My Teeth Are My Future

Where were we?

Gaius and Humboldt have waded into the river to rescue Terence who has floated away in a tinny.

But they quickly wade back again, having spotted a croc.

It's too bad, says Gaius. We'll just have to watch him.

Yes, see what happens, says Humboldt.

After all, Terence is impervious, says Gaius.

Let us hope so, says Humboldt.

They sit on the log again, and watch the tinny receding.

Worst case scenario..... says Gaius.

Is what? asks Humboldt. The croc leaps up and drags Terence from the tinny .

And breaks his own teeth, says Gaius.

Terence drowns, says Humboldt.

Not drowns, sinks, says Gaius.

But all the excuses in Weipa won't change the moral imperative.

What will they do?

Humboldt gets up and walks along the riverbank, on the off chance of finding a second free tinny.

Gaius keeps an eye on the crocodile.

Terence floats across the Embley River, looking up at the stars.

The bandy bandy smells crocodile.

Danger! Sss!

What is it? asks Terence.

He looks over the side of the tinny.

A dark object!

A CROC! hisses the bandy bandy.

A croc is a SHOE, says Terence. That isn't.

Sss! What are you saying?

Gaius wears them. Green ones. Sweezus says they're strictly for nerds.

Crocs are?

Yes. But that's too big. I think it's a monster.

It's looking! squeaks the bandy bandy.

Hello! says Terence.  Hello monster!

The crocodile raises its eyeballs. Then its snout. Then it says:

I was listening.

Me too, says Terence. It was probably an owl.

Listening to YOU, says the crocodile. What's this shoe business? I heard it was illegal.

An OWL, says Terence. Not an eagle.

Illegal, says the bandy. He's thinking of crocodile shoes, made of real crocodiles. They're illegal.

I'm the king, says Terence. I have a magic bracelet. Somewhere.

So what? asks the crocodile.

So nothing, says the bandy bandy. I was in it. It was meant to be a prison. But I got out easily.

Why tell me? asks the crocodile.

Dunno, says the bandy bandy.

In case you were going to bite me, says Terence. You've got really sharp teeth.

I won't, says the crocodile. Anyone can see you're made of cement. And my teeth are my future.

Not completely, says Terence.

Shut up! says the bandy bandy.

The shoes! says the crocodile. Green ones! The thought drives me insane!

They're not proper  shoes, says Terence. They're like... made of the same kind of thing they make tyres from.

Rubber? says the bandy bandy. Are you sure? I don't think so.

Fluoroelastane, says Terence, remembering what Baby Pierre's tiny bicycle tyres were made from.

The crocodile scoffs. Never heard of fluoroelastane.

Never. Not out here.

I don't know, then, says Terence. Maybe plastic?

Now you're talking, says the crocodile. That's good then. Plastic, eh? Actually... no it isn't. Must follow it up. Nice talking. I'll be on my way. Wait. Want a tow anywhere?

No thanks! says the bandy bandy.

Yes, says Terence. To the other side. We're finding bandy bandies.

You've already found one, says the crocodile.

Different ones, says Terence.

If you say so, says the crocodile. They all look the same, in my opinion.

Ssss! snorts the bandy bandy.  We don't ALL have inter-nasal scales.

The crocodile had never thought of looking at them that closely.

Suck And Pop

Gaius and Humboldt, cycling towards the Embley River, listen to night sounds.

The wind in the soap trees.

The masked owl (again).

Tyres rolling over red dirt.

Terence asking questions. (Are we there yet?)

The bandy bandy thrashing about in the plum scented container.

A shrill whistlefrog.

A Nankeen night heron.

The suck and pop of the estuarine wetlands.

Water flowing seawards.

They arrive at the Embley River.

No ferry.

Perhaps we should start our search on this side, says Humboldt. After all, there is no ferry.

There's a BOAT! says Terence.

A tinny, says Gaius. So there is. What do you think, Humboldt?

Borrow it? says Humboldt. That seems wrong.

Gaius too thinks it seems wrong. So the tinny remains grounded.

Terence opens the plum scented container. Plum scent wafts out.

Followed by the bandy bandy.

I HATE you, says the bandy bandy. ALL OF YOU.

Why? asks Terence. I'm the king!

You're no KING! spits the bandy bandy. You're an infant.

Same thing, says Terence. Wait! I know! Let's go and look at the boat.

The bandy bandy postpones his hatred. He would like to look at the boat.

They squelch over to the boat together.

Correction. Terence squelches. The bandy bandy slithers.

Gaius and Humboldt are sitting on a cracked log in the moonlight discussing something of relevance.

Humboldt: La la la?

Gaius: Yes, it's what ladies say when they wish to make it clear they're not listening.

Humboldt: Well, that is alarming.

Gaius: Why so?

Humboldt: Both Kobo and Pinky Rose said it when a snake search was mentioned.

Gaius: But Kobo was the one who suggested they search by the ocean.

Humboldt: They are strange ones, don't you think so?

Gaius: Yes, but reliable.

Humboldt: You are a fine person. Do you know that?

Gaius: Thank you for saying so, I find it convenient to expect my companions to be reliable. I am rarely disappointed.

Humboldt: Excluding Terence.

Gaius: Ha ha. Yes. Why do you say that?.

Humboldt: He is currently floating away.

Gaius: Neptune's knickers! The little monkey!

Gaius and Humboldt wade out into the crocodile and deadly stinger infested Embley, to retrieve the errant Terence.

Split And Butter Up

Humboldt has caught one bandy bandy. The other has disappeared into the night.

One will be easier to manage, says Gaius. Now, are we ready?

How you planning to cross the river? asks Brad.

Gaius is stuffing the bandy bandy into the plum scented container.

Hadn't thought about crossing. He imagines a ferry.

The bandy bandy pipes up: There's crocs and deadly stingers in the river!

That's it! We're not going, says Kobo.

I'm going! cries Terence.

You do know that the new bandy bandy was first discovered on a concrete block near the sea? says Brad.

We could go to the sea, says Kobo. There might be another one.

They reckon it came in a load of bauxite, says Brad.

Idea, says Humboldt. Why don't we split into two parties?

Hm, says Gaius. Which party would cross the river?

You, me, Terence and the bandy, says Humboldt. Kobo and Pinky would go to the sea.

And I shall escort them, says Ageless.

That would be exceedingly slow, says Gaius. We'll drop you.

Good luck guys, says Brad.

Many thanks for retrieving Pinky, says Gaius.

La Belle Rose Comb, says Kobo.

Merci, Brad! says Pinky la Belle.

......

On the way to the sea, Kobo whispers to Pinky la Belle Rose Comb about what they will do when they get there:

the sea will be sparkling in the moonlight the waves lapping we will run on the sand no matter you do not have legs i too do not have them we shall find a means of transport perhaps ageless let us start buttering him up.....

Pinky la Belle Rose Comb answers:

how fast does he run?

Kobo replies:

depends on the reason and do not forget he has ridden a bicycle well you would not know that, but he did, perhaps he will borrow a scooter he is RESOURCEFUL!

Ageless overhears:

Meaning me, sweet puff?

Kobo: That remains to be seen.

Ageless: We're looking for snakes as well, don't forget, ladies.

Kobo and Pinky la Belle Rose Comb: Looking for snakes. La la la.

They arrive at the Weipa wharf. Gaius drops them near a large concrete block.

We'll be back shortly after dawn, says Gaius, getting back on his bicycle.

We hope, says Humboldt.

We're the luckiest, says Terence. We get to see crocodiles and stingers.

And I get my Kobo back, thinks Ageless.

The Rose Comb

Ageless didn't mean it, says Kobo.

What? asks Ageless. That she looks like a cock?

O waley-waley! cries Pinky.

Sweetness, says Kobo. He means a cockerel. Or a chicken. The proud red comb. That's what he thinks you look like.

Pinky is not greatly comforted.

Snort!

And Ageless doesn't help, saying nothing.

Come here, Pinky, says Gaius. If it's any comfort to you, you are now useless to us as a container.

How come? sniffs Pinky.

No points of entrance, says Gaius. Brad has sealed off your thumb.

O, says Pinky.

But, says Gaius, bad news can be good news. You have a new form. Ageless may see you as a fleshy protuberance on the head of a chicken or pheasant or turkey....

Turkey! yelps Pinky. I don't...

Hear me out, says Gaius. There are many kinds of bird combs. There are rose combs and pea combs, v-combs and buttercup combs, walnut combs and cushion combs...

These all sound lovely. Pinky is cheering up now.

