The Condor Leaves Its Casket

Saturday night. Victoria Square. The team presentation is over, the free concert has begun.

Sheppard are singing Geronimo!

Phil Liggett and Paul Sherwen are trying to hold a civilised conversation.

Phil Liggett: What a cacophony! But that went very well.

Paul Sherwen: It did indeed. Let's hope the rest of the Tour runs as smoothly.

Phil Liggett: It will do. But what do you think of Team Philosophe's new line up?

Paul Sherwen: Richard Dawkins? Vello's taking a calculated risk there.

Phil Liggett: I know what you mean, Paul. The bicycle. He calls it his lucky bicycle.

Paul Sherwen: He does. And that surprises me.

Phil Liggett: And then there's Gaius, who appears to have some sort of injury.

Paul Sherwen: Yes, but he's playing it down. One or two of the journalists have commented on that ring he sits on whenever he thinks no one's looking.

Phil Liggett: And what do you think of Team Condor? A wonderful name, that.

Paul Sherwen: A wonderful name. Named after the Andean Condor, one of the birds Pablo Neruda so beautifully described in his poem, Andean Condor.

Phil Liggett: Tell me again Paul. How does it go?

Paul Sherwen: We're not on the television now, Phil.

Phil Liggett: Ha ha. That means you don't know.

.........

Team Condor is enjoying drinks round the back with Richie Porte of Team Sky.

Richie Porte: This is so cool, seeing you guys.

Sweezus: Likewise, man. How's the writing?

Richie Porte: Up and down. How you doing, Arthur?

Arthur: Good.

Sweezus: He's lying. He got scraped knees after escaping through the emergency hatch of a Premier Stateliner.

Arthur: Knees must.

Richie Porte: Ha ha. Knees must. Arthur you kill me.

Surfing-With-Whales: Knees must what? I don't get it.

Pablo Neruda: It is funny because it is playing with words.

Richie Porte: Are you that Spanish poet?

Pablo Neruda: Chilean.

Richie Porte: I thought you were Spanish.

Pablo Neruda: I write in Spanish.

Surfing-With-Whales: With a green pen.

Richie Porte: Cool. Green pen eh?

Sweezus: Yeah, he wrote Andean Condor.

Richie Porte: Condor. That's a bird, right? Don't you guys have a thing against birds.

Pablo Neruda: I don't.

Sweezus: It's me that does, but I'm not against vultures.

Arthur (quoting): And the condor leaves its casket
                              sharpens its talons on the rocks
                                 spreads its mystical plumage
                                      flies to the end of the sky
                                           pecks at the sky's zinc
                                            waiting for a sign of blood....

Sweezus: See what I mean?

Richie Porte: Man, that's awesome.

Pablo Neruda: Arthur missed some lines out though.

Richie Porte: It's still awesome. Well, I'd better get going. Big day tomorrow.

Surfing-With-Whales: Not that big. People's Choice Classic. Only 51k.

Richie Porte: Yeah, but the condor leaves its casket.......

Sweezus: Good one, dude! Game on.