The Eye And The Red Tattered Prayer Stick

And the skewer. Where is it?

Arthur picked it up, while Ferdy was packing the Perth Scuba van.

He shoved it into his shorts pocket, with the pointy end down.

Now, on the way back to Esperance, he feels it sticking into his leg.

He draws the skewer out of his pocket.

What the hell? says Ferdy. What are those red bits?

Bits of head, says Arthur. An eye and a snout end, and red tatters of sinew.

Get rid of it, says Ferdy. What if I had to stop in a hurry?

I'll fix it, says Arthur.

He rips the beady black eye from the end of a string of veinous material, and pops it onto the skewer. Then he prises the snout end from its fleshy attachments. Squee-erk!

He pushes the hollow snout end over the skewer.

Now all it needs is a ribbon and feathers, to look like a prayer stick.

........

Sweezus meets the Dempsters at the boat ramp.

Welcome aboard, says Andrew Dempster. Beautiful day!

Yeah, awesome, says Sweezus. Thanks for asking me. Is it okay to bring Baby Pierre?

How is he, after his accident? asks Mary Emily.

Good as new, says Sweezus. But disillusioned.

I'm not surprised, says Mary-Emily. No father should behave like that.

Baby Pierre wonders where Mary-Emily got that idea from.

.......

Gaius has finally caught up with Ageless, who has been skulking.

Ah, Ageless, says Gaius, I thought you may have gone back to Perth with the vanguard.

Vanguard? says Ageless.

Arthur and Ferdy, says Gaius. They're taking the sea dragon head to the museum as a matter of urgency. They left early this morning.

Did you see it? says Ageless. The head?

No I didn't see it, says Gaius. I was off looking for you. When I returned to the campsite, there was Sweezus, reading a note left by Arthur.

Let us hope, says Ageless piously, that Arthur takes care of the specimen. You know what he's like.

Yes, I have every faith in young Arthur, says Gaius.

.......

The Georgette drops anchor somewhere off Woody Island.

Would anyone like to go for a swim? says Ed Dempster.

Not me, says Baby Pierre. Not after yesterday. I'll just look up at the sea birds.

And it is true, there are sea birds to look up at.

Oh look, says Mary-Margaret. A Cape Barren Goose. You might like to put that in your notebook.

And there! says Andrew Demptser. A white breasted sea eagle!

Fuck! says Sweezus.

Pardon? says Mary Emily.

What luck, says Sweezus. But I think I'll go in for a swim now.

He dives into the water without waiting for further advice from the captain.

What brought that on? says Mary-Emily. He was in a hurry.

Baby Pierre knows.

Sweezus hates birds.

........

Under the water, free of sea birds, Sweezus is swimming.

He opens his eyes.

He stops swimming, extends his arms, floats redundant.

What can he see there in the dark swaying sea grasses? Something red. Something ribbony.

If he can just hold his breath long enough, he might make it down there.

He kicks his legs and heads for the bottom.

Is His Eye Out?

Sweezus stares at the grass where the tent was. Nothing. Not even the skewer.

Where did everyone go? Surely they haven't gone without him.

He walks over to the next tent, which is Ted and Sylvia's.

Ahem, he coughs before entering.

Sylvia is brewing up coffee.

Hi, says Sylvia. Come to fetch the little soldier? He's been so brave.

Ted is cradling Baby Pierre in a hankie.

Rocking him back and forth, crooning a lullaby.

Ree-ree-ree-roo-ee-oooh.

Baby Pierre is heavily bandaged.

Woah! says Sweezus. Is his eye out?

No, no, says Sylvia. It's back in now. He'll be okay.

Hello, says Baby Pierre. Is Ageless sorry?

He will be, says Sweezus. He ate the rest of the specimen.

All of it? says Baby Pierre.

Except for one black eye and a snout end, says Sweezus. Gaius will kill him.

Ooh! says Baby Pierre. Let's go then.

Bye bye, little fellow, says Ted.

By the way, says Sylvia. Your friend left a message.

She gives Sweezus a hand scribbled message, from Arthur.

.......

Sweezus and Baby Pierre are sitting outside in the sun in the spot where the tent was.

Baby Pierre's bandage is off. He looks better.

Sweezus is reading the note from Arthur.

Gone back with Ferdy. Taken the rest of the Bundy. See you in Perth.

Brilliant, thinks Sweezus. And that's not all they've taken.

Here comes Gaius, who has been looking for Ageless.

Where's our tent and equipment? asks Gaius. And more importantly, where is the specimen?

Arthur and Ferdy've taken it back to Perth, says Sweezus. They'll drop it off at the museum for DNA testing.

Excellent decision! says Gaius. Time is of the essence. Ha ha. For a while there, I feared Ageless had eaten it.

Baby Pierre opens his mouth to say something.

Sweezus holds up a finger.

Baby Pierre and I are going out on the Georgette this morning, says Sweezus.

Very good, says Gaius. Take my note book, you may spot something to add to the sum of our knowledge.

He pulls a notebook from his pocket.

Gaius's notebook. What a privilege.

Of course it's too much to ask him to also provide a pencil.

........

Am I coming? asks Baby Pierre, when Gaius has gone off again looking for Ageless.

Yes, says Sweezus. Don't say I'm not awesome.

You lied, says Baby Pierre. You lied about EVERYTHING.

I saved everyone from getting into trouble, says Sweezus.

What a red letter day.

But as usual he has not looked ahead to the future.

Kicked Out For Singing A Verb

Sunrise, Lucky Bay.

This is the morning that Ferdy will be driving the Perth Scuba van back to Perth.

But he is still sleeping. So is Arthur.

Gaius stirs. He opens his eyes. He pokes Sweezus awake.

Wha.....? says Sweezus.

Have you seen Ageless? says Gaius.

He came back last night, mumbles Sweezus.

I mean this morning, says Gaius.

Sweezus sits up. Looks around.

He gets up and pokes his head through the tent flaps.

There on the ground is a skewer, bearing telltale tatters of flesh, one black eye, one red snout end.

Not wanting to be the one to tell Gaius, he leaves the tent and starts walking.

The sun is shining, the beach is heaped with things that washed up in last night's storm.

He sits down on a pile of wet seaweed and looks out to sea.

He is not alone on the seaweed.

Kobo and Brianna are sitting at the periphery.

Hi, says Brianna. Are you looking for Baby Pierre?

No, says Sweezus. But shit! I should be!

He's in Ted and Sylvia's tent, says Brianna. WE got kicked out.

YOU got kicked out, says Kobo.

I know, says Brianna.

What for? asks Sweezus.

Just for singing. Is spaz a bad word? says Brianna.

Spaz? says Sweezus. Depends.

On what? asks Kobo.

Context, says Sweezus. How's the song go?

Hold me back I'm 'bout to spaz, says Brianna. La la la. It's by Rihanna.

Spaz is okay there, says Sweezus. It's used as a verb in that context.

Kobo looks doubtful.

Footsteps are heard crunching.

It's Mary Emily, out for a breath of fresh air.

Hello, says Mary Emily. Not packed up yet?

I don't reckon we'll be going, says Sweezus.

Good, says Mary Emily. Because I was going to ask you if you'd like to come out with us this morning.

Me? says Sweezus. On the Georgette, with you guys?

Yes, says Mary Emily. You're the only one who hasn't. And you seem like a really nice chap with no hang ups.

Sweezus is flattered. A nice chap with no hang ups.

That's not what people think normally.

Thanks, says Sweezus. I'll just go back and tell Gaius.

He heads back to where the tent was. But the tent isn't there. Nor is Perth Scuba.

Not Going To Eat The Head Anyway

Ageless lobster stands at the tent flap with the ruby sea dragon's head on a skewer.

How will he explain it?

It was Ageless......... begins Baby Pierre.

Ageless interrupts him, having thought quickly that he wasn't going to eat the head anyway.

A highly fortuitous find on the sea floor, says Ageless lobster.

Gaius is prepared to believe any explanation which involves the words highly fortuitous.

Well done, Ageless, says Gaius. May I see it?

Certainly, says Ageless, presenting the highly fortuitous head for inspection.

Fascinating, says Gaius. The snout, eye and pectoral fin are in perfect condition. What do you suppose happened to the rest of the body?

Who knows? says Ageless. It's always been savage on the benthic sea bottom.

How'd you find Baby Pierre? asks Sweezus.

I have an unerring sense of direction, says Ageless.

And Rear Admiral Bruni, says Baby Pierre. He helped us get back too. He used PEE!

Pee? says Sweezus. In the ocean? How's that work?

Pee for the wave packet, says Baby Pierre. We had to wait for it. For AGES.

Yeah? says Sweezus. Never heard of a wave packet.

I have, says Ferdy. It's a short burst or envelope of localised wave action that travels as a unit. It would've been freaking fast.

I get it, says Sweezus. Kind of like ... no.... forget it (he was thinking of surfing).

Now you've found a ruby sea dragon, says Ferdy, you might want to go back to Perth. My offer's still open.

Gaius is about to take up the offer when:

Mary-Emily sticks her head through the tent flap.

Hellooo! says Mary-Emily. So the prodigals have returned. What a night! And we've got our precious net back. Ed and Andrew are stoked. They sent you this bottle of Bundaberg Rum as a thank you.

Come in! says Gaius. Let's all drink it.

He opens the bottle and takes an unhygienic swig, passing it to Arthur, who takes another one.

At last it is Baby Pierre's turn. He has never drunk rum before.

Uglugluglug. Ooh! Haaah! He feels like a volcano!

And starts babbling, just as Ageless feared.

It was the best of times and it was the worst of times, says Baby Pierre, turning Dickensy. There were hundreds and hundreds of ruby sea dragons, all dancing and prancing, then Ageless turned up with the Rear Admiral. The ruby sea dragons cheered. We were saved! Yay! Baby Pierre has been saved by his daddy! Then the BAD Thing happened.

Ageless pokes Baby Pierre in the eye with the skewer.