Then Humboldt spoils it, by saying combs are used in various dishes, by the French and Chinese.

Not rubber ones, says Kobo quickly. Come to me, dear. I think I see you as a Rose comb.

Really? says Pinky. But I'm still useless.

Not to me, says Kobo.

Not to ME! says Terence. You look like a comb crested japonica!

Jacana, says Humboldt.

Terence ignores him.

You can be my new parrot, says Terence.

No I can't,  says Pinky. I'm a Rose comb.

Good for you, says Kobo.

Yes, good for you, says Gaius. Now, where are those bandy bandies? And Brad, may we borrow your torch?

Sure, says Brad. You heading off somewhere?

Yes, says Gaius. Keep it quiet, but we're going to poke about near the proposed new mine site.

The Amrun? says Brad.

Yes, says Gaius. Look for the new species of bandy bandy. We should have a good chance at night.

Terence spots the two bandy bandies hooping quietly away.

STOP! shouts Terence. You're coming with us!

No. We have to go hunting! they say.

Fantastic Like Rhubarb

Darling! says Kobo. You're as red as a plum!

Pinky droops in the torchlight.

Speak to me! says Kobo. Remember our plans!

Pinky remembers. But how to convey it?

She's exhausted, says Kobo. And she's empty. Where are those bandy bandies?

Here! says Terence. What do you want them for?

To enter Pinky and give her a boost, says Kobo. Will they do it?

No, says Terence. They won't do it.

Brad has dropped Pinky on the ground and started replanting the sapling.

The bandy bandies shoot forward.

They're doing it! cries Terence.

The bandy bandies stop at Pinky's ripped finger.

A tiny blind snake peers out.

Chomp. Chomp. They eat it.

What are they EATING? asks Terence.

A ramphotyphlops by the look of it, says Gaius. Also known as a blind snake.

Terence stomps up to the culprits.

I'm going to teach you a lesson! shouts Terence.

The bandy bandies stare at him rudely.

What lesson? asks Gaius. They were simply eating their prey.

It's not fair, says Terence. What if I did it to them?

What exactly? asks Gaius.

Eat them when they're not looking, says Terence.

Wrong on several levels, says Gaius. You would not eat a snake. And blindness is no disability in a ramphotyphlops.

Nor should one interfere with the food chain, says Humboldt.

Terence doesn't get it. Except for the first thing. He would not eat a snake.

Pinky appears to be weeping. Something wet's coming out.

I'm at my wits end, says Kobo. The bandy bandies won't help her. Nor should they.

What's up? asks Brad. Isn't this the right Pinky?

Of course it's the right Pinky, says Kobo. But look at her.

Brad is a practical guy.

He takes a length of wonga vine from his pocket. And some snippers. Blows into Pinky's ripped finger. Pinches the end. Ties the wonga vine round it and snips.

You wrecked her! says Terence.

Let's see, says Pinky. Anyone got a mirror?

Never mind dear, says Kobo. You look fantastic. Like a small bunch of rhubarb.

Rhubarb! says Ageless. She looks like a cock!

Hum To The Red Earth

Should we take a torch? asks Humboldt.

We should, and a spade would be handy, says Gaius.

But they don't have either.

They set off down the road on their bikes in the moonlight.

Terence is in Gaius's basket with the bandy bandies.

He is explaining to them why they can't be let go.

You have to help us, says Terence. We might not find the right hole.

The bandy bandies laugh.

Any hole is a good hole!

Pinky is in one, says Terence. You remember Pinky. You went to sleep in her. Your tail was poking out from one of her fingers.

O yes, one of them remembers.

Will she be awake now?

No, says Terence. She might even have died.

So we can go hunting, says the bandy bandy.

You can go hunting, AFTER we find Pinky, says Terence. What do you hunt for?

Blind snakes, says the bandy bandy.

That's not fair, says Terence. I should teach you a lesson.

But he doesn't have time.

They have arrived at the gate to the mine site. The gate is half open. No one is there.

This is lucky, says Gaius. Someone has been careless.

They wheel their bikes in, and over to the nonda plantation behind the red heaps.

Torch light flickers. Someone is moving.

Hello! calls Humboldt.

Yeah, hello, says Brad. Thought you'd be coming. Which one was it?

It was you who covered Pinky! says Gaius. What about the no going back rule?

I can do what I want in my own time, says Brad.

Really? says Gaius. Including trespass and digging up plants?

Well, not really, says Brad. But Roderick Coconut gave me permission.

Wonderful, says Gaius. So which one was it?

That's what I can't remember, says Brad.

My bandy bandies know! says Terence. They were in it!

But the bandy bandies refuse to cooperate.

Seek! says Terence.

But why should they cooperate with someone who thinks it's unfair to eat blind snakes?

Dear me, says Gaius. We can't dig them all up.

Ageless lifts his head from Humboldt's basket where he has been scraping his carapace against Kobo.

That one! says Ageless.

Which one? says Kobo.

That one, says Ageless. No, that one.

You have no idea. Let me see, says Kobo.

Humboldt lifts her.

Put me down.

Humboldt puts her down.

Kobo hums to the red earth: mmmm, pinky?

Nothing.

Kobo continues: mmmm speak to me pinky.

Nothing.

Kobo: mmmm sand, pinky, sand, you and me

Nothing.

Kobo: mmmm yes i'm getting something.

Pinky: eeeeeee....weeeee.....kobo....sand...you and me!

Brad. Gotcha! It's this one!

He digs out the nonda sapling, lays it aside, and keeps digging.

Yes! he lifts up poor Pinky.

Everyone is shocked.

In the torchlight, Pinky glows red as a plum.

Full Moon Is Helpful

Let's GO! says Terence.

Dinner first, says Gaius. On the way here I spotted a Woolworths.

But the Woolworths has closed at seven.

Humboldt is glad. 

They buy fish and chips from Barramunchies in Nanum to eat in their cabin.

Ageless has returned. He looks hopeful.

I smell fish and chips! says Ageless.

Guess what? says Terence. We're going to rescue Pinky, in the NIGHT TIME!

Are we? says Ageless, breaking off a large piece of fish.

Yes, says Kobo. Poor Pinky has had the worst day!

Has she? says Ageless, spitting out the fish chunk. The fish is still steaming.

No need to come, says Gaius, if you don't want to.

I'm coming, says Ageless. Anything to help Pinky.

He looks sideways at Kobo.

How did that go?

Kobo remains without a facial expression.

His sweet cream puff. At least she's not turning away.

Did you read the message, my precious ? asks Ageless.

Yes, says Kobo. You are back in the place in my heart I reserve for Lamenters.

Lamenters? A good sign? He hopes so. He picks up his fish chunk, and eats it.

It's better.

Gaius and Humboldt finish the chips.

Now let's GO ! cries Terence.

Plan, says Gaius.

Yes, a plan, says Humboldt. What is it?

We go back to the nonda plantation, says Gaius.

There may be obstacles, says Humboldt.

No doubt things will fall into place, says Gaius

They usually do, says Humboldt.

Terence, wake up the snakes! says Gaius.

Terence awakens the snakes. They had been sleeping in the plum scented plastic container.

They are less than excited to wake up in a cabin, with the lights on.

Can you guys TALK yet? asks Terence.

What time is it? asks the first bandy bandy.

Did you hear that? says Humboldt. Perfect English!

Yes, good work, Terence, says Gaius.

Terence had not taught the bandy bandies how to ask a temporal question. Or any sort of question. But he is pleased with the outcome.

YAY ME! says Terence.

What TIME is it? shouts the second bandy bandy.

Eight thirty pm. says Gaius. And a full moon, which will be helpful.

We know, says the first bandy bandy.

They do know. A full moon is always helpful.

Terence had not taught them that either.

He is proud of himself and his students.

Dark Red And Soft Like A Date

Rocky Point is not far from Nanum.

Rocky Point is good.

Town office, swimming pool, library.

Boat ramp.

Some people are fishing.

Frances is sitting on the sand with Terence and Kobo, eating Wongai plums from a plastic container.

They are looking out for the comb crested jacana.

(Which has left the vicinity).

Gaius and Humboldt wheel their bicycles onto the sand.

Guess wha--h-at! hiccups Terence.

We heard, says Gaius You finished off the noni-juice. And now you have hiccups.

Sorry about that, says Frances. Meant to save you some.

Never mind, says Gaius. Ageless gave it the thumbs down.

How is he? asks Frances.

Poorly, says Humboldt. He sent a note to his cream puff.

Ha-ha...hic!  says Terence. That's you Kobo.

