The OTHER Scientists

The road narrows. The bus rumbles by the sloped pastures, where cattle have been predicted.

Are there any?

No one is looking.

Why don't you girls go and talk to the OTHER scientists? says their mother.

We like these ones, says the child.

Sweezus and Arthur have not struck the mother as proper scientists.

Are you both eco-biologists? asks the mother.

No, says Sweezus, we're like, entrepreneurs. But we're taking a break to climb Chimborazo.

Yes, but you travel with scientists, says the mother. You must have an interest.

Long story, says Sweezus. I'm here because Arthur's here. He's here because Gaius reckons he's reliable.

He is more than reliable, says Gaius, who has been waiting for an opportunity to thank Arthur for bringing the guinea pig.

Is he? asks the mother. Well that's nice to know.

Yes, says Gaius. I just walked all the way up the bus to thank Arthur.

That's good, says Arthur. What did I do?

Obtained the guinea pig, says Gaius. She will prove invaluable. She understands the landscape.

The mother becomes more inclined to see Arthur as scientific.

So what is your background, Arthur? asks the mother.

Arthur does not like to say that his background is dubious. At seventeen, he ran away to Paris, lived with an older poet, fought him with knives and dead fish, drank litres of absinthe, ingested various substances, and produced some inimitable poems.

He's a cyclist, says Sweezus. Me too. So is Gaius. All of us wearing red pants.

Yes indeed, says Gaius. Sensible red waterproof trousers. Not the same team though. We have ridden the Tour de France for many years running.

Wow, says the older sister. Have you ever won it?

The short answer is no, says Gaius. But one keeps trying.

What about you? Have you ever won it? asks the child, looking at Arthur.

No, says Arthur. We could, but we don't practise.

The mother frowns again. These guys are poor role models.

Gaius perceives that she thinks it.

Would the girls like to come and talk to Saint Roley, so-called because he is an excellent role model? asks Gaius.

Yes, girls, says their mother. Go and talk to Saint Roley.

They walk back with Gaius to Saint Roley.

They have picked a bad time.

Saint Roley has just decided that his life has no meaning.