Ach! Eye to eye. Cruel daddy!

Sweezus looks sympathetic.

Mary-Emily thinks: What a nice young man that is.

Baby Pierre stumbles out of the tent, and wanders about in the dark half blindly.

From Ted and Sylvia's tent he hears Brianna singing that song by Rihanna:

see all of my kindness, is taken for weakness,
hold me back i'm 'bout to spaz
la la la

You Will Be Without Everything

Dark stormy night. Lucky Bay campsite. Two o'clock in the morning.

Gaius, Arthur, Ferdy, and Sweezus sit up drinking cocoa.

I have to head home later this morning, says Ferdy.

You're leaving us? says Gaius.

You're welcome to have a lift back to Perth, says Ferdy.

Is it Monday already? asks Sweezus.

Yeah, says Ferdy.

We can't leave before the mission is over, says Gaius. Besides, we've lost two of our party.

Good on you, says Ferdy. But remember, you won't have a diving suit, or a rebreather. Or this tent or any camping equipment. Or transport.

Never mind, says Gaius. Arthur will do something about it.

Ferdy looks over at Arthur, who is looking out through the tent flap.

........

In the next tent, drinking cocoa, are Sylvia and Ted, (the ecologists), Kobo and Brianna.

Sylvia and Ted are having an argument.

Sylvia: You have no soul!

Ted: It wasn't finished:

Sylvia: That's what you say.

Ted: He loved her and she loved him his kisses sucked. Call that finished?

Sylvia: What do you girls think?

Brianna: Kobo says that about Ageless.

Ted: See?

Sylvia: A lobster and a fossilised clam! All right, what's the rest of it?

Ted: sucked out her whole past and future or tried to.

Sylvia: Hmm. Okay that's not bad.

Ted: Baby!

( he kisses her)

Sylvia: Honey!

(she bites his neck)

Kobo: Note that, Brianna.

......

In the next tent, drinking cocoa, are the Dempsters, bemoaning their net loss.

It was granddad's, says Andrew.

It might wash up on shore in the morning, says Mary-Emily.

Not likely, says Ed Dempster. It sank straight to the bottom.

More cocoa? asks Mary-Margaret.

Yes thanks, says Ed.

I'll need to get some more water, says Mary-Margaret.

I'll come with you, says Mary-Emily.

They go out of the tent with the kettle.

All that fuss over a net, says Mary-Emily. They don't care about that little lost pebble.

I know, says Mary-Margaret. It's all property, property, property....oh ! what's that moving?

They peer into the darkness, to see what it is, moving over the sand.

........

Remember how Arthur was looking out through the tent flap?

This is what he saw.

At first, nothing. Then he saw Mary-Margaret and Mary-Emily with the kettle.

He saw them stop and peer into the darkness. Then they bent down.

Mary-Margaret straightened up first, grasping a fishing net.

Mary-Emily sank to her knees.

........

So Arthur is first to herald the triumphant return of Ageless lobster and Baby Pierre from the depths of the ocean where they have spent most of the evening.

Guess what? says Arthur. They're back!

In walk Ageless and Baby Pierre. ( Not Rear Admiral Bruni, who has remained in the ocean, where his life is).

Ageless! cries Gaius. Baby Pierre!

Man, this is awesome, says Sweezus.

Gaius spots the remains of the ruby sea dragon on Ageless's skewer. Head only.

Jumping Jupiter! says Gaius. What have we here?

In And Out Of The Zone

Didier: When are you leaving?

Baby Pierre: I'm rescued. We're leaving right now.

Didier: But you're not moving.

Baby Pierre: We're waiting for a packet, no, a wave, no, an envelope....

Didier: An envelope? Down here? Are you kidding?

Rear Admiral Bruni: We're in a bit of a pickle. Would you consider...?

Didier: A lift? Normally I wouldn't.

Baby Pierre: That means YES!

Rear Admiral Bruni: Good man. You'll be rewarded for this kindness.

Didier: I know I will.

He calls up a friend ( Pogonoski ) and together they grasp the net handle in their trifurcated claspers (with bristles).

In a matter of minutes they have lifted the net and its contents to a zone just below the surface of the dark stormy waters of the Recherche Archipelago, off Lucky Bay.

You're on your own now, says Didier. Come on, Pogonoski!

What about your reward? says Baby Pierre.

No more idiots in the benthic zone, says Didier.

Ha ha! laughs his friend Pogonoski.

They turn tail and dive down to the bottom.

How snobbish.

At least we're where we want to be, says Rear Admiral Bruni.

Not quite, says Ageless lobster.

The net floats like a jellyfish just below the surface with the three of them in it.

How long till a wave packet comes?

To pass the time Rear Admiral Bruni tells Ageless and Baby Pierre about his adventures in the Recherche Archipelago.

I had an excellent hydrographer, says Rear Admiral Bruni. Name of Beautemps Beaupré. He charted these waters with the help of Lieutenant Crétin. Those were the days. Now I have to do all my own calculations.

Ageless chomps thoughtfully on the dorsal fin of the ruby sea dragon. He is saving the soft tender brood pouch for later.

........


.....terrible storms, says Rear Admiral Bruni, and had we not had to head straight for Van Diemen's Land we would have mapped the south coast well before Bass and Flinders .....

.....and then, this was 1793 you know, the officers were ardent royalists and the crew were all revolutionaries, so the voyage was fraught with tensions......

Baby Pierre has nodded off to the drone of the history lesson.

He is well asleep when Rear Admiral Bruni recounts how he died of the scurvy .......

Ageless is just about to bite into the brood pouch. Will it be full of eggs? O joy if it should be!

WHEN! along comes a wave packet-train-envelope, and it gathers them up

and it takes them ......

all the way in to the boat ramp in Lucky Bay, where it is two o'clock in the morning.

.......

The others ( Gaius, Arthur, Sweezus, Ferdy, Kobo, Brianna, Sylvia and Ted and one or two Dempsters) are huddled in tents, drinking cocoa.

No one can sleep.

The Limited Effectiveness Of Science

Rear Admiral Bruni, Ageless lobster, Baby Pierre and the half ruby sea dragon (on a skewer) are all bunched together in the fishing net, on the sea bottom.

It will keep us together, says Rear Admiral Bruni. We don't want anyone drifting off.

That's exactly what we want, says Ageless. Why aren't we moving?

We're waiting for a packet, says Baby Pierre, who has been listening, and really likes science.

That's right, little man, a wave packet or wave train, says Rear Admiral Bruni, a natural teacher.

Train? says Baby Pierre. Will it have wheels on?

No, it is more like an envelope, explains Rear Admiral Bruni.

When is it coming? asks Ageless, who doesn't like waiting.

Let me see, says Rear Admiral Bruni. He takes out a waterproof notepad and underwater pencil from his rear admiral's uniform, and starts calculating.

Baby Pierre cranes to look over his shoulder.

Rear Admiral Bruni tries to calculate E, where  E is the mean wave energy density per unit horizontal area.

It's taking ages.

Have you got another one? asks Ageless. That one isn't working.

I could try to calculate P, says Rear Admiral Bruni.

Go ahead, says Ageless, we've got nothing else to do, have we.

Baby Pierre giggles.

What's pee?

P is the wave energy flux per unit of wave crest length, says Rear Admiral Bruni. P equals pg squared over 6 pi times H squared m o Te.

Baby Pierre hopes that pee will help them get moving.

Ageless is sure it will not.

Forgive me speaking as an amateur, says Ageless, but did I just hear the word crest?

What of it? asks Rear Admiral Bruni.

And am I right in supposing that the crest of a wave is generally found on the surface? says Ageless.

Yes, I see what you mean, says Rear Admiral Bruni. We're in far too deep for this formula to be effective. What a pickle.

Don't despair, says Baby Pierre. All we need is a leg up.

But who will give us a leg up? asks Rear Admiral Bruni. Your father has frightened the ruby sea dragons away.

Ageless looks sour. Then he brightens. At least he has something to eat. He twiddles the skewer.

But my goodness. There are plenty more fish in the sea.

Here for example, although it is too murky to see him, is Didier, the chimaera, harbinger of volcanoes.

Hrch! says Didier. You still here? When are you leaving?

The rescuers have a simple answer to this question, and a question to follow the answer.

Circular Motion Gets You Nowhere

What Ageless knows:

In rescuing someone, the first task is to find them. The second is to get them back home.

Rear Admiral Bruni treads water while Ageless lifts Baby Pierre.

Baby Pierre struggles.

Relax, says Ageless. We'll get you home in a jiffy.

I'm not coming, says Baby Pierre.

.......

Baby Pierre is coming. Ageless has made it quite clear.

Baby Pierre did not want to be rescued by someone so cruel.

Ageless, his daddy,

who has bitten off the tail of the Ruby Sea Dragon in front of his eyes.

But then Ageless insisted.

........

Rear Admiral Bruni has spotted the net beside Baby Pierre and suggested it as a makeshift vessel.

It's full of holes, as nets are.

Beggars can't be choosers, says Rear Admiral Bruni. What a shame you frightened the rest of the ruby sea dragons away.

I don't see the point of it, says Ageless.

What? asks Rear Admiral Bruni.

Getting in the net, says Ageless.

Yes, says Baby Pierre. I dropped it because it was awkward.

I must pull rank here, says Rear Admiral Bruni. I do know the sea.

I know the sea, says Ageless lobster.

Me too, says Baby Pierre. I've been in it for AGES.

You know nothing, says Rear Admiral Bruni. These are the deeps. The deeper you get the smaller the circular motion of particles.

Wow, says Baby Pierre. What does that mean?

Bugger all, says Ageless. Circular motion won't get us anywhere.

That's my point, says Rear Admiral Bruni. What we must do is catch a wave packet. As waves propagate, their energy is transported as group velocity. Wave energy is calculated as one eighth p g H squared m o.

This sounds feasible, coming from a rear admiral.

Ageless and Baby Pierre climb into the net, Ageless still grasping the skewer.