What does it say? asks Kobo.

remember me but o forget my fate, says Gaius, unfolding the note.

Somewhat pretentious, says Kobo. Any commas?

You are hard, says Humboldt. In fact it's clear he adores you.

Adores you, says Terence. Like me. Hiccup.

No one adores you, says Kobo.

Shepherds do, says Terence. The Virgin said. And lettuce. That's weird though.

Lettuce? asks Frances.

O come lettuce, says Terence. You sing it.

Enough of this, says Gaius. Terence is confusing the issue.

The issue being? asks Humboldt.

We have lost the bandy bandies, says Gaius. Terence had made some progress in teaching them to speak. It's a great loss. They would have been useful....

We brought them, says Frances. They're asleep in the bottom of my tote bag. Under the plums. Would you like one?

A plum? Yes, please, says Humboldt. They look nice. I hope they don't taste like cheese and mustard.

These are Wongai plums, says Frances. You have to store them for a few days to let the latex break down because it's toxic. After that the fruit becomes dark red and soft, and tastes like a date.

A date. This reminds Kobo of Pinky. She sighs.

Delicious, says Humboldt, taking another.

This is promising, says Gaius, looking into the tote bag. Parts of the bandy bandies are just visible under the Wongai plum container.

Eat up, says Frances. Then you can have the plastic container for the bandies.

They eat the rest of the plums.

The sun sets, spectacular as ever. Pink and red smears. Orange curdles. Yellow streaks.

Frances leaves them soon after.

Wah! Hic! wails Terence. I'll never see a comb crusted jac...hic..ana.

You might yet, says Gaius. And tonight we plan an adventure. You may come with us if you cheer up.

What? cries Terence. I'm cheered up!

The rescue of Pinky, says Gaius.

Really? says Humboldt. I thought ...

That too, of course, says Gaius.

Remember Me But O!

When Gaius and Humboldt arrive at Nanum beach, only Ageless remains there.

Ageless looks green.

The sand is all scrambled around him, and features small chunky red lumps.

What happened? asks Humboldt. Where are the others?

Rocky Point, says Ageless. I couldn't. I give up. Turn me over.

We'll do no such thing, says Gaius. Was it the noni-juice?

Ych! replies Ageless.

I take it you tried it, says Gaius.

Kobo made me, says Ageless. No I lie, she encouraged me. No, come to think of it she tried to stop me.

I can imagine, says Gaius.

Which? asks Humboldt.

All three, says Gaius. That is the nature of Kobo.

Ageless groans.

I thought, without Pinky, she would return to me. She wished to know how the noni juice tasted. I indulged her. But she turned it against me.

And how did it taste? asks Humboldt. Like blue cheese and mustard?

Wooooorse! says Ageless. Bitter and medicinal. Terence liked it.

Did he taste it? asks Gaius.

He drank the rest of the bottle before Frances could stop him, says Ageless. It was red, see.

Tch! says Gaius. I suppose we'd better go to Rocky Point. Where is it?

That way, says Ageless. Wait. I wish to send a message to my dear little cream puff.

Who is.......? begins Humboldt.

Kobo, says Gaius.  Ageless is fond of her.

Yes, but cream puff? says Humboldt. I've felt her. She's hard.

Ageless is feeling too nauseous to take offence at this insult to his cream puff.

Gaius takes out a pencil, and notepad.

Ageless dictates:

remember me my beloved but o forget my fate

Any commas? asks Gaius.

Ageless shakes his head. No, no commas.

That's very good, says Humboldt. Reminds me of Dido's lament.

It is Dido's lament, says Ageless. If that doesn't work on Madame Pretentious, I don't know what will.

Very well, says Gaius. I take it you're staying?

I'm staying, says Ageless. I'll just lie here in this stinking sand and languish.

Your choice, says Gaius. Why did they go to Rocky Point by the way? Any reason?

Terence met an oystercatcher who told him he'd seen a comb crested jacana, says Ageless.

Funny, says Gaius.

Why funny? asks Humboldt.

Their habitat is freshwater wetlands, says Gaius.

Perhaps it was lost or in transit, suggests Humboldt.

Indeed, says Gaius. Or perhaps the oystercatcher was mistaken.

We won't know unless we go there, says Humboldt.

Exactly, says Gaius,

They go, leaving Ageless to languish.

You're The Second Best!

On Nanum Beach.

A warm afternoon. Sunshine, white sand and blue water.

Frances has left Terence under a beach cherry, with Kobo.

Ageless has wandered off on his own.

Terence is looking for that bird he has forgotten the name of.

There's one! says Terence.

I don't think it is, says Kobo.

Why? asks Terence.

Because it's an ibis, says Kobo.

You're right! cries Terence. My bird has a red something.

What a shame Gaius and Humboldt aren't here, says Kobo.

Pyjama! says Terence.

No there's no bird called Pyjama, says Kobo. But look over there! An oystercatcher just like Saint Roley.

Terence is overjoyed to see an oystercatcher just like Saint Roley.

He gets up and runs towards it.

It hops a short distance away.

Stop! cries Terence. Do you know me?

The oystercatcher is suspicious. Who would ask that type of question?

Terence, says Terence.

No response.

Terence thinks for a moment.

It might know Saint Roley.

Do you know Saint Roley?

I know OF him, thinks the oystercatcher. But blowed if I'll say so.

He's the BEST, says Terence. But he didn't come. He wanted a rest. Not from me, from the others. So I had to get Pinky, and then she got lost down a hole.

There is little in this that the oystercatcher can relate to.

What is a Pinky?

Terence tries another approach.

Are there any Pyjamas near here?

Oystercatcher (surprised into speaking): Pyjamas?

Terence: YESSS!

Oystercatcher: That was me reiterating the last word of the question.

Terence: But you said Pyjamas.

Oystercatcher: No such bird as Pyjamas.

Terence: It has a red hairbrush.

Oystercatcher: You mean a red comb?

Terence: Do I?

Oystercatcher: If you do, there's a comb-crested jacana....

Terence: That's it! Where?

Oystercatcher: Not here. But I have seen one.

Terence (excited): Where? Make me a map!

The oystercatcher draws a rough map in the sand with it's principal toe.

A line with a dot. It could be anywhere.

Terence: Maybe just tell me.

Oystercatcher: Rocky Point. That way.

Terence: Thanks! You're the SECOND BEST!

He runs back to Kobo.

Guess what? I found out where there's a comb crested py...jacana! Let's go!

But Frances has returned with a bottle of noni juice.

So first, they all have to try it.

Too Bad If You Drop A Memento

Gaius and Humboldt return to the nonda plum plantation.

We have located the spot, says Gaius. The map was most useful. Where is Frances?

Got the afternoon off, says Roderick Coconut.

Well, please thank her, says Gaius.

Where is Terence? asks Humboldt. And the lobster, and our other dependents?

She took 'em, says Roderick Coconut. There was a big upset.

Took them? says Gaius Where to?

Back to Nanum, says Roderick Coconut. That little fellow of yours is easily distracted.

We know, says Gaius. But why was he in need of being distracted? I thought he was happily digging.

He was, says Roderick Coconut.

And? prompts Humboldt. What happened?

Long story, says Roderick Coconut. Seems that his pink rubber glove with the bandies inside accidentally dropped into the hole he was digging while he was over here talking to us about this and that.

This and that being? asks Humboldt.

Surely that is irrelevant, says Gaius. Did anyone get them out?

No one noticed, says Roderick Coconut, until the bandy bandies dug their way to the surface.

Leaving Pinky at the bottom, says Gaius. Which hole was it? I'll dig her out.

Hold it, says Roderick Coconut. Rules. Once a sapling is planted that's that. No going backwards.

What if you had dropped your watch in? asks Humboldt. Or a memento of a loved one?

Too bad, says Roderick Coconut.

Is this no going back a traditional rule? asks Gaius.

No, it's Rio Tinto policy , says Roderick Coconut. We've got 25,000 seedlings to plant, and a time frame.

I thought as much, says Gaius.

So did I, says Humboldt. Perhaps if we fill in a form?

Go to the office, says Roderick Coconut. See what they say.

We shall, says Gaius. I need to ask permission to enter the new mine site at night.

I wouldn't do that, says Roderick Coconut.

Perhaps you're right, says Gaius . We'll just.... well.... least said the better.

Frances said she was taking them to Nanum beach, says Roderick Coconut. Show them the shorebirds and that. And buy them a noni-juice.

Thank you, says Gaius. We'll find them.

Gaius and Humboldt head off on their bicycles, back towards Nanum.

We should have marked the relevant sapling, says Humboldt.

