Violetta's Bossy Way With Cucumbers

Gaius calls Violetta on the phone. Ring Ring.

Splosh! says Violetta, picking up.

Violetta! says Gaius. I haven't seen you since....I don't know.... the Ides of March! How about coming to lunch?

The Ides of March! says Violetta. What year was that? And who is this anyway?

Me, Gaius! says Gaius. So, are you coming?

Alright, says Violetta. Can I bring anything?

A chicken would be nice, says Gaius. And a bottle of something.  See you soon, then, Violetta.

So she's coming, says Bunny.

Yes, says Gaius. She'll be here shortly.

Good! says Arthur. We don't have to have cucumbers.

Violetta arrives twenty minutes later with a chicken and two bottles of  white wine.

Hello all! says Violetta. Gaius you idiot! Why didn't you tell me there were four of us? I'd have brought two chickens and four bottles.

No need, says Gaius. I have an excess of cucumbers. Unfortunately these young people do not like them. But you and I....

Gaius! says Violetta. I am the cucumber queen! Just let me at 'em.

Soon Violetta has taken over the kitchen. She whips up Cucumber and Yogurt Salad, Ginger Cucumber Salad, Cucumber and Mint Sandwiches, and finally, a hot dish of Cucumber and Braised Baby Onions.

Everyone sits down to eat. Mmmmmm. The chicken is nice.

After lunch and several glasses of wine the conversation turns to saving the Great Australian Cuttlefish.

We thought you might ....says Gaius.

Say no more, says Violetta. I can do cuttlefish. I'll splash 'em all over town. Everyone'll know about it. And we'll take a trip up the gulf and put a bomb under everyone up there.....

Err.... actually I'm saving for a trip to Turkey, says Gaius..

Turkey, what the fuck for? says Violetta.

He wants to see the Gate of Hell, says Bunny. And throw a sparrow in it.

Puh! spits Violetta. Make up your mind, Gaius Plinius Secundus. Wallaroo with me or Turkey with a sparrow?

Arthur wanders off. He doesn't like Violetta's way of taking over. And he doesn't like her bossy way with cucumbers.

He stares out of the kitchen window. Suddenly he hears the squeak of three familiar voices.

Arthur! squeak the voices, from the window sill.