With the uneaten portion of Ruby Sea Dragon, whose fate is already decided.

The Snacks From The Snackers

Rear Admiral Bruni d'Entrecasteaux : Forgive me, but your son does not look at all like you.

Ageless Lobster: There are all kinds of families.

Rear Admiral Bruni: Indeed, but one must be careful these days.

Ageless Lobster: I hope you are not insinuating that our relationship is something distasteful.

Rear Admiral Bruni: Certainly not. But I couldn't help noticing the skewers.

Ageless Lobster: Ah. They are not not for the rescue, but in case I come across a snack.

Rear Admiral Bruni: You may do, but down here they are difficult to tell from the snackers.

Ageless: I pride myself on being a competent spotter.

Rear Admiral Bruni: I'm sure you do. Watch out for that stingray!

Ageless: Where!

Rear Admiral Bruni: Only kidding. Not far now. Have you thought about how to get back?

Ageless: I had a red paper submersible, but Black Jack ruined it.

Rear Admiral Bruni: That thing?

Ageless: I laundered it, but now look. It's in tatters.

Rear Admiral Bruni: Something else will come up. It always does under the ocean.

Ageless: Look! Coming towards us!

Rear Admiral Bruni: Sea dragons! Your submersible must have attracted them!

First Ruby Sea Dragon: Have you come to watch the rescue?

Rear Admiral Bruni: Rescue of what?

Second Ruby Sea Dragon: Of Baby Pierre. Someone is coming to rescue him shortly.

Ageless: That's me. I am already here.

Rear Admiral Bruni: It is. I can attest to it.

First Ruby Sea Dragon: Ooh!

Second Ruby Sea Dragon: Ooh, super! It's happening.

Baby Pierre (from under a gaggle of ruby sea dragons): Daddy! You're here!

Ageless: My son!

Baby Pierre: I knew someone would come and find me.

Ageless: Yes, me. You knew it?

Baby Pierre: No, I didn't know it would be you. I thought you were on Woody Island, spotting ruby sea dragons, but look, there are lots of them here!

Ageless: Yes I see. Lots of them. Do you think anyone would miss a short skewerful?

First Ruby Sea Dragon: Joking right?

Ageless: Ha ha NO!

He spears the First Ruby Sea Dragon with the skewer, and attacks the Second, who flees.

Rear Admiral Bruni: I say! Rescue first.

Ageless (chomping on the bony tail of the first Sea Dragon): Rescue first? No wonder you.....

Rear Admiral Bruni: Are you about to insult me?

Ageless: Of course not.

( He was. But thought better of it, as he has no idea how to get back.)

Murder Treachery And Uncool

Baby Pierre has been on the dark ocean floor so long he can almost see things.

Dim flashes and motes. Black waving sea grasses. Blood red corals.

The awkward net.

When will Ruby Sea Dragon return with her friends to watch him being rescued?

She already has.

Baby Pierre feels himself poked by snouts, stroked by anal fins, tickled with unfurled bony tail ends.

Hee hee, stop it, squeals Baby Pierre, kicking up sand swirls.

The friends of Ruby Sea Dragon won't stop it.

They hardly ever get visitors down there.

.........

Ageless lobster has not proceeded beyond the seventh black wave when he remembers that he has no directions.

He turns back to the shore.

No one. They've all gone back to the camp site.

Drat, says Ageless, turning back to the trackless deeps and remembering his motto: Nil Regretus.

He tracks his way along the soft bottom, using the skewers as sticks.

The powerful wave energy is against him.

Ahoy! says someone, close by.

Ahoy! says Ageless. Who is it? Show yourself, coward.

'Tis me, says a gigantic black lobster. And I am no coward.

Black Jack! says Ageless, recognising Black Jack Anderson, pirate of the Archipelago.

Ageless lobster! says Black Jack. What are ye doin' here?

Looking for my son, who fell overboard this afternoon, says Ageless. I don't suppose you know anything about it?

Nay, says Black Jack. What ship was he on?

The Georgette says Ageless.

I know not of it, says Black Jack Anderson. What have ye got there? Skewers?

Aye, says Ageless. I mean, yes, skewers, and I'm keeping them.

No you ain't, says Black Jack Anderson, making a grab for the skewers.

Rip! The red patty pan is in tatters.

You blackguard! says Ageless. That was to be my submersible.

I'll give ye submersible, says Black Jack Anderson, whose temper has not been improved by being reborn as a lobster (if that's how it happened).

Black Jack is about to grasp Ageless murderously when a uniformed lobster appears from behind a large sea sponge.

Hurrah! It's rear admiral Bruni d'Entrecasteaux, known to Ageless since they were both little.

Bugger off Black Jack, says rear admiral Bruni d'Entrecasteaux. Or I'll run you through with one of these skewers.

Black Jack disappears with a tail flick, before rear admiral Bruni can avail himself of a skewer.

Ageless lobster! cries rear admiral Bruni. What are you doing in these stormy waters this treacherous night?

Looking for my son, Baby Pierre, says Ageless. I don't suppose.....

Did he fall off the Georgette this afternoon, asks rear admiral Bruni.

He did, says Ageless. Have you seen him?

We have all seen him, says rear admiral Bruni.

Take me to him, says Ageless. Is it far?

Very far, says rear admiral Bruni. So let us start walking.

Walking. That's not very cool.

Red Black-Eyed And Bony

Baby Pierre thinks it must be night time.

But how would he know?

It's dark on the benthic sea floor.

He can feel the sea grasses moving, this way, that way.

Hrch-hrch, is that what they say?

No, that's not the sea grasses.

It's Didier, who has come down to mock him.

Hrch! Bonsoir little pebble. Dark isn't it.

Baby Pierre ignores Didier.

But perhaps that is foolish.

He might know the time.

What time is it? asks Baby Pierre casually, as though he is asking the general surroundings.

Who wants to know? asks Didier.

No one, says Baby Pierre. But if someone did, what time would it be?

Time to ask what the time is, says Didier.

Don't tease him, says Ruby Sea Dragon.

Did anyone else drop by this afternoon? asks Baby Pierre. Someone pretty?

No, says Didier. Just the net, yesterday.

I'm pretty, says Ruby Sea Dragon.

She is, agrees Didier. Red, black-eyed and bony.

Are you waiting for someone? asks Ruby Sea Dragon.

Yes, says Baby Pierre, I'm waiting for my rescue.

Can I watch? asks Ruby Sea Dragon.

Yes, says Baby Pierre. It should be any minute.

Can I bring my friends? asks Ruby Sea Dragon.

Yes, says Baby Pierre.

He thinks it will be nice to be surrounded by pretty red sea dragons.

.........

Ageless is aghast to learn that Baby Pierre has fallen overboard.

And nobody seems to have cared.

He fell in? says Ageless.

Yes, says Andrew Dempster. We didn't worry too much. We thought Arthur would see him.

And he didn't? says Ageless heavily.

No I didn't, says Arthur.

And then a storm blew up, says Mary-Emily.

Excuses, excuses.

Sylvia and Ted the ecologists are listening. They don't like what they hear.

Someone has drowned and no one has done anything.

Shall we call the coastguard? asks Sylvia.

No, says Ageless. I'll rescue him.

You! says Gaius. I thought you couldn't go down there.

Yeah, says Sweezus. Too deep.

I don't normally, says Ageless, but in the circumstances.

Do be careful, says Kobo.

Skewers! says Ageless, taking manly charge of the situation.

He is looking at Arthur. Does Arthur still have the skewers?

Arthur reaches deep into his shorts pocket. And pulls out a handful of skewers.

Ageless takes the skewers, and wrapping the red patty pan round them skitters into the roiling spitting shallows. Seconds later, he disappears below the black surging waves.

Good, says Gaius. I'll be glad to get Baby Pierre back without doing anything.

Sweezus, Arthur and Ferdy, Kobo, Brianna and the Dempsters feel much the same way.

Even the ecologists Sylvia and Ted have to agree it's a happy solution.

Mystic Horrors, Violet Clots

Gaius, Sweezus, Ferdy and two Dempsters are waiting anxiously at the boat ramp.

My boat, groans Ed Dempster. And my fool of a brother!

Is that them? asks Ferdy, pointing seawards.

They appear to be sinking, says Gaius.

And rising, says Sweezus. It's heaps wavy.

Quite a big swell, says Mary-Margaret.

The Georgette surges towards them, and crashes into the boat ramp.

Crunch. Andrew Dempster leaps out.

Everyone helps pull the Georgette to safety.

Mary-Emily disembarks neatly, followed by Arthur, the string and Brianna.

Camera? says Ferdy.

Andrew Dempster reaches in and throws him the camera.

Phew, says Ferdy. And where's the rebreather?

Here, says Arthur. It was no good.

I bet you went down too far, says Sweezus.

He did, says Brianna. And guess what. We lost Baby Pierre overboard.

but I got a blank space baby
and I'll write your name la la la .......I think I'll go to Perth now, and get polished

I know that song. Blank Space. Taylor Swift! says Sweezus. It's awesome.

I love her, says Brianna.

I don't know her, says Mary-Emily. Is she one of the new young ones?

Honestly! says Mary-Margaret. Get real, everyone. There's been a man overboard.

Yes, says Gaius. One of my men. And the only one who can breathe under water.

I can breathe under water, says Brianna. Well, no I can't but I don't need to. And HE doesn't need to.

That's a good point, says Gaius. It doesn't matter how long we take to accomplish his rescue.

No, it doesn't, says Brianna. Because you'll never find him. Everything moves, under water.

She's right, says Arthur. I was down there. It was delirium, slow rhythms, bitter redness.

Are you okay? asks Sweezus.

The low sun spotted with mystic horrors, lighting up with long violet clots, says Arthur.

He's not okay, says Sweezus. Arthur? Arthur?

I am, says Arthur. Look at the sky.

And truly, Arthur is only describing what's in plain view in highly poetical language.