That would have looked very suspicious, says Gaius. Terence will remember. If not, Kobo is sure to. She was fond of Pinky.

Yes, we all were.

How is she doing?

Being inert at the moment, she is not doing badly.

A worm passes by her. Wonders briefly. Who is she; why is she smelling of snakes?

Becoming Part Of A Plum Tree

So it's even darker now, in the hole.

The bandy bandies wake up again.

Night-time-wee-ey-oh!

(The ey-oh! is because they have realised that Pinky's in trouble).

Pinky-wee!

What-do-ee?

No-thing-wee.

Their English has not improved much.

They are burrowing creatures however.

Up-go-wee.

They make their way up to the surface.

Surely this time it will really be night time.

But first, Roots of Nonda! They push through, losing confidence in it being night time.

Crumble crumble. They break through.

Sun's still up. It's not even lunch time!

Not much has happened while they have been buried and deserted.

Terence is wailing.

Wah! Wah! I lost Pinky!

And the bandy bandies, says Kobo. Gaius will be disappointed.

Nothing good ever happens to me, snivels Terence.

What about your shorts? asks Kobo. What about your magic flow ring? What about noni-juice?

I haven't got any noni-juice, says Terence. That's another BUM-HEAD THING-HOLE!

Language! says Kobo.

The bandy bandies wriggle up.

Bum-head thing-hole!

What did they say? asks Frances, who has not heard them talking before.

I think they're trying to tell us something, says Ageless.

Moron, says Kobo. They're just  copying Terence.

That's GOOD, says Terence. It's good if they copy me. Gaius said.

I'm sure he didn't expect you to teach them rudeness, says Kobo.

Ageless could be right. They might have been trying to tell us something, says Frances. 

Heh-heh, says Ageless.

Such as what? asks Kobo.

Thing-hole. says Frances. That's a clue. Did anyone see where they popped up from?

The bandy bandies wriggle back to where they came from.

Here-pinky-bee-down-thing-hole.

Great! says Kobo. You were right for once, Ageless! I mean it.

Crik,,, crik,,,, cricks Ageless. Praise from his beloved!

Trouble is, says Frances, we have rules, and the rules are that once you've planted a nonda you can't dig it up.

Wah! cries Terence. Pinky is down in the thing-hole! She can't come out ever!

She may eventually become part of a plum tree, says Kobo.

When? asks Terence.

Sadly, not for ages, says Kobo. 

Blue Cheese And Mustard

How is it that Pinky is at the edge of a hole?

Terence had brought her over to watch him digging.

He had not intended to forget her.

But he had done that.

He went back to Frances to ask for a sapling and got talking.

It wasn't his fault.

Frances was talking to Kobo and Ageless about the variety of trees being replanted.

Lemon aspen, says Frances, blue quandong, green fruited fig, emu apple, peanut tree, jam fruit and that's just the start.

How delightful, says Kobo. I wish I could see it.

Yeah well, says Frances. That's why we're here. And we get paid to do it.

Terence interrupts. Where's the noni? I've finished the hole.

Not a noni, says Frances.  A nonda. But there is such a thing. Ever tried noni-juice? They produce it round here.

Is it red? asks Terence.

Sort of, says Frances. Reddish. It's made from morinda fruit. Some people chew it.

I want some, says Terence.

I don't have any, says Frances. But you should look in the shops. Beware of the taste though.

How intriguing, says Kobo. I never eat or drink anything, but how does it taste?

Like blue cheese and hot mustard, says Frances.

aaah! says Kobo, mmmm.... I'm in love with it.......

for you,,,,,,my sensuous one,,,,,, says Ageless, I'll obtain some.

And for ME, says Terence.

Not for me, thanks, says Kobo. What I really desire is some sand. Where are the best beaches?

Nanum, says Frances, or the beach south of Rocky Point. Great sand. Don't mind me asking, but what will you.... err.... do in the sand?

I'll run with Pinky (says Kobo)
her snake finger flying
along an endless stretch of sand.
like two women running on a beach
by Picasso.

Eee! a vanishing sound arises from the hole that Terence had forgotten.

It comes from the bottom.

What's happened down there?

Pinky is unconscious, but the bandy bandies have awakened, due to the darkness.

night-time-alreadee? hungree-need-not-be

out-come-wee?

But emerging from Pinky they realise their error.

And fall asleep again, by her side.

A team member sees the hole, as yet unplanted.

He inserts a healthy young nonda plant, shovels dirt in, pats it gently, and moves on.

Endangered At The Edge Of A Hole

Gaius and Humboldt wheel their bicycles towards the land management and rehabilitation area.

Roderick Coconut looks up.

Welcome to country, says Roderick Coconut.

It's an honour, says Gaius. Any news of the new bandy bandy?

Ask Frances, says Roderick Coconut. She's got this map.

A map should be useful, says Gaius.

Frances comes over.

Hi. Come to help us plant nondas?

YES! cries Terence. What are nondas?

Yummy plums, says Frances. I'll give you a spade if you really want to help us. Here, have this one.

Terence now has a spade.

He edges away from Gaius and Humboldt, with his new implement.

Yeah, Roderick told me you were looking for the new bandy bandy those biologists found, says Frances.

We are, says Humboldt. We read the report, and it seems the bandy bandies may be endangered.

I'm worried about that myself, says Frances. Hey! Is that a bandy bandy?

She has spotted the finger of Pinky, protruding from the cement hand of Terence. Terence has sneaked back to drag Pinky from Gaius's basket.

Not that one, says Gaius. It's a regular vermicella annulata. We have two if them. They currently sleep inside Pinky.

Okay, says Frances. She has heard many stories, and this is a good one.

Anyway, says Frances, I got you this map. Freek Vonk and Bryan Fry left it here. See the little dot there?

Yes, says Gaius. The dot marks the spot.

Ha ha, laughs Humboldt. The dot marks the spot.

You a poet? says Frances.

Ahem, no, says Humboldt. Let me see. Where are we? What are these markings?

A new mine, opening next year, says Frances. Right where the snakes are.

May we have a look? asks Gaius.

Nothing stopping you, says Frances. The little guy can stay if he wants to.

Terence is happily digging, some distance away.

Fine, says Gaius. Humboldt and I will make a preliminary reconnaissance. Who else is coming?

Ageless and Kobo?

No thanks, says Kobo. We'll wait here.

Gaius and Humboldt cycle off, towards the dotted area.

They don't get far when Gaius remembers he doesn't have Pinky.

Gaius: We should have brought Pinky.

Humboldt: What for?

Gaius: Her contents might have been useful.

Humboldt: Not likely. Her contents are sleeping.

Gaius: Good point. They'll come in useful this evening.

They continue, without Pinky or her contents.

A pity.

Because Pinky and her contents are at the edge of a very deep hole.

Flaws In Connectedness

Gaius and Humboldt cycle to the Rio Tinto bauxite mine outside Weipa.

Terence is in Gaius's basket, in charge of the refurbished Pinky.

Ask them, says Terence.

Ask them what? asks Pinky.

Not what, says Terence. Ask them why?

I can't ask them anything, says Pinky. They're sleeping.

Inside Pinky, the bandy bandies are sleeping. She can't ask them anything.

Where are we going? asks Pinky. I wasn't listening.

We're going to a box MINE! says Terence. Where they dig up boxes.

Gaius has been ignoring the conversation so far. But he can't let this go.

Bauxite, says Gaius. Not boxes.

What is Box-ite? asks Pinky.

A naturally occurring material rich in aluminium, says Gaius.

O, says Pinky.

The tip of her black and white striped finger moves in the breeze.

Now we know everything, says Terence.

Kobo and Ageless are travelling in Humboldt's basket.

Ageless is keeping still. He hopes Kobo will roll towards him at any moment.

and then,,,,,,,,crik crik,,,,,hoo!!

Kobo is keeping up a loud conversation with Humboldt.

I hear you climbed Chimborazo, says Kobo

I did, replies Humboldt. After that I saw the world differently.

How interesting, says Kobo. In what way?

I saw the earth as one living organism, says Humboldt. Everything is connected.

That is too simple, says Kobo. As a fossilised clam of longstanding I beg to differ. Everything is separate, and most things are not connected.

How interesting, says Humboldt. In what way?

Take me and Ageless, says Kobo. Take dear Pinky.

Humboldt ponders her meaning. She does have a point about Pinky.

He re-examines his long-held belief.

Come to think of it, he himself rode the entire Tour de France on Schopenhauer's bicycle.

And yet, not a Schopenhaurian thought crossed his mind, although it was supposed to.

