Stage Four: Glenelg to Mount Barker - Deflation And Cunning

A beautiful morning in Jetty Road Glenelg for the start of the BUPA Stage Four.

A sea breeze is wafting. Seagulls wheel overhead. Children ring bicycle bells and toot horns. Old people grumble at the impediments to normality. Pablo is ogling girls.

Cut it out Pablo, says Sweezus. We get serious today. Remember our race plan?

Pablo nods seriously although he doesn't remember the race plan.

Arthur might know.

Two of the girls Pablo has been ogling run over.

They look rather young.

Arthur! Arthur! cry the girls, who are twin-like.

Irma and Emma! says Arthur. Was that you calling out to me yesterday?

Yes, says Irma. It was us. We're on holiday.

Richard Dawkins, who has placed himself behind Pablo and Arthur to get a good start, wonders if the twins are eleven.

Bang! BUPA Stage Four begins.

.........

The riders ride through Christies, McLaren Vale, Aldinga.

They climb Sellicks Hill.

Although Surfing-With-Whales has remembered the race plan,

Arthur and Pablo have not.

And Jack Bobridge gets King of the Mountain.

Sweezus pedals on doggedly, towards Strathalbyn.

Surfing-With-Whales has dropped back.

He is now level with Arthur and Pablo.

He is about to start telling them off, when he hears Pablo reciting:

I hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond......

and Arthur is laughing,

and Surfing-With-Whales decides not to.

........


At the finish. Mount Barker. Flags.

It is again a great day for team UniSA. Steele Von Hoff is the stage winner.

The crowd cheers. Brief excitement. Then it's over. Deflation. Here we are in Mount Barker.


.......


The wrap up.

Surfing-With-Whales: The SHITTIEST poetry!

Sweezus: What sort?

Surfing-With-Whales: Sex! Food! Adjectives!

Sweezus: And now look  at them. Who are those girls?

Richard Dawkins: They're called Emma and Irma.

Sweezus: What? Emma and Irma? They've grown up a bit! They must be.....

Richard Dawkins (hopefully) : Eleven?

Sweezus: Na.......

Surfing-With-Whales (cunningly): Yes......, they'd be eleven.