( He IS that French poet, thinks Mary-Emily Dempster. And on our boat. What an epiphany!)

It is getting dark, and still they are standing with their feet in the water.

Two bicycles approach, on the sand, wheeled by two ecologists.

Gaius! croaks Ageless, from the bicycle basket of Sylvia.

Ageless! says Gaius. Were you successful?

Ageless thinks about the question.

Was he successful? Should he answer in front of these people? Kobo might kill him.

Yes, says Ageless modestly. We had our private moments. Sweet and creamy.

Not that, says Gaius. The ruby sea dragon! Did you spot one?

Not exactly, says Ageless. But I have a plan. I have fashioned a submersible contraption.

He waves the red paper patty pan at Gaius. It's now crumbless.

If you think... says a voice from inside Sylvia's back pack.

Sylvia lifts Kobo out, and places her on the sand. Then Ageless.

If you think... begins Kobo again.

Now my dearest, says Ageless. Fear not. I've been thinking. It's a job that suits Baby Pierre.

Silence, followed by more silence.

What? says Ageless. Where is he? Where has my boy gone?

The Tragic Disappearance Of Baby Pierre

It doesn't take long to realise what has happened.

Brianna had been all tangled up in Arthur's string.

In fact it had somehow threaded its way through her drill hole.

Which means she is in the water halfway between Arthur and the ship's captain, safely attached to the string.

But Baby Pierre is not to know that.

Brianna! he cries.

He leans over the railing and falls into the water.

He drops like a pebble, past a helpless Brianna and the slowly descending Arthur to the soft waving seagrasses on the benthic sea floor.

......

Brianna, watching him dropping,  knows she won't see him again.

She remembers Taylor Swift's song:

we are never ever getting
back together, like ever, la la la.

Sadly she can't even sing it, with her hole so full of string.

.......

Arthur too is descending to dangerous levels.

Down down deep dark and dangerous levels.

Down, past Didier and his cohorts.

Down, past the giggly ruby sea dragon.

Past two hundred and sixty three species of fish and three hundred and forty seven species of molluscs.

Past four hundred and fifty types of sponge and soft coral.

Down to the rhodoliths (coral-like algae) where marine spiders, snails and worms share a bed with baby scallops.

And now, also with Baby Pierre and the net from the fishing tackle box of the vessel Georgette.

Yes, Baby Pierre has landed next to the net that he dropped yesterday.

Baby Pierre wonders how long it will be before he is rescued.

He can't see Arthur above him, but he knows he is there.

.........

Arthur's head is exploding in fearsome red and black flashings.

His rebreather is useless.

He is at the far end of his string.

Just before he passes out he feels himself being pulled slowly upwards.

........

Now Arthur is back on board the Georgette, along with Brianna.

Are you all right? says Mary-Emily, patting his face.

Arthur knows that he can't be. He should have the bends.

But he is all right.

Individual susceptibility to decompression sickness can vary from day to day, and today is a good day for Arthur.

Did you see a ruby sea dragon? asks Andrew Dempster.

No, says Arthur.

Did you see poor Baby Pierre? asks Brianna.

No, says Arthur. What happened?

He fell in, says Brianna. I'm so sad. I'll never see him again.

Was he special? asks Mary-Emily.

Yes, says Brianna.

Yes, he was, says Arthur. He was a courageous pebble. He bore the Mark of the Claw, and believed he was the son of Ageless lobster. He was good at paintball and cycling. He had his own bicycle with green o-ring tyres, and he could do tricks on it. He was an atheist and a free thinker.

Andrew Dempster, Mary-Emily, and Brianna are crying for Baby Pierre, lost at sea, drowned tragically.

The sky has turned dark.

Their tears fall into the water and mingle with the stormy waters of the Recherche Archipelago which boast the most extreme wave energy in Australia.

Thruuuum! Thruuuum! Thruuuum!

(This could turn out to be a good thing).

The Irresponsible Captain

Mid afternoon. Ageless and Kobo arrive at the Esperance backpackers.

Hello Ageless! says Natalie. Did you know you'd forgotten your hat?

She reaches under the desk and retrieves it.

His red knitted hat.

Ageless puts down the greasy red paper patty pan.

Would you like me to get rid of this for you? asks Natalie.

Yes, please, says Kobo.

NO! says Ageless. I'd like you to wash it.

I don't do washing, says Natalie. But there's a tap outside.

Tch! says Ageless. He picks up the patty pan and goes outside to begin the difficult business of scraping and rinsing the crumbs off without damaging the delicate paper.

Something women are better qualified to do.

Where are you heading? asks Natalie.

Lucky Bay, says Kobo. With the others.

Your friends left yesterday, says Natalie. But someone else is sure to be going. Shall I see if I can find you a lift?

That would be lovely, says Kobo.

Ageless comes in, leaving a trail of red spots on the tiles.

..........

Half an hour later, Ageless and Kobo are heading towards Lucky Bay, in different sections of the same vehicle.

Kobo is in the backpack of Sylvia, a young woman cyclist, and Ageless is in Sylvia's bicycle basket.

Sylvia is riding to Lucky Bay with her boyfriend Ted.

Ted and Sylvia are ecologists.

But we don't need to know that. They are just modes of transport. At least Sylvia is. Ted is even less relevant. Is he even a proper ecologist? He looks like a poet.

It is early evening before they arrive.

..........

Meanwhile Arthur is out on the Georgette with Andrew and Mary-Emily Dempster.

The rain has stopped, but the wind has got up and the waves look stroppy.

Can't stay out here too long, says Andrew Dempster.

Perhaps we should head back now, says Mary-Emily.

Bur Andrew wants to give the young scientist a chance to find the ruby sea dragon.

So he is willing to be an irresponsible captain.

Get yourself down there, says Andrew Dempster. I'll tug on the string if you need to come up in a hurry.

This is not what the string is for actually.

Arthur does a quick mental calculation.

The string is thirty metres. That means he can go further down into dangerous territory. He might have dazzling hallucinations. Anything could happen.

Baby Pierre is worried. That was his string.

But Arthur has already toppled gracefully backwards into the slapping spitting water.

And holy moley! Where is Brianna?

The Lure Of The Shipwreck

Next morning Gaius sleeps in.

All that diving. All that excitement.

The terrible omen.

He wakes up at noon.

It's raining slightly, at the Lucky Bay Camp site.

Gaius lies in his sleeping bag, listening to the rain, and the conversation of his fellow campers.

Sweezus: Rain. Fuck it.

Ferdy: It's not that heavy.

Sweezus: I hate rain.

Arthur: Why?

Sweezus: It wets you.

Arthur: But it doesn't stain.

Ferdy: That's a good point.

Sweezus; Yeah, imagine if it stained. Rain that stained. Then no one could go anywhere.

Arthur: If the stains were orange, you could go somewhere.

Sweezus (looking down at his orange Bender Mash beach shorts) : Yeah. That's just the shorts dude. What about if I got orange spotted hair?

Ferdy: You wouldn't look that much different.

Arthur: No, you wouldn't.

Sweezus: You saying I'm some kind of ranga?

Ferdy: No way. Just that orange spots wouldn't show up much on brown.

Sweezus: What if it rained purple?

Arthur (looking down at his purple Brave Soul Paisley Skull shorts): I'd be all right then.

Sweezus: Yeah, man, you'd be laughing. I'd look like I'd sat on some grapes.

Gaius decides to break into the conversation, rather than join it.

Gaius: Arthur, what do you say to a spot of diving? I'd let you borrow the diving suit and the rebreather.

Sweezus: He's coming surfing. That's if the rain stops.

Gaius: Nonsense. The mission comes first. And I can't go out on the Georgette for a very good reason.

Arthur: What is it?

Gaius: I prefer not to say. But then again, perhaps it's my duty to warn you. A chimaera has been spotted. And we all know what that means. A shipwreck. Or a volcano.

Arthur: I'll definitely go then.

Gaius; Good man. Don't forget Baby Pierre and the string and the camera.

The rain stops. The sun comes out.

Sweezus and Ferdy head off down the beach for some surfing.

They pass a kangaroo, sunbaking.

No kidding. That's what they do.

Arthur collects Baby Pierre, the string and the camera, and goes down to the boat ramp.

Wee! says Baby Pierre. It'll be more fun with you coming.

There might be a shipwreck, says Arthur.

We'll be all right under the water, says Baby Pierre.

So will I, says Brianna, from inside the tangle of string.

Today only Andrew Dempster and Mary Emily are going out on the Georgette.

Mary-Emily is glad to see Arthur.

She is certain that he's that French poet.

........

Ageless and Kobo are on their way back to Esperance after spending the night on Woody Island.

Ageless is carefully clutching the paper patty pan he retained from Kobo's morning tea cupcake.

It is red, and lined on the inside with a layer of greasy brown crumbs.

It reminds him of his red knitted hat which he has left behind somewhere.

He mentions it.

You didn't bring that ridiculous hat! exclaims Kobo.

It's very useful, says Ageless. But I've mislaid it.

Good, says Kobo. And why are you keeping that patty pan?

You'll see, sweetheart, says Ageless. Once you've washed it, you'll see. A pretty little vehicle for a beautiful lady.

I don't do washing, says Kobo.

Do Not Speak The Name

Gaius and Baby Pierre are back on board the Georgette.

Where's the net? says the captain.

I dropped it, says Baby Pierre. It wasn't my fault. It was heavy.

Those nets don't come cheap, says the captain.

You'll be reimbursed, says Gaius.

Did you SEE anything? asks Brianna.

No, says Baby Pierre, but I learned something. The name of the chimaera.

Do not speak it, says Gaius.

Tell ME, says Brianna.

Baby Pierre whispers the name of the chimaera to Brianna

Didier.

Brianna finds it hard to keep a secret.

Di-di-di-u-u-uh, sings Brianna.

That's better, says Mary-Margaret. I didn't like that other station.

I'm not a radio, says Brianna. Where did you think my knobs were?

