The Crucial Age Of Thirteen

The bus passes through Port Wakefield and into the yellow rolling hills at the top of  Gulf Saint Vincent.

It reminds Arthur of the Tour de France.

This reminds me of the Tour De France, says Arthur. All these hills.

Let me see! says Ouvert.

Arthur lifts him up to see out of the window.

It reminds Ouvert of the Tour de France too. He remembers his glory days, as the sought-after lucky talisman of the Tour, passed from pocket to pocket. But who won it? Ouvert can't remember.

Who won the Tour? asks Ouvert.

Not us, says Arthur. And who even remembers? The last race is the only one that matters.

Is this the last race? asks Ouvert.

This isn't a race, says Arthur. This is a trip to Wallaroo, on a bus. The last race was Paris-Roubaix.

Who won it? asks Ouvert.

Cancellara, says Arthur.

Ouvert is sad.

.........

Bunny is going to read excerpts from Lourdes to Baby Pierre and Lavender.

Are you guys squeamish? asks Bunny.

No, says Baby Pierre. Why?

Because the people on the white train going to Lourdes suffer from horrible conditions, says Bunny. The white train is for the very worst cases. Open sores, cancers, inflammations, hideous facial ulcerations caused by lupus.....

Euuw! says Lavender. I thought it was about Baby Pierre.

I'm the priest, says Baby Pierre. I'm the reasonable priest.

True, he is called Pierre, says Bunny. But it's not about you. Pierre is a man. And Marie is a woman. And it's romantic because she's in a box.

I've been in a box, says Lavender.

Why is she in a box? asks Baby Pierre. Hasn't she got any legs?

She has legs, says Bunny. And beautiful golden hair. But ten years earlier, she fell off a horse at the crucial age of thirteen.....

Why is it the crucial age? says Lavender, enthralled.

Well... says Bunny. It stopped her becoming a woman. And Pierre you see, being a priest, isn't a proper man, and.....

Stop! says Baby Pierre. It's too awful!

...........

Gaius and Violetta are discussing their plans.

I shall be giving a lecture in the Wallaroo Town Hall, says Gaius, on the subject of the mating habits of the Giant Australian Cuttlefish, after which there will be questions, followed by drinks and snacks. It has all been arranged by the University of the Third Age, whatever that is.......

Don't you know? says Violetta. It's for old dudes. They learn Tai Chi and Canasta and Computers for Beginners, and how to make Quillos. I bet you'll be a hit.

What are Quillos? asks Gaius.

Who knows? says Violetta. I expect you'll find out. And while you're doing that I'll get busy.

Don't do anything rash, says Gaius.

That's all I do, says Violetta.