I Might Not Be Playing

Now, says Gaius, I shall return to the campsite. Who else is coming?

Me, says Baby Pierre. I've done enough for one morning.

Me, says Lavender. And my spider. No wait. I'll ask him. Are you coming?

You know I am, says the maratus cristatus.

Of course I know, says Lavender. That was just politeness.

Politeness? says the maratus. So is that like when you ask someone something and you already know the answer?

Not always, says Lavender. Sometimes you don't know the answer. It's still a politeness.

Ask me something else, says the maratus.

Okay, says Lavender. Would you like to play I spy on the way to the camp site?

No, says the maratus. But thank you for asking. Now it's my turn.

You have to ask me if it's my turn, says Lavender. I might not be playing.

He doesn't,  says Baby Pierre. Turns are for fairness, not politeness.

You be quiet, says Lavender. I thought you had a headache.

I do, says Baby Pierre. Thanks for not asking.

That was asking, says Lavender.

It wasn't, says Baby Pierre. It was telling.

You're in a bad mood, says Lavender.

Shall I start walking? says Gaius. I've arranged to meet  a fellow camper back at the campsite. He's working on Project Maratus.

You haven't asked us if we're coming, says First Dirty.

No, you haven't, says Second Dirty. What happened to politeness?

It was a general question, says Gaius. Speak now if you want to stay here. Or perhaps make your own way back to the camp site.

Otherwise? says First Dirty.

Otherwise, I shall start walking, says Gaius.

He has already started walking.

My turn, says the maratus cristatus.

Do you know how to play? asks Lavender.

Play what? asks the maratus.

I spy, says Lavender.

I said no to I spy, says the maratus.

What then? asks Lavender.

My turn to ask you something, says the maratus.

To which she doesn't know the answer, says Baby Pierre.

For politeness, says the maratus.

Okay, says Lavender. Ask. But I probably will know the answer.

Here goes, says the maratus cristatus. Would you like me to do my mating dance for you?

Jumping Jupiter! says Gaius. Say yes, Lavender.

But Lavender thinks: Mating dance? Is this a trick question?

She does not know the answer.