That hole, says Mary-Margaret. But then, I'm not up with the latest technology.

That's my DRILL hole, says Brianna. It would be pretty hard to turn a DRILL hole.

I'm sorry, says Mary-Margaret. But I'm also glad.

Why? asks Brianna.

Perhaps I shouldn't be, says Mary-Margaret. I was thinking you might do requests.

I might, says Brianna. Do you like Marlisa?

Gaius has had enough of these trivialities.

Did you speak it? he asks Baby Pierre.

Only to her, says Baby Pierre sulkily.

Why does it matter? asks Andrew Dempster.

He believes in omens, says Mary-Emily. He said so.

I do, says Gaius. And so should you. It may augur a shipwreck.

Captain Ed knits his brow and gives orders for the Georgette to return to Lucky Bay immediately.

..........

On the way back, Mary-Emily explains something to Gaius.

The Dempsters are very conscious of shipwrecks, says Mary-Emily.

Who isn't? says Gaius.

We are particularly, says Mary-Emily. Our boat is named after a famous one, in which the Dempsters played a heroic role. And also the Bussells.

Do tell, says Gaius, politely.

It was the 29th of November 1876, says Mary-Emily. The Georgette went ashore midway between Cape Naturaliste and Cape Hamelin. James and William Dempster were on board, with a cargo of jarrah. The boat started sinking.

Gaius nods. Jarrah. No wonder.

Grace Bussell rode her horse down a cliff and into the water to help with the rescue. James and William helped save some of the passengers. Twelve people drowned.

Dear me, says Gaius, suppressing a shiver.

I myself am a Bussell, says Mary-Emily.

Indeed, says Gaius.

He makes a mental note not to go diving tomorrow.

Perhaps he'll send Arthur.

See Those Legs Up There

It's dive number two, from the Georgette, in the Recherche Archipelago.

Gaius has turned on the camera.

He has lowered Baby Pierre and the camera into the water, on the string.

He has tumbled in backwards gracefully, as before, and is hovering at eighteen metres, hoping for a significant capture.

A leafy sea dragon floats by.

Gaius ignores it.

Baby Pierre has stopped at forty eight metres. This time he can see by the light of the camera.

The chimaera fulva rises from the darkness below him.

Hello jail bait, says the chimaera fulva.

I'm not BAIT, says Baby Pierre. You are.

Hrch! says the chimaera. Got your camera working? Take my picture.

Baby Pierre points the camera. He photographs the chimaera fulva. His thin deciduous skin, silvery pink to pale brownish in colour, his short dorsal spine, his long claspers.

How do I look? asks the chimaera.

Ugly, says Baby Pierre.

Relative to what? asks the chimaera.

To what I'm looking for, says Baby Pierre. A ruby sea dragon. Have you seen one?

I know one, says the chimaera. Why are you looking?

See those legs up there, says Baby Pierre. That's Gaius. He's a natural historian. He's trying to spot one.

Hrch! says the chimaera. So it's for science?

Yes, for science, says Baby Pierre.

Wait here, says the chimaera.

Baby Pierre waits for what seems like minutes.

The water is cold.

His camera is rolling.

A maroon coloured sea dragon appears darting towards him. O magic!

Above him, Gaius tugs on the string.

........

On board the Georgette everyone crowds round the camera.

What's this one? says Gaius.

A chimaera, says Captain Ed. They're commonly caught by the deepwater trawlers.

Gaius turns pale.

A chimaera!

What's up? says Mary-Margaret. You look awfully pale.

It's nothing,says Gaius. Perhaps we should call it a day though. This may be an omen.

What nonsense, says Mary-Margaret.

You may think so, says Gaius.

I do think so, says Mary-Margaret.

Look at this one! says Andrew Dempster. What is it?

That's the ruby sea dragon! says Baby Pierre. I TOLD you.

The ruby sea dragon! Let me see! says Gaius.

He looks at the picture.

So it's true. There are ruby sea dragons down there.

Now all that remains is to catch one.

........

Dive three.

Baby Pierre is once again suspended at forty eight metres by string.

He is holding a net, borrowed from the fishing tackle box on board the Georgette.

It's difficult.

He can hear the sound of one chimaera growling.

Hrch!

And one ruby sea dragon laughing.

ah ha ah ha oh ah oh Didier!

Didier! So that's his name.

Information like that could turn out to be useful for science.

The Imaginary Camera

Baby Pierre descends through the darkening waters. He is strapped to a camera, and tied to a string.

Above him, he can just make out Gaius receding.

Gaius is performing an action. What is it?

Baby Pierre doesn't know.

Gaius has stopped at a sensible depth of eighteen metres, and waited for Baby Pierre, who has rapidly passed him.

Gaius has waved to Baby Pierre.

Baby Pierre has not responded.

Gaius has realised that Baby Pierre does not know how to work the camera.

He gesticulates hoping that Baby Pierre will look up.

He mimics a man holding a camera. He waggles his finger.

He extends his arm, bends it at the elbow and plunges his finger towards the ON button of the imaginary camera.

It's the best he can do. He hopes Baby Pierre has been watching.

Baby Pierre hasn't.

Baby Pierre reaches a depth of forty eight metres (thirty metres below Gaius) and comes to a halt.

Hello jail bait, says an invisible sea creature.

Cheek! says Baby Pierre. I bet I'm much older than you are.

Hrch! says the invisible sea creature (a chimaera fulva).

Can you see me? asks Baby Pierre?

Course I can, says the chimaera.

Can you see anything else? asks Baby Pierre.

Yes, says the chimaera. Want to know what?

What? says Baby Pierre.

Sharks, stingrays, catfish, scorpionfish, flathead, velvetfish, old wives, boarfish and stargazers, says the chimaera. And we've all got venomous spines.

Anything else? asks Baby Pierre, hoping he might say red seadragons.

Your pathetic string, says the chimaera. And the Canon G16 in its Fantasea housing. Why don't you turn it on?

Can you see a button? asks  Baby Pierre.

Nope, says the chimaera. Maybe it's broken.

It would still have a button, says Baby Pierre.

Hrch! says the chimaera, and starts swimming away.

Gaius remembers that he has Baby Pierre on a string, and can therefore control him..

He starts reeling him upwards.

........

Back on board the Georgette, Gaius and Baby Pierre are debriefing.

Not bad for a first dive, says Gaius. Pity about the camera. This is the button.

I see, says Baby Pierre. But I couldn't have turned it on anyhow.

You need to turn it on before he hits the water, says Captain Ed.

Yes I know that now, says Gaius. Thanks for the input.

Did you see anything interesting? asks Mary-Emily.

No, says Baby Pierre. I couldn't see anything. But I heard something. It had a venomous spine.

Fascinating, says Gaius. I would kill for a pencil.

Spine! says Brianna, and at once she starts singing some more of the song by Beyoncé:

and I don't really need these fingers
if I don't get to touch your spine
la la la la.......

Ven-om-ous, Brianna! says Baby Pierre. Do you know what that means?

well I don't need these legs
if I ain't walking by your side.... sings Brianna.

She isn't even listening.

Mary-Emily is listening.

She's becoming more and more certain that Brianna is some new kind of ipod.

Sweet Reason And Perilous Enterprise

Ageless and Kobo have stopped running.

Time for a paddle, says Ageless.

Kobo is breathless.

Uh-huh, uh-huh, says Kobo. Let's sit down first.

They sit near a stand of tall trees and look out over the sheltered bay and rocky headland..

After we've paddled, says Kobo, shouldn't we go back to the visitor centre, for our free morning tea?

I thought we might miss it, says Ageless. I thought we might go out on the jetty. I thought....

You have over-thought this, says Kobo. I am hungry for cupcakes.

Cupcakes, says Ageless. Do you think that is what they will have?

Of course they'll have cupcakes, says Kobo. And tea and coffee. Also in cups. It stands to reason.

Ageless had been thinking along the lines of biscuits.

He brightens up.

Perhaps the loss of Pepper's purple basket need not be the end of the mission.

Not if cups are available.

Then my sweet creamy sweetness, says Ageless. Let us go for our cupcakes.

They pick their way back to the visitor centre, (avoiding treacherous shearwater burrows) .

.........

Gaius is on board the Georgette, chatting with the Dempsters, as they head out for deep waters.

Yerp, says Ed Dempster. The Dempsters have been in Esperance for as long as anyone can remember.

Except the indigenous custodians, says Mary-Margaret. No doubt they can remember....

Yerp, says Ed Dempster, but I'm talking about proper history. The history of the Dempsters. There's a monument to us in Esperance. There were four of us brothers.

Really? says Gaius. This monument, is it to honour your deeds?

Yerp, says Andrew Dempster. We were explorers before we were farmers. We opened up the country. We farmed sheep for a long while.

Until they all got coast disease, says Mary-Emily.

How terrible, says Gaius. What is coast disease?

What sheep get when soil lacks cobalt, says Ed Dempster.

Cobalt? says Gaius. How very interesting. I should like to make a minor note of it. I don't suppose any of you have a pencil?

No. None of them have a pencil.

But now they are over deep waters.

You can dive in from here, says Andrew Dempster. You and your little off-sider.

Gaius sits up on the railing facing inwards.

He is ready to dive, but Oh wait! Baby Pierre is not ready.

You forgot the STRING, says Baby Pierre. I'm not going down without it.

No! says Brianna. You wouldn't get up again. You'd sink to the bottom. You'd be lost among the creepy old jelly white bottom feeders.

Give him here, says Gaius. I haven't forgotten the string.

Mary-Emily hands him Baby Pierre, the strap and the camera in its Fantasea housing.

Gaius reaches down to pull from his backpack the thirty metre ball of string that he hasn't forgotten.

Phew! says Baby Pierre, when Gaius has tied it. Now I'm ready.

The Dempsters watch as Gaius tumbles backwards gracefully into the water.

Plop. Splash.

What about me? says Baby Pierre. Shouldn't I.........

Jerk!