They arrive at the gate of the mine.

We're here to see Roderick Coconut, says Gaius. He's expecting us.

Yep. Right. He'll be over there somewhere, doing revegetation, says the gatekeeper, pointing at heaps of red stones.

Round the third heap and keep going till you see the new nonda plums.

All right if we take our bikes in? asks Gaius.

Go for it. No worries. Hey! That a bandy bandy in that pink rubber glove? Thought so....

They cycle to the third heap of stones, dismount and wheel their bikes round it.

There in the distance is the revegetation team, bending down, planting nondas.

Sleeping And Learning

Yes dear, says Kobo. You won the knife game. How are you feeling?

Like I'm full of SNAKES! says Pinky. O-eek! There's one hanging out of my finger!

That's your new finger, says Kobo. Now you have four pink fingers and one black and white striped one. Don't worry. It's sleeping.

What's this all about? asks Gaius.

Yes! What? cries Pinky. I recall nothing!

It's the best case scenario, after the knife game, says Kobo.

Ageless sidles up to Kobo. Heh-heh!

Pinky examines her new finger. It's actually quite sporty-looking.

I'll live with it, thinks Pinky.

Now Pinky, there is a downside, says Kobo.

I KNOW, says Pinky. My old finger is ruined.

No, that's not it, says Kobo.

You're the new PRISON! says Terence.

I don't have time for this, says Gaius. Come inside. There are apples for breakfast.

They all go inside.

Humboldt is staring at the apples. Where's that Swiss army knife?

Here it is, says Gaius. You might want to wash it. It's been used for the knife game.

What happened to Pinky? asks Humboldt.

I won, says Pinky. It's all good. I'm still waiting for the downside.

I can tell you what that is, says Humboldt.

Shh! hisses Kobo. Let me. Pinky dear, in the day time you will be your lovely self, with that gloriously striped finger At night you will be transformed into a snake. Two snakes actually.

SHE won't be snakes, says Terence. She'll just be empty!

No, says Kobo firmly. That need not be so.

Pinky is inclined to believe Kobo, who has read many novels and knows what can happen. Terence only has a bird book, which he can't read.

Humboldt has cut up the apples.

Those who like apples tuck in.

Right, says Gaius. We're cycling to the bauxite mines this morning. We'll speak to Roderick Coconut. Terence, did you learn anything from the bandy bandies?

No! says Terence. They're asleep.

Earlier, says Gaius. Did you find out why they cross roads on humid evenings?

Terence had forgotten all about that question.

......

The bandy bandies sleep inside Pinky. They dream pink dreams, with a soundtrack.

downside-eee-finger-ruined-glorious-apples-for-breakfast-tranformed-dear-that-need-not-be-so.

They are sleeping and learning.

The Masked Owl

The bandy bandies can move fast when they want to.

They enter Pinky, through her shredded finger.

Look around.

It is totally dark inside Pinky.

not-YET, says one.

YET-sleepee-time-no, says the other.

They exit Pinky.

How distressing for Pinky, says Kobo.

On the other hand, says Ageless, she looked more like herself, with snakes inside her.

True, says Kobo. It's one way of solving her problem. The snakes could sleep inside her in the daytime. And come out at night. Of course, Pinky would then have no night life.

Leaving you and I free, my beloved, hints Ageless.

Kobo does not reply.

Terence has been scrabbling under the jackbean for his magic crown prison.

Here it is! He has found it!

Get in, prisoners! says Terence.

They have something to tell you, says Kobo.

The bandy bandies shuffle, not having the words yet.

They want to sleep inside Pinky, says Kobo. Just in the day time. And think, how nice that will be for Pinky. One of their black and white striped tails protruding, perhaps, from her tattered finger.

Did they TALK? asks Terence.

No, says Kobo. It was their actions. They simply went in.

But then they came out again, says Ageless.

Fool! says Kobo. Why mention the obvious?

Okay, says Terence. But what about Pinky? Can she talk with snakes inside her?

She is sure to, says Kobo. I know I would, if it were me.

Heh-heh, sniggers Ageless.

The Masked Owl flies overhead again, screeching.

It's the same one as before.

There are not enough Masked Owls about, these days.

A dog barks.

The cabin door opens.

Gaius is an early riser, and dawn is breaking.

it-daytime-YET-YES!!

My knife! cries Gaius.

Ageless apologises.

And what has happened to Pinky?

My prisoners will fix her! says Terence. They said so!

Prisoners? You mean the bandy bandies. Well done Terence! What did they say exactly?

Gaius kneels to get a good look at what happened and what's going to happen.

The bandy bandies crawl into Pinky.

day-YET-weee!

The striped tip of one of their tails hangs out of Pinky.

Pinky stretches and heaves, then settles.

O! What happened? Did I win? asks Pinky.

Ttsss! No Needee!

In the moonlight, a Masked Owl screeches.

A deep rasping screech.

Kobo watches Ageless win the knife game.

Pinky has no chance. You need two hands for the knife game.

One of her pink rubber fingers is shredded.

Enough! says Kobo. Ageless is the winner.

Heh heh! says Ageless. What do I win?

Neither of us, says Kobo. You are outrageously self serving. I'm well aware of your agenda.

What is it? asks Ageless.

He knows, but how does she know?

Pinky destroys herself, says Kobo. I'm at a loose end. You and I get back together.

Close, says Ageless.

Not going to happen, says Kobo. O stars! Look at Pinky!

Pinky is deflated. Her whimbrel bill (the Picasso) is now miniaturised, and raised slightly.

Like when you draw on a balloon, thinks Kobo. And the balloon pops. And the drawing shrinks and looks incredibly detailed. She might like to keep it like that.

But no. She knows Pinky wouldn't.

Terence breaks though clumps of knot vine and coastal jackbean.

Da-dah!

I'm in charge! says Terence.

Of what? asks Ageless.

The prison, says Terence. Look at my prisoners.

Where are they? asks Kobo.

On my head, says Terence. Inside my crown.

You must have lost it, says Kobo. Who were the prisoners?

Wah! cries Terence. The bandy bandies! My crown's gone!

They can't be far off , says Kobo. Retrace your footsteps.

What happened to Pinky? asks Terence.

She's sleeping, says Ageless.

She's ruined! says Terence. Everything of mine gets BROKEN!

The bandy bandies are not far away.

They are under the jackbean, inside the prison, waiting for silence.

What-to-doo! We-love-he.

Ttsss! Not-we-do-hiding

Fixee!

They slither out of their prison.

It's easy.  The walls are slinky.

Phew! says Terence. I found them! Come here boys! Where's the prison?

Ttsss! No-needee-prison-stickee-together.

They're not very good at talking, observes Kobo.

I'm teaching them, says Terence. YES NEEDEE PRISON!

The bandy bandies would have gone back to the jackbean and hauled out the prison, but....

They spot Pinky.

Bandy bandies are burrowing creatures.

Pinky looks like the perfect new home.

We're NOT Friends

Everyone is relaxed now.

The bandy bandies have taken to Terence.

They're draped over his shoulders, admiring his crown.

Humboldt yawns. It's been a long day.

Gaius yawns too, as you do when someone else does.

What a pity bandy bandies are nocturnal, says Gaius. I really need to turn in.

I'll stay up with them, says Terence. I'm responsible.

He is not the picture of responsibility. But:

It was he who captured the bandy bandies. And he who charmed them, with his surprise popping crown.

Furthermore, remembers Gaius, Terence has no requirement for sleeping.

What do you think, Humboldt? asks Gaius. Should we let Terence be responsible?

With strict instructions, says Humboldt.

Boo! says Terence. KINGS don't need strict instructions.

The bandy bandies agree. Their new king doesn't need strict instructions.

Nevertheless, says Gaius. This is a serious mission. Before Humboldt and I go to sleep, we'll make a to do list.

Terence is not listening. He is dancing towards the door. The bandy bandies are jiggling on his shoulders. The magic flow ring crown rattles:

Shik! Shik!.

Gaius and Humboldt sit down at the table to nut out some instructions.

1. (writes Gaius, with a pencil).....

It must be something Terence can see a reason for doing, says Humboldt.

Maybe we should stay awake after all, says Gaius.

No, this should not be beyond us, says Humboldt. Try this:

1. ....... Wait. Can he read?

No, says Gaius. Let's just speak to him.

Terence!

Terence bounces over.

Make friends, try to communicate, stick together, says Gaius.

Very good, says Humboldt. Pithy.

Terence grabs the heads of the bandy bandies.

We're NOT friends, says Terence.

They goggle and nod.

