Guano

I'm busy today, so Pliny the Elder has graciously agreed to write a blog for me :


Greetings !

After our discussion on bird droppings yesterday, I decided to conduct some research into the modern day uses of the substance which is nowadays more politely known as guano. This term includes the droppings of bats, birds and seals. This I learned from Wikipedia, an excellent source of knowledge.

Guano has many uses today, not least as a fertiliser in the garden, but there are other uses which are more interesting. Indeed, some have generated great amazement in me, used as I am to discovering marvels.

For example guano is used as an ingredient in lipstick and mascara that women use to beautify their faces. Why they feel it necessary to do this must be a matter for discussion on another day. I have discovered that Victoria Beckham, a person of great fame, to name but one, uses a cream made from the excrement of nightingales to rid her skin of pimples. I have this on the authority of Insider.

Next we find that guano is essential to the growing of peppercorns from which we get black pepper. This I learned on a site known as Askville. I must confess this information makes me more reluctant than ever to approach the pepper pot.

Furthermore, guano is an important ingredient in gunpowder, and has also been used in explosive charges to deploy antennas in the Mercury and Gemini capsules. There can be no doubt as to the truth of this, for guano is known to contain a substance called saltpetre.

Lastly, I have seen a claim that guano, cooked with rice and celery, tastes a lot like chicken. This too I discovered on Askville. However, I would not be altogether surprised if the respondent was answering the question in a spirit of jocularity. I have included it here, as I would not wish it to be thought that I lack a sense of humour.