Baby Pierre and the camera are jolted sharply against the ship's railing.

Loosen him up there, Mary-Margaret, says Captain Ed. Drop him over.

Mary-Margaret obeys the captain.

Soon Baby Pierre is descending rather quickly. Past Gaius, waving.

Dropping, dropping.

The camera is heavy.

The clear waters become blacker.

Is there a light?

Baby Pierre doesn't know.

Nor how to turn on the camera.

The Tuneful Voyage

In Lucky Bay, Arthur has gone down to the boat ramp.

The Dempsters are launching their boat.

Nice boat, observes Arthur.

Yerp, says Ed Dempster. She's a good 'un.

The Georgette, says Arthur, persevering.

Yerp, says Andrew Dempster. Not as good as the old one.

Come on Ed, says Mary-Margaret Dempster. We don't have all day.

Yerp, says Charles Dempster. I do know that, Mary-Margaret.

Mary-Emily Dempster meanwhile is looking closely at Arthur.

Aren't you .....that poet? she asks.

No, says Arthur.

You look just like him, says Mary-Emily.

I'm from the museum, says Arthur. We're looking for ruby sea dragons. That's my boss over there, getting into his diving suit.

Ed and Andrew Dempster turn to look at Arthur's boss, who is struggling into a diving suit while Ferdy holds out the rebreather.

Is that a rebreather? asks Ed.

Yes, says Arthur. The ruby sea dragon lives at a depth of around fifty metres.

Rebreathers are good, says Mary-Margaret. No bubbles.

Not that good, Mary, says Ed. They don't work below eighteen metres.

Andrew Dempster has noticed that the boss doesn't seem to have marine transport.

Would he like a lift out? asks Andrew Dempster. We're just going.

He would, says Arthur. And his off sider too, if you wouldn't mind taking one extra.

Is it you, dear, the off sider? asks Mary-Emily, who still thinks Arthur looks like that French poet, and would love him to be the off sider.

No, says Arthur. I'm going to set up the camp site. The offsider's Baby Pierre. He'll be going down the remaining thirty metres, with an underwater camera.

Okay, says Ed. Tell 'em to get their arses over here.

Ed! says Mary Margaret.

Arthur goes back to tell Gaius the Georgette is ready to take him.

The Dempsters wait, with varying degrees of impatience.

.........

Ten minutes later.

This is most kind, says Gaius, settling down as comfortably as is possible in complicated diving equipment.

Ouch.

Careful! barks Ed Dempster (the captain).

Sorry, says Gaius. This is rather awkward.

It would be, says Mary-Emily. Why didn't you wait until the last minute?

I needed Ferdy to help me, says Gaius. It's his equipment. Have I damaged it?

No, it's fine, says Andrew Dempster. Is Ferdy your off sider?

Baby Pierre, says Mary-Margaret. Don't you listen?

Baby Pierre. Where is he? asks Andrew Dempster.

Here! squeaks Baby Pierre from under the Canon G16 digital camera and Fantasea housing which Gaius has plonked down on the decking.

Ee! says Mary-Emily. There's something wrong with the camera!

That will be Baby Pierre, says Gaius. He's strapped to it.

No one is strapped to it, says Mary-Emily.

She lifts up the underwater camera.

Hah! says Mary-Margaret. It has a wee stone in it.

She attempts to undo the strap.

Baby Pierre drops out. Followed by Brianna.

And a pretty wee shell, adds Mary-Margaret.

Gaius is annoyed to see Brianna. She will distract Baby Pierre from his purpose.

Yes there she goes already, singing:

I wake up just to sleep with you
I open my eyes so I could see with you
la la la la

That's Beyoncé! says Mary-Emily. Where's it coming from?

The wee shell! says Mary-Margaret.

(She says wee a lot, being married to a man who is Scottish).

To Run With a Big Woman

Right! How beautiful is this! says Ferdy, when the Perth Scuba van pulls up in Lucky Bay.

Very nice, says Gaius.

This is not high enough praise for Ferdy.

World's clearest water, says Ferdy.

That's useful, says Gaius.

Ferdy turns to Arthur and Sweezus, who are looking more suitably impressed.

Surfing! says Sweezus, who has spotted people surfing.

Camping! says Arthur, who likes camping, and finding a use for his skewers.

Yes, in Lucky Bay, people are surfing and camping, and launching their boats from the boat ramp, into waters that are unusually crystalline.

The second most beautiful place in Western Australia, says Ferdy proudly.

Second most! says Baby Pierre. Who says so?

Australian Traveller, says Ferdy. Two thousand and nine.

Wow, says Brianna. That a lot of Australian Travellers.

No, says Ferdy. That was the date that they said it.

Oh, says Brianna. Did they all say it?

Gaius is already thinking about the logistics of deep water diving.

Shouldn't he have some sort of boat?

Arthur, says Gaius, I know you're keen to rush off and start camping, but it occurs to me that we're in need of a boat.

Leave it to me, says Arthur. He goes down to the boat ramp.

Show us the underwater camera, says Sweezus to Ferdy.

Ferdy pulls it out of its box.

It's a Canon Powershot G16 digital camera in Fantasea Canon G16 Housing.

Oh man, says Sweezus. I always wanted to use one of those.

Baby Pierre comes over to look at the camera in the Fantasea Housing.

It looks enormous. He is not a large pebble.

It's too big for Baby Pierre, says Brianna. He won't manage it.

Pooh, says Baby Pierre. I have managed a BICYCLE!

Let her make up a song about that!

.........

The boat has arrived at Twiggy's Landing on Woody Island.

Ageless has gallantly lifted Kobo out of the purple basket with high handles.

Pepper has picked up her basket, and gone off with her mummy.

Pity, says Ageless.

What's a pity? asks Kobo.

That basket, says Ageless. You could have ..... but no.

What? says Kobo.

Nothing, says Ageless. Hurry up my precious. There's so much to see here. Would you like to go paddling?

All right, says Kobo. And I should like to hold hands and run with you.

Oh! Oh ! ejaculates Ageless. Would you? He has almost forgotten his plans to lower her in a basket to the depths of the ocean to spot ruby sea dragons.

Somehow. If he can recover the basket from Pepper.

Yes, says Kobo. Ideally my fantasy is to run with a woman. A big one. Like the women in Picasso's painting.

Click, click, says Ageless. Your fantasies are overwhelming! Let us run now, and paddle later.

They start to run holding hands. Neither of them has real ones.

Smelling Normal And Naturally Lucky

Kobo is loving the half day island cruise.

It's so lovely, says Kobo. All these islands.

We're going to Woody Island, says a small girl, sitting beside her.

I know, says Kobo. And we're having afternoon tea.

Morning tea, says the little girl's mother.

Funny, says Kobo, my companion distinctly said afternoon tea, but on reflection, he must have been mistaken.

Ha ha yes, laughs mummy. It's a half day cruise. Unless you're both thinking of staying.

No, no, says Kobo.

You're a SHELL! says the little girl.

I'm a fossilised clam, says Kobo.

Do you want to sit in my basket, Mrs. Fossiclam? asks the little girl.

Why thank you, says Kobo. And you may call me Kobo.

The little girl lifts Kobo into her basket which is purple and has a high handle.

My name is Pepper, says the little girl. But you can call me Peppa.

Kobo is immediately sorry that she has allowed herself to be placed in a basket. Now she can't see.

And Ageless can't see her.

Ageless has come back from the front of the boat where he has been glaring down into the sea depths and seen nothing but water.

And now: where is his beloved? Instead of her, a purple basket with a high handle is sitting where she used to be.

Excuse me, says Ageless to Pepper. Is this your basket?

Yes, says Pepper. This is my basket. It's from my home. And I have a Kobo inside it. Want to see?

Yes, says Ageless. I have reason to believe that it may be my Kobo.

Kobo is annoyed at the possessive.

.........

Meanwhile, at the Esperance Backpackers, Arthur has returned from his swim, smelling normal.

Okay, says Ferdy. Are we all good to go?

They all pile into Perth Scuba, and set off towards Lucky Bay.

Lucky Bay is in the Cape le Grand National Park, forty five minutes from Esperance.

It's a beautiful drive, and Ferdy is driving.

Gaius looks out of the window at the massive granite and gneiss peaks rising from the coastal plain.

It reminds him of Margaret. Thank Jupiter she isn't here!

Imagine her organising everything.

Instead, it is all working out rather well.

Sweezus has come up with the string that is needed for Baby Pierre to be lowered to a suitable depth for spotting a ruby sea dragon. Baby Pierre will ......wait a minute......what will he do if he sees one?

It occurs to Gaius as he looks out of the window at the rolling heath lands where there are as yet no wild flowers because it is April and not June-to-November, (not that he cares), that Baby Pierre ought to be given a camera.

Arthur! says Gaius.

What? says Arthur, who has been talking to Sweezus and laughing at the idea of Terence in a Peruvian hat with side flaps.

I don't suppose you could get me an underwater camera? says Gaius.

Hey, no worries, says Ferdy, who was listening. I've got one in the back.

And so there you go. When is Arthur ever not lucky?

A Vomit Dissolving Swim

Ageless and Kobo have departed for Taylor Jetty and their romantic half day island cruise.

Gaius is standing outside the backpackers, discussing the finer points of diving with Ferdy.

Sure, says Ferdy. The less bubbles you blow out the less you'll frighten the sea dragons.

Wonderful, says Gaius. But bubbles rise to the surface. And I shall be floating thirty metres above the natural habitat of the sea dragons. Where's the advantage?

You could go down a bit lower, says Ferdy. But not thirty metres. You need an atmospheric diving suit, really.

Far too expensive, says Gaius. But Ageless gave me an idea, though.

The lobster? says Ferdy.

Yes, he seemed to be thinking of sending Kobo down on a string, as a spotter, says Gaius.

The fossilised clam? says Ferdy.

Yes, says Gaius. Are you following me?

No, says Ferdy. The clam went with the lobster on an Island Cruise. Remember?

