All Brothers

At the Hotel Metropolitan, Riobamba.

Simon has pre-booked two rooms.

I'll share with Buzz, you two can bunk in together, says Simon.

Sure, says Lydia. What about these guys?

Ahem, coughs Saint Roley. I'll go with Simon.

And I'll go with you and Tilly, says Princess Pacchu.

No pets in the rooms, says the guy at reception.

These are not pets, says Tilly.

A bird and a guinea pig? says reception. What are they? Dinner?

KA-wk! squawks Princess Pacchu.

Not at all says Simon. We are a scientific expedition from Newcastle, here to assist with the translocation of Riobamban tree frogs. This bird is an invaluable team member.

And the guinea pig?

The guinea pig is Princess Pacchu.

Reception has heard of Princess Pacchu. A Puruhá princess who married an Incan king. What was he called? Atahualpa or something? Okay. She can sleep in the room with the women. No more questions.

Simon and Buzz go to their room with Saint Roley.

We should talk, says Simon. We haven't had much chance to get to know you.

What would you like to know? asks Saint Roley.

How did you hook up with Gaius? asks Buzz.

I was down and out in Saint Malo, says Saint Roley. Terence wanted me for a parrot. At first I complied. But it's not easy being Terence's parrot.

I imagine not, says Simon.

So I resigned as his parrot, and made myself useful in other ways, to Gaius. I have an empathy with creatures who have lost family members, for example. That is, every creature. For I believe we're all brothers.

This is true for the most part, although he was not down and out.

And you fly, of course, says Simon. That must be useful.

Yes, says Saint Roley. The only problem I have at present is a complete dearth of molluscs.

I saw you picking at the encebollado, says Buzz.

I tried it, says Saint Roley. But soggy fish does not sit well in my stomach. In fact...is there a bathroom?

Saint Roley repairs to the bathroom.

In Lydia and Tilly's room, Princess Pacchu is speaking.

I love him, says Princess Pacchu.

But he's an oystercatcher, says Tilly.

Haven't you ever fallen for someone...other? asks Princess Pacchu.

Everyone you fall for is other, says Lydia. But usually the same species. What was that about you getting married to an Incan?

Atahualpa, says Princess Pacchu. It was a marriage of convenience. And I'm a guinea pig, remember.

Euw, says Tilly.

What was THAT for? asks Princess Pacchu.

Oh, it must've been hard for you, says Tilly.

But not for him, says Princess Pacchu.

No, of course, not for him, says Lydia.

I thought you might have meant that, says Princess Pacchu,

No way, say Tilly. Kings deserve all they get.

Exactly, says Princess Pacchu. That's why I love Saint Roley, he's not one. And he has empathy. But don't tell him yet.

It's been nice having such an intimate talk.

Afterwards, the three females sleep soundly