He is their king, they are NOT friends.

Scritch-scritch! at the door. It's Ageless, trying to get in.

Gaius opens. Ageless enters.

Terence skips out.

Drat! says Gaius. Ageless, follow them, will you.

Just coming in for a knife, says Ageless.

In the drawer, says Gaius.

Ageless skitters out again, with a knife.

Gaius and Humboldt try to grab some shut-eye.

Outside in the moonlight under a cotton tree, Ageless plays the knife game with Pinky.

Kobo watches. Poor dear Pinky is crazy!

But that's why she loves her.

She hopes Pinky won't lose all her fingers.

Not-We-Caring

Terence is first back to the cabin.

He stops at the door.

He raises the apple bag to see how the bandy bandies are doing.

Not very well. They are rigid and scared.

Gaius and Humboldt arrive seconds later. They enter the cabin.

Gaius's phone lies on the table.

Now for a photo, says Gaius. Terence, be ready to open the bag.

The apple bag had been closed simply by twisting.

The best way to untwist it is to let it untwist by itself.

Terence holds the apple bag by a tiny top section.

It turns slowly, then faster, and opens.

The bandy bandies are free to come out

Wait! says Humboldt. What do we know of their venom?

Very little, says Gaius. Just be careful.

The apple bag is on the floor of the cabin.

Shut the door, says Gaius. We don't want them escaping.

Humboldt shuts the door.

Terence looks into the apple bag.

You can come out now!

The bandy bandies look at one another.

nomore-swing-swing-and-twistee-nooo.

This is their thinking.

They remain in the apple bag.

Should we just tip them out? wonders Humboldt.

Careful, says Gaius. First lift the bag onto the table.

Oosh-liftee! Plop.

Now the apple bag is on the table.

They're not coming out, says Terence. I'll MAKE them.

He peels back the apple bag and exposes the bandy-bandies.

Come out NOW! I'll show you my magic bracelet.

Tttss! Not-we-caring.

You don't have your magic bracelet, says Humboldt. Remember?

I don't have it YET, says Terence.

YET. The bandy bandies know what YET means.

It is not morning YET.

(They are nocturnal)

They look at one another.

But there is no reason to do anything YET.

I'll look for it, says Gaius. As I promised.

He rummages deep in his back pack. Pulls out Terence's flow ring. It is flat at the moment.

He gives it to Terence.

Yippee!

Watch THIS! says Terence. I'm the king. I wear snake shorts I have the best crown. He places the flow ring on his head in its flat configuration.

Tap tap. Boing!

Yes! It still works!

Terence is king of the bandy bandies!

It's ridiculous! The bandy bandies lose their rigidity.

Hoo hoo! They are laughing.

The bandy bandies wriggle out.

Gaius takes several photos.

Some are good ones.

When Threatened

By now it is evening in Weipa.

A beautiful sunset is occurring.

Outside their cabin at the Weipa Camping ground, Gaius and Humboldt eat apples.

Gaius: Most satisfactory.

Humboldt: Yes they are good apples.

Gaius: And we can peel and quarter them, thanks to you.

Humboldt: Which we are not doing. But thanks for acknowledging my foresight.

Gaius: Posting my Swiss army knife from Adelaide airport to Weipa.

Humboldt: I knew it would be useful.

Gaius: I wonder where Terence has got to?

Humboldt: He's down there, by the water, bird spotting.

Gaius: It will be dark soon.

Humboldt: I know.

Gaius: I'm thinking of setting up a viewing place next to the road.

Humboldt: I understand. The night is humid. Perfect conditions for a bandy bandy crossing.

Gaius: I'd better fetch Terence.

He gets up and walks over to Terence, who is easy to see in his black and white snake shorts.

Gaius: Seen any comb-crested jacanas?

Terence: No. But I  thought I saw Saint Roley.

Gaius: That is highly unlikely.

Terence: HE would know where to find my magic bracelet.

Gaius: Ah. I must remember to check for it in my back pack. But right now we are going to look for bandy bandies in the dark. You'll enjoy that.

Terence: Yippee! Let's go!

....

It's dark now, and humid.

The campsite is quiet.

Gaius and Humboldt are sitting on camp chairs at the road side, under a stringy bark.

Terence is fiddling with a torch.

Gaius: Turn it off. The moonlight will be sufficient.

Humboldt: Shh! I see something.

Terence (running onto the road): Bandy bandy!

Gaius: You'll frighten them off! Come back here!

Two bandy bandies (not the new species), had been crossing. They freeze.

Gaius: See there! Drat! Where's my phone?

Humboldt: What do you want your phone for?

Gaius: To take a photo.

Terence: I'll catch them!

He runs back onto the road, towards the two bandy bandies.

When threatened, a bandy bandy raises hoops of its body vertically while its head remains on the ground.

Terence grabs them by their hoops.

Runs back, brandishing them like magic bracelets.

Put them down at once, says Gaius.

Terence puts them down.

Humboldt, who has run off for the apple bag, returns at this moment.

He drops the apple bag over the two bandy bandies.

Gathers them up quickly and closes the bag with a twist.

Can I carry them? asks Terence.

All right. Don't drop them, says Humboldt.

Terence carries the bandy bandies back to the camp site. Swinging them.

They can see parts of him through the apple bag.

Which parts?

His claw finger and his bandy bandy shorts.

I Lose Everything

The truck speeds towards town.

You scientists? asks the ranger.

I am a natural historian, says Gaius. My companion here is Alexander von Humboldt, naturalist, geographer and explorer.

Roderick Coconut, says the ranger. Traditional owner, land management and rehabilitation team member with Rio Tinto.

Ah just the man! says Gaius We are here to look for examples of the new species of bandy bandy.

Already been done, says Roderick Coconut. There were these scientist fellows just recently...

We know, says Gaius. I was hoping....

Freek Vonk, says Roderick Coconut. That was one of them. Snake man. Funny name, eh?

Gaius agrees it is funny.

Any idea where they located the new species? asks Humboldt.

Not really, says Roderick Coconut. And who's the little fellow?

Me, says Terence. I'm on the team. I've got snake shorts.

Roderick Coconut admires the snake shorts.

And a magic bracelet, adds Terence.

Where is it? asks Roderick Coconut.

Terence thought he had it, but he hasn't.

Wah! says Terence. I lose EVERYTHING!

It'll be somewhere, says Gaius. Ah, is this Weipa?

Sure is, says Roderick Coconut. I'll drop you at the bike shop.

Excellent, says Gaius.

Enjoy your dinner, says Roderick Coconut. Nothing better than a freshly cooked lobster.

He is not dinner, says Gaius. Ageless is a team member. As are these ladies.

He need not have bothered to mention the ladies.

Kobo and Pinky are deeply involved in discussing Dora Maar and Picasso.

Apologies, says Roderick Coconut. Well, come and see me when you get settled. Someone on the team might remember where they found that new bandy bandy.

Thank you, says Gaius.

Roderick drives off, leaving them all in front of the bike shop.

Gaius and Humboldt hire bikes, each with a handlebar basket.

And ride off to look for the Weipa Caravan and Camping Ground.

Terence is in Gaius's basket, keeping a lookout for bandy bandies and parrots.

Ageless is in Humboldt's basket with his red knitted hat pulled down low to avoid hearing the following discussion between Kobo and Pinky:

Kobo: And Picasso watched Dora Maar play the knife game.

Pinky: Can we play the knife game?

Kobo: She often stabbed her own fingers.

Pinky: I wouldn't care!

Kobo: You are so uninhibited!

Pinky: You taught me.

Kobo: I have more to teach you. Together we'll run on the sand.....

The Female Psyche

Welcome to Weipa Airport, operated by Rio Tinto.

Gaius, Terence, Ageless and Pinky find a seat in the terminal building.

Wait here, says Gaius. I'll enquire about bikes.

He goes over to enquire at the counter.

How long will Kobo be? asks Pinky.

About this long, says Ageless, opening his pincers.

Very funny.

A Gypsy Moth appears in the distance, getting closer.

It lands at the far end of the runway.

O! says Pinky That's them!

Bloody Tom McDonald! Get him out of there! crackles the loudspeaker.

A vehicle speeds to the far end of the runway, raising red dust.

The vehicle speeds back towards the terminal, through the red dust.

When the red dust clears, the Gypsy Moth has vanished.

Humboldt is escorted into the terminal.

You're good to go, says the driver.

Thank you, says Humboldt. That was exciting. Now, where are my companions?

He spots Gaius at the counter.

Ah! Humboldt! says Gaius. How was the joyride?