Gaius remembers that Ferdy has not yet met Baby Pierre.

Here he comes now, with Brianna.

Baby Pierre, says Gaius, what would you say to joining me on my diving expedition?

Wowee! Lucky! says Brianna.

Yay! says Baby Pierre. I TOLD you.

Indeed, says Gaius. All we need is some string. Where is Arthur?

But Arthur has gone down to the beach for a vomit-dissolving swim.

Sweezus emerges, looking preoccupied.

Hi dude! says Ferdy. We meet again.

Dude! You made it! says Sweezus. Good on you. Did you bring the rebreather?

Yep, says Ferdy, But apparently we're short of some string.

No worries, says Sweezus. I'll ask Natalie.

He goes back inside.

Natalie, says Sweezus. Got any string?

Sure, in the drawer somewhere, says Natalie. How much string?

Dunno, says Sweezus. He goes back outside to find out the required length of string.

Thirty metres, says Sweezus, on returning.

Oooh, says Natalie doubtfully. That's a shitload of string.

Sweezus grins. Yeah, a shitload.

Nice to see you smiling, says Natalie. You looked sad earlier.

Mm, says Sweezus. I was talking to my little mate Terence. He's in Melbourne, at the Marxism Conference.

Cool, I wanted to go to that, says Natalie. How's it going?

He's been shopping, says Sweezus. With his so-called grandpa.

So-called? says Natalie. That sounds creepy.

Karl Marx, says Sweezus. He thinks he's his grandpa. Marx went mental at the conference and took Terence shopping.

Shopping, says Natalie. That's heaps funny. What did he buy?

One of those Peruvian hats with the side flaps, says Sweezus.

They're awesome, says Natalie. He'll love it. Oh look! Here's a big ball of string!

Thanks, Natalie, says Sweezus. How much do I owe you?

Nothing at all, says Natalie. All property is theft in the long run. And I don't know whose it is.

Wicked, says Sweezus, going out with the string to show Gaius that he can be relied on.

Lying Ecstatic Being Scratched Lazily

Munglinup is only an hour out of Esperance.

Arthur and Ferdy pull up outside the Esperance YHA Backpackers just as Gaius is emerging to cast an eye on the day.

Arthur! says Gaius. And this will be....?

Ferdy, says Ferdy. You'll be the Perth Museum guy, yeah?

Not exactly, says Gaius. I am only associated with the Perth Museum insofar as I am engaged in some early reconnaissance.

He knows, says Arthur. I told him. We've brought you the diving gear. And the rebreather.

Excellent, says Gaius. How far down can I go?

Eighteen metres, says Ferdy. Not bad, is it!

Hmm, says Gaius. The habitat of the ruby sea dragon is deeper.

How deep? asks Ferdy.

Fifty metres, says Gaius. There may be a problem.

Ageless has come out of the backpackers and is standing behind him.

It won't be a problem, says Ageless. I'm here.

You haven't done anything so far, says Gaius.

This morning, says Ageless, Kobo and I are taking a half-day cruise with Esperance Island Cruises.
We depart from Taylor Jetty at nine.

Kobo comes through the front door of the backpackers in time to hear her name, and island cruises.

Oh Ageless! says Kobo. How nice!

Yes, my beloved, says Ageless. We shall see fur seals and sea lions, Cape Barren geese, and common or bottlenose dolphins. We shall have afternoon tea on Woody Island.

And do a spot of diving, I hope, says Gaius. Can you go down fifty metres?

I can't, myself, says Ageless. Does anyone have any string?

Ageless, says Kobo. If you think I'm descending fifty metres into the depths of the ocean on a string you are very much mistaken.

Of course not, beloved, says Ageless. Baby Pierre ....

He WON'T be coming, says Kobo. This is our time.

As you wish, precious angel, says Ageless, sniffing the air.

What is that strange smell? asks Ageless

Me, says Arthur. I'm heading down to the beach for a swim. Anyone coming?

Wait, says Gaius. Before you disappear again, do you have any pencils?

No, says Arthur, rummaging in his shorts pocket. But I've got these. I've got a whole packet.

He whips out the bamboo skewers he obtained from the Oriental Cash and Carry.

Ageless's eyes light up at the sight of the skewers.

He envisions several tasty ruby sea dragons lined up on skewers, ready to eat.

Can I have a few? asks Ageless.

What for? asks Kobo.

My back, says Ageless. Imagine you and me, beloved, me lying ecstatic in your creamy lap, you scratching my back lazily with a skewer.

There is no one, with the possible exception of Ferdy, who believes this false construct.

What Happens When A Zombie Is Poisoned

It's the last leg of the overnight drive from Perth to Esperance. Arthur is driving.

He is feeling unwell.  Both his knees are itchy.

Ferdy is napping.

Arthur stops the Perth Scuba van in Munglinup.

It's two o'clock in the morning.

Arthur wishes he hadn't eaten the semi-frozen wontons.

And the golden preserved chinese plums.

He sits down on the kerb and regards his knees ruefully.

What's up? says Ferdy. Why'd we stop? Hey, you look like a zombie.

What happens when a zombie gets poisoned? asks Arthur.

Dunno, says Ferdy. Nothing I guess. Here have some water.

He offers Arthur some water. Arthur swallows the water.

Gug-ug-ug. (Pause). Bluuuu-aah!

Semi-frozen wontons and golden preserved plums pour plentifully from the internal regions of Arthur and run into the gutter.

That feels better.

I knew we should've taken a break, says Ferdy. Let's take one now.

They climb into the back of the blue and white Perth Scuba van.

There at the side of the Southern Coast Highway, painted with goldfish, coral and logos, creaking like the floorboards at home.

Arthur lies down.

Sleep, says Ferdy.

Can't, says Arthur. His eyes bulge like red veined gumballs.

Relax, says Ferdy. Breathe.

I am breathing, says Arthur. It's not helping.

Do like I do, says Ferdy.

He presses the side of his nose.

Its called alternative nostril breathing, says Ferdy. First one, then the other. Ideally you should sit up with a straight spine and lower your shoulders.

Arthur is spellbound by the concept of alternative nostril breathing.

He tries it with his own fingers, but in the prone position

Sniff...... snoof....... sniff....... snoof.

Arthur is asleep in no time.

Ferdy. What a legend.

Ferdy looks down at Arthur sleeping.

Was he worth stealing a van for? And an expensive rebreather?

What is he doing?

And now Arthur smells of preserved plummy vomit, which is repulsive.

Ferdy looks out of the window of the Perth Scuba van. Where are they?

Munglinup. It's only an hour out of Esperance.

And what time is it? Two?

Ferdy lies down next to Arthur, and practices alternative nostril breathing.

Sniff...... snoof...... sniff...... snoof.

Ferdy is good at it.

Soon he too is asleep.

Reckless Eating

Arthur and Ferdy are hurtling through the night towards Esperance.

Ferdy is driving.

We'll do two hours each, says Ferdy. It's safer.

Arthur wonders how it will be safer.

After two hours Ferdy stops.

Your turn, says Ferdy.

Let's eat something, says Arthur.

Yeah, what? asks Ferdy. Reckon I might have some Smiths Crisps in the back there.

Try these, says Arthur.

He pulls a soggy packet of semi-frozen wontons from his shorts pocket.

Man! says Ferdy. You can't eat frozen wontons.

They're not frozen, says Arthur.

You have to cook 'em, says Ferdy.  You boil up the soup and you drop in the wontons.

What if you just eat them? says Arthur.

What kind are they? asks Ferdy.

Arthur reads the writing on the side of the packet.

Chicken, says Arthur.

You'll die of botulism, says Ferdy.

I'm hungry, says Arthur. He eats two semi-frozen chicken wontons, and offers a third one to Ferdy.

Not for me, man, says Ferdy. No way. You've got guts though. Ready to drive?

Arthur is. Even though he doesn't have a licence.

........

Sweezus calls the number of the ten missed calls on his phone.

Hello!  Detective Inspector Victor.

Victor? says Sweezus. It's Sweezus.

Finally, says Victor. It's about your little mate Terence.

He's in Melbourne, says Sweezus.

I'm in Melbourne, says Victor.

You get around, says Sweezus.

You can talk, says Victor. I've been promoted.

Good on you, says Sweezus. So have I.

Have you? says Detective Inspector Victor. What to? Oh... I get it. Easter. Very amusing.

It's not funny, says Sweezus. I'm Gaius's right hand man. Temporarily.

Not promoted upstairs then? says Victor ( a lapsed Catholic).

Sweezus pretends he doesn't get it.

Tattoos Become Understandable

What really happened to Ageless and how he escaped from the bus driver:

The bus driver (Rex) has taken the esky inside to his wife.

He has opened the esky.

Ta da! A lobster for you, Shirlene! Someone left him behind.

Shirlene has looked at the lobster (which was Ageless).

Shirlene: He's come all the way from Kalgoorlie?

Rex: Yes, but it's cool in the luggage compartment.

Ageless: No it isn't.

Shirlene: It talks! That's no good Rex! Let him go.

......

It's a fifteen minute walk to the Esperance YHA Backpackers.

It's quite late, but the office is open.

Welcome, says Natalie. Two adults?  How many nights?

One night, says Gaius. We expect Arthur here in the morning with our transportation.

Where are you heading? asks Natalie.

The Recherche Archipelago, says Gaius.

Lovely, says Natalie.

Can I recharge my phone here? asks Sweezus.

Go for it, says Natalie.

A few minutes later Sweezus has enough charge to know that he has ten missed calls from the same unknown number.

Woa! Who could that be?

.........

While the administrative business is going on, Ageless is admonishing Baby Pierre about his budding relationship with Brianna.

Females are tricky, says Ageless. Believe me I know.

Baby Pierre knows that Brianna isn't tricky. She is far too shallow. She sings all the time. That's why he loves her.

And he, Baby Pierre, is a free thinker. That's why she loves him.

Meanwhile Brianna and Kobo are getting to know one another.

