this is one of those situations that requires a third party.

Yes, says Terence. A third party with red drinks somewhere comfy.

Such as Grandpa Marx, says Gaius.

Terence imagines Grandpa Marx with red drinks somewhere comfy.

( and in fact, he is close to the mark, because Marx is in Melbourne at a Marxist conference)

What would Grandpa Marx say to you if he wanted you to accept one small bad thing for a greater good thing? asks Gaius.

He wouldn't say anything, says Terence. He'd buy me a hat.

He remembers the hat with the ear flaps which Grandpa Marx bought him.

Come with me, says Gaius.

They walk to the taxi.

Terence will do it for a hat, says Gaius.

Do what exactly? asks Pedro.

Come with you, says Gaius, and get in the trunkie when strictly required, but for now he would like to sit in the taxi.

Yes, says Terence. Why had he not thought to say that?

Very good, says Pedro. Get in Terence.

Terence gets in.

Ready to go, now? asks the taxi driver.

Yes, says Pedro.

Wait, says Mariposa. Here's a pencil!

She hands Gaius a red fish topped pencil, though the window.

Thank you! says Gaius. I shall guard it with my life.

I'd rather you guard the giant baby frog with your life, says Mariposa.

Naturally, says Gaius.

The giant baby frog is pleased to hear this reply to Mariposa's instruction.

A positive note in this Life of Uncertainty.

And it's not just the frog who thinks so.