Informative, says Humboldt. We swooped low.

Kobo enjoy it? asks Gaius.

She has been remarkably quiet since observing the RangerBot, says Humboldt.

Has she, indeed? says Gaius. Who understands the female psyche? Now, we can hire bikes in the town. But the town is four kilometres from the airport.

No worries, says the man behind the counter. You can get a lift in. I'll fix it. Everyone's helpful in Weipa.

Humboldt and Gaius head back to the seat where Terence, Ageless and Pinky are waiting.

Where is she! demands Pinky.

Here she is, says Humboldt, pulling Kobo out of his pocket.

Kobo comes face to face with Pinky.

She can't fail to notice three things.

1. Pinky now has a down curving bill like the bill of a whimbrel.

2. It appears to be the work of an amateur, as it has been drawn sideways.

3. Pinky is waiting for her reaction.

My love! says Kobo. You are transformed into something resembling a Picasso!

Ageless was not expecting this reaction. Nor was Terence.

What is a Picasso? asks Pinky.

There are many Picassos, says Kobo. But you remind me of Dora Maar Seated. In that painting, Dora Maar has two noses, one semi-frontal and one in profile, and her pink fingers with their bright red fingernails thrust upwards like erotic bromeliads.

This is good news for Pinky.

Who needs a lift into town? asks a ranger-looking person. I'm just heading there now.

We do, says Gaius.

Truck's out there, says the ranger. Hop in.

Pretty Mouth

Pinky has rejected Ageless's solution.

Lick her face! That's not better, that's worse.

Ageless, disappointed, licks the pencil.

Now it's all slimy, says Terence.

Let me see, says Pinky. No, it's not slimy.

Okay, says Terence. First I'll give you a ......err.... nothing.

A pretty mouth, says Pinky.

Mm, says Terence. Wait a minute.

What is it? asks Ageless. The pencil won't stay slimy forever.

It's not slimy, says Pinky.

She wants to believe this is so.

Terence pokes Gaius, who is snoozing.

Where's my bird book?

What...what? Your bird book? It will be in the overhead locker. Why do you want it?

I need it for something, says Terence.

It can wait, says Gaius.

It can't, says Terence.

You are persistent, says Gaius, getting up and dragging the bird book from the overhead locker.

Here it is.

Terence leafs through it.

Which one looks most like a parrot?

A parrot? says Gaius. These are shorebirds. I thought you had fixed on the comb crested jacana.

I thought I was getting a face! shouts Pinky.

Not a bird face, says Gaius. Terence, I forbid it!

Just the beak, says Terence.

Absolutely not, says Gaius.

Why not? says Pinky. A beak would be amazing. May I see the bird book?

Everyone is surprised

Pinky is less conservative than they imagined.

Pinky leafs through the bird book.

O, the lovely Eastern curlew, with its down curving bill. This one please.

Bill's too long, says Gaius. May I suggest the whimbrel? It's bill is similar, but half as long. More suited to the size of your face

Yay! says Terence. Hold still, Pinky.

Wait, says Pinky. I haven't consented.

Go on, says Ageless.

Okay, says Pinky.

Terence draws a curved whimbrel bill onto Pinky.

Of necessity, he draws it sideways.

Anyone got a mirror? asks Pinky.

No one has.

And anyway, the captain is announcing their imminent arrival in Weipa.

Pinky is excited.

Soon she'll see Kobo. And Kobo will see her new face.

His Deadly Syringe

For a moment, Kobo hopes that the Gypsy Moth will have to make an emergency landing.

Down there on an unsubmerged runway of coral.

Rip rip rip rip. Urrrrkkkk!

And they would all clamber out of the Gypsy Moth.

And Tom McDonald would tinker to fix it.

And this would take hours and Humboldt would hand him the spanners.

meanwhile she would gaze into the waters
at the now less than colourful corals
and the blue yellow and orange tropical fishes
ruefully darting among the crown of thorns starfish
which are nibbling on the corals
blissfully unaware that.....
the RANGERBOT is coming!

and their eyes meet
she tumbles into the water
narrowly escaping the point of his
deadly syringe

into his arms
which are yellow

But this is not destined to happen, because the Gypsy Moth recovers.

Tom McDonald wheels in the air and heads towards Weipa.

.........

Meanwhile Gaius is heading in the same direction, in a Qantaslink de Havilland Bombardier Dash-8 twin-engined medium range turboprop airliner, seated next to Terence who is trying to encourage Pinky to sit on his lap.

Pinky: No thanks. I don't want to.

Ageless: Heh-heh!

Gaius: Terence, she doesn't want to. Now listen. What if I were to give you a responsibility?

Terence: What?

Gaius: Take charge of my pencils. You'll be like Arthur.

Terence: Arthur has a knife.

Gaius: Yes and Arthur is not here at the moment. But Arthur can always be relied upon to come up with a pencil, or a knife for that matter, but a knife is out of the question just now.

Terence: Okay. I want the pencils.

Gaius gives Terence the pencils. He hopes he has done the right thing.

Terence: You can go to sleep now.

Gaius (closing his eyes): I might just do that. It's been a long journey.....

Terence (taking out a pencil): Come here Pinky. I've got something for you.

Pinky: What is it?

Terence: A new face. Keep still, I'll be really careful.

Ageless: You'll ruin her.

Terence: No, I won't.

Pinky (to Ageless): He won't ruin me. Not if he licks the pencil first.

Ageless: I don't think he's a licker. But I am.

Pinky: Okay, you lick the pencil.

But Ageless has a better solution.

Desire For A Dangerous Bot

It's decided.

Humboldt and Kobo will fly over the reef before flying to Weipa with Tom McDonald.

Gaius goes in to fetch Kobo.

You'll be in a Gypsy Moth, says Gaius. You'll get a tour of the reef and.... now what was the other thing Ageless asked me to tell you.......?

That he's sorry? says Kobo.

Not that, says Gaius. Something about barrels

Ageless has hung back, understandably. But he is within earshot.

He is furious. Gaius only had one thing to remember. A sand ridge and a beer barrel runway.

Okay, two things.

Gaius brings Kobo out to the termite mound where Humboldt and Tom McDonald are waiting.

Impressive little fossil! says Tom McDonald.

This is Kobo, says Gaius. She has a deep nature.

Ageless tells me you like rolling down sand hills, says Tom McDonald.

Ageless knows nothing about me, says Kobo.

So it seems, says Tom McDonald. He mentioned certain items of clothing.

Flying skirts, no doubt, says Kobo. I never wear them.

Gaius hastens back to the terminal.

Tom McDonald heads for his Gypsy Moth.

Humboldt and Kobo follow.

......

Putt putt putt.

(Or whatever a Gypsy Moth sounds like)

They are up in the air, over the water, looking down on the reef.

Yeah, says Tom McDonald. It used to look better.

What happened? asks Humboldt.

Rising temperatures, crown of thorns starfish, says Tom McDonald.

What can be done? asks Humboldt.

Tom swoops down almost touching the water.

Sweersh!

Look there, says Tom McDonald. See that! It's a RangerBot.

Lift me, says Kobo. I have long desired to see a RangerBot.

Have you? asks Tom McDonald, surprised. These RangerBots are a new technology.

I know, says Kobo. Something may be desired before it comes into existence.

What is a RangerBot? asks Humboldt.

An underwater drone that detects crown of thorns starfish and injects them with poison, says Tom McDonald.

What is the poison? asks Humboldt.

Vinegar or bile salts, says Kobo.

Both men are impressed with her knowledge.

Kobo cares not. She gazes down at the RangerBot.

So dangerous and handsome.

Tom swoops upwards.

What's your interest in Weipa? asks Tom McDonald.

The bandy bandy, says Humboldt. We're trying to identify the new species before the bauxite mining ruins their habitat.

Good luck with that, says Tom McDonald.

That's not my interest, says Kobo. I wish to run along the sand unrestricted.

With the lobster?

No, not with the lobster. With Pinky.

And Pinky would be.....?

A female friend of mine.

With five pink fingers? asks Tom McDonald.

Woop! Don't let him mention the willies!

Fortunately at this moment the Gypsy Moth sputters.

Sput sput sput.

(Or whatever a dodgy old Gypsy Moth engine sounds like).

She Loves Anything With Sand

Humboldt comes out of the terminal looking for Ageless.

He finds him at the termite mounds, with Tom McDonald.

This your lobster? asks Tom McDonald.

He's his own lobster, says Humboldt. But he is with my party.

And no longer welcome, says Ageless.