Marlisa, says Brianna. You must know HER?

Never heard of her, says Kobo. Is she a singer?

She only won X-Factor! says Brianna.

Mmmm, says Kobo. I've been too busy reading to take much notice of popular culture. Having said that, a book can surprise you.

Wow! says Brianna. How can a book surprise you?

Well, says Kobo, I've just finished a book about a woman who gets tattooed. She's quite old by human standards. Her friends and her family are shocked, and can't understand it.

Tats? says Brianna. Tats are cool.

Not to her generation, says Kobo.

I might get one, says Brianna. In Perth, I might get a sea dragon.

You may regret it, says Kobo. Then what?

Did the old woman regret it? asks Brianna.

No, says Kobo. But then, she got cancer. Well, in fact she must already have had it. But she didn't know.

So anyway, says Brianna. What was the surprise?

Perhaps it was just me, says Kobo. But when she had cancer the tattoos became understandable.

To who? asks Brianna.

To me, says Kobo.

Oh WOW! says Brianna. You are like so intellectual. Do you have a daughter?

No, says Kobo. Or let's say, I suppose I have thousands, but I don't know of them.

Brianna sings softly a line from Marlisa's beautiful song;

'cause I like what I've seen so far, la la la ......

When Your Beloved Is In Someone's Pot

It's twenty three kilometres from Esperance Airport to Esperance, down the Coolgardie-Esperance Highway. Who knew?

Most of the travellers are renting cars.

If Arthur were here.......begins Gaius.

Enough of comparisons. Sweezus decides to do the type of thing Arthur would do.

.......

Baby Pierre and Brianna wait under the whale tail for Ageless.

The subtle colours of evening non-sunset have morphed into star-studded blackness.

A car pulls up nearby, and for a moment Baby Pierre is hopeful.

But it's only Gaius and Sweezus, getting out and saying goodbye.

Hey! says Baby Pierre. Over here guys!

Remarkable! says Gaius. You've made it to Esperance before us. Is Ageless nearby?

No, says Brianna, He's been kidnapped and eaten.

Woah! says Sweezus. How come?

The bus driver, says Baby Pierre. But he won't have been eaten.

When your world is left in tatters, sings Brianna.

Who is this pretty little shell with the tinkling voice? asks Gaius.

Brianna is pleased. She knows that she tinkles, but it's nice to be noticed.

Me, says Brianna. I'm going to Perth to be polished but I'm making a detour. I want to meet Kobo. Where is she?

Good question, where is she? says Gaius.

I'm here, says Kobo. Who wants to meet me?

Me, says Brianna. But only if it's you.

And I only want to meet you if it's you, says Kobo. I'll come out if it is.

Of course it is, says Brianna.

Then I'm coming, says Kobo.

She emerges from Gaius 's back pack all fresh and creamy. What a waste though. Ageless is in someone's pot.

Or is he?

Who is this making his scratchy way towards the whale tail on the Esperance foreshore?

My daddy, The Claw! cries Baby Pierre.

My son, cries Ageless. I have been captured by terrorists and escaped! Oh joy, and here is my beloved!

Kobo could not have asked for a more dramatic reunion. It reminds her somehow of Bel Canto. And she is Roxane. And he is....her accompanist, who dies.

Brianna is now certain that Kobo is Kobo, the famous reader.

She feels an instant rapport.

It occurs to Brianna that she could well be Kobo's daughter.

Meanwhile Ageless is telling his story.

(I won't repeat it, because it's all lies).

Perspectives On Shit Friday

So we have:

Everyone heading for Esperance, at different times and on different transport.

Who gets there first?

Gaius, Sweezus and Kobo, flying Virgin. They will arrive at 6.10 in the evening.

Kobo is in a particularly good frame of mind.

She has scored the whole seat that was reserved for Arthur.

She is reading a beautiful book called Bel Canto on her Kindle.

Gaius is looking at maps of the Recherche Archipelago.

Here, says Gaius. Lucky Bay. Is that where you were thinking?

Yep, says Sweezus. That's where I was thinking.

But Lucky Bay is not where he was thinking.

Sweezus was thinking about Terence in order to take his mind off Shit Friday.

When he gets to Esperance he should to try and get a trace on that call.

.......

Arthur has been waiting for Ferdy to knock off from work.

He has visited the Oriental Cash and Carry next door, and stocked up on some necessary items.

Bamboo skewers, frozen wontons, and golden preserved chinese plums.

No one will miss them.

.......

Seven thirty in the evening. The bus pulls up in Esperance.

The luggage compartment ceases rumbling, and is flooded with light.

Ageless is caught unprepared, and temporarily blinded.

The bus driver grabs him by the cephalothorax, and drops him into an esky.

Ageless has just time to garble: Heeh-elp!!! Baby Pi....errrrrre!!!!

Now what? says Baby Pierre to Brianna.

How should I know? says Brianna. Let's get out first.

They get out. No one sees them.

He'll surely escape, says Baby Pierre. He's my daddy.

When you're lost we're lost together, sings Brianna.

Is it true or is it just the words of the song by Marlisa?

You never quite know with Brianna.

They head down to the foreshore, Baby Pierre rattling and rolling, Brianna twirling on her umbo.

Let's wait there, says Baby Pierre, spotting the huge whale tail sculpture on the Esperance foreshore.

How nice it is, sticking out of the pavement.

Made of steel, timber and glass.

The flat glass panels reflect the subtle pink and purple evening colours you get looking south towards the ocean, instead of a sunset.

No sunset over the ocean. And the locals don't think that is strange.

The Uplifting Brightness Of Blackness

It's good to travel with someone who lives a charmed life.

When Arthur comes out of Perth Scuba, everything has been sorted.

Sorted, says Arthur. We get the Rebreather for free. And we won't need to pay for the extras.

Awesome, says Sweezus. How come?

It's Easter, says Arthur. I asked Ferdy if he was doing anything.  He wasn't. So he's coming with us. It's all good unless the Rebreather gets damaged.

So that's not his, says Sweezus.

He offered, says Arthur. Before I even promised him anything.

Is he coming with us, or what? asks Sweezus, ignoring the implication.

He's heading to Esperance after work in the van, says Arthur.

Eight hours drive! says Sweezus.

He says he'll pull an overnighter, says Arthur. I might go down with him.

Gaius won't like it, says Sweezus.

Not for long, says Arthur. Just keep him focussed. See you in Esperance.

Sweezus gets on the Canning Vale bus back to the Backpackers, to give Gaius the good news.

Gaius is pleased about the Rebreather, but annoyed about Arthur.

Now who will provide him with pencils?

I don't suppose YOU could find me two pencils, says Gaius. A blue and a red one.

What? says Sweezus.

Pencils, says Gaius. Never mind, don't bother.

.........

It is dark in the luggage compartment.

Dark and rumbly.

Ageless was right. Brianna doesn't like it.

To keep her up spirits she sings the words of the song by Marlisa:

if black is your brightest colour
if hurt is your only lover
when you fight we fight together
la la la la

Keep singing, says Ageless.

Do you like it? asks Brianna.

No, says Ageless. But now I know where you are.

I like it, says Baby Pierre, from the exact same location.

My voice or the song? asks Brianna.

The song, says Baby Pierre.

You just dropped a clanger, says Ageless.

I like it because it makes me think about blackness, says Baby Pierre, ploughing on regardless.

Humph, says Brianna.

Go on, my son, says Ageless. Continue your philosophical musings. What are your thoughts about blackness?

It's good if it's the brightest colour, says Baby Pierre. My tulip is black.

Not here it isn't, says Brianna. My greyness is black, my yellow is black and my cream is black. It's depressing. That's why I'm singing.

And my red hat, says Ageless.

What? says Brianna.

Is black, says Ageless.

Everyone is quiet, thinking about the blackness of blackness, including the rest of the luggage.

The bus rumbles south towards Esperance, through desert country, red and treeless.

As one might be led to suppose.

No Annoying Bubbles

I saw a Dive shop down the road, called Dive This, says Arthur.

No good, says Sweezus. We have to go to Perth Scuba.

Where's that? asks Arthur.

Canning Vale, says Sweezus. Don't worry. I've done my homework.

This is impressive.

.......

Sweezus and Arthur get off the TRANSPERTH bus in Canning Vale and head for Perth Scuba.

They hire out diving gear there.

Can I help you? asks a staff member, eventually.

Yeah man, says Sweezus. We're from the Western Australian Museum. We need to hire a deep sea diving suit for an expedition.

You'll need the Dolphin Rebreather, says the staff member, whose name is Ferdy.

Brill. That's the one, says Sweezus.

Ferdy goes out the back and comes back with a Dolphin Rebreather.

These are great, says Ferdy. Light, easy to transport, sophisticated electronics, longer no-stop limits, and no annoying bubbles. Comes with divesorb and nitrox.

Awesome says Sweezus. How much?

A thousand and fifty per week, says Ferdy. And then you'll need the rest of the package. Mask, fins, suit, boots, weight belt, delayed surfer marker buoy. That's an extra one fifty.

Cool, says Sweezus. I'll just make a phone call.

He pulls Arthur outside.

Faaaark, says Sweezus. What do I do now? That's heaps more than I quoted to Gaius.

Leave it to me, says Arthur.

He goes back inside.

.......


Ageless, Baby Pierre and Brianna are in the luggage compartment of a TRANSWA bus about to set out from Kalgoorlie.

The compartment has not yet been shut.

The driver notices Ageless.

An unaccompanied lobster, says the driver. Where'd you come from?

Ageless takes off his red knitted hat and climbs into it.

Now at least it looks as though he's in a shopping bag.

The driver gets up on the first step of the bus.

Anyone here own a lobster?

Yes, reply several voices.

(Who doesn't like lobster?)

Okay, says the driver. We'll sort this out later.

He closes the luggage compartment with a bang.

He climbs the steps, sits down in the driver's seat, and turns on the engine.

Only five hours to Esperance.