The Imaginary Camera

Baby Pierre descends through the darkening waters. He is strapped to a camera, and tied to a string.

Above him, he can just make out Gaius receding.

Gaius is performing an action. What is it?

Baby Pierre doesn't know.

Gaius has stopped at a sensible depth of eighteen metres, and waited for Baby Pierre, who has rapidly passed him.

Gaius has waved to Baby Pierre.

Baby Pierre has not responded.

Gaius has realised that Baby Pierre does not know how to work the camera.

He gesticulates hoping that Baby Pierre will look up.

He mimics a man holding a camera. He waggles his finger.

He extends his arm, bends it at the elbow and plunges his finger towards the ON button of the imaginary camera.

It's the best he can do. He hopes Baby Pierre has been watching.

Baby Pierre hasn't.

Baby Pierre reaches a depth of forty eight metres (thirty metres below Gaius) and comes to a halt.

Hello jail bait, says an invisible sea creature.

Cheek! says Baby Pierre. I bet I'm much older than you are.

Hrch! says the invisible sea creature (a chimaera fulva).

Can you see me? asks Baby Pierre?

Course I can, says the chimaera.

Can you see anything else? asks Baby Pierre.

Yes, says the chimaera. Want to know what?

What? says Baby Pierre.

Sharks, stingrays, catfish, scorpionfish, flathead, velvetfish, old wives, boarfish and stargazers, says the chimaera. And we've all got venomous spines.

Anything else? asks Baby Pierre, hoping he might say red seadragons.

Your pathetic string, says the chimaera. And the Canon G16 in its Fantasea housing. Why don't you turn it on?

Can you see a button? asks  Baby Pierre.

Nope, says the chimaera. Maybe it's broken.

It would still have a button, says Baby Pierre.

Hrch! says the chimaera, and starts swimming away.

Gaius remembers that he has Baby Pierre on a string, and can therefore control him..

He starts reeling him upwards.

........

Back on board the Georgette, Gaius and Baby Pierre are debriefing.

Not bad for a first dive, says Gaius. Pity about the camera. This is the button.

I see, says Baby Pierre. But I couldn't have turned it on anyhow.

You need to turn it on before he hits the water, says Captain Ed.

Yes I know that now, says Gaius. Thanks for the input.

Did you see anything interesting? asks Mary-Emily.

No, says Baby Pierre. I couldn't see anything. But I heard something. It had a venomous spine.

Fascinating, says Gaius. I would kill for a pencil.

Spine! says Brianna, and at once she starts singing some more of the song by Beyoncé:

and I don't really need these fingers
if I don't get to touch your spine
la la la la.......

Ven-om-ous, Brianna! says Baby Pierre. Do you know what that means?

well I don't need these legs
if I ain't walking by your side.... sings Brianna.

She isn't even listening.

Mary-Emily is listening.

She's becoming more and more certain that Brianna is some new kind of ipod.