Reckless Eating

Arthur and Ferdy are hurtling through the night towards Esperance.

Ferdy is driving.

We'll do two hours each, says Ferdy. It's safer.

Arthur wonders how it will be safer.

After two hours Ferdy stops.

Your turn, says Ferdy.

Let's eat something, says Arthur.

Yeah, what? asks Ferdy. Reckon I might have some Smiths Crisps in the back there.

Try these, says Arthur.

He pulls a soggy packet of semi-frozen wontons from his shorts pocket.

Man! says Ferdy. You can't eat frozen wontons.

They're not frozen, says Arthur.

You have to cook 'em, says Ferdy.  You boil up the soup and you drop in the wontons.

What if you just eat them? says Arthur.

What kind are they? asks Ferdy.

Arthur reads the writing on the side of the packet.

Chicken, says Arthur.

You'll die of botulism, says Ferdy.

I'm hungry, says Arthur. He eats two semi-frozen chicken wontons, and offers a third one to Ferdy.

Not for me, man, says Ferdy. No way. You've got guts though. Ready to drive?

Arthur is. Even though he doesn't have a licence.

........

Sweezus calls the number of the ten missed calls on his phone.

Hello!  Detective Inspector Victor.

Victor? says Sweezus. It's Sweezus.

Finally, says Victor. It's about your little mate Terence.

He's in Melbourne, says Sweezus.

I'm in Melbourne, says Victor.

You get around, says Sweezus.

You can talk, says Victor. I've been promoted.

Good on you, says Sweezus. So have I.

Have you? says Detective Inspector Victor. What to? Oh... I get it. Easter. Very amusing.

It's not funny, says Sweezus. I'm Gaius's right hand man. Temporarily.

Not promoted upstairs then? says Victor ( a lapsed Catholic).

Sweezus pretends he doesn't get it.