Not at all, says Humboldt. The willie joke is all but forgotten. Come, we take off shortly.

Where're you people headed? asks Tom McDonald.

Weipa, says Humboldt. Do you know it?

Know it? says Tom. I've flown all over.

Are you a pilot? asks Humboldt.

You could say that, says Tom. Bit long in the tooth now. Used to take off from that sand ridge over there. You can't see it but you can imagine. A Gypsy Moth.

From beer barrels, says Ageless.

You're joking, says Humboldt.

Not always beer barrels, says Tom. Anything that was available.

Do much flying now? asks Humboldt.

Gaius comes out to look for Humboldt.

Time to go to the boarding gate.

Yeah a bit, answers Tom McDonald. I could take you up, if you weren't in a hurry. Show you the reef.

Humboldt would love to go up. He had been unable to look at the reef from the air as they flew into Cairns because of the willie joke, which had to be dealt with.

I'm in no hurry, says Humboldt.

Er-hem, says Gaius. You are.

How's about this? says Tom McDonald. I'll give this chappie and the lobster a spin and then I'll drop them in Weipa.

Capital! says Humboldt. You don't mind, do you Gaius?

Of course not, says Gaius. I only wish I could join you. But you wouldn't have room for the others.

Is one the fossilised clam? I could take that one, says Tom.

Ageless beams.

Of all our party, says Gaius, she is the least likely to want to travel at close quarters with Ageless.

I thought you said the willie joke was all but forgotten, growls Ageless.

By Pinky, yes, says Gaius. She's a light and airy soul. And Terence has not forgotten, but now thinks it is the best joke he's heard in a long time. Which is why Kobo is unforgiving.

Ageless has a brainwave.

Kobo can take his place, flying  with Tom and Humboldt to Weipa. Tom will speak of the sand ridge and the beer barrels. Kobo will be enchanted. She will thank Ageless when they meet again in Weipa.

Crik,,,crik,,,ah,,,his beloved,,,she loves anything,,,with,,,ah,,,sand,,,in it!!!!

Zigzags And Claws

The plane lands at Cairns airport.

Ageless is persona non grata with his companions.

He shuffles off.

Where are you going? asks Gaius.

For a walk, says Ageless. Outside.

Don't hurry back, says Kobo.

We fly out in an hour, says Gaius.

Ageless scrapes his way to the exit.

Now he's outside.

All airports look the same except for the artworks.

Ageless is drawn to silver termite mounds, covered in runes.

He  tries to decipher the meanings.

Zigzags. Crossed circles. Stars. Claws.

A man looms behind him.

A lobster!

Ageless bows.

Ageless lobster, says Ageless. Traveller, and misunderstood crustacean non grata.

Tom McDonald, aviator, says Tom McDonald. What have you done?

A rude joke, says Ageless. I upset my beloved, and the infant on whom her five fingered new friend was sitting.

I can't quite picture it, says Tom McDonald.

What if I told you the five fingered new friend was pink and made of rubber? says Ageless.

A rubber glove! says Tom McDonald.

Inflated, says Ageless. On the infant's lap.

Like five little willies, says Tom McDonald.

You think it's funny. I thought it was funny, says Ageless. But they didn't.

They wouldn't, says Tom McDonald. So they sent you outside?

I departed, says Ageless. I'm a loner.

I too am a loner, says Tom McDonald. See that sand ridge?

No, says Ageless. What sand ridge?

Over there, says Tom McDonald. You have to imagine it.

Ageless imagines a sand ridge, with Kobo sliding elatedly down it.

Ahh! ,,,,crik crik,,,,, cries Ageless.

What's this about? asks Tom McDonald. Now, imagine me taking off from the top of the sand ridge in a de Havilland Gypsy Moth, because that's the only place I can take off from.

I imagined something different, says Ageless.

How about beer barrels? asks Tom McDonald.

Ageless is taken aback.

No, not beer barrels, says Ageless. A creamy fossilised clam, her colour up, because she is excited, rolling and tumbling down the sand ridge, her skirts flying.

Not something I've ever seen, says Tom McDonald. A fossilised clam wearing skirts.

Allow me my fantasy,,,, says Ageless. Yours is beer barrels.

It's no fantasy, says Tom McDonald. It was in 1928, the early days. I could only take off and land between high tides. Once, in an emergency, I took off from beer barrels.

Beer barrels. You can't make that up.

Offensive to Everyone

It's a three hour flight to Cairns, non-stop on Jetstar.

A doddle.

Gaius examines his pencils.

A thought strikes him. Where is his Swiss army knife? He could use it to sharpen the broken one.

What are you looking for? asks Humboldt.

Swiss army knife, says Gaius.

Confiscated, says Humboldt. Didn't you see what happened?

No, says Gaius. I was busy explaining the presence of Ageless lobster.

They let him through, says Humboldt. How did you explain it?

Research, says Gaius. I explained the nature of our research into the new species of bandy bandy, and how Ageless had demonstrated an invaluable knowledge of their habits.

Not of the new species! How could he? asks Humboldt.

The Jetstar official did not ask that question, says Gaius. She simply believed me. So I was not obliged to resort to Plan B.

Which was? asks Humboldt.

To claim the lobster was our dinner, says Gaius. Of course that would have resulted in an unpleasant incident with the Swiss army knife, which unknown to me had been confiscated, says Gaius.

Humboldt sees multiple problems. His brow wrinkles.

Are you saying you would have knifed the lobster?
Ageless lobster, your friend?
Should he not have remained alive, until our arrival?
It's a long time till dinner.

Do you not recognise a jest when you hear one? says Gaius.

Oh a jest! Ha ha. Got me, says Humboldt. You are in a good mood.

I am, says Gaius. I was just thinking how pleasant it is to have a companion who is on the same wavelength.

Errh, yes , says Humboldt. But I failed to pick up on your jest.

Never mind, says Gaius. I hope Ageless lobster failed to pick up on it also.

He need not have worried.

Ageless lobster is laughing at his own jest. Heh heh!

The jest has not been at all well received by Kobo or Pinky.

It is this, (to go back to when Ageless said it) :

Terence, Kobo and Pinky are sharing a seat by the window. Ageless is idly staring across at his beloved.

How wondrously creamy she is,,,,, and that little dimple,,,,,crik crik,,,,,,,,,,

What are they talking about?

Pinky is recalling her manufacture. All those spinning hands. The dipping and cleaning. The baking. The peeling. The final spin through the brushes to roll up her cuff.

Becoming excited she jumps into Terence's lap.

Waving her little pink fingers.

Heh heh! laughs Ageless.

Whats funny, parrot? asks Terence.

You've got five little willies, says Ageless.

Ageless, says Kobo. You have just been offensive to EVERYONE!

But Ageless can't see it.

Spinning Pasts And Red Presents

They will catch the bus to the city and then the J1 to the airport.

On the bus to the city:

Gaius: I hope I've packed my pencils. Did you see me do it?

Humboldt: Yes I saw you put them in. One was broken.

Gaius: Was it? Why didn't you say so?

Humboldt: I thought you knew. It broke when the point pierced Pinky.

Pinky: Oaah! Eee! I remember.

Kobo: Mmm. What did it feel like?

Pinky: An exquisite piercing. Ach! And then, an inner shrinking.

Kobo: You have something to teach me.

Pinky: I don't think so.

Kobo: What else do you remember?

Pinky: A flight attendant, blowing me up.

Kobo: A female?

Pinky: Yes, she had soft lips and hands.

Kobo: What about before that?

Pinky: There was a twin me.

Kobo: Of course. Rubber gloves come in pairs. Have you any memory of your manufacture?

Pinky: Let me....

The bus stops in the city. Everyone gets off.

They wait for the JI, which is late coming.

It comes at last. They get on.

On the J1 to the airport:

Terence (who is sitting next to Ageless): Bumhole! Now I don't have a parrot.

Ageless: No one needs a parrot.

Terence: I do.

Ageless: I'll be a parrot. How about that?

Terence: You have to get me things if I need them.

Ageless: No I don't. Heh heh! I just have to wear a red hat.

Ageless drags on his red hat. It smells musty.

Terence: You look like my new parrot.

Ageless: What new parrot?

Terence: The jamina.

Gaius: The jacana. The red crested jacana.

Humboldt: The comb-crested jacana.

Gaius: Yes, of course.

Pinky: I just remembered something creepy.

Kobo: Tell me.

Pinky: I was born on a hand mould. It was spinning. Dipping and spinning. How I coughed!

Kobo: Oh my dear, that sounds....

The J1 arrives at the Adelaide airport.

Everyone gets off.