Friday, April 24, 2015

The Limited Effectiveness Of Science

Rear Admiral Bruni, Ageless lobster, Baby Pierre and the half ruby sea dragon (on a skewer) are all bunched together in the fishing net, on the sea bottom.

It will keep us together, says Rear Admiral Bruni. We don't want anyone drifting off.

That's exactly what we want, says Ageless. Why aren't we moving?

We're waiting for a packet, says Baby Pierre, who has been listening, and really likes science.

That's right, little man, a wave packet or wave train, says Rear Admiral Bruni, a natural teacher.

Train? says Baby Pierre. Will it have wheels on?

No, it is more like an envelope, explains Rear Admiral Bruni.

When is it coming? asks Ageless, who doesn't like waiting.

Let me see, says Rear Admiral Bruni. He takes out a waterproof notepad and underwater pencil from his rear admiral's uniform, and starts calculating.

Baby Pierre cranes to look over his shoulder.

Rear Admiral Bruni tries to calculate E, where  E is the mean wave energy density per unit horizontal area.

It's taking ages.

Have you got another one? asks Ageless. That one isn't working.

I could try to calculate P, says Rear Admiral Bruni.

Go ahead, says Ageless, we've got nothing else to do, have we.

Baby Pierre giggles.

What's pee?

P is the wave energy flux per unit of wave crest length, says Rear Admiral Bruni. P equals pg squared over 6 pi times H squared m o Te.

Baby Pierre hopes that pee will help them get moving.

Ageless is sure it will not.

Forgive me speaking as an amateur, says Ageless, but did I just hear the word crest?

What of it? asks Rear Admiral Bruni.

And am I right in supposing that the crest of a wave is generally found on the surface? says Ageless.

Yes, I see what you mean, says Rear Admiral Bruni. We're in far too deep for this formula to be effective. What a pickle.

Don't despair, says Baby Pierre. All we need is a leg up.

But who will give us a leg up? asks Rear Admiral Bruni. Your father has frightened the ruby sea dragons away.

Ageless looks sour. Then he brightens. At least he has something to eat. He twiddles the skewer.

But my goodness. There are plenty more fish in the sea.

Here for example, although it is too murky to see him, is Didier, the chimaera, harbinger of volcanoes.

Hrch! says Didier. You still here? When are you leaving?

The rescuers have a simple answer to this question, and a question to follow the answer.


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